Alright, so we have just a few more chaps before I'm going to end this awesome fic...Thanks for all the lovely reviews...and thanks for wishing my flight well, it went very well. England is awesome...but now I have to ride my bike to school...and I think I caught a cold...((oh...and just to brag I won't ever have to take another biology or Algebra class ever again! ITS A MIRACLE!!!)) Anyways ((clears throat)) on with the chap!

I didn't want to hurt Charlie but I needed information. I used the same excuse as before. And it worked, and I got more the the story.

First of all I had found out that he was divorced from someone name Renee. He told me that she- I didn't like the cold, and that I hated snow. He told me that I had truly loved Edward...well that 'I' thought I did. Then he told me about that too familiar story that I keep hearing about; how Edward had crushed my heart and left me. Next about my depression, that he nearly sent me back with Renee, but I had refused to leave. Then his tone changed I'm not sure how, he told me about my friendship with Jacob, that I had changed so drastically, just because I had a friend. Then his tone went back. Jacob had stopped speaking to me, for a week, and during that short week I went back into my depression.

"And on that third day...she didn't come back. 'Just a drive' She told me. 'I'll be back soon'. We don't know what caused it, but her truck burned into flames. It had to have been four hours or so before I went looking for her. I would have done it sooner if she hadn't of called me 2 hours in...I had hoped...that she had gotten out before...but, the scientists found the remains of somethin' 'organic'. Something with her DNA on it...It was hard to believe, until she didn't come back home...until Renee came up. Until her funneral."

He had told me that it didn't feel right with out a real burrial. "I-we didn't seem right without a casket. The whole town came...and not just the town but nearly of all La Push. The Blacks, Clearwaters, Uleys, all of 'em." Charlie told me.

Then I left, before I could weep with him for his dead daughter, for my lost memories. Then I did that thing again, so very impulsive. I didn't really think about it. I just planned to tell him not to worry, or to blame, and to carry a grudge. When Charlie was asleep, I reentered the house, and went to my once bedroom. It was so much different from mine back in Italy, just more and less things was the difference. I had a bed, obviously, and a computer, a bookshelf filled with books. I checked my email, good thing I was already logged in, I didn't want to have to figure out my own password. The messages from my forgotten mother, and the ones I had sent, made me very, very sad.

When I knew that Charlie was deep within his sleep, I decided to act. I went to his room, and awoke him bye touching his too warm face. He shuddered, my hand was cold. "Hello" I told him.

He sat up, his eyes wide. I had taken off my appearance, only my contacts remained, I didn't want him to see my blood red eyes. "Bella!" He cried, he stumbled, but somehow managed to get to me, he embraced me. "Bella, I'm so sorry" He whimpered.

"I'm sorry Dad" I had guessed that was what I called him. "For leaving you so much sooner" I had learned that graduation was on it's way, I had guessed that I would have soon left, notheless.

"Oh my baby." He sobbed.

"It wasn't and isn't your fault I told him." I didn't want him to be depressed forever. "I wasn't anyone's fault...so don't blame yourself, not Renee, Jacob, not even Edward. Please, for me, don't be hateful." I told him.

"Bbbut" He stuttered.

"It was an accident...A fire, jammed belt...but it wasn't anyone's fault. Have no regrets, I just wanted to tell you good bye, and to tell that I love you." Then I disappered from his sight, I ran fast so fast, he didn't even know what really happened.
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I still had not remembered my lost memories, but I had made new ones. They were probably almost the same as the ones I did not remember. I knew now, more about the girl Bella, who I had once been. And then I felt it necessary to visit my forgotten mother. She deserved a goodbye from me as well.

So I flew, across the country. And I used the same disguise as before, but maybe not quite the same excuse. I desired to know who my mother was, is.

She had divorced Charlie and remarried a man named Phil. She was very artsy, and she could get off topic, easily. Then she told me about me, about Bella. About how clumsy she was. And she laughed when she told me that I talked in my sleep. She told me that I moved because she wanted her to be happy. And lastly she told me that, "She really wanted him, she really loved him."

