Chapter 9
Thursday December 30th, 2004
7:38 a.m.
Grissom's Office
"Alright we're here so why did you call us back Griss?" Catherine asked as she entered his office, Warrick, Nick, Greg, and Jessica right behind her.
"Hey guys..." Grissom began not looking up from the book in front of him. "Have a seat."
"O-kay..." Nick began as they grabbed various forms of seats, Greg shrugging and sinking to the floor. "What's up?"
"I've been doing some thinking..." Grissom began finally looking up at him. "We can't find anything on John. There's no evidence, but it seems to me that there must be something for us to find if we're going to be able to figure out where he is going to go next."
"And?" Warrick prompted after a few moments of silence.
Grissom looked over at Jessica and took a deep breath. "You've known her longer than any of us...do you think it's possible that she was an abuse victim?"
"Now that I think about...and I really hate having to admit this but...yes I do," replied Jessica sadly.
"No," Catherine whispered horrified before it started to sink in. "Oh God, that makes sense. What he said..."
"But we would have seen the signs...wouldn't we?" Greg spoke up softly.
Grissom picked his book back up before beginning to read. "Splitting: Seeing the world in terms of black and white, no shades of gray. Lack of Integration: On the outside being a super achiever. Control Issues. Hyper awareness/Super alert. Workaholism/Business: Staying busy is one way of avoiding feelings. Addictions. Avoiding Intimacy..." trailing off he looked at the others sadly. "You know, we didn't see the signs, we should have, but we didn't."
"Damn, we're investigators...when did we stop looking around at our friends to make sure they were okay? We missed her drinking...we missed her pulling away...What kind of friends are we? Can we ever say we were the friends to her that she was to us?" Nick whispered looking off at a display across the room.
"I don't know. But I know this, we're going to find her and get her back. And I'll be damned if I don't spend the rest of our lives being the friends she deserves," Warrick answered.
Everyone remained silent as they thought over what they had just learned so to speak. Nick was the first to notice that Jessica didn't seem quite there. But if anyone else noticed, nothing was said. And as time passed in the surprisingly comfortable silence, they each forgot about the life outside the office, until Jim entered wondering what the lot of them were doing there when they had work in only a half an hour.
Saturday January 22nd, 2005
3:10 a.m.
Grissom's Office
"Grissom."
"Griss…."
"Sara?" Grissom asked as he sat up. "Sweetie where are you?" he asked concerned.
"I...I don't now," Sara whispered over the phone. "Get a trace up Griss, I don't know how long John is going to be gone," she continued keeping her voice down.
"All right, hang on honey," he replied as he tried to figure out how to contact trace without leaving the phone. Just then Greg walked by. Covering the receiver he called to the younger man.
"Yeah boss?" Greg asked stopping back to look at him.
"Get a trace on my phone, it's Sara," he replied before turning back to the phone as Greg took off down the hall. "Honey, are you alright?"
Sara laughed slightly, more a heartless laugh than anything else. "That's a question you don't want the answer to," she whispered before he heard a noise.
"Sara, what is it?"
"Do what you did last time Griss...I'll try to make it look like the phone isn't on. Buy you time," she rushed before he heard movement and the sound of the phone he guessed being set somewhere before rustling...the rustling made by someone on a bed.
Taking a deep breath he hit the buttons that put her call on speaker and kept anything said on his end from going to her and sat back terrified.
"Sara?" John's voice came over the line just as Warrick, Nick, Catherine, and Jessica came sliding into each other from three directions in front of his door before pushing their way into the room breathless. Grissom looked up at them and shook his head slightly. "Greg's getting trace.
"We know, he saw me along the way. I called Warrick," Nick answered as they took places around the room.
"Sara, I know you're awake," John's voice continued as Jessica looked at the phone before looking up at Grissom.
"I don't know, she called and told me to do what I did the last time to buy time for the trace. I think she's on a bed though..." Grissom explained before they heard the sound of a mattress shifting as if someone was sitting on it.
"Sarai, stop this!" John ordered before they heard rustling.
"What do you want John?" Sara asked in a defeated voice.
"Sarai, please don't look at me like that," John spoke softly before sighing heavily. "Why do you do this Sara? You were given to me, a gift from our loving father. And yet you pull away. I know I taught you better," he continued soothingly.
"Please, just leave me alone for the night," Sara asked softly. "I don't feel so good..."
"Sarai!" John spoke harshly. "Sing Sara," he continued after a moment much softer, huskier...
"Please..." Sara spoke and they heard more movement over the line.
"Oh God, please not again," Catherine whispered.
/-/Not again...oh God...not again.../-/ thought Jessica desperately as she backed into the corner, sliding her body down the wall when she hit it and wrapping her arms around her knees protectively.
"Sing," John commanded before humming a few notes. They heard a sob catch in Sara's throat before she started to sing. But this time she didn't cry.
"Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
For such a worm as I?
At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light,
And the burden of my heart rolled away,
It was there by faith I received my sight,
And now I am happy all the day!"
Greg slid into the doorframe at that moment, mumbling an apology as Catherine stood and brought him into the room. It was easy to see he had managed to smack his head hard on the frame as she forced him into a seat and he shook his head before raising a hand to his temples. "Trace is up," he finally got out. While they had been talking Sara had sung another verse of the song, and they could hear the bed shift and sounds they recognized from their own lives, sounds they recognized from the last time, minus the cries.
