Chapter Ten: A Dinner That Costs
Authors Note: Sorry it's been a while! I've been really sick, but now that I'm feeling better I should be back to uploading. I know I say that all the time, but I am seriously determined to finish this story! I hope you guys are still interesting in reading it. And if you are thank you so much for sticking with me and my neglectful absences! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far.
I feel like ladybugsmomma and xxhiphuggersxx and Tempe4Booth deserve special shootouts for all their repeat reviews. I love hearing from you guys about each chapter (if I forgot anyone who continuously reviews my sincere apologies and shoot me a message & I'll fix it next chapter). But I greatly appreciate anyone and everyone who has reviewed, even if it has only been once! Also DD Agent Wow thank you so much! That review totally made my day when I read it & I'm sorry you had to wait such a long while.
Anyway thanks to everyone, keep the reviews coming, I'll have the next chap up soon (serious promise I swear…already have half of it written!) and Enjoy!
March 2006
"Are you ready for another tale about the Kingdom of NCIS?" Jenny asked scooting her daughter over a bit so she could sit on the edge of the girl's bed. It had become a sort of bedtime ritual for the two and Jenny was rather impressed with herself for having come up with the idea.
"Yea!" Emily cried excitedly. So much for trying to get her to relax and go to sleep.
"Okay, but I need you to remind me where we left off in the story."
Concentrating hard, Emily's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to recall. Her eyes lit up shortly afterwards, clearly proud of herself for remembering the last thing she heard before falling asleep the previous night. "The dragon had gotten to Fair Maiden Kate and King Morrow turned the Kingdom over to you…I mean former Princess, now Queen Shepard who was just about to be reunited with the brave and strong Knight Gibbs."
"Ah…the big moment," laughed Jenny. If Emily only knew how big the real event had been for her. "Alright so… The brave Knight Gibbs stood shocked that the King would ever consider turning the Kingdom of NCIS over to anyone.
Who will be taking over the crown, sir? Knight Gibbs asked. King Morrow, who knew that Knight Gibbs and Princess Shepard had been…" Jenny paused for a moment trying to decide how best to describe this. Emily still believed Gibbs to be a different person than her father and Jenny was unsure how she would react to hear Queen Shepard had a romantic past with Knight Gibbs. So instead she opted for, "acquainted in the past smirked ever so slightly, as to not give anything away before giving Queen Shepard permission to reveal herself. When she turned around to face him, everything suddenly came flooding back to her and she could see in his eyes that he was reliving their past as well. For years they were one another's partner, hunting down the most fearsome beasts in the land, but all that was before he discovered who she truly was – a princess, royalty, destined for higher places. So there she stood before him now queen of the kingdom…"
"Mommy?" Emily's sleepy voice piped up.
"Yes, baby?" Jenny asked, happy that her daughter seemed to be on the verge of sleep. Talking about reuniting with Jethro after six years was proving to still be emotional, even after months had gone by.
"You love Agent Gibbs, don't you?" Emily asked, shocking Jenny.
"What…what gives you that idea, sweetheart?" Jenny managed to squeak out, still surprised at her daughters question.
"You talk about him like you do," she said simply.
"Emily, I…" Jenny started to explain, worried Emily might be upset, but the girl interrupted.
"It's okay if you do, Mommy. Ziva talks about him a lot. He seems like he would be a good for you."
"But your father…"
"Would be here if he wanted to be," she said yawning, before rolling over. Jenny watched the girl's breathing even out into a peaceful sleep. Jenny sat there for a long while watching her daughter sleep. Even after all this time, she was still amazed by her daughter's ability to take the most complicated of scenarios and make them seem so simple. Jethro could have come after her…should have if she was truly special to him. But he didn't.
If only it could really be as simple as that. If only that meant she could stop loving him. If only that meant she didn't feel need to throw caution to the wind and run after him every time he wound up in a little bit of trouble. A situation she found herself in the very next day when Gibbs decided it would be a grand idea to become the hostage of a fifteen year old kid wearing a bomb.
