SMASH!
Hermione watched the bottle fall to the floor at her feet. The world seemed to go in slow motion as it smashed, landing half on her foot and half on the ground. Hermione knew she should be feeling pain, she could see the blood, the glass imbedded in her foot. But she felt nothing. Just an extremely heavy and dull ache in her heart and in the pit of her stomach.
Hermione felt her whole body droop, even her eyelids. She gazed at the blood oozing from her foot and all over the ground through half closed eyelids, her shoulders slumped and her chin on her chest. Her thoughts were moving much slower than they usually did for her, nothing was making much sense. It was an odd feeling for her, having nothing make sense or being able to hold onto one thought at a time.
She couldn't understand why the bottle had left her hand and landed on the floor. Why did it smash? What made it fall? Hermione felt her face scrunch up, not for the physical pain, but the mental pain.
Hermione slumped to the floor, feeling the glass imbed itself in her legs and knees, but still not feeling the sharp stings of pain as the glass broke through and sunk into her skin. She could focus on nothing but the haze in her mind. Yet she welcomed this comforting and familiar alcoholic haze in her mind, focusing on it was much less painful than thinking of …
"Dray … ko …" Hermione choked out through her tears, her hands sinking to the ground with her fingers splayed out wide, sinking into more glass as she put all her weight on her hands. Hermione felt like she was having an out of body experience, she didn't feel like she was sobbing, but she knew she was. Huge, heaving, gut wrenching sobs that shook her whole body with every inhale and exhale of breath.
"Why? DAMN IT DRACO! WHY?!"Hermione found herself screaming at her fists as she beat them against the floor into the glass, spraying alcohol and blood everywhere.
Eventually she stopped, slouching over and just staring at her hands. She knew there was blood on her arms, on her legs, on her clothes and she could feel it in her hair, see it under her nails. But she didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. She had no purpose. No reason to stand up and walk to the bathroom to get cleaned off. No reason at all.
And you've got no more Draco. Because you trusted him too soon. You really should've seen this coming. You were wrong about him. A little voice in her head scolded her harshly. But that voice only brought on a fresh wave of pain, and more gut wrenching tears.
Ron and Luna came downstairs from their floor to find Hermione on the kitchen floor, covered in glass, alcohol and blood, sobbing her heart out. After sharing a confused look, Ron and Luna cautiously made their way over to Hermione and both bent down next to her, but they were more careful about not stepping on the smashed glass than Hermione.
"Hermione? What happened?" Luna gently put a hand on Hermione's shoulder, but Hermione shied away from the touch, only to push the glass in her legs and hands deeper into her skin.
"Go away!" Hermione screamed at the pair of them. Luna sat still, staring at her friend in confusion and fear, having never seen Hermione in a state like this before. But Ron had, and he knew what to do. Ron slowly shuffled over to Hermione, holding his hands up, palms facing her so she could see that he wasn't going to harm her. Hermione watched wearily as Ron slowly reached his arms out, wrapping one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest.
"I'm not going to hurt you Hermione. I'm going to get you cleaned up. You will be OK." Hermione glanced up at Ron. He thought she was going to scream at him again, but instead she buried her head into his chest and began to sob again. Ron looked to Luna as he stood up, carrying Hermione with concern clear in his eyes.
"Luna can you get Hermione's first aid bag from her study please? Then meet me in her en-suite." Luna nodded and together they walked up the stairs to Hermione's floor, Luna with her eyes wide with worry over Hermione's obvious pain, and Ron frowning in concentration as he did his best to remember the charms Hermione had taught him that he might need.
Luna opened Hermione's bedroom door for Ron before she disappeared into the study, and Ron walked straight into Hermione's en-suite, where he carefully placed her on the edge of the bath, peeled off her shirt and jeans – she was still wearing the clothes Draco had given to her – and wet a hand towel so that he could begin to softly clean off the worst of the blood, leaving the water running so the bath would begin to fill up.
Luna came in quietly and set the bag on the floor next to Hermione, who's crying had quietened and she was now staring at her lap, not seeming to notice that Ron was touching her, let alone cleaning her up.