"Thus might I hide my blushing face
While His dear cross appears,
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
And melt my eyes to tears.
But drops of grief can ne'er repay
The debt of love I owe:
Here, Lord, I give my self away
'Tis all that I can do."
As Sara finished the song they looked at each other unsure...and in fear.
"That was beautiful my angel," John whispered.
"Please..." Sara's voice came soft and quiet over the phone.
"Stop it," John growled before they heard a sob catch in Sara's throat and she started to cry, whispering please over and over.
"Stop it Sara!" John ordered harshly before they heard the sound of Sara being hit.
"Griss, it's in Dallas," Archie spoke running up to the doorway. "Brass is contacting local police."
"I can't...I'm going to..." mumbled Jessica as she scrambled to her feet, and ran for the door, pushing Archie harshly out of the way and running off down the hall.
Catherine went to go after her as Nick snapped. He rushed over to the phone and after hitting the button so they could be heard yelled over the phone. "HEY! Leave her alone!"
Catherine stopped mid-step to look at him in shock; everyone else looked at Nick in shock as everything became silent on the other end of the phone.
"You called someone..." John began after a moment. "Sara how could you?" he asked wounded.
"The police are on their way," Sara answered confidently, more like the woman they knew.
They heard movement before Sara laughed humorlessly. "There's no place to go John. You can't get me back into a vehicle and on the road before they arrive...No matter how in the middle of nowhere we no doubt are," she added before they heard a growl and the familiar sound of the cocking of a gun. Sara snorted. "You won't kill me John. Abram never harmed Sarai."
Sara's scream came out of nowhere before they heard the sounds of the mattress being moved and what could only be John throwing Sara around.
"Dear God, what have I done..." Nick asked backing away from the phone.
"Sing Sara!" John's harsh command broke through the screams. Around the room everyone stared in shock at the phone, Archie turning green in the doorway.
"Sing!" John yelled before they heard the sound of the gun being cocked again.
It was almost eerily silent in the room as Sara's screams died and they could hear the bed creaking, hear her struggling to breath before she began to sing.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see
T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home."
Sara's sudden scream made everyone jump before she continued to sing, a melancholy note entering her voice.
"The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forget to shine
Yet God who calls me here below
Shall be forever mine.
Yes soon this flesh and heart shall fail
And mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the veil
A life of joy and peace."
"Finish the song Sara!" John growled as they heard the mattress shift once more.
"When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shinning as the sun.
We've no less ways to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see."
As Sara finished the song they heard a loud crash before the door slammed shut.
Before they had a chance to process everything, they could hear sirens in the distance and breathed sighs of relief. Archie turned and headed off, towards the bathroom no doubt. Catherine glanced at Grissom before heading off in search of Jessica.
Somehow the three men waited patiently for the police to break in. As soon as they heard them, Grissom started yelling over the phone to get someone's attention. Moments later an officer picked up the phone. He identified himself, and Grissom did the same as he picked up the phone to take it off speaker. He looked up at Nick, Greg, and Warrick as he covered the receiver. "Go check on Jessica and Catherine. And someone should check on Archie. Also, someone get Brass," he instructed. They looked at him for a moment as if debating saying no before leaving without a word.
Brass was the first to come back, and Grissom handed him the phone to talk with the officer as he picked up his cell phone. He had a call to make.
Meanwhile, Catherine had located Jessica in the bathroom, curled up in one of the stalls. It didn't take a second for Catherine to figure out the poor woman had just lost everything she had eaten in the last few hours, if not the last few days. Catherine gathered some wet paper towels to press against Jessica's forehead and gathered the younger woman to her as she cried. Minutes later Nick knocked on the door and entered cautiously. He saw them and frowned in concern before kneeling down next to them.
Looking at Catherine he nodded slightly before carefully taking Jessica from her and lifting her up. She followed him as he carried her to the break room and laid her on a couch. Catherine nodded and left the two and he gently brushed a cool cloth across her forehead as she cried, holding her hand to let her know she wasn't alone.
Slowly the others began to filter in, none bothering the two on the couch as they waited for any news. By the time Grissom came, fifteen minutes had past. Jessica had stopped crying but still seemed to barely be there.
Saturday January 22nd, 2005
9:35 a.m.
Dallas International Airport
Sighing softly Grissom picked up his bag before turning to Nick and Jessica. "We have a car waiting for us at Economy so..." he trailed off.
Nick nodded as Grissom took the lead. Letting a hand fall to rest against the small of Jessica's back he guided her behind their 'fearless leader', at least the majority of the time. Twenty minutes later the three were on the road heading for Baylor Regional Medical Center at Grapevine.
As they drove Jessica thought back on the last few hours, starting when Grissom had joined all of them in the Break Room.
Grissom sighed before looking up at them. "She's alive...in bad condition according to the officer I talked to. And an ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital. But she's alive."
"Where is she?" asked Jessica quietly, her voice slightly hoarse.
"Dallas," Grissom answered before they heard a knock on the door. Turning they found the Sheriff there.