Pulling open her desk drawer she grabbed her service weapon and it was an almost surreal moment when she realized the only time she ever used this gun these days was with Gibbs. She knew she shouldn't be going down to that school. As Director her job was to trust her agents to see the mission through, trust that they know what they're doing. Her job was no longer to go down and take control of an operation. But this was Gibbs, her old partner, her ex-lover, the father of her child, the man to this day she still loved! She could not just sit here and do nothing.
Only she was reminded that a Director never has a few seconds to herself, let alone a whole day to go supervise a hostage situation, when there was a knock at her door and Cynthia announced, "Director Shepard, Dr. Mallard's here to see you."
Quickly strapping her weapon to her back, she sighed and ordered, "Send him in, Cynthia." Ducky was Gibbs' friend too. It was likely he was just as uncomfortable sitting around doing nothing as she was.
"Anything new?" he asked anxiously.
"I just got off the phone with DiNozzo. Still no contact." God once they got Gibbs safely out of harm's way, she was going to kill him!
"What exactly happened?" Ducky asked, picking up on her pissed off tone.
"Jethro happened, Ducky," she explained, as if it should be obvious. Only Jethro would be stupid enough to get himself into a situation like this. "He went in to deliver a girl's inhaler and got invited to stay."
"Yes, but how could he…" he started to ask before the light bulb went on in his head. "Of course. He probably planned the whole thing."
"Jethro doesn't plan, Ducky. He follows his damn gut!" And, while she used to trust and believe in his instincts, that gut seemed to get him into more trouble than he was worth these days.
"Well, it usually serves him well."
"It also gets him into trouble." She wished she still had that unwavering faith in Jethro that she used to and that Ducky obviously still seemed to have, but she lost that faith somewhere between leaving him in Paris and becoming the person responsible for his actions. It also didn't help that Emily's observations kept ringing in her head over and over. He'd be here if he wanted to be. God love was so complicated! Yet now was most certainly not the time to be thinking about that!
"You would only be a hindrance down there," Ducky pointed out, drawing her out of her internal debate. How could he possibly know she'd been planning to go?
"What makes you think…?"
"You're wearing your sidearm," he stated as if it were obvious.
Okay, so apparently it was obvious. But how could he think she could stay here while Gibbs could be blown up at any second! "Gibbs was my partner, Ducky. For a long time. I cannot just sit by here and do nothing," she explained, knowing that he would understand that by partner she was not talking about NCIS but about the more personal bond the two shared.
"Well, of course not. Nobody expects you to do nothing."
She stared at him for a long time, trying to determine if she could do it. Could she still love Gibbs all while being a good Director and doing her job? Originally she believed she couldn't, kept using Emily as an excuse to keep him at arm's length, but she realized now that if she ever wanted things to work out between them, she had to try. Had to find a way to balance the two. Reaching around behind her, she pulled off her sidearm, deciding to stay. "Cynthia?" she called out to her assistant.
And in an instant Cynthia was at her door. "I want a direct feed into DiNozzo's command post, ASAP," she instructed. If she had to stay here, she would at least insure she knew everything that was going on.
"Yes, Director." Cynthia agreed, before hurrying off to set everything up.
"That is a good decision, Director," Ducky told her, but she had a hard time believing him when every fiber in her being was screaming at her to go down to that school and save the man she loved.
"I'll believe that when the situation is defused."
"Right," he nodded, understanding how difficult this decision was for her. "But until then I may have something to brighten your spirits," he said moving towards the door and checking to make sure Cynthia was otherwise occupied.
He disappeared for a few moments confusing Jenny, but when he returned holding hands with a familiar face, she suddenly understood. "Mommy!" Emily cried, running up and throwing her arms around Jenny.
"Hey, sweetheart!" Jenny said smiling for the first time all day, as she wrapped her hands around her daughter. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you, but shouldn't you be in school?" Jenny asked, hoping to God she hadn't forgotten to pick the girl up on a half day or anything.
"Ah, I can answer that, Jennifer, dear," Ducky said stepping in. "The school called me. I believe they tried to get through to you, but with your line ringing off the hook all day, I assume their call probably got lost in the chaos. A number of schools in the area decided to send their students home due to the current threat."
