A/N: sorry again for the delay. I was totally in Harry Potter mood until the Star Trek movie excitement/ enjoyment set in. Anyways, I had to deal with my Spock obsession for a few days, but I'm over it. prepare for some serious Snape action.
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This whole Snape-being-too-busy-for-Sarah- thing got very old very fast.
It seemed as if every time I saw him, Snape was busy skulking about in that secretive way that I usually found so profound and freakily attractive, but NOT when I wasn't in on the secret.
I had begun to talk to my cat as if it were Snape himself.
"Snapey Wapey!" I would coo, petting his greasy ears.
But there would be no annoyed eye roll or snotty reply.
He would just rub his face on my face and purr in that gloppy, oily sounding way.
Sodding cat.
"What did it do that for?" I demanded, rubbing the cat snot off my face.
Jill's voice sounded, muffled from the huge book she was hidden behind:
"Cat's do that."
I pushed Sev onto the floor.
"I don't like it."
Jill put the book down and stared me dead in the eye.
"Listen, at least Snape is in the same school. If I were you, I'd ask him spot on. Can't you hide out in his office or something? That always did the trick in catching Dumbledore..." Jill looked down at her watch, gloomily. The hand had never stopped spinning since Dumbledore had left, but she still wore it. Just in case.
I smiled a bit, and picked up Severus, who had just laid there after I dumped him on the floor.
"Bloody brilliant." I grinned at her, stroking the cat like I was Dr. Evil or something, "As always."
I was tempted to throw in a 'Mwahahaha" but I refrained.
Jill rolled her eyes and went back to her book.
Looks like it's time for a stake out.
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I knocked.
My heart froze.
Logic dictated that Snape would not be here, since he hadn't the last 500 times that I WANTED him to be.
However, now that I had a devious plan and all, you could never be too sure.
I was greeted with nothing but silence.
I knocked again, but didn't hesitate to open the door.
Ya know, Jillishly.
The office was empty.
Obviously.
Half of me was still annoyed, but the bigger half of me was relieved and I proceeded to take a seat in his desk.
My heart fluttered as I sat down.
Just sitting in a seat shared by Severus Snape makes one feel all giddy and intelligent.
Ok.
I was there.
Now what?
Waiting?
Bugger....
...
I looked down at the top drawer.
It was so tantalizing, all closed and secretive and whatnot.
I knew I shouldn't open it.
That would be a breach of privacy.
And Severus Snape adores his privacy.
I ran my finger over the drawer pull.
It was cold, and practically had "open me! OPEN ME!" written all over it.
"What the hell." I muttered under my breath. (famous last words for me, 98% of the time.)
I pulled open the drawer with a flourish.
Nothing flew out at me, and I was a bit miffed.
Then again, Snape wasn't really one for theatrics.
I peered into the drawer.
...nothing.
Not a beetle wing. Not a speck of dust. Not even a dead housefly.
I rolled my eyes.
Typical.
Suddenly, the door flew open with a bang.
Snape came whirling in, his normally pallid face was positively livid.
"It was as accident, professor!" yowled the voice of Harry Potter, who had ALMOST dared to cross the threshold of the office, but stopped with one toe over the line.
Snape whirled around, totally oblivious to me sitting in his desk chair, and gripped the edge of the door in his hand. His knuckles were white with tension.
"Your lessons are OVER. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE." He bellowed, slamming the door in Potter's bespectacled mug.
The slam of the door rang out like a gunshot, and I just sort of sat there for a few seconds. Not breathing, mouth agape, still perched awkwardly over the open and empty drawer.
I didn't move.
They can't see you if you don't move.
I mean hey- it worked for that dinosaur in Jurassic Park, right?
Sadly, Snape was too smart for that rubbish, and he turned and looked straight at me.
I shut my mouth and slid his drawer closed very slowly.
He looked me up and down, made an ugly twitch with his upper lip, and fled.
Thats right, fled.
He just whipped right around and exited.
I was flabbergasted.
"OI! Come back here!" I hollered as the door slammed shut behind the fluttering black robes.
I stood up and ran to the door, opening it hastily.
"Wait! Come back!" I shouted at his slowly disappearing shadow, "If you leave me here, I'll do something bad!" I threatened.
He continued, without even pausing.
"I'll blow things up!! I'll break things!"
Still, no reply.
"I'll ingest something horrid! Just you wait!"
He turned the corner at the end of the corridor, his robes flicking out of sight.
"I'LL GLUE SOMETHING TOGETHER!"
But he was gone.
I growled and kicked the doorframe in anger, sufficiently stubbing my toe.
Merlin's beard.