"Grissom, can I talk to you for a moment?" the man asked and Grissom nodded before rising and following the other man into the hall, closing the door behind him. Everyone remained silent as they waited, and minutes later Grissom returned, the Sheriff not following him.
"What's up?" Catherine asked softly.
"Nick and I are on assignment. Catherine, you're going to be in charge for a while," Grissom began before looking over at Nick. "The Sheriff is sending us to Dallas. Sara is our only link to the Night Stalker, and you know the local authorities. Not to mention this is one of our own who's there." Nick nodded in understanding, but otherwise remained silent.
"I'm going with you," commented Jessica as she sat up.
"Jessica..." Catherine spoke up in concern.
"Yes you are," Grissom answered. "MacWhitter and the Sheriff have been in communication. He's sending you to Dallas. Sara is also the only link to Birchwood," he continued with a smile.
"Thank you," replied Jessica
Grissom nodded before turning to the others. "We'll see you guys soon, and keep you updated. Nick, Jessica, we better go get our things together. We're on a plane leaving in an hour."
Nick and Jessica nodded before rising, Nick offering her support before they left to get their things. Warrick, Catherine, and Greg all told Grissom to give Sara a hug for them before he left as well.
During the flight Grissom had explained exactly how things were worked out. MacWhitter, Jessica's supervisor made arrangements with the Sheriff to send two of his people in Frisco to cover for both Grissom and Nick. And he put Jessica on vacation so she could go. In reality, MacWhitter talked the Sheriff into letting Grissom go, Sara would need people she trusted there in Dallas for her to make it through giving the information she knew about Birchwood-Night Stalker.
The fact that the three could be there to get information on the person that haunted San Francisco and Vegas was simply an extra bit of luck in MacWhitter's mind. But for the Sheriff it was the major point, hence Grissom's explanation that that was why they were going.
"Jessica?" Nick called her softly back from her thoughts.
"Hmm?" replied Jessica turning to look at Nick
"We're here," he continued.
"Okay," she replied
Nick nodded and got out before opening her door and helping her from the vehicle. Joining Grissom the three made their way inside the building before Grissom left to talk with the receptionist. He returned a few minutes later.
Grissom smiled slightly before starting to speak. "She's still in surgery. But we can wait in the waiting room on the second floor. A few of the detectives are there as well," he explained before Nick led Jessica to the elevator as they walked over and went up to the second floor. Grissom led them down the hall to the room and they entered. Grissom headed over to the detective across the room as Nick led Jessica to a chair and sat her down.
"You okay?" Nick asked softly as he sat down next to her and took her hands in his.
Jessica merely nodded, not trusting her voice enough to actually speak
Nick smiled softly and just held her hands as they waited for Grissom to return. When he did a few minutes later he was accompanied by two detectives, one Nick was surprised to realize he recognized. Gary Mitchell was a long time detective with years in the department. His partner, Jarod Malone had joined the force after Nick had left the city and gone to Vegas.
Introductions were made, and a small bit of teasing was exchanged on Gary's part about how much Nick had changed, mostly about his current lack of hair. After a few moments of silence Gary and Jarod exchanged looks before dragging over two chairs as Grissom took a seat.
"Ms. Sidle is still in surgery as I'm sure you heard downstairs," Jarod began after a few moments. "Our people are looking for Mr. Harwood now, as well as going over the hotel where we located Ms. Sidle."
"We learned a few bits of information about the situation from San Francisco and Vegas, so we would welcome any information you can give us," Gary added.
"After Ms. Sidle is out of surgery of course," Jarod continued.
Grissom nodded before glancing over at Nick and Jessica. "Certainly."
"Detective Mitchell?" a voice called from the doorway and Gary rose before making his way over to the doctor who stood there. They talked for a number of minutes as the four remained silent. Finally Gary made his way back over to them before sitting down.
Grissom started to speak up when Gary raised a hand to stop him. "Why don't we move this to another, more private, room," he suggested as Jarod raised an eyebrow in his direction before nodding. Grissom, Nick, and Jessica followed as he led them to an empty patient room before Grissom asked him what was going on.
Gary sighed softly. "Look, you are here not just as Ms. Sidle's friends and co-workers, but to investigate the man who took her, who we all believe to be the same man who left a series of incidents in his wake in both of your cities. Normally I suppose we might not tell you what I'm about to, but you're CSIs here on business as well and so..." he trailed off for a moment.
"When we arrived at the location where Ms. Sidle was, Gary answered the phone and spoke with you Dr. Grissom," Jarod began. "I called in for emergency services before running over to the far side of the bed to check on Ms. Sidle. Ms. Sidle was bound, her hands tied to the headboard, her ankles tied and attached to a second rope that was attached to a ring on the floor. Ms. Sidle was laying on her stomach so to speak, and the headboard had fallen over on top of her."
"What else?" asked Nick. It was evident in his voice that he was in 'Scientist/Criminologist' mode, as he gave Jessica's hand a reassuring squeeze.
"It was later learned that Ms. Sidle had indeed been raped, and sodomized," Jarod began sadly. "There is evidence as well that she has been subjected to rape numerous times in the recent past, as well as physically abused. Her right arm was broken in three places tonight. However, the doctors right now are more focused on the injuries to her head."