That seemed a tad overly cautious to Jenny. After all the blast radius would hardly be that large, but she was hardly going to complain about having extra time with her daughter. "Well then, it looks like you and I will have an extra pair of hands to help us out today, Ducky," Jenny said, taking her daughters hand and setting her up on the couch.
"I am always thrilled to have an extra set of eyes and ears, especially from someone so intelligent," he said, smiling over at Emily, who blushed ever so slightly as she fished through her backpack for her book. "What are you reading, my dear?" Ducky asked, impressed at the rather large chapter book she pulled out.
"Harry Potter!" she cried excitedly.
"You wouldn't believe it, Ducky. I only bought her the first one last week and she's already on the third book," Jenny said, pride laced in her voice.
"My, my…that is impressive," Ducky commented, just before Cynthia hollered into the room that she had DiNozzo on the line. Emily continued to impress both of them, by opening her book as Cynthia's voice filled the room, recognizing her mother needed to return to work.
Only problem was DiNozzo's update did nothing to put her at ease or make her feel as if she made the correct decision. "He wants his dead mother brought to the classroom?" she exclaimed. Surely she must have heard him wrong.
"He won't accept she's dead. Thinks he saw her recently." Great so she wasn't just dealing with a disturbed student but a mentally unstable one.
"It's not an unusual fantasy in grief," Ducky clarified, sensing her fear for Jethro's safety rising, as her eyes drifted back towards the drawer with her service weapon.
While it may be common, she still couldn't meet his demands, leaving all those children and Jethro in even more danger. "That is an impossible demand," she pointed up.
"I know, Director. I'm working on it," DiNozzo assured her, with annoyance in his voice that she thought only Gibbs would show her.
"Define working on it, Agent DiNozzo?" she pushed, not liking his tone. While Gibbs often pushed her around, she would not let other agents believe that they could also make a habit of dismissing her authority. Gibbs had once been her boss and even though she was now his, it was a difficult relationship switch for the both of them, but the others did not have that excuse.
"SRT's in place, working on getting visual access into the room and a way to contact Gibbs."
"And?" she pressed, anxious for some good news. So far it seemed like nothing had been accomplished and with each minute that passed was one less minute those kids and Gibbs didn't have.
"And we're just getting started."
"What's your deadline?" She hoped to God it wasn't anytime soon.
"Sundown. About five hours," he told her. And while it wasn't spectacular news, it did give her some relief that they still had time. Still not long enough considering they had no idea what the bomb was or how powerful it would be. So she had no option but to ask Tony the one thing she absolutely hated to ask, especially with her daughter in the room. Whether he was capable of ordering the snipers to take the shot should the opportunity arise?
"I've done it before," was his response but she could tell that he was hesitant. And who wouldn't be? After all this was a boy who simply missed his mother. Only problem was he endangered a lot of people's lives in the hopes that she wasn't dead.
However when she tried to tell him that he had to be absolutely sure he could make the call without any hesitation, he got more than a little pissed off. "Okay, if you don't trust me, I suggest you relieve me. Otherwise, leave me alone. I've got work to do, ma'am," he bellowed before hanging up on her.
She stared at the phone horrified that someone other than Gibbs had the audacity speak to her like that, let alone hang up on her. The only difference was Gibbs wouldn't have bothered to call her ma'am. Hanging up the phone and putting her glasses on angrily, she huffed into her desk chair, commenting to Ducky, "Gibbs has rubbed off on him."
"Well, that's a positive thing." Positive? Did he miss the way DiNozzo was talking to her?
"He isn't Gibbs, Ducky," she said, trying to make him see that only Gibbs could get away with it.
"No, but he's very capable," Ducky said, indicating she should trust him to get the job done, just as she always trusted Jethro to do so. After all Gibbs wouldn't put his faith in just any old agent.
"I don't think Kody is crazy," a small voice interrupted, but when Jenny and Ducky glanced over at Emily she looked as if she was still intent in reading her book. However, Jenny knew better. Sure enough after she realized she was caught, Emily put her book down and continued. "I would wear a bomb if it meant getting you back, Mommy, but I wouldn't put other kids in danger."