"Ronald, what's happened to her?" Ron's eyes flicked away from the blood he was cleaning up to Hermione's downcast face, to Luna's worried eyes before settling back onto the blood.
"Malfoy is what happened. He's broken her." Luna's eyes seemed to widen even more at Ron's words. Not just at what he'd said, but the way he'd said it, like he was ready to hunt down Malfoy and beat up him within an inch of his life, Muggle style fist to face with no wands. But Luna was a little confused at Ron's words.
"Broken her? What do you mean by that, Ronald?" Ron heaved a deep sigh as he started cleaning Hermione's hands, using a gentleness that Luna had only seen in him whenever someone he cares for – namely herself and now Hermione too – was in pain and needed help, but very rarely at any other time.
"He's deeply hurt her feelings. She did this once after she and I made the decision to stop dating each other, but before we told anyone. Her drinking hadn't been this bad that time, but she did start drinking. She said it created a haze that kept all the intense feelings away, making it easier to deal with her life. But one day she started drinking and she didn't stop. I actually had to take her to St Mungo's for depression and a minor alcohol addiction. Malfoy must've dumped her." Ron had remained calm and spoken with a slight, almost clinical detachment until he spoke Malfoy's name, and at his name Hermione seemed to wake up.
"Don't talk about me like I'm not here Ron. And you can start pulling the glass out, I think you've cleaned me up enough now. Do you remember any of the charms? I don't think I'll be able to hold my wand to do it myself." Ron nodded and turned his head to Luna as he started cleaning the blood out of the hand towel at the sink.
"Luna, can you get my wand from my bedside table please?" Luna nodded and rushed out of the room, nearly crashing into the door frame in her hurry.
Once Luna had disappeared Hermione spoke up, her eyes trained on her hands and her voice sounding dead. "Why are you looking after me?"
"Because someone has to, and you won't look after yourself." Ron spoke clearly but Hermione didn't respond, she didn't even acknowledge that she heard him speak.
She's worse than last time she did this … what the hell did he do to her?! Just then Luna came back with Ron's wand, with a smile of thanks and a gentle kiss on her cheek Ron took his wand from Luna before turning to Hermione, frowning in concentration.
It took him almost half an hour, but Ron managed to charm all the glass out of Hermione's arms, legs, knees and hands. Luna had collected the glass in a small bowl as Ron pulled it out, and the bowl was almost three quarters full of glass. But what worried Ron the most, was the lack of pain Hermione felt. She hadn't moved the entire time, unless Ron moved her limbs for her. She hadn't made a sound or uttered a complaint. It was like she was dead.
"Hermione, if we leave will you get yourself cleaned up?" Hermione glanced up at Ron and Luna, both of them paling visibly when they saw how empty and dead her eyes seemed.
"Sure I will." Ron looked right into Hermione's eyes and sighed, shaking his head.
"Sorry Hermione, but I'm not leaving you alone." Hermione didn't even respond when Ron gently picked her up and placed her in the now full bath, leaving her in her bra and knickers. "Luna, can you wash her hair?" Luna nodded and began to hunt down Hermione's shampoo and conditioner while Ron handed Hermione her body soap and washcloth.
"Luna will wash your hair, and you wash everything else, understand Hermione?" Hermione nodded once, and Ron left the girls alone, trying to hide his worry and building panic from Hermione.
Once Hermione was clean, had her wounds stitched up and she was dressed in her own clothes, a loose summer nightgown, Ron tucked her into bed.
"Do you need anything, Hermione?" Ron watched as Hermione processed the question and thought about it. It looked like a lot of effort for her, something that was not normal for Hermione.
"A glass of water. Please?" Luna offered to retrieve it, needing a few moments away from Hermione to pull herself together. "I'll get it for you, Hermione." Hermione only nodded vaguely in Luna's direction with her far away eyes still trained on her lap. Ron grabbed Luna's hand before she could leave and whispered something in her ear before letting her go.
Together Ron and Hermione waited in silence until Luna returned, handing Hermione her glass of water and a book to Ron. Then Luna softly placed a kiss on Ron's cheek and left again, closing the door behind her.
