10
Sheldon went back up to the apartment to make phone calls and send emails and establish a schedule. Despite Penny having forbidden it, he still intended to take a trip to New Jersey at some point.
Rene and Nora continued speaking over coffee.
"I can tell you aren't happy about what happened between me and Sheldon."
"Was I supposed to be?"
"No."
"Then why."
"Alex and I talked about it a lot before we even thought of speaking to him. It isn't just about the possibility of Penelope being a beautiful mind. To be honest, we've seen the pain that brought Sheldon. Over the years he's learned to hide it really well. His routines aren't as absolute as they used to be. You can switch gears without freaking him out so much. He accepts us touching him much more easily. But there's a part of him that we can't reach. The part that holds all the pain. The part where you live."
"I know. He keeps throwing details at me, talking about things that happened. But he won't say how he feels about any of it. I got him a little angry last night. But he hates conflict so. And the thing is I'm probably just as closed off as he is. In a way, I'm glad he has you and Penelope. I'm glad. Even though I wish it was me…"
Rene started crying uncontrollably. Nora put her arm around her.
"Sweetie, go ahead. I have a feeling these won't be the last tears that are shed while we're here. This isn't going to be easy for any of us but especially for you two. You two have one of those great loves. I know he loves you with all his heart and always has. And I'm pretty sure you love him just as much. Please try to get past all the years and the crap and the geography. Don't let Leonard and Kurt win. You guys need to be together. It's the only way the world makes sense."
"I know what you're saying. But there's also another thing I know. Sheldon is really angry at me. He's hiding it but it's there. And it's going to come out. It has to. And I know it won't be pretty. And I fucking deserve it."
"Damn it, you don't. You don't!"
"I do. I should have stayed. I should have fought for our happiness instead of running away. He deserved to be able to raise Cyndee. He deserved to be able to have a family with me. I took that from him. He may say the words but I don't think he'll ever really forgive me for that."
"There is nothing in this world that he wants more than to be with you forever. And yeah, there's that part of him that he doesn't want to let out. Penny, I beg you, fight for Sheldon. Want him. Don't give up. You two deserve to be happy. And we all want our family to be whole. We all deserve that. And I hate to say it, but it's on you. All this other stuff, the business, Kurt, even Leonard…it's all crap. You and Sheldon are what's important. You two are the heart and soul of our family."
"So no pressure."
"Fuck that. Decide what you want, Penny. Figure it out. All of the pieces are in play. Decide. Don't let me make your decision. Don't let Kurt make it. Don't even let Sheldon make it. You alone can figure out what your future will or won't be."
"Thanks, Nora. Make it easy for me."
"Not a fucking chance. Anyway, I'm going out for a walk around the neighborhood, maybe go check out the park for a while. I'm going to hang out in here tonight. I won't do anything. I just want to see what's happening. I suspect it'll bother Kurt some but he'll go right back to doing whatever he's been doing pretty darn quick. If you decide to toss him, I want you to be able to do it knowing exactly what he's been up to."
"Okay. Then I'm going to talk to Carli tonight. And I promise that Kurt won't find his way into my bed again. I swear."
"Don't make promises you can't keep. I suspect that the best way to keep him out of your bed is to have someone else in it. I prefer it be Sheldon, but if I have to…"
"Miss me that much, huh?"
"Sweetie, you're good but Alex…wow. Sorry. And you might have another thing you need to talk to Cyndee about."
"Huh?"
"She's a smart kid. She figured out you and me."
"Crap. So you two actually came here to completely destroy my life."
"Well, we let you do it by yourself for a long time. We wanted a shot. Though I'm pretty sure that we can't reveal anything else to her. All that's left is stuff you didn't even tell us."
"Yeah, that makes me feel so much better. Go. Take your walk. I'll see you later."