Jenny stood there speechless, somewhere between trying to process the fact that her daughter would strap a bomb on herself just to see her again and trying to figure out how this related to Kody's situation. And then suddenly it dawned on her exactly what point Emily was making. Her eyes lit up at the realization and, while she tried to contain herself, she couldn't help but exclaim, "Emily! You…are…a…genius!"
"So they tell me," she shrugged, before returning her attention back to her book, looking quite pleased with herself.
"Oh, and Emily?" Jenny said typing away on her computer.
"Yes, Mommy?"
"While I appreciate the sentiment and how it relates this case…don't you ever dare strap a bomb to yourself," she ordered sternly, yet lovingly.
"Yes, ma'am," she agreed, head still in her book, but Jenny could tell by her tone that she understood.
Seeing as Ducky was looking back and forth between the two, obviously confused at the realization they had come to, Jenny finished pulling up the article on Kody's mother's death and put it up on the plasma. "The boy's mother?" he questioned.
"Yes," she told him before clicking the intercom on her phone. "Cynthia?"
"Ma'am?" her assistant questioned.
"I need the NCIS case file on the drowning of Marine dependent Angela Meyers," she ordered, glancing over to see a small smirk weave its way onto Emily's face from behind her book. Sneaky little devil…how did she get so good at multi-tasking?
"What are you up to?" Ducky questioned, still glancing between the two, trying to figure them out.
"The boy wants his mother," she told him simply. "We may have to give her to him."
"What is that you two have cooked up here?" Ducky finally broke down and asked.
"Like Emily said, while she would wear the bomb, she wouldn't put other people in harm's way. Therefore…"
"It might not be Kody's idea," Emily finished for her.
Ducky glanced at Jenny and then back to Emily before breaking out in a smile. "That, my dear, is absolutely brilliant."
"Not completely, Ducky," Emily sighed, confusing Jenny. Moments ago the girl had been confident in her decision.
"Why is that, sweetheart?"
"Because that doesn't mean his mom isn't dead," she pointed out sadly and Jenny's stomach twisted in knots. She'd overlooked that particular detail and the realization was not helping her prevent herself from rushing down to that school.
Though as it turned out, her seven year old future NCIS agent's gut instinct had been right on the money. God she was her father's daughter even if she didn't know it and because of that a mother was reunited with her husband and son, putting a family back together. Not too shabby for her first "case" and the fact that she was only seven.
April 2006
Things with Jethro were still as complicated as ever. While they hardly hated each other and had bonded a little bit more since her mother's visit, the tension from their past and from the cases involving Tony and McGee still hung over their heads. So when Jethro and his team caught a triple homicide of three gang bangers and their prime suspect was a Marine, Jenny knew they were in for a bumpy ride. And it got that much bumpier when the Marine's unit wasn't allowed to return as scheduled from Iraq until Gibbs' case was closed.
To put off any potential problems, she'd taken to hiding out in MTAC watching over various missions in progress, until Jethro took it upon himself to find her and plop down into the seat next to her. "Jethro," she greeted.
"Three bodies found with First Sergeant Downing…" he dove right into business, skipping over any pleasantries.
"Were killed with his personal weapon. I heard," she finished for him. That much she already knew and she was anxious to see if he was actually willing here to provide her with updates on his case. She passed him the case file she was holding, knowing he probably would not like what it said anymore than she did.
She tired her hardest not to laugh as he squinted and held the file at arm's length. "Where are your glasses?" she asked, smirking. She still did not understand why he simply didn't wear them.
"I forgot them." 'Sure he did!' she thought to herself, while passing him her own glasses. She had to bit her tongue to keep her from making a crack about what he looked like wearing pink rhinestone glasses. She couldn't even get Emily to try on similar ones. Instead the girl insisted on plain black ones. Just another similarity between those two. She knew it was selfish, but with all the two had in common she was somewhat glad Emily didn't know her father just yet. It was already completely obvious Emily was her Daddy's girl.
If Jethro had been in Emily's life, Jenny knew she would have never gotten to spend any time with the girl, let alone have the close nit relationship that they did. It was horrible to feel that way she knew, but Emily was her little girl and while she hated to admit it she was a tad jealous of the thought that Jethro may take her daughter's admiration away if they were to ever meet.