Then I left. I couldn't take it anymore. I hid away in an hotel room. I couldn't believe that I could give up all of this. I sobbed, and cried, silently and without tears. Why would I give up such a life? How could I? I wished terribly, that I could remember Renee, Charlie, Jacob, those kids from that school, and Edward. I wished I could remember Bella, and my life before this one. I could not believe that I had sacrificed my memories for this life. What did I get out of it? What did I exchange? What was my sacfice for my memories? The need for blood? To live in a sunless world? To forever be cold and hard as stone? To take humans? Why did I do such a thing? How could I want this? After I had everything? Friends, good friends, a family...people who loved and cared for me...I had a life, a life not ready to end so soon. Why did I sacrifce, everything?

When I got a hold of myself, I went back to Renee's home, Phil wasn't there this night. I awoke her like I awoke Charlie, I told her basically the same thing, I told her goodbye and that I loved her, too. I told her not to blame Charlie, nor herself, she didn't deserve the blame, no one did. She begged me not to go. Which made me sob, without my lost tears. I told her I had to. and so I kissed her cheek goodbye, and once again vanished from her sight, forever.
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Back in the same room, I cried again, tearlessly, I wished I had tears. I wish I was pink and soft again, I wished my eyes were brown, and that I could eat strawberries...I didn't know why I wanted strawberries...How could I choose this life over the wonderful one I had before? How could I do this?

'She truly loved him.' A voice from one of my new memories said. 'She really wanted him, she really loved him.' Renee's voice said. "I came here to destroy myself.' Edward's voice entered.

He was going to destroy himself... Suddenly it came in focus. Edward loved me, to the ends of the Earth. To the point that he wanted to destroy himself, rather than live in a world without me.
I then...I thought he left me, but not to purposely hurt me. He did it to try and do what was right. Even though, as a human t must have crushed me. It did send me into a deep depression. BUt not because he didn't love me. But because he did love me.
"He loves me more than life." I said aloud to myself.

Then it all came together. Like pieces from a puzzle. The sacrifice... The reason I gave up everything, all those people. Why I excahnged it for this life. To follow him. Because I wanted him, because I loved him more than my own life. That's why I gave it up. Because I loved him. Because I loved Edward.

I closed my eyes. That map appeared before my eyes. I searched through the pin points, searching for him. I found him someplace close to Chicago. He laid on the ground. Somewhere in a forest. He was curled up, almost into a ball. His head was bent low and crumpled in pain. His lips quivered, he was saying something I couldn't hear, but I read them easily. He wouldn't stop repeating, 'I'm so sorry.'

I opened my eyes. There was a strange feeling in me. I didn't understand it. But it started to hurt...me, to see him in such agony. What was I going to do now? What could I? What was the right choice? What did I want to do? Italy? No, I didn't want to go back there. I couldn't go back there.

I closed my eyes, again, I looked back at Edward. But suddenly I saw something different. Instead of him curled up on the ground, he was laid back, his arms spread out, sun light glittered off his skin. And then I saw a girl, I knew, sitting next to him. I opened my eyes. quickly I closed them again to look back at Edward. The sun was not shining, it was very dark. Edward was back into that same position.

I opened my eyes. I felt in pain. I wished I could remember him. The way we were. The way it had I wished I could remember his touch. His cold skin, his hard skin. I wished I could remember what his smiles were like, how they made me feel. I wished I had remembered my love for Edward. because now, I felt so alone. I hugged my self. My breathing stopped. It hurt so much. I wished I could love him as before. Then suddenly it all stopped, my pain.
"I can love him again." I said aloud. And it was right.

"That's right, Bella." A voice said, his voice. His voice. And it was. Even though I couldn't really remember him, or remember my love, I knew that I could love him, and that I did. There was just too much proof.

I sat up. I checked out of the Hotel room. I left my disguise, I didn't need it. I walked down the street, it was a dark night, but plenty of cars on the roads. I walked. The whole way, smiling.

Hoped you liked it, next chap will be out soon...((oh and sorry Bella's-choice our new computer doesn't have a spell check...that I know of...)) please give me more reviews...! Not that I don't have plenty already, or that I'm being ungrateful or anything...