A/N: Ciao everyone

Here's another chapter! Enjoy these frequent updates while they last, 'cause soon I'm gonna get busy again D:

Little announcement, this is the last super dramatic chapter for With you! So hang tight, enjoy the last ride on the Feels-trip and leave a review :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Moving on.

Momo

"Hey, what's up?" Rukia answered nonchalantly after the third ring.

I gulped down the knot I felt in my throat "Can I stay over your place tonight?"

"Sure." She sounded worried "Did something happen? Are you okay?"

I nodded to myself "Yeah. I'm okay. I'll see you in 5."

"Be careful on your way."

As I hung up, I clutched my bag close to me, feeling so out of place in this big city where I got always in some sort of trouble.

I was already downtown, already on my way to Rukia's apartment. Thank God Rukia was already back home, or I would have just aimlessly roamed around town until she got back.

Finally I reached the building she lived in and buzzed her. By the time I got out of the elevator once I reached her floor, she was standing by the door to her apartment, waiting for me with arms crossed against her chest, as a plastic bag laid next to her feet.

Oh shit, did I actually interrupt the rest of her date with Kaien?

Rukia easily understood what I was thinking about and reassured me "By the time you called me I was already on my way back home, don't worry."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in and walked towards her "How did it go?"

She just shrugged and unlocked her door "It was okay. How did it go with Ren?"

"Long story." I groaned "What did you buy?" I asked, motioning towards the plastic bag on the floor, which she picked up as she opened the door.

"Food and drinks. You sounded like you needed some." She said nonchalantly and got in the apartment.

I followed suit and made myself at home "You look like you need a drink too."

"No, I look like I need a freaking boyfriend." She grumbled and walked off in her bedroom "Did you bring pajamas?"

I checked the contents of my bag "No." I called out and went in her bedroom "Can you lend me something to wear?"

"Why are you even asking." She rummaged through her walk-in closet "Here you go." She threw a pair of sweat pants, a t-shirt and a big parka.

"So… what happened with Kaien?" I asked as I changed into the comfy clothes she gave me.

Rukia groaned and got out already in her pajamas "Don't even start it. I did it for you, and you know that."

"You really shouldn't have…" I remembered Toushirou's words and my lower lip started to tremble "Did Kaien confess?"

"No." She sighed "I stopped him."

I looked at her, unable to believe what I just heard "Why would you do that?"

"To not complicate things." Rukia sat on her bed and looked at me while I folded my outdoor clothes.

"You already complicated things when you agreed to go out with him." I said in an accusatory tone.

"Well, I stopped it from getting even more complicated then."

"He likes you."

"I love Ichigo." She shot back "I agreed to go because I want you to haul ass and get it on with Ren."

"I don't like Ren!" I said, surprised by her words "You can't force me to go out with him!"

"I can't force you, but I sure can force him." Rukia assumed a joking tone in her voice, then she turned serious "Momo, I don't want to see you crying over an asshole who gives no shit about you. Might as well send you off to a guy who actually likes you."

"Rukia…" I said in a warning tone.

"Whatever. What happened with Ren?" I gave my clothes to Rukia and she put them on a chair in the corner of her bedroom. "Did he confess?"

I was silent for a moment and then I sighed "Yes."

"Oooh!" She rubbed her hands together "Tell me more."

"Listen, he's just a ladies' man, he's just playing around with me. I didn't take his confession seriously, and neither should you."

"Shut up, you know he really likes you." Rukia dragged me in the kitchen and took out a bottle of tequila from the plastic bag she left on the kitchen counter. "I heard you two talking, I saw him interact with you, and he looks pretty serious about you."

She got two shot glasses from her cup board and filled them with tequila. Then she handed one glass to me and clinked it with hers "Cheers." She drank it in one swig and got her phone "Alright, time to call Ran."

oOOOo

"His brain has some serious issues!" Shouted Rukia. "All boys have issues with their stupid brains!"

I glanced at my drunk friend "Did you fight with Ichigo again?"