"Hermione. Are you able to tell me what happened?" Ron asked her gently as he sat on the edge of her bed, watching as she downed the water and placed it on her bedside table before curling up under the covers on her side, facing him but not looking at him directly.
"Ron, what's the time?" Ron glanced at his watch, humouring her but dying to know what had happened between her and Malfoy.
"It's three in the afternoon." Hermione frowned, obviously confused.
"Ron, what time did you notice I'd come home?" Ron frowned in thought.
"Well, Luna and I had a date last night, we got home around midnight, and you weren't home. Luna had told me she'd told you to go to Malfoy's last night. We came downstairs around eleven this morning when we heard a loud crash, which we now know was the bottle you dropped." Hermione nodded as though she understood, but Ron could see in her eyes that she didn't understand at all, that what he'd said didn't sink in or make sense to her.
"Hermione, what can you remember about last night and this morning?" Ron watched Hermione carefully as she processed his words and then worked to formulate a reply.
"I remember Luna telling me to go to Draco's…" Hermione trailed off and even though he didn't show it, Ron had one hateful thought running through his head. So he's still Draco to her?
"Draco took me to his apartment. It's not far from here ... And he gave me a bath. His bath is like the prefects bath at Hogwarts. Afterwards I came out to find out that he and Peggie had cooked dinner for us, but we didn't eat it …" Ron really didn't want to know what she and Malfoy had gotten up to, but he continued to listen, straining his ears as Hermione's voice dropped lower with each word.
"We had a wonderful night. And he even woke up happy … but something happened. I came back from the bathroom and he wasn't the Draco I thought I knew … he was Malfoy from Hogwarts." Hermione glanced up at Ron, her eyes wide with tears and seeming to plead with him.
"Ron, he said his father had found him a wife. He said he didn't want to refuse him, that it would be rude to do so. Ron … his dad wants him to be with someone … pureblood … but he seemed happy with me. He fought so hard for me … and then he didn't. I don't understand Ron!" Ron's face was full of concern for Hermione as he placed one hand on Hermione's back and rubbed small, soothing circles.
"I'm afraid I don't understand either, Hermione. But I need you to tell me something. What did you do after you left Malfoy's place?" Hermione frowned through her tears, working hard to remember.
"I remember going to Knockturn Alley, where I bought more alcohol. I had a few drinks on the way home … I remember watching the sun rise as I walked into the house. I must've left Draco's very early. And then I had one more drink inside … I just kept drinking … and then you found me."
Shit. She is worse than before. At least last time she actually kept track of her actions and how much she drank. I'll kill him for this. Ron was angry, but he worked to keep it from Hermione, keeping his face full of concern rather than anger, wanting to keep her calm.
"Hermione, from now on, you aren't allowed to drink. Understand? No more drinking." Hermione's eyes focused on Ron's, wide with alarm.
"But Ron!" Ron shook his head firmly.
"No. No drinking Hermione. We don't want to have to take you back to St Mungo's again, do we?" Hermione shook her head, her eyes sad and downcast again. Ron sighed and held up the book Luna had given him earlier.
"Want me to read you to sleep?" Hermione glanced up to see him holding up Hogwarts – A History. Smiling gratefully, Hermione smiled and nodded before getting herself more comfortable. Ron opened the book and began to read. Ron reading aloud to Hermione had been a coping technique they had come up with while Hermione was in rehab. It was simple but it worked - Ron would simply read a book of Hermione's choice until she fell asleep. It would give Hermione something to focus on, other than the thoughts that were in her own head.
During the ten months Ron had to read to Hermione, Ron had become an excellent reader. He knew exactly how to read to Hermione the way that she liked, but he was still a little too slow for her liking at some times. But no one could read out loud as fast as Hermione liked them to, so Ron didn't let it bug him too much.
Ron was halfway through the first chapter when Hermione began to drift off. Closing her eyes and smiling a little to herself as she listened to Ron, Hermione thought to herself; Right now, I'm glad Ron got to know me better than just a friend. He knows what book makes me feel better, and he reads out loud so smoothly for me. It's a old habit of ours from our shitty relationship, that I actually like.