Jethro's angry expression at the ruling that Sergeant Downing committed murder for the revenge before being killed himself, while subtle, was still enough to drag her back to the present and the fact that she had work to do. "I don't like what it says either," she told him.
"First Sergeants don't go looking for this kind of payback."
She wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that there was no way a Marine would go and commit triple homicide for revenge, but she knew what Jethro was saying wasn't necessarily true. As awful as it sound, she would go to those lengths for Emily. Cairo had proved that. She would probably do the same if anyone were to harm Jethro. Not to mention, he would as well. And she knew that one for a fact because he told her so, back when they trusted one another with that kind of information. And that's exactly what she told him, 'You would."
"I was only a gunny," he told her and she wondered if perhaps he'd forgotten that conversation they'd had after making love one night. It was always in that pure bliss aftermath moments of love making when they were the most openly honest with one another. Jethro would brush a stray hair out of her face, she would prop herself on her elbow, shifting closer to him allowing him to run his hand down her back. He would tell her how beautiful she was and then they would talk…actually talk. Not about work, their assignments, or how very very wrong this affair was. They would really talk and more importantly Jethro would talk. Usually Jenny did most of the talking on stakeouts, at dinner, walking down the streets of whatever city they were working in. Jethro preferred actions more than words, but in these short moments Jethro would open up and she always treasured that.
Perhaps he did that with all of his ex-wives and girlfriends. She always believed that it was because she was different or special that he considered opening up to her, but what if she'd been naive. What if the reason he wasn't acting like he remembered the conversation in the reverent way she remembered it was because he simply had it with everyone he had sex with?
She stopped herself short there as if slamming the breaks in a car. She was not going to think about that! She needed to focus on the case. "The Marine Corp is worried his company is gonna come back from Iraq and look for revenge," she explained to him, trying her hardest to focus back on work and contain her composure so he wouldn't know where her thoughts had drifted to. "It could be a bloodbath."
He was quiet and she could sense her thoughts drifting back towards that night and whether it meant anything to him. To distract herself, she grabbed his coffee out of the cup and downed a sip like it was alcohol and it certainly burned like alcohol! Her face scrunched up at the retched taste and she felt like puking. "How do you drink that swill?"
Ignoring her insult to his coffee, he asked, "How much time do I have?"
"They were to return this week," she told him, hoping to avoid having to tell him this.
"Were?" he questioned, as she knew he would.
"Their rotation's been held up till your investigation's over." And she watched the outraged cross his face at the thought that they were making these Marines wait to come home to their families because of this. She hated the idea too. "They're still in a war zone instead of with their families, Jethro. I don't care if First Sergeant Downing killed those gang-bangers. If he didn't, find out who did. If he did, close the case."
"You're wrong, Jenny," he told her standing up, confusing her. Did he figure out she was doubting whether their private conversations were special to him? But instead of mentioning anything along those lines he told her, "You do care," he said, knowing she did care and would be disappointed if the Downing committed murder. And damn him, he was right…as always.
The thought of Jethro having those private, intimate moments with just any old redheaded woman nagged at her and nagged at her all throughout her day of supervising MTAC missions. Thankfully supervising them hardly required any brain activity unless of course something went wrong. Luckily all the missions functioned smoothly. Unfortunately, that meant she had plenty of time to overanalyze every blissful moment she spent with Gibbs. Only every time she started lustfully remembering one an image of Diane or Stephanie would show up, tainting the memory.
Hoping to drag herself away from this ridiculous thought process, she took a stroll over to the convenient store down the street and picked up a Caf-Pow. A visit with Abby was always a sure way to distract herself and lift up her mood. She and the young goth's relationship was building smoothly ever since their little heart to heart back around Thanksgiving. Apparently calling Abby the best forensic scientist in the world went a long way with the girl.
Strolling into Abby's lab, she was greeted by the screaming of death metal music blasting at top volume. Typical Abby. Turning the music down to a normal level, knowing Abby disliked when people turned it completely off, alerted Abby to her presence. "Director!" she greeted happily, before correcting herself, "I mean Jenny." Jenny permitted Abby, like Ziva, to call her Jenny when they were alone.