"How long until Sara's out of surgery?" questioned Nick.
"She's out for the moment. There was extensive swelling of Ms. Sidle's brain; her doctors chose to remove a small piece of her skull to allow room for her brain to swell. They placed the piece of her skull in her stomach. At the moment all they, and we, can do now is wait. They are unsure as to when she'll wake up, probably not in the next few days at least. Eventually they are going to have to perform another surgery to reattach the piece of her skull," Gary explained. Nick and Grissom both took a double take when they heard that.
"Is there going to be any...brain damage?" Grissom asked softly.
"We won't know until she wakes up," Jarod answered honestly.
Before any other questions could be asked there was a knock on the door and the doctor who had spoke with Gary popped his head into the room. "Detective," he began nodding at the two before looking over at Grissom, Nick, and Jessica. "Ms. Sidle is in a room. You can see her for a few moments, but only one at a time."
"Griss," started Nick, looking over at his boss and friend. "I think Jessica should go first."
Grissom nodded in understanding as Jarod rose. "Ms. Harrison, if you like I can escort you to Ms. Sidle's room."
With a nod, Jessica rose from her chair, a reassuring squeeze on her hand from Nick, and followed Jarod from the room.
Jarod led Jessica down the hall and into an Intensive Care room where Sara was lying on the bed, leaving her with a small nod, closing the door behind her. Jessica slowly made her way over to the left side of the bed, pulling up a chair beside her friend who was hooked up to numerous machines, her body severely bruised under the various bandages, her right arm in a cast lying across her chest on top of the blankets. Jessica carefully took Sara's left hand in hers as she sat down next to her.
"I'm so sorry Sara. I should have seen the signs but I guess I didn't because it would mean I would have to accept the fact that we suffered from the same symptoms, our reasons are different of course but the effects were the same. I guess that's why we were drawn to each other like we were. I promise you, we'll get John. I swear it to you that we will get him," she promised as she finally let out all the tears she'd been bottling up since her breakdown when they had heard the latest attack over the phone. "Why didn't you tell me? Why Sara...why..." she sobbed as she laid her head down on the bed next to Sara's hand.
It was Nick who found Jessica. They had decided Grissom would go last, so Nick was sent for his turn five minutes after Jessica had left. Jarod had let her have her privacy and was only watching the door from across the hall. Sighing softly Nick walked over and gently ran a hand across Jessica's back as he knelt next to her.
"I can't lose her Nick," pleaded Jessica quietly as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. "I've lost too many already and I can't lose the only family I have left. Not like this...oh God, not like this."
"Shh..." Nick whispered. "She's going to be fine. We won't lose her. You won't lose her." Receiving no response Nick sighed softly. "Come on Jessica, I'll take you back to the hotel."
Jessica nodded into Nick's shoulder before pulling back enough to wipe away her tears. After doing her best to wipe away the tears that did not seem to want to stop now that she had let them fall, Jessica let Nick help her to her feet and lead her from the room, a supportive arm around her waist, holding her close.
Grissom handed Nick the keys to the car as they passed by before making his way to Sara's room. Nick in turn took Jessica to the hotel, leaving her in the car long enough to check into the hotel and receive the keys for their rooms.
"Stay with me?" asked Jessica quietly when they reached the door to her room. "Please...I...I don't think I can stand be alone right now."
Nick nodded and carefully led her over to the bed where he sat up and held her as she cried herself to sleep. When he heard a knock on the door sometime later before hearing Grissom's soft call he realized the other man must have put together where he was. He left her as he went to the door and joined Grissom, handing him the third key.
Grissom took it with a half sort of smile-like thing before moving on to his own room. Nick looked back at the now closed door, realizing he still had her key and entered the room once more. Setting it down on the table by the bed he looked at the door that joined his room to her's, a natural occurrence in many hotel rooms. Glancing at her he took a chance and unlocked the door before moving to his own room. After he prepared himself for bed he looked at the door joining his room to her's on his side. Making the decision before he could talk himself out of it he opened it and left it open, opening the door on her side as well.
Just in case...
Turning his light off he laid down and tried to fall asleep, and not think about the sight of Sara on that hospital bed and Jessica crying her heart out beside her.
"NO! Please...don't...no...leave them...please just leave them alone...NO MOMMY!...you're hurting her...please stop, you're hurting her...Daddy please make them stop...please Daddy, make them stop hurting Mommy...DADDY!" Jessica whimpered, trapped in nightmares from her past.
Nick woke and looked around wondering why he had awoken before he heard Jessica. Rising he quickly made his way into her room and knelt next to her, brushing a hand across her forehead as he called her name. "Jess, it's okay. Wake up Sweetheart..."
"NO!..." cried Jessica once more as she suddenly sat bolt upright, finally breaking free of her memories. "Oh God...no...Mom...Dad..."
"Shh, it's okay Sweetheart," Nick whispered as he brushed the hair from her face.
"I can't do this Nick, I can't...I can't lose Sara too..." cried Jessica as she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her upraised knees.
"Oh Jess," Nick murmured as he rose and sat on the side of the bed. "You won't lose her Baby. I know Sara, she won't leave us," he smiled slightly.
"You promise?" Jessica asked, her voice very quiet and distant.
"Cross my heart," he promised with a smile.