"That son of a bitch!" She nearly broke down in tears but shoved it all back in with another shot of tequila "I don't understand what he's thinking."

"Meh, boys think with their weiner." Rangiku sighed and crossed her arms across her chest "Momo, maybe Toushirou was just jealous, and…"

"Stop trying to defend him." Rukia interrupted her with a frown "He's in my Blacklist now. Your stupid little cousin did nothing but mess around with Momo's feelings!"

"Rukia…" I said in a warning tone, but it sounded more like a whimper "Stop."

What was I even supposed to say? I wanted to defend Toushirou from Rukia's accusations, but no words came out.

"No, Momo. You stop." She shot me a glare "Stop defending that asshole! I hate him, how dare he!? How dare he hurt you?"

I just looked down at my lap "Well, what do you want me to do then?" My voice started to rise by the second, and slowly my sadness was turning into madness "I fucking love him, damn it!"

Rukia looked at me with a shocked expression "How can you still say that after all the shit he put you through?"

I got up from my seat "He didn't put me through anything, Rukia. It was all me. I was the one who hurt myself by making delusions like he actually liked me." My hands were clenched into fists. "You know what? I tried to get over him. I really tried hard. But I just couldn't do it." I slowly sat back down "I still can't."

"Can't get over him?" Rukia said in an incredulous tone.

"I can't." I repeated, knowing she was just going to explode then.

"There's no such thing as something you can't do!" There she goes "If there's a will, there's a fucking way! Always!" I noticed Rangiku shrinking in her seat "So what's your problem? Can't get over him because you see him every day? Fucking get out of that damn house!"

I twisted the hem of my shirt on my lap, holding back the urge to cry. "I can't leave the house, Mom and Dad let me come here thanks to Uncle Toushirou and Aunt Shizuka."

"Alright, don't leave then. Just tell Aunt Shizuka to change rooms because you can't get over his stupid son. Avoid him. Stay at school until you're sure he's sleeping or out with his friends. Lock yourself in Rangiku's room." Rukia crossed her arms across her chest "See how many possible solutions there are?"

I looked down, knowing well what she was trying to point out.

When I looked at her, Rangiku and I got surprised by the sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks. Albeit the tears, she looked angry and hurt "You think I like seeing you like this?"

"You think I like feeling like this?" I countered.

"I've seen you go through enough bullshit, Momo. First with Aizen, and now this?" She angrily wiped her tears away "You don't deserve any of this. I don't want to see you go through any more of this crap and I won't let you go back to that self-destructive phase of yours." Rukia let out a sob and grabbed the half-empty bottle of tequila "I will never let you be with Toushirou if it makes you suffer this much." She grabbed filled two shot glasses and handed them to me and Rangiku "Fucking cheers to that." And then she directly drank from the bottle.

oOOOo

"She's small, but she's so freaking heavy." Rangiku grunted as we carried Rukia back on her bed.

I didn't say anything as we got back in the living room; Rangiku and I sat on the couch, I looked out of the window and looked at the sky as it got darker since it was getting late.

"Rukia's a very good friend." She said, breaking the silence.

I kept staying quiet, still shaken from Rukia's outburst.

"You shouldn't get mad at her, Momo-chan." Rangiku gave me a pat on the shoulder "She's just very worried about you."

"I know." I lamely answered "Let's have dinner and go to sleep."

I got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, hoping that Rukia's fridge had enough ingredients to let me cook a healthy meal.

Rangiku followed suit "Sounds good. Should we wake her up?"

"No, once she falls asleep, nothing or no one else but Ichigo can wake that monster up."

Rangiku just laughed and sat by the kitchen counter, watching me rummage through the fridge. She was silent, which was unusual.

I think she was also surprised by Rukia's attitude from earlier. And I could pretty much guess that she was curious about what happened to me because of Aizen.

So I decided to tell her what happened to me during Middle School, knowing I could trust her. At least, she could also understand why Rukia was that overprotective towards me.

