Oh how I want for things to go back the way they were with her telling me that she loves me accompanied with that beautiful blush on her radiant face. I wanted so bad to hear her voice, hear her call out my name… see her… see those deep beautiful brown eyes so caring and loving…


Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

That's right. I'm coming back. It won't be easy, god knows it's not. But I have to try. If I have to I'd beg her to take me back… whatever it takes!

Chapter 10: Great Expectations

I pulled out near our house, not really bothering to park in the garage. I was thinking of ditching hunting and going to Bella right away. No, that's it. Enough contemplating, I'm heading straight towards her!

So I did. I was… in a way, scared of what I might see. Would I find her okay? I hoped so.

Would she have moved on? I cringed at that. I was torn. What my superego (AN: the morality division of the unconscious according to Freud) was telling me was if I found that she has moved on, then I would be okay with that. This was my plan all along anyway. Her moving on was a good thing. A positive thing.

But then… my id (the pleasure seeking division of the unconscious according to Freud again) was telling me, No you don't you idiot. You want her for yourself, yours and yours alone. You love her. You want her. You need her.

So it was down to my ego (the mediator between the two divisions of the unconscious. The one who calls the shots. Freud still). Damn. I'm so…argh… I've turned to psychology!

Will she… take me back… after the wretched thing I've done?

I could still remember the last time I saw her. She was broken up, I hated myself with passion. But the worst part was seeing her believe all the bull I told her, that I didn't want her anymore… on my first try at that. I thought that I would have to lie all day and night just to plant some doubt on her mind but she believed me…



I almost abandoned my plan and told her all that I said were nothing but lies.

I would never forgive myself for what I did.

I love Bella… I always have.

Now I'm here… outside her window… feeling nervous but excited to just feel her presence. The proximity was clearly evident right now.

I peered through her window. It was open! I felt a tug of hope. Did she leave it open for me? Had she waited all this time for me?

Oh Bella! Hope clung to every inch of my being. I felt so relieved and ecstatic.

I saw her curled up on her bed, reading her battered copy of Wuthering Heights. Quoting from Heathcliff, I cannot live without my love, I cannot live without my life!

I stealthily climbed in, bracing myself for whatever wrath I might endure but I could not help but smile. I've gone so long without seeing her and now that I could make out her every feature… her small fragile body… her smooth snowy skin… her luscious dark brown locks… her deep hazel eyes… pink soft full lips…

I stood still as I felt her notice me. I saw the tips of her lips quirk upward. She was smiling. I grinned like an idiot. But she never looked up from her book. I could feel the rush of blood on her cheeks. She felt happy and relieved as well, I could not believe this!

I stood rooted there with a crooked smile on my lips but though my eyes were lit up with joy, they were still tinged with nervousness. I didn't know how to start.

Then I watched her straighten up then hopped off from her bed, her back still to me, and then I heard her lovely voice that was so unexpectedly cheerful.

"Glad you're back." She said. I grinned even wider. She did wait!

"Sure took your sweet t-…" she turned to me and gasped. Shocked and something I could not fathom registered on her face as she trailed off on the last word, "time…"

Her expression confused me. She was genuinely surprised and was that… disappointment? Like it wasn't me she was expecting. But I let that slide. No, that was impossible. I was the only one, as I recall who came and gone in and out of her window at this time. So I grinned at her lopsidedly instead.

"Yes. Yes, I am back. Hello…Bella." I said softly. She looked at me… puzzled… worried…

"Edward?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper, almost in disbelief.

I closed the gap between us and took her into my arms.

"Yes… yes it's me… I'm here. I'm sorry it took me a long time, love. I'm such a fool to even think of leaving. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…" I pleaded while stroking her hair and inhaling her scent. It was 

still the same sweet smell yet… strangely different, I wondered how that came to be but I pushed all that away right now. I was just so happy to hold her in my arms again. I didn't care to take in the smallest details.

Yet… I could feel her hesitation. That was expected, I suppose. I left her with the biggest lie in the world then came back just like that. Then she slowly… put an arm around my back…pausing once… then finally resting there lightly.

"I love you… I always have… always will… I'm here and I won't leave again if you take me back… it was only a matter of time that I contemplated coming back, begging for you to take me back… please believe me. I only left to give you a chance at living a normal human life but I lied when I said that I didn't want you anymore. That was the blackest lie I ever had to say. It pained me to see you believe all the things I said after all the times I said that I loved you. I loathe myself for ever saying that I didn't want you. Of course I want you, silly Bella. You are my life. I cannot imagine a world without you…I cannot imagine an eternity without you… I love you…so much…"

She didn't say anything but she started to cry, not just cry, but plainly burst into tears, her body rocking to her trembling. I pulled out from our embrace to look at her face. I wiped the tears and massaged her cheek gently. She was sobbing really hard. I didn't know what to think. She wouldn't even look at me.

I lifted her chin gently and made her look at me. "Please look at me. Don't cry, I'm here now and I'm truly sorry, but I'm here… I won't leave ever again…"

She looked at me with sad confused eyes. It was still killing me not knowing what she's thinking. But I wanted to kill myself anyways for ever making Bella cry and go through all this. She doesn't deserve all this.

But right now I just missed her so much… so I did what I craved for all these months of being stuck in a hell hole of pain… without warning I kissed her.

I kissed her again and again. Earnestly… more enthusiastic than I ever allowed myself to go holding her tighter even as I felt tears running down her face like a dam broken...

But a movement from outside broke me from my kiss. My head snapped to the direction of Bella's window but ended up shocked and then doubly shocked with Bella's reaction.

She jerked up and looked frantically over my shoulder, tip toeing, then her eyes widened and her mouth hung. And it all made sense to me why she was acting so perplexed and hesitant.

Her scent, her bedroom's scent… the unexpected greeting… all pointed to that one exclamation that escaped her lips… one that I did not ever expect to hear… it all dawned upon me and all I could do was stand frozen with my expression a mirror image of Bella's, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hung….

Bella pushed past me and ran towards her window and cried,

"Jasper!"

AN: Yup. Edward's back. And Yup, it was Edward who was driving in the previous chapter and he's the one talking here as well.

Poor Edward, he was feeling so hopeful that he misunderstood all the warning signs.

Poor Bella, now she will have to face making an inevitable choice.

Poor Jasper, he saw the reunion.

Gosh, I'm such a sadist. (",)

Polls still up, btw.

Sorry for the cliffhanger. Send some love and I'll update sooner. Tell me what do you think will happen. I need to know how you want me to take this. Thanks for reading!

P.S. A friend of mine asked where my disclaimer was. It's on the first chapter. It's understood for the rest of the story that it follows. So there. Stephenie Mayer owns Twilight. I'm not claiming anything.

Time to answer some comments:

regan94: Thanks for liking my song choices. This started with a song so it's bound to have more songs here. I can't write without music. (",)

greenbeansporks: I know exactly what you mean. But I don't want to portray anyone as a bad guy here in my story, that's why Edward is still the loving Edward here. I'm still torn on who I want Bella to end up with.

xoxErinxxx: Emmett and Bella story? Hmmm... I'll get back to you on that...

twilightdaydream: I'll update daily if I can help it. So far, everything's going smoothly, people might get their wish.

my-edward-1992: Edward and Alice? Um... Jasper said in my oneshot (Say All I Need) that there is someone looking for her... as for Edward...

Everyone else: I see some are converting over back to "Edward and Bella forever" mode. Maybe I should put Jacob here... just a thought... Ha-ha. Wait until you read the next chapter...

KFYI,

Margaux