"Hello, Abby," Jenny greeted in kind, passing Abby the Caf-Pow. "I picked this up for you."
"Thank you, Jenny," she said and if it were possible she perked up even more. "So what brings you to my humble lair?"
"Needed a distraction. Thought perhaps helping you with some of the evidence from the Downing case might provide one."
Abby's smile faltered slightly and Jenny knew exactly what was bothering her. If Gibbs caught her telling Jenny anything about the case, he would be furious. He'd gone back to his you should have stayed a field agent if you wanted to know these things mode. "Don't worry, I promise to take the fall if…" she started to reassure the girl, but her cell phone started beeping. Glancing at the collar ID, she saw that it was Emily and realized it must be 3:30. Emily called her every day when she got home from school. "I have to take this, Abby. If you'll excuse me for a second."
"Of course, you can use the other part of the lab if you like. I'll prepare some stuff for us to go analyze and you can tell me what's got your mind running on high speed. It might even be fun trying to pull the wool over El Jefe's eyes."
Once in the safety of the office portion of Abby's lab, Jenny answered her phone, thrilled to hear her daughter's voice on the other end. "Hey, baby girl."
"Hi Mommy!"
"How was school, sweetheart?" she asked. Perhaps she wouldn't need to bother Abby for a distraction. Emily would undoubtedly cheer her up.
"It was good. We're going on a whale watch for our field trip. You have to sign the permission slip when I get home," Emily told her excitedly. Jenny smiled. Emily's latest craze was marine life. You could ask her anything and everything about whales, sharks, dolphins, etc. and she had the answer. A whale watch would be the perfect field trip for Emily.
"A whale watch? That's wonderful, baby. Are they…" she started, faltering when she saw the elevator doors opening, revealing Gibbs. Here she was talking on the phone with his daughter and he was walking into the lab. God this secret was getting harder and harder to keep. "Are they looking for chaperones?" she finished, so Emily wouldn't suspect anything.
"Yes. Would you really come?" the girl asked excitedly and it was just another blow to her chest. This secret was to protect her daughter from events like Cairo, but was it harming her more than it was helping her? After all, Emily was sounding surprised to hear her mother considering coming on her field trip. It made her all the more determined to do so.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby. We'll talk about it when I get home and I'll insure I get the day off, but right now I have to go," she said quickly, noticing Gibbs had gotten to Abby and was probably giving the poor goth a hard time for letting Jenny in the lab.
"Okay! I love you, Mommy!"
"Love you too, baby girl," she said before hanging up, knowing she now needed to help out more at Emily's school in order to show Emily she cared more about her than her job, all while trying to maintain a low profile to keep people from connecting her and Emily putting the girl in danger. And here she thought becoming Director would make things easier for the two of them.
She walked back into Abby's lab just in time to see Jethro switch his Caf-Pow with the one Jenny had giving Abby and then throw Jenny's in the trash. He was so childish at times. "Oh that's mature," she laughed, insuring to sound amused, knowing it would aggravate him that he wasn't aggravating her with his antics.
"You have something for me?" he asked, Abby annoyed and Jenny smiled, knowing she'd succeeded.
"As a matter a fact I do," Abby said, leading the two of them back to where Jenny came from.
"You looking over my shoulder again," Jethro finally broke down and asked her, stopping short.
Turning to face him, not even hesitating over the fact that there were barely centimeters between them and she could feel his breath tickle her face. This was just like old times. Hiding their flirtations behind work related topics. "Why? You feel a little crowded?" she asked with a knowing smile.
"Yeah, a little," he said, apparently taking notice of their close proximity. Smiling at the discomfort on his face, an expression she recognized as the one he used to wear when he was restraining himself with great difficulty to not push her against the nearest wall and take her right there, she took a step backwards to give him some breathing room. After all, while she liked that she could still extract that sort of reaction out of the room, they were certainly not going rip each other's clothes off and fuck on a lab table….at least not with Abby present in the room.
"How's that?"she flirted. Just because they had to remain civilized didn't mean the moment needed to end.