"You must be wondering…" I started while grabbing the chopping board from a cupboard "What Rukia was referring to earlier by 'Aizen' and my 'self-destructive phase'."

Rangiku sheepishly smiled and nervously rubbed the back of her neck "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Momo."

"Aizen was…" I shook my head "No, that's not the right start." I got a kitchen knife and started slicing the meat "Back in middle school I was a very fat girl."

She tilted her head to the side, probably trying to imagine me with a bigger figure.

"And Aizen was the most popular guy back in my Middle School." I could see the image of the school building, the classroom, and everything related to my middle school in the back of my mind "Everyone used to make fun of me because of my size, and he decided to stand by my side and protect me, keep me company." I let out an emotionless chuckle "Of course, I fell in love with him. When I found the courage to confess to him before the end of our senior year, he laughed in my face and told the whole school that his plan worked."

I took a pause to grab a cooking pot and put it on the stove after filling it with water.

"I hated myself then. I loathed myself for being so stupid. So foolish to believe that Aizen might have actually felt the same back then. I despised myself for being so… ugly." I shook my head and put the meat in the water "So I went through that phase that Rukia defined 'self-destructive'."

Rangiku hesitantly spoke up "What exactly did you do then?"

"More like what didn't I do…" I started chopping veggies on the chopping board "I stopped eating. My body refused any sort of food I put in my mouth. I went through this phase throughout summer, and Rukia was by my side the whole time."

I put the veggies and knife on the side and supported myself on the counter "And High School became some sort of debut for me. I became skinny." I sighed and glanced at Rangiku "And that's pretty much it."

"Do you feel like you'll go through that phase again?"

I smiled "I hope not."

Soon, dinner was ready, Rangiku and I quickly ate and went to sleep. She went to sleep in the guest room, while I slept with Rukia.

As I laid down, Rukia squeezed me with her arm and leg. "You told her?" She asked me.

"You heard us?"

"I did." She lazily answered "I'm sorry for getting mad at you earlier."

I smiled, though I know she couldn't see me in the darkness "I'm sorry, too."

"I meant every word I said, though." Rukia sat up and stretched her arms "I'm going to eat."

"Rukia." I said before she left the room.

"What is it?"

"Thank you."

I could already imagine her smiling as she spoke "You're always welcome."

oOOOo

I woke up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and hot waffles.

As I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a white mug filled with steamy coffee and a plate filled with countless waffles covered in caramel syrup.

Well, that's a nice way to start a day.

I sat up, rubbing my sleepy eyes and noticed that Rukia was nowhere in sight. I could hear voices coming from the living room, so after doing my morning ritual, I got out of the bedroom without even bothering to brush my hair or make myself look presentable. Who cares, only Rukia and Rangiku were here anyway.

For a moment I was blinded by the sun that lit up nearly the whole apartment. And when I saw Ren and Rukia chatting nonchalantly by the dining table, I blinked twice.

I could clearly see from where I was standing her perfectly applied make up, and she was wearing her nicest pajamas. "What's going on?"

"Well…" Rukia started with a smile, recovering from the initial grunt at my sight "Nagase wants to join our study session!"

I narrowed my eyes, not caring how haggard I looked in front of that guy "… how did he know we had a study session?"

"I have my ways." Ren answered with a smile "Good morning, Momo-chan."

I just grumbled "So much for my great morning." Sighing, I left the room and prepared myself for the long day ahead.

My love life might have been going downhill, but I couldn't let that affect my academic life. Plus, studying distracted me better than anything.

This was it. Moving on from Toushirou didn't seem so impossible, somehow. Rukia's tears from last night were my wake up call, I didn't understand until then how my 'post-Aizen' phase marked her deeply. I tried to reverse the roles in my mind, and if Rukia had to go through something like that, I would have been very worried about her.

I might be over reacting over a broken heart in the eyes of other people, but they don't know what a heart break made me go through back in my middle school days.

