There was too much blood.
Every breath he took. He could feel it. His lungs were filling. He was swimming in it.
But she was so determined.
She'd dragged him to his feet. Slung his arm over her shoulder. And she trudged on.
It only took two steps before he was back on the ground, coughing and choking.
Force, how weak he was. How pathetic. Every word Snoke had spoken was true.
What a fittingly pointless end to his wasted life.
Rey snatched up her abandoned breathing mask and secured it to his face in spite of his protests.
"We have to move," she pleaded. The footfalls of the troopers grew in volume. Ben examined the gashes across the side of her face. Absently noted that they were even more perfect mirror images of one another now.
She was still so beautiful…
Two arms hooked under his, one on each side. Chewbacca carried him with one hand and wielded his bowcaster with the other.
Chewbacca. Who had shot him not long ago. Shot him for killing his best friend. His own father.
Not a shot to kill. Ben gazed up at the Wookiee. He didn't deserve his forgiveness. Nor his pity.
Ben's toes carved a channel in the ash as he was carried along. A red flash and he realized Rey was wielding his saber. Deflecting blaster bolts. Protecting them. Protecting him.
She had come all this way. Endured such hardships.
He knew her to be the most selfless being in all of creation.
And he knew himself to be the most undeserving recipient.
The Falcon was in sight. Chewbacca howled. "Almost. Almost." Rey chanted to him. But there was something else.
A presence.
Not on the planet's surface. But above. Among the debris of the clashing fleets. The remnants of his once mighty armada.
"Mother."
Rey's head whipped about, and she stared at him in disbelief.
But it was real. His mother was there. Had equipped the Falcon with a tracker and followed in secret. Just to be certain.
Just to be safe.
She was anything but, now. He could feel his ships closing in around her own. The frantic energy that charged her bridge crew. The pressure drops of distant bulkheads blowing from the strain.
Her only thoughts of him.
"Mother," he struggled against the arms holding him now. Chewbacca snarled as he quickened their pace.
"MOTHER!"
Their eyes followed his own to the brilliant white halo expanding amongst the debris. Rey fell to her knees at his side. A light had been extinguished.
Gone. Gone. Everything. Gone.
With a crook of his finger his saber returned to his hand.
"BEN, NO!" The words rung in his ears as he waded into the sea of white and black.
There was nothing left at all.
Blaster bolts bounced to and fro. Bodies dropped all around him. His injury was nothing but a distant thought.
She was gone.
So his horror would be, too.
His open hand extended to the stars. He knew what power he possessed.
Rey and Chewbacca could only watch as he ripped his own star destroyer out of the sky.