"Good," replied Jessica as she crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
Nick smiled and let his head rest on her's as he wrapped his arms around her back. "So, how often do you have sleepovers nowadays Ms Harrison?" he teased lightly. "And where's my pint of ice cream? Aren't those mandatory at slumber parties?" he pouted.
"Number for the 24 hour room service is next to the phone," replied Jessica, quite content to stay where she was.
Nick laughed before reaching over and dialing the number. "Yes, can I get two hot fudge sundaes?" he asked when he reached the person. "Anything else?" he asked Jessica.
"Extra chocolate?"
Nick laughed. "With extra hot fudge please," he continued before hanging up the phone. "So...what else do you women do at sleepovers? And no, you aren't giving me a makeover," he added with a grin.
"Would you mind just holding me for a while?" Jessica asked quietly.
"Not at all," he answered honestly as he pulled her close once more.
After he gave Nick the keys, Grissom slowly made his way to Sara's room. He had heard about her injuries, and his mind had prepared him for what waited there…someone just forgot to tell his heart.
Sara was hooked to a number of machines, a ventilator, heart monitor…an IV was attached to her left hand…He remembered seeing her after the explosion at the lab. And he had thought he'd never have to see her in worse shape, in the hospital again…But she was.
And she was in even worse shape now…and once again there was nothing he could do to help her…or catch the person responsible. The lab explosion had been an accident. But this one wasn't…
Sitting down next to her he sighed softly. What was he going to do now? Taking her hand in his, he just let the reassurance that she was alive lull him into some sort of sleep.
Waking a few minutes later to find the nurse standing next to him, he smiled apologetically. Rising he reached up to gently brush a kiss on her cheek before leaving the room. Gary gave him a ride back to the hotel and he hunted down Nick in Jessica's room to get his own room key before heading over there. After a shower he collapsed on the bed and tried not to think about Sara in that bed at the hospital. A losing competition, but he had to try. Eventually he fell asleep, when he didn't know.
A few hours later he woke to find a call from Gary on his cell. Getting dressed he headed over to Nick's room first. Finding no answer at Nick's room Grissom moved on to Jessica's, and was surprised to have Nick answer the door. Although he managed to keep his surprise to himself and only raised an eyebrow in question at the younger man. Lowering his eyebrow he stated his reason for waking them. "I thought I'd come see if anyone was up to breakfast before we go to the hospital to see Sara before heading down to the station and lab."
Fifteen minutes later, Nick led Jessica into the lobby and over to where Grissom was waiting for them. "All set."
Grissom nodded and smiled a welcome before they went to the car. After a quick breakfast and an even shorter time at the hospital checking in on Sara who was still unconscious, they made their way to the station and lab to offer any help they could along with information on John Harwood.
The day progressed and after another visit to see Sara before being shooed away by nurses the three returned to their hotel once more. Grissom returned to his room to call home and fill them in as Nick took Jessica back to her room. "You going to be okay?" he asked softly as she stood in her doorway.
"Honestly?" asked Jessica. "I have no idea."
Nick smiled softly. "I'm here if you need me Baby."
"Thanks."
"Always."
Friday January 28th, 2005
3:58 p.m.
Hospital
Over the next few days, the three helped out as they could, stayed with Sara as much as allowed, and otherwise remained in their hotels. Each night Jessica woke Nick with her cries and he stayed with her for the rest of the night. Each night the bond between them grew, and they let the other further into their hearts. Meanwhile, Grissom remained abnormally silent, keeping to himself with whatever feelings he had. He had enough trying to bear with his emotions, he couldn't let himself share them with the other two who were there. One, it wasn't in his nature, and two...it just might be his undoing.
Two weeks after the accident, there was no trace of John Harwood to be found, and the swelling on Sara's brain had gone down enough for them to reattach the piece of her skull. Now they only had to wait for her to wake, and see what injuries they might discover when she opened her eyes. At the same time, the nurses had been exercising her legs and arms to keep her muscles from deteriorating.
Grissom was sitting with her two days later while Nick and Jessica were at lunch in the cafeteria. When he felt the pressure on his hand the first time he wasn't sure if he was imagining things until he felt it again and lowered the book he had been reading to look into a familiar pair of eyes. "Sara?" he whispered shocked.
She smiled slightly and he grinned in relief. "I'll be right back," he promised as he rose and rushed to find a nurse. Minutes later he went in search of Jessica and Nick while the doctors examined Sara. Finding them in the cafeteria his smile was their first clue that something had happened.
"She's awake?" asked Jessica tentatively at seeing Grissom's smile.
"She's awake," he answered.
Jessica was out of her seat in a heartbeat, moving faster than either Nick or Grissom had ever seen her move, and rapidly making her way down the hall away from the cafeteria.
"Think we should go after her?" mused Nick with a chuckle. It was only then he realized Grissom was gone as well. "Oh hell, they are not keeping me out of that room because the maximum occupancy is two and they made it first," he grumbled as he followed them, although suddenly thankful that the rest of the team was still in Vegas. He could just see Warrick suggesting a bet over who would get in first and how they would get those two out...although at the same time, he knew that the answer to both had to be Catherine.