Better safe than sorry, right? I'm going to get rid of my emotions for Toushirou before it's too late.

I won't let the past repeat itself.

oOOOo

"I don't get it." Rangiku scratched her head in irritation "Why do we have to study on a Sunday?"

"Because exams are coming, duh?" Rukia stated, munching on her strawberry jam coated donut. "Don't complain, just look at what Momo and Ren are reviewing."

I heard Rangiku gasp dramatically after peeking over my shoulder "That's madness."

"That's the Medicine Course." Deadpanned Rukia "Hey, let's take a break."

Ren just looked at me, looking like he was waiting for an answer from me. "You guys can go ahead. I'm not tired yet." I said without looking away from my book.

After a moment of silence, Rukia and Rangiku got up "We'll go ahead and buy something for lunch. Does Chinese food sound good?"

I just nodded absentmindedly, and only when the two of them left did I realize that it was only me and Ren left in the apartment.

I just ignored him and concentrated on what I was reading. But I was stuck, so I kept re-reading the same phrase over and over again. Ugh, it just didn't want to get in my brain!

"Don't you want to take a break?" Ren spoke up, leaning back against the couch behind him. We were sitting on the floor of the living room, our textbooks laying on the glass coffee table. We were just between the coffee table and the couch "You can't force it if it won't sink in your brain."

He must have noticed my struggle, making me sigh. "Why do you have to notice every single detail about me?" I closed my book and leaned back too.

"Because I see those details whenever I look at you, I guess." Ren answered nonchalantly.

I just looked at him, purely amused "Ah… you and your lines. Don't you get embarrassed when you say such things?"

"Should people be embarrassed when they say the truth?" He easily countered with a smirk.

Rolling my eyes, I got up and stretched my legs. We've been sitting for a couple of hours. "So… do you actually plan your pick-up lines at home when you have nothing to do?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah. Absolutely." He nodded, in a mockingly serious way "Every word that comes out of my mouth is pre-made while I'm at home. I write them down in a secret notebook that I hide under my bed."

I nodded, holding back my laughter at the ridiculous conversation we were having. "Smart and clever."

"Handsome, smart and clever." He added, running a hand through his ink black hair "Pick-up lines, back-up lines, counter-lines… everything is prepared back home."

At that point, I burst out in laughter "Alright smart guy, please do enlighten me with your intelligence."

Ren just smiled at me, but he looked… nervous? "Let me ask you a question, then."

I motioned at him with my hand dramatically to let him go on.

"Why won't you believe me when I say I like you?"

And that totally ruined the mood. I looked away from him, searching for something to distract me. "Why should I tell you?"

"Because I care about you." He sounded so serious it gave me chills. "Momo, I've never been so... interested towards a girl like this."

"See? What you feel towards me is interest, not 'like'." I countered, wanting to close the topic and to go back to study.

"I do like you. Why can't you accept it?"

"Ren, if this is one of your idiotic pick-up lines, I swear I'm going to get so ma-" I stopped when I accidentally met his eyes; there was that look in his eyes that told me that he was not messing around now. The playful mood from earlier felt like it never existed, and I found myself still staring at him.

"I'm not messing around." He stated as a matter-of-fact. "At least tell me why…"

"You blatantly told me the other day that you treat every girl like a princess." I answered him, just wishing that Rukia and Rangiku would come back and interrupt this… chaos. "I don't want to be treated like I'm just one of the many girls you could easily get with your stupid pick-up lines."

Ren started fiddling with his phone and threw it at me. I luckily caught it mid-air, and I looked at him in shock "I deleted every number in my phone." He motioned his head at his phone's direction "If that's what's keeping you away from me, I'm willing to ignore every other girl to have you." I looked down and the screen flashed '0 Contacts'.

I sighed and walked towards the coffee table "That's not just it. Look, just give up. You can have any type of girl you want out there, stop wasting your time with me."