"Better," he nodded, thankfully, smiling at her. She smiled back at him and for a moment they got lost in each other's eyes as if it were seven years ago. That is until Abby interrupted, coming out of the other room with her update on the bullets involved in the murder investigation, completely oblivious to what had just transpired between her two bosses. And just like that everything went back to normal and the case took over, their silent 'I want to make love to you again' conversation that would become just another distant, never-spoken-about-again memory for Jenny to add to her already spinning thoughts.
And if that weren't enough to keep her drowning in ripped off he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not flower petals, the following evening, the one night a week she and Emily allowed herself to work late, her door flung open and she knew exactly who that would be. Only when she looked up, she felt an eerie sense of déjà-vu when she saw him carrying a large bag with him.
He'd only ever brought her dinner once before and that had been when a particular case was getting to him. He always needed to have the answer. Nothing could go unfinished. It was one of the many things she loved about him. But it also meant this dinner was unlikely a social call or a continuation of what occur yesterday in Abby's lab. "Uh-oh. What is this meal gonna cost me this time?" she joked, hoping to at least keep the conversation light.
"Didn't cost you anything last time."
"You mean aside from the thousands of extra calories I didn't need?"
"I can leave," he told her and while he looked serious, he could tell he was trying his hardest to hide a smirk.
"I didn't say that," she assured him, desperately wanting to add that she would never say that and would never want him to leave. Instead she glanced over to see what kind of food he brought her this time. "Salvadorian food?" That was an interesting choice for him, certainly not any of his top picks. "How fired."
Rolling his eyes, he started to stand up as if to leave and she couldn't help but break out in laughter. "Okay. Sit. I'm sorry," she laughed, as he returned to his seat and she sat herself down too. Tossing her heels off to the side, she greatly accepted the beer he offered her before starting with the small talk on the case, knowing it was his reason for being here. "Another Marine was injured in Captain Arvidas' group."
"I know." Of course he did, but it was the only place she knew where to start. She could tell this case was really bothering him. To lighten the mood, she tapped the tip of her beer against his sitting on the table, but she received nothing more than a nod and a small smile for her efforts. So instead she went back to the case, "I heard you found the man responsible for First Sergeant Downing's death."
"His name is Cesar Bernal."
"Can you make a case?" If he knew who committed the murder and the case was still bugging him enough to come bring her dinner and pick her brain, she knew he must have a serious lack of evidence problem. And the solemn glance over to her and shake of his head, she knew exactly why he was here. He had a man responsible for a quadruple homicide and no way to put him behind bars. "I knew this meal was going to cost me. Okay, what do you have so far?" She asked with an optimistic tone to her voice, hoping it would raise his spirits. The two of them could figure this out…together.
"Cesar is making a power play for control of his crew. He's been faking orders from Miguel Sosa to the rest of the L.M.V. for the last four months."
"And Sousa?" she questioned, though she already knew the answer. There was no way the leader of a gang would allow a lower member of his crew to get away with something like that. If Cesar was alive, Sosa was dead.
"He's dead. It's the only way Cesar could have gotten away with it," Jethro confirmed, reiterating her own conclusion. Okay, so they were on the same page with this and back when they were partners, if they were on the same page, they could get themselves out of any problem or confrontation. So they could most certainly figure this one out.
And if Cesar's focus was on becoming the leader of his crew that could only mean one thing. "So First Sergeant Downing wasn't the target. He was Cesar's lure. The real targets were the three L.M.V. lieutenants," she concluded. "Cesar was taking out the leadership!" Gibbs nodded his agreement, but his mood certainly didn't perk up, which could only mean one thing…what she originally suspected. Lack of evidence. "Do you have any physical evidence?"
"Nothing linking Cesar to the crime scene," he said confirming her suspicions.
"Jethro, you're gonna need more than motive to get a jury conviction," she said, before feeling stupid that she just pointed out the obvious. Man this really was like old times when she was a probie.
Gibbs was quiet for a long while and Jenny was almost shocked he didn't call her out on her rather dumb statement. Eventually he said, "Depends on the Jury."