When Nick arrived at the general vicinity of Sara's room, he found Grissom and Jessica pacing the width of the hallway as a nurse stood outside Sara's door, arms over her chest. "You're gonna get the same answer they did. No one can see Ms. Sidle until the doctor is done with his examination," she called and Nick just held a hand up in surrender.
Glancing at the two he smirked softly. "So, how many ways have you two figured of how to dispose of the bodies?"
Grissom turned and glared at Nick before turning back to his pacing and Nick suddenly wondered if he had just joined the list of bodies that needed to be disposed of.
Before he had a chance to question Jessica, the nurse turned to speak with the doctor before nodding towards them. Dr. Rizvi looked over to them and smiled before turning back to the nurse. Going back into the room she made her way over to them and informed them it would be a bit longer until they could see her. So they might as well make themselves comfortable.
Nearly half an hour later Dr. Rizvi returned and made his way over to them finally. "Ms. Sidle is awake as you know. We're going to be running a number of tests over the next few hours, but you are welcomed to spend time with her for now. Just don't tire her out," he reminded them before making his way past them to deal with other things.
The poor nurse barely had enough time to get out of the way before the three of them were at the doorway and making their way into the room. Sara was sitting up laughing softly as the nurse shook her head before heading down the hall. "Decide to give up the CSI life and take up torturing nurses for a living?" she asked with a half-smirk.
"Well actually, I hear it makes a halfway decent living," Nick replied as they moved into the room.
"I'm not porcelain loves," Sara whispered seeing the look in her best friend's eyes that showed she was arguing with herself over whether to throw herself at Sara or not touch her for fear of hurting her. Jessica smiled before taking the first option and Sara laughed softly as she wrapped her good arm around Jessica. "Hey Jyn girl," she whispered in Jessica's ear.
"Oh Sara," whispered Jessica. "Thank God you're alive. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"I know Jyn, I know," Sara soothed softly. "Hey, you know me. I'd never leave you forever. I don't give up on anything I've worked at. And after nineteen years I got too much invested in this to just leave forever and be stuck watching you make mistakes from above where I can't tease you unmercifully," she teased hoping to bring a smile to the other woman's face.
"Hey!" cried Jessica in mock outrage as she sat back. "Harrison's never make mistakes. You know that. Besides you owe me an apology."
"I do?" Sara asked tilting her head as she thought. "Nope, can't think of a thing...mind helping me out seeing as we both know Sidle's never makes mistakes either," she shrugged and smirked lightly.
"For sending me to Vegas where I have had to deal with a certain Greg Sanders trying to get me to go out with him and what's with not telling anyone there that you have a friend who could pass for your sister? Do you know how much grief I've had because of people thinking I'm you. I think I gave pretty much the entire team a heart attack that first day, course I should have known something was up given the way the receptionist reacted to seeing me," explained Jessica.
"What? They needed a good shock. Besides, Greg is harmless," Sara waved it off with her good arm. "And come on girl, admit it, you loved that look on their faces the first moment they saw you and nearly peed their pants."
Jessica seemed to sit and think about it for a minute. "True. That was quite priceless. Griss here seemed to be the only one that didn't think I was you at first. And I think this other one here might have something to say if Greg doesn't stop trying to hit on me soon."
Sara looked over at the two men and smiled. "Surprised he hasn't said something to Greg already."
"Who says I haven't already?" asked Nick with a laugh. "That boy needs to learn to take no for an answer."
"You ever notice the man didn't tell Greg to take a hint for me," Sara pouted slightly before yawning. "Sorry," she apologized sheepishly.
"No need to apologize Chica Marie," smiled Jessica. "You've been to hell and back."
"That's true," Nick agreed softly.
Sara smiled softly as she nodded. "Well hate to wake and kick you out. But I have a theory. You two get out of here. I need to ask our fearless leader a few things anyway..." Sara trailed off glancing at Grissom before looking back at the two. "But before you go. You two men, out," she ordered. "I need to talk with Jessica about something..."
Nick raised an eyebrow before turning and hightailing it out of there. Even an injured Sara was not a woman he wanted to mess with. Grissom took a few more moments before nodding and following Nick, closing the door behind him.
"Okay Sara, spill," ordered Jessica. "You just woke up girl so what's with the male eviction here?"
"Well, besides the fact that I know you don't want this conversation around men...or even other women for that matter...nothing," Sara shrugged with her good arm before frowning slightly. "Jyn...you know I love you girl and would kill to see you happy. And yeah I've only been awake what half an hour...but you're glowing you know that?"
"Glowing?" asked Jessica in total confusion. "Are you sure you're not still suffering from head trauma?"
Sara frowned slightly at the latter comment before shaking her head. "Trust me, you're glowing is not related to head trauma. And you are. Not literally I suppose. You're just...radiating happiness. It's not something I see in you all that much Chica," Sara shrugged once more. "Look, I don't know exactly what is up with you and Nick. But he is a good guy, one of the best. And if you two do get together...I can't imagine a better couple to reach their old age together," she added with a soft smile. "But Jess...don't make my mistakes."
"Your mistakes? Sara what are you talking about?"
