Pure hell. The next week was pure, scathing, burning, gut wrenching hell. The house was completely silent. It was like there was an invisible line down the middle of the living room, separating us from them, the good guys versus the bad guys. Edward and I sat in the living room watching television every now and then. Jasper and Emmett kept to themselves, barely managing a greeting when they walked in the door. Even Alice was distant. Not as PMS-y as Emmett and Jasper were being but she definitely wasn't her normal bubbly self. I was sure she was just following Jasper's lead. I don't think she had a problem with Edward and me. She sat in the chair next to Edward and me, staring blankly at the television. With a slight smile she stood up and sauntered down the hallway to Jasper's room.
"I guess we're the outcasts now huh?" I peeked down at Edward, who had his head lying lazily in my lap.
"I'm sorry...about them. You shouldn't have to deal with that," he whispered.
"Neither should you. If they have a problem then that's their problem, not ours."
"I know it just....sucks." He closed his eyes and started drifting off to sleep. I ran my fingers slowly over his cheeks and down his jaw line to rest on his chin. I bent down and gently placed a kiss on his lips before playing absentmindedly with his hair.
Emmett walked into the kitchen and placed his empty cereal bowl in the sink. He was eating in his bedroom now.
"Hi Emmett." I tried to smile his way, hoping his killer dimples would pop out in a smile.
"Bella," he said unenthusiastically, turning back and heading to his room.
An audible sigh escaped my lips. This is getting ridiculous. My fingers tapped loudly on the edge of the couch as I contemplated. Something had to be done. Something…drastic.
Edward stirred below me. I barely noticed him looking at me until he laughed; I was too deep in thought plotting out my plan of attack. Jasper needed reason and perceptive, Emmett needed….food.
"Bella you look absolutely absurd, what are you thinking about?" Edward gently pinched my chin and forced my eyes down.
"Oh. Nothing."
"Yeah right." He laughed as he got up off the couch. "I'm going to go take a shower." He walked slowly down to the bathroom scratching his head. This was it.
"Take your time babe. Ten, twenty minutes even." I sprinted towards the bathroom just as he was taking his shirt off. "Actually why don't you just take a bath."
"That's girly shit." He eyed the bathtub suspiciously.
"Just give it a try…" I said slowly as I started the bathwater. He sat on the edge of the tub and put his feet in. I reached for the bubble bath.
"No, no, no. None of that shit. I have to maintain some of my pride."
"Okay fine," I laughed. "Just relax."
He was still staring at the water when I left the room. It'd take him at least ten minutes to decide to actually get in, so that gave me some bonus time.
I couldn't hold in the smile as I ran to the kitchen. I was just too brilliant. I whipped up the quickest but tastiest looking sandwich I could manage and proceeded to slice it up into little pieces. With plate in hand, I tiptoed down the hallway, past Jasper's door and down to Emmett's. I started placing the pieces of sandwich at his door and down the hallway, Hansel and Gretel style all the way to Edward's door and just inside. I placed the rest of the sandwich on the desk inside Edward's room in full view from the door. By my estimate I should have about five minutes before Edward emerges from the bathroom, but I decided to check just in case.
I cracked the door open slowly and peeked my head in. I had to cover my mouth to hold in my laughter. He sat in the tub, facing sideways, playing with toy plastic ships. Actually playing.
I closed the door silently. "So much for maintaining his pride," I whispered to myself. He'll be at least fifteen more minutes. I watched TV. for ten minutes before I walked back down Emmett and Jasper's hallway. I pressed my ear against Emmett's door. Music was faintly playing in the background. Excellent. I knocked loudly and ran back into the living to hide behind the couch.
I heard the door creak open.
"What the fuck?" Emmett said. I could just see the confused look on his face. I started counting to myself. In 5…4…3…2… There he was. Walking slowly down the hallway, bending over every now and then to pick up another piece of sandwich and stuff it into his mouth. His movements became quicker and quicker as he crossed the living room and disappeared down our hallway. I crept to the corner and snuck a look around. Emmett was stopped in front of Edward's slightly cracked door licking his fingers. Then I knew he saw it. His eyes fixated on the sandwich inside of Edward's room. "Ed?" He called softly. His head swayed quickly from side to side to make sure no one was looking before he ran into Edward's room. Almost on cue Edward stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and walked into his room. I bolted from my hiding place, equipped with a cord I'd found in the junk drawer. My hand flew out and slammed the door shut just as Edward saw Emmett snacking on the sandwich. I wound the cord round and round the door handle quicker than I ever imagined I could and then once again around my door handle directly across, pulling it taut. One of them tried pulling Edward's door, but it wouldn't budge.
