New Years Eve
10pm
Farkle
I gave Riley until midnight to tell Lucas and Maya that she is still in love with Lucas. If she doesn't say anything- I will. It's not fair to any of us that she is keeping this a secret and it's definitely not fair to Riley. I know she "brother-zoned" Lucas because she wants Maya to be happy. We all want Maya to be happy but it can't be at Riley's expense. This has been a strange couple of months and I'm not happy about it. I would love to blame Lucas but that's not fair either. It's not his fault he looks like he does and even more importantly, that he's a good guy. Sometimes I can't help but wish that feelings never entered into any of this. No matter what, someone is going to end up hurt. I worry about all of us.
Riley because she is the eternal optimist. She has been interested in Lucas since the day they met. Over time her feelings have grown stronger. This has the potential to change her- dramatically and like harrythe pointed out we "desperately need Riley to be Riley." * She is our dreamer, our conscience and most importantly she is our Fixer and I don't know how we can fix her if she breaks. She would do anything for Maya (and she has) including breaking her own heart and giving up the guy she loves.
Maya because she has known so much heartbreak, I'm afraid that this will only add to her feelings of abandonment. I'm not sure about her feelings for Lucas. They have always struck me as being great friends. They have always had a great rapport but I never saw the big heart eye emoji look on her face when she sees Lucas. I can't help but wonder if she truly has strong feelings for him or if they are more along the lines of sibling love. I'm upset that Maya doesn't seem too concerned about Riley stepping aside for her and that worries me. I don't know if I can explain it correctly but it's almost as if she doesn't care as much anymore. She and Riley have been "off" the last few months. I'm afraid that this could drive an even bigger wedge between them.
Lucas because he seemed so shocked by what happened in Texas and you know he wouldn't want to be the cause of friction between 2 of his best friends. When he and Riley spoke in Texas, you could feel the tension in the air and I swear you could hear his heart break when she said "I love you Lucas and now I know how." I thought for sure he was going to lose his mind trying to get Riley to talk to him about it. Then we came back to NY and it got even weirder. Charlie asked out Riley within minutes of finding out that she and Lucas were just going to be friends. (Zay and his big mouth) Maya said something happened between her and Lucas and I heard him mutter "Oh boy" while waiting for Riley to react. I'm sure Lucas feels something for Riley but I'm not sure he knows what it is. I hope he takes some time to really think things through before he makes any decisions and it's only fair that he knows how Riley really feels.
Lastly, I'm worried about me. How do I keep this from totally destroying the 4 of us? How do we recover from this? This has the potential to hurt 3 of my closest friends. Yet, a small part of me feels guilty. I'm forcing Riley's hand in this because she needs someone on her side. She wouldn't let me go through something like this on my own, so I'm going to force her to think of herself for a change.
Things got really weird when we were playing the couples game. I don't even know how to explain that hot mess.
Now- we are all standing on the roof getting ready to countdown to midnight and the start of the new year. Maya and Lucas are standing together, Charlie is on the bench with Auggie, Smackle is in my arms and Riley is standing by herself.
5….4….3…. Riley starts to head towards the door.
2….1…. "Riley still loves Lucas" I shout and she stops in her tracks. I told her I was going to do it if she didn't. You could hear a pin drop on that rooftop.
Lucas and Maya are stunned. Riley is stunned and hurt. I wish I didn't have to say it…she should have but I honestly don't regret it.
"I did the right thing. I hope you guys can forgive me." I remark as I grab Smackle's hand and start for the door.
I hope they do but I am prepared to deal with the consequences if they don't. After Riley sacrificed herself for Maya- I felt I had no choice but to sacrifice myself for all of us. Friends don't lie to each other when they talk and real friends listen, even if the words aren't said out loud.
A/N: This chapter was a struggle for me. I watched the New Year's episode and was very disappointed. I wasn't a big fan of the triangle to start with… I think that they should have gone another route. This triangle has the potential to totally destroy the core 4. No matter what pair you ship, the whole essence of the show is the relationship between Riley and Maya. I don't see how this could be resolved without it affecting their friendship. I still ship Rucas and Joshaya…no matter what direction the show goes in, this will always be my ideal pairings.
A/N *: The Riley line is from Hearts that Bend and Break by Harrythe. It is an amazing one shot from Farkle's POV. I have read it dozens of times! It totally blows this chapter out of the water. Thanks for helping me break through the writer's block.