"Trust him Jyn. God knows neither of us trusts easily...and look where that got me? No doubt I killed any chance of a relationship with Grissom, and by running I led John right to me. And yes, you don't have a psychotic uncle tracking you down, but Jess...you have demons too. Let him help you with them...It might be the best thing you ever do with your life," she trailed off softly.
"I want to Sara. Oh God I want to. Nick is the first guy that's even seemed interested in me and he's the one that's kept me together ever since we found you but..." Jessica trailed off, dropping her gaze to her hands.
"But there are things you haven't even told me," Sara supplied softly before reaching out and taking one of Jessica's hands. "Jyn...follow your heart. But don't take too long. By the time you find the strength...it might be too late," she trailed off with a sad sigh, a knowing sigh. "Enough sad talk. I've said my piece; let you know that I approve whole-heartedly of this...if you choose to take this path. You have my blessing," she added with a half-smirk, half-grin. "Go have fun love. And don't worry about me. I'm awake, I'm not going anywhere. Ten thousand horses couldn't pull me away now that I finally have the chance to watch you be the one with a good guy chasing you," she added with a wink.
Jessica couldn't help the small laugh that escaped. "Shall I send Griss in then?"
Sara just nodded in reply as she leaned back against the pillows. "See you in the morning, Jyn girl."
"Bye Sara," replied Jessica as she rose from her spot on the bed and made her way towards the door. "Hey Griss, Sara wants to see you."
"Thanks." Grissom answered before entering the room.
"You ready?" Nick asked softly.
"Yeah. Uh Nick, can we head back to the room? There's a...something I think I need to tell you," Jessica told him nervously.
"Sure," he smiled softly. "Feel up to another sundae?" he asked softly as he turned and offered his arm. "Figure least I can do after our dinner was interrupted is provide desert. And maybe we can sneak Sara one tomorrow."
"Sure, that...that sounds good," replied Jessica distractedly as she took Nick's arm.
Nick smiled softly and decided to remain quiet on the trip to the hotel, letting her be with her thoughts.
Twenty minutes later found the two back at the hotel waiting for their ice cream to arrive. "Nick I...there's something..." Jessica trailed off with a groan. "God, how do I do this," she mumbled under her breath as she dropped her head into her hands.
"Sweetheart, why don't you just start at the beginning and work you're way to the end. Or just start wherever you want to. Whatever it is... it's okay," he soothed.
Jessica took a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping that it would help calm her frayed nerves. "I'm sure you're wondering why I reacted the way I did whenever Sara...whenever Sara called."
"She's your best friend. All of us freaked hearing..." Nick offered. "But something tells me there's more to it for you..." he trailed off unsure. "Jess..."
"My parents died when I was seven," Jessica said out of nowhere after a few minutes of silence.
"Wow," Nick murmured surprised. "I'm sorry," he continued after a breath.
"There's more," Jessica told him quietly.
Nick nodded softly, reaching over to take one of her hands in his own for support.
"Some guys broke into our home one night and my parents came home earlier than they were supposed to. Walked in on them by accident," explained Jessica. "The guys...the ones that broke in...they...went after my parents. They tortured my father. They made him...made him watch as they...they took turns ra...raping my mother before they ra...raped her together before kill...killing them both," explained Jessica as she broke down in tears.
"Oh Sweetheart," Nick whispered as he reached over and grabbed a box of tissues before gently hugging her.
"When I heard...heard Sara on the phone...it all just started coming back. I couldn't stop it, I tried but it just wouldn't go away. I've lost my parents, my guardians, I couldn't face losing Sara too."
"Oh Jess. You won't lose her. We won't leave you," he whispered brushing a hand over her hair and back.
"You don't know that," argued Jessica as she stalked to the window. "Everyone leaves me eventually when they learn about what happened."
"Sara didn't," he called softly. "Not everyone leaves you Jess."
"Sara doesn't know," replied Jessica softly as she looked out the window. "Nobody knows."
"How much you wanna bet she doesn't care. Something tells me nothing you could say would ever make her leave. If someone truly cares about you...they wouldn't leave because of something that wasn't your fault," he challenged carefully.
"I don't think I can take that chance Nick. I can't risk telling her, not now, not after everything that's happened. She would be so disappointed in me and I can't live with that. Sara's the only family I have left. I'm not about to risk losing that over this."
"Jess..." Nick began with a sigh. "I don't think you could ever lose her. That she would ever be 'disappointed' in you. Look at everything in your lives, for her to be disappointed in you, you'd have to be disappointed in her...she's the most caring person I know, Sweetheart. She'd never leave you. I know it as sure as I know my name or the fact that Grissom knows more about bugs than I can ever know about video games."
"I can't do this anymore," cried Jessica as she collapsed to the floor beside the window. "I've run from the past for so long that I don't know what to do now that it's staring me in the face once more. No one cared when it happened so why should anyone care now? I don't even know if I could find the words..."
"It's okay," Nick murmured as he moved over to sit next to her. "You don't have to right now. A lot has happened lately Sweetheart. Don't rush yourself," he whispered. "And people care now. And whoever didn't care then, they needed to reprioritize their lives and pull their heads out of their asses," he added seriously.
"I can't talk about this anymore," cried Jessica quietly as she dropped her head into her hands.
"Shh, you don't have to," he whispered as he pulled her close.
