Chapter 10
Sorry, I had writer's block, BIG TIME. The last chapter (9) was like the climax of the story to me, at the time. Now I'm trying to build up to something as good or better. This is hard, no doubt.
Gillian walked into Cal's house and smelled something very delicious. Cal came from the kitchen and watched as she put her bags of purchases down in the hallway. He walked over and looked at all the bags.
"Went on a shopping spree, I see." Cal smiled at her and reached in one bag to pull out a paperback book. He read the Title out loud. "A New Found Love." Cal chuckled and looked at Gillian. "Only you, my darlin'." Gillian tried to snatch the book out of his hand but he held it up too high for her to grab. She started giggling.
"Give me that, Cal." She said as she tried to reach the book.
"Uh, uh. Nope. Let see what's in this book that makes you so giddy." He said. He switched the book from his right hand to his left to keep her from taking it. He opened the book and read a couple of sentences to her. "The moonlight glistened on the water as he took her hand in his and pulled her closer against his muscular body. She gasped and looked deeply into his steel blue eyes, she couldn't resist him any longer." Cal chuckled again.
"Come on, Cal, put it back in the bag, please!" She was amazed at how his British accent sounded so erotic when he read just those two sentences.
She covered up that thought with a laugh and hoped she wasn't displaying those thoughts on her face. He heard her laughter, this time it was real happiness he could hear. He looked her over. Just looking at her, seeing the laugh in her eyes when she looked at him, had everything inside him going warm.
An uncomfortable silence had fallen in the hallway. Cal was still holding the book over his head away from Gillian. Their movements and playful antics stopped. Their bodies were touching. Neither realized how close they were and where their hands had landed on each other. One of Cal's hands held the book up while his other had landed just below her hip. His fingers were wrapped around her and resting near an area of her curved bottom, which should only be meant for a woman's lover to touch. At the threshold of crossing that line.
Gillian had been reaching for the book of course and her hand was wrapped around Cal's wrist that held the book over his head. Her other hand was clutching his shirt at the center of his chest in the attempts to grasp for the book. She could feel his pulse quicken, she could feel his heart pounding as was hers. It took her very last breath. Cal nor Gillian breathed, the world had stopped. They looked into each other's eyes, both sets dark, both full of desire. Neither one believing what the other could see.
They slowly started to move apart from each other and let go of the breath they both were holding. She smoothed her blouse down that had become ruffled during play and he gently put the book back in the bag. Cal watched as Gillian straightened her body into a prefect posture and quickly changed her demeanor. Both of them were slightly panting from rustling around.
She cleared her throat and combed her fingers through her hair. "I went shopping because I needed to feel better and the book will make me happy." Her eyes left Cal's and stared at the wall. "Again." Her smile left her face, her eyes fell to the floor and Cal could see the shame and sadness back in place. "Maybe." She said doubting herself. He could barely hear that last word that left her mouth and he hated to hear his best friend speak as if all hope was lost.
Silence fell between them and Cal stepped closer to her, then put his arms around her. She was thankful for the affection and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Gillian held on to him with so much emotion that tears started to stream down her cheeks and she buried her head in his chest.
"Shhh. Gill, don't cry. I didn't mean to tease you about something you enjoy doing." He whispered to her and kissed the top of her head.
"It's not that. It's just, I want to feel happy again you know? Carefree again. To be me, smiling every day. I don't know if I will truly be happy again, Cal." She pulled back and wiped her tears from her face. She let out a slight chuckle. "It sounds silly doesn't it?" She tilted her chin down and looked at the floor.
"No, Love, it doesn't." He cupped each side of her face with his hands and wiped away the last of her tears softly with his thumbs. "It will take some time, darlin', but you'll get there I promise. I'm not going to lie, it will be a hard road ahead, but I'll be with you at every turn, okay?"
He bent his head down so that she would bring her eyes from the floor to look at him. He gave her a comforting smile and she smiled back. There was still sadness in her beautiful smile, but Cal could see that glimmer of hope that was impossible to disappear from a woman as good as Gillian Foster. No, she hasn't drowned in her sorrow yet, there was still a chance, he still had time to bring his Gillian back from the seas of despair.
"Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Oi! There'll be none of that, now. No apologies, Love. You haven't done anything wrong. Yeah?" He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and placed it behind her ear.
"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Cal." She smiled and took in a deep breath then let it out.
She looked in his eyes then he slowly bent his head and softly placed a kiss at the corner of her mouth. The kiss landed more toward her full lips than her cheek and it lingered there seconds longer than ever before. Gillian closed her eyes when she felt his warm lips partially meeting hers. She put her arms around Cal and held him close.
All Cal could think about was her soft, fragrant body close to his. She ignited a fire in him that was unexplainable. Cal could easily lose himself in her and he wrapped his arms around her waste.
Gillian always felt that Cal empowered her when she was in his arms. She felt safe, like she could do anything. Seconds later he pulled back and while he still held her, he ran his fingers through her hair then brought her head toward his shoulder. He placed a chaste kiss near her ear and just held her. Gillian could feel his warm breath on the sensitive part of her neck just under her ear. Her whole body was engulfed with an electric current and in those few seconds she basked in the feeling that Cal was responsible for.
Suddenly they broke apart, both suppressing the passion that they had for each other and yet neither one knowing how the other feels.
"Now. Time for us to eat. Come on, then, in the kitchen." He caught her by the hand and lead her into the room.
They ate dinner and talked about some cases they had been working on. Cal updated Gillian on Emily's school work and her latest boyfriend. He steered away from any topic having to do with Alec and kept the conversation light and cheerful.
Cal insisted that Gillian go relax on the couch with a glass of wine, while he put the dishes away.
"Time for that massage." Cal said when he came near the couch. He was carrying two very large pillows and tossed them on the floor. "Lie down on the these cushions, Love."
"You're serious? I thought you were teasing about a massage?" Gillian looked up at him, her blue eyes gleamed at the idea of it.
"Come on, then, to the floor." He pointed in the direction of the pillows.
Gillian laid down and let her belly rest on the soft pillows that Cal had placed so perfectly. She sighed and let her body relax as she sunk into the soft plush. He sat on his knees on the floor beside her waist.
Cal started rubbing the back of her neck with light pressure, then he moved slowly to her shoulders, kneading the muscles. A quiet moan escaped Gillian's throat.
"Wow, that feels incredible, Cal. You're pretty good, compared to the massage therapist I've been to." She had her eyes closed enjoying the work of his strong hands on her tense shoulders.
"Your shoulders are very stiff, darlin'. Maybe I missed my calling as a masseur, yeah?" He grinned and bent down to catch a glance at her face and saw that her eyes were closed. "Relaxing a bit?"
"Yes, but it's really hard to get the full effect with a blouse on." She mumbled across the pillow.
Cal nervously cleared is throat. "I know that Em has some type of oil she uses now and then. When I take her to the mall she buys all of this beauty smelly stuff. With my money, I might add. She usually begs me to smell them. It seems as though my opinion is important on that kind of thing. If you are comfortable enough to let me rub your bare back I will." He was anxious to see how Gillian was going to react to that suggestion.
Gillian raised her head off the pillow and propped herself on her elbows. "Cal, we've known each other a long time and I trust you, so I don't see anything wrong with you rubbing my back with oil. It's no different then being on the beach really." She turned her head and looked over her shoulder at him.
"If you're okay with that, Love, than you get comfortable while I go find the oily stuff." Cal walked out of the room and down the hall. Sure, he could do this. Just a little back rub is all. Nothing more. 'I'll just rub her back for a bit and be done. I can do this.' Trying to reassure himself. Who was he kidding? He had watched Gillian at times in the office and wondered how it would feel to touch her soft skin in places hidden beneath her perfectly fitted dresses. A man would be senseless not to have some urge.
Gillian tucked her head down while propped on her elbows and took her hands to grab the back of her blouse and pull it up over the back of her head. She left the blouse to rest under her chin and partially down her arms. She left her bra on, but didn't really need to remove her blouse completely. 'This is innocent enough, he'll rub my back for a few minutes and he'll be done. No problem.' She was attempting to convince herself, but was failing miserably.
