Chapter 10

Emma was in a lot of pain all day. Mike felt horribly because he should have insisted she had the pain pills the night before. The pain brought on the moodiness and she wouldn't let Mike help her or really anywhere near her. It was heartbreaking for him. While Mallory was trying to get her situated, Mike went upstairs to shower and shave. It was the first time he had really been alone and the tears finally started falling. His relationship with Emma was destroyed because of something he didn't even remember doing. Hannah felt like dying wouldn't matter to Mike and Mallory was trying her best to bridge gaps that a week before didn't exist or Mike was oblivious to. He had a baby on the way, and it was only a matter of time before he messed something up with him or her.

When Mike finally came downstairs Hannah and Ms. Harris were in his office doing school work and Mallory was changing Emma's bandages. She had dosed Emma up with pain medicine and so she was pretty out of it. Her mood had changed yet again and now she wanted Mike to hold her. Mallory quietly told him to just go along with it. It was driving him crazy and he was losing patience quickly.

The rest of the day was spent with Mike cuddling with Emma, Mallory was asleep and Hannah was doing her school work. Emma was not at all talkative and slept part of the day. She was mad because she was going to miss out on the spring soccer league due to her arm and couldn't draw because she couldn't hold the drawing pad. When Mike had told her that he wanted two weeks, he didn't realize the day fell on her birthday. Emma had realized it but didn't say much. She wouldn't give Mike an idea what she wanted to do. He had missed three of her birthdays due to the extended deployment from the Arctic and then last year he had spent the day in the hospital with Hannah. He wanted it to be extra special for her especially if she decided to live elsewhere at the end of the two weeks. Mike was too aware that it might be the last birthday he would have with her.

Emma felt better since Mike was willing to hold her. He had asked what she wanted to do for her birthday and she honestly didn't know. She was kind of hoping he would write her a letter and would give her an "Emma Day." If he made her live somewhere else due to being mad at her, she wanted to have just one more day with him. She finally just told him she wanted a day out with him but wasn't sure what they could do because of her arm. He promised her he would figure something out for them. Emma knew Mike's deadline fell on her birthday and she prayed that he would forgive her enough to at least give her some time on her birthday. Everyone told her he wasn't mad but Emma wasn't sure how he couldn't be.

Mike had noticed that Emma rarely called him dad or daddy and when he told her that he loved her she didn't really respond. It bothered him. When Hannah was upset with him she would refer to him as "Dad" but typically both girls just called him "Daddy" and he loved it. For her not to refer to him as either, hurt a lot.

Emma was dreading having to go to sleep in her bed, because she couldn't find a comfortable position. Laying against her dad had helped, he made a good pillow but he had been walking around stiffly all day because he got cramped up between her and Hannah on her little bed. She doubted he would go for that again. Mallory had to work an extra long shift and would go in at seven that night and not get home until three the next day. She had slept all day and hated leaving Mike for a second night in a row. She had brought up taking a break due to all that was going on with Emma and not going back to work until after the baby was born, but Mike disagreed. He was afraid that if she took a break, she would not go back and he wanted her to achieve being a doctor. It was a huge goal for her and she was due to graduate right before the baby was to be born.

Tom was covering for Mike for at least the next two weeks so he could concentrate on fixing his relationship with Emma. Tom had been very supportive throughout the whole situation and the President was very understanding. Detective Sheridan was planning on interviewing Emma the next day and they had decided that Tom would sit in on the interview. They would need a parent or guardian with her and Mike didn't really want to put Mallory through that, he just wasn't sure how Emma would react to him being there. He had explained to Emma what was going to happen the next day and that she was going to need to tell them everything that had happened and he and Uncle Tom would be there with her. She looked sad and asked Mike if Molly could be in the room too and he immediately agreed. It was a strange request but if having Molly close gave Emma comfort than no one minded. The one downside was that Detective Reynolds would be there but Mike had made it very clear that he wanted Detective Sheridan to conduct the interview. Emma had sensed his dislike of Reynolds and seemed to mirror it. The next day would be frustrating at best, and Mike wasn't sure he was ready to hear all that happened to his baby girl. Tom had told him how much Emma had helped them when they made entry and Alex had told Detective Sheridan how brave Emma was throughout the whole ordeal. Mike was proud of her and let her know that much.