"Sara?" Grissom asked softly as he entered the room and she looked up at him. "How are you feeling?"
Sara snorted softly. "I'm starting to hate that question," she sighed as she reached over and picked at her arm cast. "How are you feeling?"
Grissom shrugged as he sat down. "I'm okay."
"You're as terrible a liar as I am," Sara replied with a half-smile.
Grissom smiled in response before sighing. "What's going on Sara?"
Sara shook her head softly as she looked across the room. "Should have known. As much as Jess knows me...she's not exactly at her peak when it comes to judging Sara Sidle as of late. And Nick was never near the level that you and Jyn were."
"Are," he corrected gently.
Sara glanced at him before looking away once more. "I'm sorry."
"For?" he asked after a moment. He had to ask, there was so much she could be apologizing for.
Sara snorted, but Grissom still heard the cry that caught the back of her throat. "There are so many answers to that question. For leaving without a word, for that morning, for calling when I did..."
"Oh honey, don't be sorry for that," he began sadly. "You had your reasons for leaving, both times…and...never apologize for calling."
"I shouldn't have gotten you involved though," Sara answered softly.
"I'm always involved Sara. Whether I know or not, whether we haven't seen each other in days or years…I'll always be involved."
"You shouldn't be though," Sara countered as she glanced over at him.
"What's going on Sara?" Grissom asked softly. There was something going on…he didn't know what, but he could feel it.
"My doctor didn't tell you everything. Per my request," Sara began softly.
"Whatever it is honey, you know we'll be here for you," Grissom whispered as he started to reach for her hand before pulling back unsure.
"I'm pregnant Griss," Sara barely whispered, but in the silence of the room he had no trouble hearing her.
"Oh Sweetheart," Grissom whispered as he took her hand. "It's going to be okay."
"The doctors are suggesting I have an abortion. For my health and the well-being of the child if it were born," she continued after a moment.
"You can, it's your decision," he offered unsure of what she wanted to hear.
Sara shook her head. "I can't…I don't believe in abortions. Not after everything I've seen over the years. Well, I do believe that everyone should have the choice, I just don't believe in one...not in my life...I could never do that…" she trailed off with a sigh. "Besides…as much as I can't destroy a child of mine, even if its father is John…how can I risk destroying a child of mine when it's father is someone more precious to me."
The statement behind her words hit him like a ton of bricks. The child she carried…might be his. Glancing up, he found her watching him, fear in her eyes. Throwing his mind's reaction out the window for one of the few times in his life, he reached out with his free hand and gently cupped her cheek. "It's okay, Honey. Everything's going to be okay," he whispered and she smiled half-heartedly. "That night…it's something I'll always treasure. And if…if we created a child," trailing off he smiled softly and for the first time she smiled back, really smiled. "For all my degrees and knowledge. Sometimes I just don't know what to say."
"That's okay, sometimes words aren't needed," Sara assured him softly before glancing away.
"There's something else isn't there?" Grissom asked concerned.
Sara took a deep breath and closed her eyes. After another breath she opened them and looked at him. "I'm seeing a surgical ophthalmologist in a few hours. When I woke up…" trailing off she sighed softly as she looked away from him. "Something's not right…everything is darker than I know it should be. My doctor is worried that there might be some damage from the head trauma."
Grissom nodded taking it all in before sighing under his breath. "It's going to be alright Sara. No matter what, we're here. And you're going to be alright," he promised softly as she looked over at him and gave a half smile.
"You have more faith than I do."
"Then for now I'll believe for both of us, until you can believe for yourself."
Sara nodded before smiling. "I'll hold you to that," she whispered as she lay back against her pillows and yawned once more.
"Get some rest, Acushla," he murmured as she looked up at him swiftly.
"All these months, I'd heard you say that in my dreams, I can hardly believe I'm hearing you say it now," she whispered.
Grissom smiled softly. "It's true, even if the first time I used it was when we were together that night, I've thought of you, and called you that in my mind hundreds of times over the years," he admitted as he stroked his thumb over her hand gently.
"What does it mean?" Sara asked curious. "And what language is it? It's so beautiful."
"Beautiful words for a beautiful soul," he countered as she flashed a large smile his way. "Irish-Gaelic, it means quite literally, 'Beat of my heart'."
"So does that make me the beat of your heart?" she asked as she studied him thoughtfully.
"Every moment of every day," came the quiet admission.
"So when did you learn Irish-Gaelic?" she asked after a few moments of companionable silence.
"College. I already knew Spanish from growing up in Marina Del Rey. And I already knew sign language and Latin as well by the time I was in college. I wanted to learn an unusual language; everyone else was taking German, French, Russian. I decided to learn Gaelic, in particular Irish. My mother's family was Irish on her mother's side," he continued with a one-shouldered shrug.
"So very Grissom," she laughed softly as she yawned once more.
"Dochtúir na sláinte an codladh," Grissom murmured as he reached up to brush her cheek lightly with his knuckles.
"What does that mean?"
"Health's doctor is sleep," he explained as she smiled. "We'll be here when you wake up."
Sara nodded as her eyes fluttered, trying to stay awake. "Don't tell them yet."
"Promise."
"Okay," she whispered before drifting off. Grissom sat back in his chair and thought over everything. Trying to figure out what to do next.