Author Note: yeah... so LightYouAPie is gonna be my "assistant" for the story (aka its gonna be a collab between us) from now on...

A.N # 2:

RainbowIceburg: Yeah so meat was found in a cardboard box and we randomly flew him there on a flying unicorn pooping out a rainbow for power, as they neared the estate the magical freaking unicorn bucked him off and went psycho and tried to kill him and so Meat jumped through a window and went all ninja on ghost... (Lightyouapie: needless to say he failed and couldn't compete with his masky-awesomness) ... Which resulted in a black eye for Meat. The magical freaking end - oh anywho back to the story!

Soap stood in the middle of the room, knife twirling in his hand while a sadistic grin filled his face. He was pumped with adrenaline and his Mohawk senses were tingling.

Was he ready for the hardest task ever to cross his path?

Oh yes... he was ready.

"Captain?" Ghost looked up from the newspaper, coffee cup hanging in mid air as Soap slashed the air in front of the fridge. "Did you take some of Makarov's prescribed meds again?"

The lieutenant ducked as soap threw the knife straight into the wall where his head previously was.

"What the bloody fudge nuggets do you THINK you're DOING?"

Soap shrugged his shoulders before unsheathing and even bigger knife from his back pocket.

"Finishing the job." he replied casually. Ghost just stared at him before righting his chair and grabbing the knife wedged in the wood for safety.

If you could see Soap at that moment you'd do the same.

The captain stabbed the air in front of his face before twisting the knife around and slamming the handle through a window.

"Die Damnit!"

He stumbled forward, turning around to charge at the coffee maker. Knife poised at a 90 degree angle he lunged, twisting the weapon inside the machine before taking it out to stab it again.

"What in God's name does he think he's doing?" Price dodged Soap's hand as it readied itself for another stab at the Roast-O-matic (which they had nicknamed ).

"I dunno mate, the only thing I got out of him was 'finishing the job'." Ghost mumbled before ducking again as the coffee pot careened for his face. Price scoffed before leaning back in an unmatching chair.

"What job's that? Making metal confetti to throw at his release from the insane asylum?"

The lieutenant chuckled in agreement.

Soap continued to slash the air, stopping at a rather large flour sack.

"I told you..." he re-sheathed his knife before pulling out a fully loaded G18. He cocked the gun before raising it like a gangster (A/N: sideways lol)

"...to DIE ALREADY!"

Soap squealed out a 'battle cry' before dumping the clip into the sack of flour, earning a small 'poof' and a shower of white mist.

"He's totally lost it..." ghost mumbled from the table barricade while price nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile...

Roach was sitting on the couch in the giant living room, staring at the moose head which was mounted above the fireplace. Next to him Meat was in full concentration as he made it to the second level of "Italian Plumber Princess Rescue".

"I feel pretty... oh so pretty... i feel pretty and witty and-"

"You CAN stop at anytime ya know." Roach snapped, interrupting his comrade's off key singing. Meat scoffed.

"Oh come on... after your dream you KNOW its true." he smirked at the Sargent's growl.

"That you're gay? Yeah kinda figured that."

Meat rolled his eyes as he rescued princess "plumb".

"If anyone's gay here its you. I mean what were you thinking before you fell asleep?"

"Pain Meat... Pain. And you're gonna be in a lot yourself if you don't shut your trap."

Roach stood up and stalked over to the kitchen doorway.

"Oh come on! You were probably thinking about Soap."

A/N: (Lights: last one i swear)

R.I: so when you think of the whole: 'soap squealed out a battle cry' I want you to think of this: .com/watch?v=_tVZFB8hsA&feature=related

Lights: Rate / Review / Fav! If not Soap will use his Mohawk senses to force-feed you bloody fudge nuggets *evil grin*