Mallory had kept Emma dosed up with medicine pretty much all day with strict instructions for both Mike and Emma that she was to take the pain medication. She did get her a prescription for something to calm her stomach and that helped some. Supper was a quiet affair because Emma was kind of doped up. Mallory gave her a bath before she left for work and somehow she ended up falling asleep on Mike and Mallory's bed. Neither of them had the heart to move her. When it was time for bed Mike would wake her up to give her another dose of pain medicine and if she wanted to move to her own room than she could. It wouldn't hurt Mike's feelings if she decided to stay in their bed though.

Mike and Hannah stayed downstairs, watching a movie while Emma was sleeping. It gave Mike an opportunity to talk to Hannah about the conversation that Mallory had overheard, he just wasn't sure how to bring it up. He was definitely not winning any "Father of the Year" awards that year.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something. The other day when Mallory and I stepped out to talk to Emma's doctor, she overheard you tell Emma that I was prepared if you died because of you heart. Is that what you think?"

Hannah paused the movie and nodded at him. It broke his heart that she would actually think that he was prepared for that. He knew it was a possibility that he would outlive her but was definitely not prepared for it.

"I guess I just thought that I was kind of an obligation for you to take care of and that it would be easier for you if I did die, you would be prepared and would cope with it better than what you would if Emma died when those people had her. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, I'm not suicidal or anything, but I definitely hinder you, Mallory and Emma. And it will only get worse when the new baby comes. You have to hire a tutor for me, I can't play sports, can't be outside if it's too cool out, my medicines probably cost a fortune. I may not be able to work when I get old enough. I do want you to concentrate on Emma right now, I don't want her to go to live somewhere else, and I don't think she wants to either. She just thinks you can't forgive her for telling you that she hated you. She doesn't hate you but she doesn't think you will want her around anymore. She is hurt by what she found out about you but she is misreading you not hugging her or touching her like you normally would for being mad at her. I know you're not mad at her, and I know you've told her you aren't but she doesn't believe it, and I don't know how to make her believe it. But don't hesitate to hug her. I know the counselor told you to not, but that's stupid. She wants you to. I love you, but I am sorry that I slow you all down so much."

Mike was absolutely stunned, saddened and heartbroken by Hannah's speech. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom and didn't seem phased by her speech, it was almost like she had been talking about the weather or what she wanted for breakfast. The one bright side was that she had given him some insight on how Emma felt. He knew that Emma saw Hannah as a confidant and would go to her when she wouldn't go to Mallory or him. There were a lot of secrets between the two of them but he also knew that if it was something detrimental, Hannah would not hesitate to tell him. When Hannah came back in, she started to sit down in the recliner but he grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit down next to him. He had to correct, or try to correct her thinking she was a hindrance and her death wouldn't phase him because he would no longer need to care for her.

"If I lost you, I would be just as devastated as what I am because of Lucas dying. I have faced combat and all kinds of crazy situations but the idea that I could lose you, is far more terrifying. Yes, I have an obligation where you are concerned, it's the same exact obligation I had with Lucas and still have with Emma. My obligation is to put a roof over your head, feed you, cloth you, make sure you have an education, have morals and are a good person. Those are obligations, and sometimes I haven't always fulfilled them the way I should have. I was neglectful before the Pandemic, gone too much, always worried about work and when I got you girls back, I was determined to be a better father. I really don't know what to say that will make you think that you are not a hindrance. Your illness makes me slow down and treasure every single second I have with you, because I know that there is a possibility that I will outlive you. I think the reason why I didn't handle Emma's kidnapping well was because maybe I hadn't stopped to do that. You telling me what Emma has told you helps me, because now I know that she doesn't really want to live someplace else. But I want you to know and understand that I am not obligated to love you, that's the bonus to being a parent. Getting to love you and be loved back, watching you overcome so much, watching you grow into a beautiful woman, all that is a bonus and your illness doesn't change any of that. I loved you before you got sick, but I love you even more now. Please, never think that I wish that you would die so I wouldn't feel obligated to take care of you. I love you, and I don't know what else to say."

Hannah had been crying pretty much the entire time and Mike had shed more than a few tears while they were talking. He had pulled her to where her head was laying on his shoulder and they had their arms wrapped around each other. Neither one of them said too much, they were both emotionally drained. They stayed like that for probably an hour, and would have stayed longer but Emma had called for Mike. Hannah sat up and kissed him on the cheek. Mike was confident that he had gotten through to her. He headed upstairs and she started going around to lock the doors. She would check on Emma when she come upstairs.