As I was putting his phone down on the coffee table, Ren grabbed my hand and made me look at him "What is it then? Is it because you like-"

"It's because I don't like how lightly you can say 'I like you' to someone you barely know." I quickly answered before he could finish his question. I looked away and tried to snatch my hand back. "Why are you willing to sacrifice anything for someone like me…?" I could barely hear my voice at the end of my sentence.

"If what you're trying to ask me is why I like you, then I can't give you a clear answer." Ren squeezed my hand in his "Does there always have to be a reason to why someone likes someone?"

He nearly sounded desperate, making me look at him. This guy, who is incredibly handsome and charming, who can easily get anyone he wanted, looked like he was actually begging for me.

"We're ba-!" Rukia stopped mid-sentence as Ren and I turned to look towards the door. She was holding two plastic bags in her hands, and behind her stood Rangiku and her boyfriend, Ichimaru.

"Ara, looks like we interrupted them." Ichimaru spoke, his smile never leaving his face. Rangiku smacked his arm, making him just grin.

I grabbed Ren's distraction as an opportunity to snatch my hand back and walk towards Rukia "What did you get? I was just getting hungry…"

Rukia perked up and quickly got in the apartment, eager to make me eat as much as I could.

oOOOo

The weekend passed in a blur, and before I even knew it, it was already Monday.

I woke up at the sight of Ren putting a cup of coffee and a plate filled with waffles, just like yesterday, on the night stand on my side of the bed. I blinked the sleepiness away "Ren?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He apologized, kneeling down next to me "Did you sleep well?"

I buried my face in the pillow, not able to handle such a handsome face so close to mine when I just woke up. I just nodded, and I heard him chuckle behind me. He ruffled my hair and I heard him getting up "I'll be in the living room."

Once I made sure he was out of the bedroom, I turned to look at the plate of waffles on the night stand. So he was the one who put it there yesterday, huh.

Thankfully, since we were in our exams period, we had no lessons at the University, and we had all the time in the world (not really) to study.

I sighed and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I glanced once again at the breakfast by my side and held back a smile.

This guy knew how to get me in a good mood.

oOOOo

"I'll go out and buy some snacks." Ren got up from his seat, stretching his long arms and legs "Anything you want in particular, Momo?"

I shook my head, barely noticing him since I was so fixed on my book.

Rukia and Rangiku started talking, probably saying what they wanted, and soon Ren left.

I snapped out of my daze when Rukia started to shake me by my shoulders. "What?"

"That guy is freaking perfect!" She squealed "He asked you first what you wanted!"

"Yeah, well, I was the one sitting next to him. If you go in order, I go first, then you and then Rangiku." I explained.

"Shut up. Stop using your brain, damn it." Rukia tapped my head while Rangiku laughed.

I closed my book and suspiciously looked at Rukia "Are you still trying to set me up with him?"

"Whaaaat?" She said in her most innocent look "Of course not! Why would I want to set you up with a hot, smart and caring guy like Ren? Duh!"

Rangiku doubled over in laughter "I think he's going to do you good, Momo-chan."

"Oh, he better do you good." Rukia wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, earning a sucker punch on her arm. "You know what we mean." She calmed down and rested her head on the coffee table "Aren't you thinking of giving him a chance?"

"He's here because you called him and probably because he feels pity for me." I grumbled "Stop forcing the guy."

"Okay, I may have called him, but he clearly likes you, Momo. How many times do you need to hear it from him?" Rukia said in an exasperated sigh "He. Likes. You." She emphasized every word.

"Give the guy a chance, Momo." Rangiku intervened with a comprehensive smile.

"But he's a ladies' man!" I protested.

"He's willing to change. And he's showing you how much he cares about you." Rukia frowned "What does he need to do, Momo? You can't keep pushing people away." She straightened up in her seat and grabbed two pens. "Look at your situation in this way. Let's say that you're a drug addict who needs rehab, real bad. So…" She put the black pen to my left "Choice one is to go and rehab and get well soon." Then she put the blue pen to my right "Or give in to temptation and get dragged back down."