He had brought back some Macadamia Oil. He actually didn't know which one to choose, but he knew he didn't need any of that coconut-on-the-beach sun tan stuff. He took the cap off of the oil and took a little whiff of the contents in the bottle. He walked into the living room while trying to put the cap back on and almost stumbled over the area rug when he saw Gillian laying there with her back exposed showing a lavender colored bra. Cal corrected himself and stood still gazing at her.
"New feet, Cal?" She had turned and looked over her shoulder just in time to see him stumble. She couldn't stop the soft chuckle that escaped her. Jolting him out of his gaze.
"Seems so doesn't it? I've got what I think should do the job." He was smiling as he knelt down beside her.
"Let me see what you found." He held the bottle up so she could see it. "Oooo, that's some good stuff, Emily has good taste."
"Let's get started on working that tension out then, yeah?" He put a couple of drops of oil in the palm of his hand and rubbed his hands together. He then started rubbing her shoulders and her neck, then down across the upper part of her back above her bra line.
Cal slowly but gently kneaded and rubbed the tight muscles across Gillian's shoulders. 'Damn she feels good.' He thought while maintaining control of feelings stirring in him. He rubbed the back of her neck and moved slowly down her spine then across her shoulders. His fingers putt the right amount of pressure on the knots he could feel in her muscles. He was very much enjoying himself. He watched his own hands work over her back and his eyes shifted further down admiring her nicely toned figure.
"Mmmm." Gillian moaned. "This feels so nice, Cal." She closed her eyes and could feel her body going limp against his hands. . . his hands, his hands. "Oh God." Gillian's eyes sprang open. She didn't mean to let that slip from her mouth.
Cal felt her body tense quickly. "Alright, Love?" He stopped his artistic motions.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, you're hands feel great. I mean, I'm feeling more relaxed now." 'What the hell was that?' She asked herself. Gillian doesn't usually stutter or stammer her words. She almost became incoherent. "Please keep going a little longer."
"Right." He said smiling to himself. He realized that she was enjoying his hands, his movements. . . she was enjoying him. Cal was enjoying himself, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under his hands. And oh what he could do to her with his hands. Cal had so many ideas and fantasies running through his mind that he didn't notice they were over powering his rational thinking.
Cal picked up the bottle and put a few more drops of oil in his palm. He then began to rub the lower part of her back, below her bra strap. His breathing became heavier and he worked his fingers around her spine then to her waste line.
Gillian felt his hands go lower, the heat from his hands went straight through filling her body. She didn't notice that her hands were now gripping the cushion her head was resting on. She found herself craving for his touch, for him to touch every inch of her body. Her desire building strong, she could feel it in his hands the way they moved over her. Gillian could feel desire radiating from him. Her breathing became short, she couldn't stop her body from responding.
He worked his hands up and down her sides, skipping over her bra strap, bordering new territory. He was definitely aroused, he felt her body responding to his touch. He watched her as she clutched the corners of the cushion.
Barely able to speak she moaned his name in pleasure and plea. Gillian's body wanting more. Cal slowed the motions of his hands when he heard her moan. He didn't have to be a voice expert to hear the arousal in her voice. He brought himself back to reality, checked himself and with one last squeeze of her shoulders he pulled his hands away.
Gillian was disappointed in the removal of his hands from her back. She then realized how dangerously close she was coming to crossing that line.
"All better, Love?" He asked in a raspy voice.
Gillian let out a heavy sigh. "That was wonderful. Yes I do feel much better, thank you." She flipped her blouse back over her head and pulled it down while she sat up on her knees now at the same level as Cal.
Their eyes locked on each other. Gillian suddenly felt a rush of heat to her face. She couldn't help it, they were to close for her not to do it. She made the move, wrapping her arms around him, brushing her lips to his. He didn't pull away, he couldn't, he was held by her spell. Gillian backed away just enough to read him. She searched his eyes, his face then she looked at his lips. They were so inviting. She wanted to taste them. She licked her lips then parted them and took his in a long searing kiss. Her heart was pounding.
Cal wrapped his arms around her waist. The taste of her filled him, her warm soft body enticed him. Gillian's fingers ran through his hair, massaging his scalp and she pulled him closer. The kiss became passionate and burning. Her hunger became more intense, she needed this, needed him. She had lost all reasoning. Cal found himself wanting more, to feel more, to taste more. It was hard for him to believe he was kissing his best friend, the woman that he had been in love with all this time. He couldn't think straight she was taking and giving him, mind, body and soul.