"What the hell is this Bella?" Edward pounded on his door.
"You guys won't talk? I'll make you. Have fun." I went back out in the living room and turned the TV. up to drown out the yelling and the pounding.
Jasper came bursting out of his room.
"What the hell is that?"
"What is what?"
"That noise."
"What noise?"
"That pounding." He started down the hallway.
"Jasper. You don't hear anything," I said persuasively. "Just go back to your room and relax."
He looked at Edward's door and back down to his. Back and forth. Back and forth. He didn't say another word as he sauntered back to his room and closed the door.
I waited. And waited. I waited through a whole show of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. At least the pounding had stopped before the first Daily Double. Hopefully the silence meant they were talking.
I heard a piece of paper slip under the door of Edward's room. We Surrender. Good boys.
"If you value your testicles you better not be lying to me."
"We value our testicles." They both said simultaneously.
I grabbed a pair of scissors and snapped the cord. Edward's door flew open as they both fell to the ground laughing. This was a good sign. I walked in and closed the door.
"Are we playing nice now children?"
"Yes ma'am," Emmett smiled widely.
"There's the dimples I've missed. Good. Now we just have to work on Jazz."
"Jazz will not be influenced by food like I am. No way. No. No. No." He crossed his arm and shook his head from side to side in a matter of fact kind of way.
Just then I heard the voice of an angel, of our savior in all of this, in the hallway singing the latest Britney tune.
I peeked my head out. Alice was starting down Jasper's hallway bobbing her head from side to side. I sprinted across the living, over the back of the couch and jumped across the chair, to grab her arm. "Alice I need you. For. For something. Come here." I dragged her to the other side and into Edward's room.
"What the hell is going on?" She asked.
"We're staging an intervention on Jasper. We need your help. He listens to you."
"Oh I don't know Bella."
"Alice. This house has made a cemetery look like a fun place to be lately. Aren't you a little sick of it?"
"It's driving me insane," she finally surrendered. "What do we do?"
"Jasper is a logical person. We just need to be reasonable."
"And maybe use force." Emmett added.
"How'd she get to you Emmett?"
"Food."
"Oh. Okay Bella what do you want me to do?"
We sat at the bar ten minutes later waiting for Alice and Jasper.
"It's a surprise Jasper. I can't tell you." Alice's voice echoed down the hallway.
He stopped when he reached the kitchen. "What is this?"
"Jasper this is an intervention. Would you like to take a seat?" I gestured to the empty chair. "We'd just like to have a little talk. We all have some things we would like to say to you."
He sat down in the chair and folded his hands in front of him, just like he had when we'd first met.
"Jazz we're worried," Emmett said.
"Jazz we love you," Edward added.
"We're not here to accuse or criticize, just to listen." I nodded to Alice.
"Right," Alice said. "My turn."
Jasper cleared his throat and turned to Alice, gesturing grandly and boredly for her to continue.
"Jasper. Honey. We both have known Edward for awhile, and honestly he was depressing with all his broody "I don't give a fuck" attitude."
Edward's eyes narrowed at her.
"Sorry Edward. It's true. You make Marilyn Manson look like rainbows and unicorns. Anyway. Jazz. Look at Edward. He's smiling, he's laughing, he's in love. Don't you get it." I smiled a little as she talked. "I've never seen him like this before. It's like Bella has turned his whole world around for the better. Do you really want him to go back to being a Debbie Downer? I don't think so. They're in love. It's complicated. Get over it. Move on. Mmkay? Let's go get ice cream." She grabbed his hand and they left the house, Jasper looking more puzzled than I've ever seen him.
"Well I think that went well," Emmett said.
"Yep. Okay I'm going to go for a run. I'll see you guys in a bit."
My run was very uneventful today. No creepy noises, no run ins with my psycho cop father. When I returned I was pleasantly surprised. Alice sure didn't look happy, but all three boys were sitting on the couch playing Xbox together. Behaving just how boys were supposed to behave.
"Come on Alice. I'll let you give me a makeover." I smiled in her direction. She perked up a little bit. I slung my arm around her shoulders as we walked back to my room. I was fully willing to sacrifice my face and scalp to Alice to give the boys some time alone. Because the laughter and jokes that filled the penthouse was like sweet music to my ears. It was like we were alive again. We were us again.