I didn't say anything for a moment, and Rukia continued "Rehab is going to be hard at first. Which is normal! Of course it's hard to get separated from something you feel like you need to live, but you don't know that that addiction is actually getting you killed. Then imagine when you're fully rehabilitated. You'll get to live a healthy lifestyle and you'll understand how wrong you were for getting addicted to drugs!"

"That's quite the analogy." Rangiku joked.

I slumped down, leaning back against the couch. "What should I do, then?"

"Don't you like him?" Asked Rangiku "Even just a tiny little bit?"

I looked at my two friends, who were looking at me expectantly.

Well, what was not to like about this guy? Since yesterday he's been doing nothing but showing me that he actually cared about me. He's smart, funny, handsome, charming.

I mean, things happen for a reason, right? Maybe he was just what I needed…

But it wasn't right for me to turn to him just because I'm feeling miserable because of another guy.

"Give me more time." I mumbled lowly, but the two clearly heard me.

They started cheering loudly, making me wonder if I was actually doing the right decision.

oOOOo

When Ren got back with Ichimaru, Rukia and Rangiku could barely contain themselves. They were literally bouncing in their seats as they studied.

Ren didn't say anything, but I knew he was suspecting that something was going on.

We continued with our studies, and I actually finished studying the parts that I needed to study. But I still felt a little unsure if studying from only one textbook was enough, so I decided to go out and buy a reference book.

Ren accompanied me, and we idly chatted on the way to the bookstore.

Thank goodness the bookstore was nearby.

While I was in the bookstore, I thought I was going insane, having hallucinations of Toushirou's image around the bookstore. I seriously had to get my brain checked.

I quickly bought the reference book I needed, and I got out of the bookstore.

I thought I saw Toushirou again, but I knew it was my mind still playing tricks on me.

'I'm not gonna fall for it this time, ha!'

Ren motioned his head towards a certain direction, making me turn around to see Toushirou standing there.

My head and my heart automatically locked down, and my body went full auto as I started to interact with him. I faintly smiled at him and turned back to look at Ren "I got the book." I said, holding up the paper bag.

Ren smiled and got the paper bag from my hand. He said goodbye to Toushirou, while I just didn't have the courage to turn around and look at him. I was surprised when Ren put his hand on the small of my back, as he gently nudged me forward.

Oh. He was willing to pretend to be my boyfriend in front of Toushirou.

"When are you coming back?" Toushirou asked out of the blue. I looked back, but I avoided his gaze "Mom's been asking about you." 'Of course you'd never look for me.'

AAAH get that bitterness out of here. This is it. This is the final test. This is the first step for my project to move on from him.

As much as I appreciated Ren's thought, I stepped away from him "When our exams are over." I briskly answered Toushirou.

See? I can do this. I encouraged myself, as I was about to turn and leave, Toushirou spoke again. "You could always study home, you know?"

I remembered Rukia's analogy, about me being some kind of addict who needed to go into rehab. And that I was getting tempted by that addiction to get dragged back down.

This was exactly it.

Ever since I was by Toushirou's side, I was slowly destroying myself. Saying goodbye to my feelings for him was going to hurt, but it was for the best.

Only now do I realize the truth in that saying 'Love yourself first, before you start loving others'.

I had to love myself first, or I was going to fall into the depths of despair.

I looked up at Toushirou and dimly smiled "Bye bye, Toushirou."

I started walking away with Ren by my side. That was good. I could do it. I could go into rehab and finally get cured from my addiction.

All that was left to do was resist the urge to look back.

So I didn't look back.

oOOOo

Ouch.

So far, this is one of the worst things I've ever done to myself.

I did my best to keep my head high and look straight ahead as Ren and I walked away from Toushirou.

Of course, I didn't dare to say a thing, I could already feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes, and I've cried enough tears in the past few days. In the past months that I've spent with Toushirou, I cried more than I ever did in my 18 years.

We were heading back to Rukia's apartment, heavy silence fell between me and Ren.