Cal suddenly came to his senses. He pulled away from her, both breathing hard. He attempted to read her, he could see the love, the compassion and the desire in her eyes. He had to put a stop to it. She was emotionally confused with all that has happened to her and he didn't want to confuse her more. He wanted her and he loved her, there was no denying that, but not now, not like this. He'd be taking advantage of her, she was vulnerable right now and he was supposed to be helping her back on her feet not playing with her emotions. 'What a wanka you are.' He chastised himself.
"Gill, darlin'." He spoke softly still catching his breath. "We don't need to be doing this right now."
"Oh, Cal, I... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" Gillian was embarrassed.
"No, Gill. I don't want you to apologize. You and I have done nothing wrong. It's obvious now that we have feelings for each other. More than the love of two best friends, yeah. It's just poor timing on both of us. You just came out of a bad marriage, your divorce won't be granted for another few months and I don't want us moving along too quickly. So much that someone might regret doing something later down the road. Let's take it slow, wait it out. Wouldn't you agree?" His eyes never left her face, reading anything he could with every word he said.
"What am I doing? I think I'm...no I know I'm confused right now and this shouldn't have happened. I understand what you're saying, Cal and I agree with you. I just don't know what came over me. I needed to feel something, to want something. I needed to feel wanted by someone." She shook her head disbelieving herself. Wracking her brain for an explanation of what she had done and why she had done it.
Cal took her in his arms and sat back on the cushions then pulled her down into his lap. He held her rocking back and forth. She was so fragile, so beautiful and he wanted to give her everything he had, he wanted to protect her from everything that was bad.
"Look, Love, don't feel guilty and don't worry about any of this. I know some of what you're feeling, remember? Remember all of the drinking and the women after my divorce? Trying to get over Zoe, I wanted someone to want me, but you can't find it some seedy bar with one night stands. You were always there to get me back on my feet and you helped Em keep the house clean. You drug me away from the pubs. Please don't be embarrassed, I'm not. I quite enjoyed that wonderful kiss and I know you enjoyed it too. It felt good, you feel good and I want you so much. Well I'm here for you, you're just not the type to go drown in your despair at a bar picking up guys. You're too classy for that and you're too much of a lady to sink that low. So, I'll be here, I'll go through this with you, I'll ease your pain. I will not stand for you feeling guilty, okay?
Gillian raised up to look at him. "I don't know Cal, I need to gather my thoughts and I need to wait for my divorce to be final. I feel like I'm the one cheating now. I'm still married you know. I can't help but to feel embarrassed and guilty. I'm worried because I've got all of these emotions going on with me. I don't know where the craziness ends and the logic begins." She ran her fingers through her hair and moved to stand up.
Cal stopped her. "Gill, please don't take this too hard, what we did was normal, we're only humans and I will never say that this was a mistake." Gillian nodded her head and gave him a smile. He pulled her in and she tucked her head in the crook of his neck.
"You do kiss very well, you know" She said with a smile in her voice.
"And you are the best kisser I have ever had the pleasure of kissing." He kissed her on the top of her head and gave her one good squeeze.
"I think it's time we get some rest, morning will be here faster than we wish." She raised up and he followed.
"I'm ready for some sleep, I still feel relaxed and I think I'm going to sleep pretty good tonight." Gillian stood and stretched her body then yawned.
"Aye, aye. Well, off to bed then." He reached to pick up the cushions and she went toward what was temporarily her bedroom.
Gillian thought of the way Cal's lips felt on hers and how good the kiss was, before she drifted off to sleep.
Cal went straight to bed. Thinking that he was right in stopping the kiss before it went further, but wishing he hadn't. It takes a lot of energy for him to be a gentleman, but he is still a man. 'And this man wants Gillian for his own.' His last thought before sleep took over.
Authors note: I'm sure there are mistakes that I've missed, but I hope you have enjoyed this chapter as much as I have writing it. We all know it has to end somewhere so I hope the next chapter will be enjoyable for you also. I don't know if it will be the last chapter are not, but we don't have far to go. Thanks for reading and reviewing!