She stared at him for a long while. He wasn't…He couldn't…He wouldn't possibly? Oh who the hell was she kidding? Of course, he would. She would probably do the same if their roles were reversed, but she was the Director now. And by informing her of his intentions, he just insured she'd go down with him if anyone ever found out. "Jethro…I….you shouldn't have told me that."
He looked up at her and looked deep into her eyes and she thought it might have been the most serious she'd ever seen him. "I'm telling you because you deserve to hear it from me and not the morning news. And…" he hesitated slightly before staring her down once more. "Because you deserve to make the call."
"You want me to what?" she exclaimed, horrified.
"Jen," he said fondly and she felt his hand rest over hers, but, while that would ordinarily distract her, the way he was looking at her held her full attention. "I did not tell you so that you would go down with me. If anyone ever finds out the truth, this conversation never happened, as far as I'm concerned. But you deserve…you have the right to remove me from this case, should you feel my actions go against how you want this handled and…I swear I will actually follow your order if you so choose."
He was giving her a choice? What had gotten into him? The Jethro she had known six years ago would give her a choice, yes, but the Jethro she knew as of late would simply tell Cesar's gang the truth and drop him off to be murdered by his own gang without even thinking of asking her opinion. "Why…why are you doing this, Jethro?" she whispered.
"Because this isn't an easy decision and…" he started and before she knew what was happening his lips pressed lightly against her cheek, daringly close to her own lips. "Because I'm tired of fighting, Jen."
Her heart was pounding, her stomach was fluttering with a thousand butterflies, and her blood was plumping at what she thought might be dangerous levels as she leaned in brushed her lips lightly against his own. It felt incredible, it felt right, it felt like she was floating on air and every other possible romantic cliché you heard in chick flicks or read in those romantic novels that were her dirty little secret passion.
But as the kiss deepened and he pulled her out of her seat into his lap, everything came crashing down on her. Her job…her daughter…everything she and Jethro had been through…SecNav…The President….the media. A relationship between a Director and a subordinate would be a career ending scandal that would last for a long time on every news station and in every paper, magazine, tabloid. Her life ruined, Jethro's life ruined, and her daughter's life ruined.
But God kissing Jethro made her feel like she was right where she belonged….No! She could not do this. It wasn't as if their relationship would last very long. She could see it all now. They would make out right here in her office, probably fuck right there on her desk to say screw it to the rules, but eventually they would want to not just have sex but make love.
He would guide her down to his car, arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her nice and close. He would drive her home to her place, begin kissing her from there to the front door, barely allowing her unlock the door, all while making a joke that they should have gone to his place since he doesn't lock his door.
And then the door would open and a seven year old girl would come slamming into them, expecting just her mother and it would be like 'Surprise! This is your daughter Emily that I've kept a secret from you for seven years…eight if you count the pregnancy. So do you still want to do upstairs and make love? Hell maybe we'll end up with a second child that I'll actually tell you about this time!' Oh yes, if she allowed this to continue, this relationship would last all of two hours not forever like she wanted.
So when she felt Jethro's hand gliding up under her shirt, she pulled away like he was on fire. Trying not to cry, she looked up at him ashamed. "Jethro…I want to," she all but whispered.
"I know," he said just as quietly.
"It's just, we can't…not now," she said, glancing down sadly.
"I know," he repeated. "I know. It's why I haven't pushed you." She looked up at him once more. He was being so sweet. He was always so sweet to her. She loved this side of him and loved the fact that she got to see it. Not many people did and she doubted Tony or McGee even thought him capable of it. But in reality, Jethro was sweet. She knew she kept overusing that description, but there was simply no other word for it.
She rested her hand on his. "I'm sorry, Jethro and don't give a damn about rule number six." She then moved her hand to caress his face. "I don't want to fight anymore either, though. I can't promise we won't, but I don't want to."
"We'll do our best, then."
"Agreed," she said standing and walking over to her desk. Jethro silently packed up the food and Jenny shut off her computer and grabbed her coat. After she finished, she walked over to him, her heart breaking slowly, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Do what you have to do with Cesar," she told him before walking out the door, tears already streaming down her face over both of the decisions she just had to make. Jethro was wrong. This dinner had cost her. It cost her her heart and her morality.