"You should have just played along and make him pay for being such a douche." Ren suddenly spoke up, his hands casually sitting in his pocket. He was probably referring to his actions that made it look like we were a couple. I stepped back from him, earlier, not wanting to lie to Toushirou. "I wouldn't have minded."

I simply shrugged in reply, pretty sure that if I spoke my voice would give out on me.

Silence reigned again between us, and I could already see the building where Rukia lives from where we were.

'Alright, Momo, you can do this. Make it in Rukia's apartment and drown yourself in any sort of alcoholic drink that she usually stores in her enormous fridge.'

Just a little bit more.

' And make sure that this is the very last time you're going to bawl your eyes out for the same guy.'

I noticed Ren looking at me from the corner of my eye, and he spoke again "You know…" He started "You shouldn't have brushed him of like that if you were going to make a face like that in the end."

In that moment, I felt something snap inside of me. My breathing riled up and I looked up at him with a glare "You think I liked what I did?!" I snapped at him "I didn't want to brush him off like that! But I'm so done with being stomped over by the guy I like!" My vision got blurry all of a sudden and I started sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted to stop talking, but I couldn't. My emotions were getting the better of me "I hate it! I just want to get over him and leave that damned house where I'm forced to see him 24/7!" Unable to see much because of the tears, I stopped walking. "But I can't…" I sobbed, and breathing was getting harder by the second.

I messily wiped my tears away with my sleeves, sobbing and hiccupping all the while. This is what I call 'Stage 3' of my crying phases. I couldn't even talk anymore.

I was emotionally feeling so bad that I could even feel physical pain in my chest. And I wish that this pain could lessen by just punching Toushirou square in the face.

But life has never been that easy.

I felt Ren gently tug me towards him, and I just took a step closer to him. He started patting my head, like he normally did, and somehow that form of normality comforted me. "Momo… You know how I feel about you."

I bit my lower lip, knowing that he refrained himself from saying those three words because I told him how much I hated how he could say it so lightly. I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel.

I shook my head, unable to talk, not because I couldn't believe his words. In merely two days he showed me how much he cared for me; I just didn't want to believe him.

"You don't have to suffer any more for a guy like him." Ren soothingly ran his hand up and down my back "I'll take care of you. I'm serious about you."

Hearing his words made me want to cry even more, because those were the words I've been longing for from Toushirou. But that's never going to happen. I furiously shook my head once again, wanting him to just stop.

Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been Toushirou?

I hate this. I hate everything that has been happening to me ever since I came here in Seireitei. I hate the old golden days when Toushirou had me hoping that he liked me back. I hate the tough times I'm going through now because Toushirou destroyed that last tiny bit of hope in me. I hate what happened to me, I turned into a whiny crybaby who can do nothing but cry every time Toushirou shot me down. And I hate myself for showing every bit of my insecurities and my weak self to Ren.

I hated myself because, as much as I complained on the outside about Ren's constant presence in Rukia's apartment, deep inside I loved how he took care of me in the past couple of days.

The contrast between his normal behavior and that little hint of… something special for me.

As much as I hated to admit it, I think I was actually starting to feel something for him.

I stopped crying by the time Ren put his finger under my chin and made me look at him "This time… look at me."

Does anything even matter if you don't get it from the one you really want?

I was in a daze, my body and my head felt incredibly light. It felt like I was dreaming, and amidst the cold autumn breeze I felt warm. Our faces slowly inched closer, and we slowly closed our eyes.

My heart nearly stopped, and I unconsciously held back my breath.

And then, we kissed.

oOOOo

A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter

So, I know you guys are probably tired of all the drama, I'm actually tired of it too now. But don't worry, as I said earlier, this is actually the last super dramatic chapter for With You, happy moments (especially for Momo) are coming up!

Not sure when I'll be able to update again, lessons in Universities here will resume on the 16th of February, when the exams period will be finally over.

Please do leave a review :3

Love y'all!

Toodles xx