When they crawled into the blankets that night to go to sleep next to the fire, Jaime found himself pulling her a little closer to him than he had the last two nights. He wanted offer some sort of comfort after all that she had just told him. He was relieved to find that she didn't resist being held, she wasn't stiff. She was relaxed and he soon felt her warm tears falling onto his neck and chest. After a while she stopped crying and he thought she must be asleep.
"Jaime?" Sansa spoke up quietly.
"What is it Sansa?"
"Thank you...for getting me away from him...thank you."
He couldn't say anything. Just saying she was welcome didn't seem like enough. So he just squeezed her a little tighter in response.
"Ow!" She said, still having some lingering pain in her ribs but apparently not too much as she soon started to laugh. "You're supposed to be rescuing me not crushing me"
"Sorry… though I suppose the songs that they write about the golden handed Lannister who crushed the Stark girl might be more interesting than the ones about them riding endlessly through the woods where nothing happens to them at all." Jaime pointed out jokingly.
"I think I'd much rather have nothing happen at all then have…" Sansa trailed off and he knew he meant she'd rather have had a different life in many ways.
"Then I'll try to keep the rest of our journey as boring as I possibly can for you." He said.
"I didn't say I wanted boring." She protested. "I only meant...uneventful."
"I think I can manage that too but only if we get enough sleep." He said, smiling.
She took the hint and went silent. Soon after, they were both asleep.
The following day Jaime had to hunt for food. They were growing lower on supplies and he thought it would be just over a week before they reached the coast. He had a crossbow which would do well enough on small game like rabbits and the like. He left Sansa at their campsite and was gone for several hours. Two people traipsing around in the woods would have been too noisy. It was better if he went alone.
It was the first time that Sansa had been separated from Jaime in all this time. She was a little irritated with herself to discover that she missed him.
Jaime returned with a rabbit and they had meat cooked over the fire to eat that night.
"The last time I ate rabbit at the fireside like this was when I was on the kingsroad after leaving Winterfell for the first time." Sansa commented.
"I barely remember seeing you on that journey." Jaime said, he remembered Arya because she had never stayed still for long. Everyone had seen her everywhere.
"That's probably because you were-" Sansa stopped herself before going on. It had been a long time since she had come so close to speaking her mind like that without even thinking it through. "Because you were busy. I'm sure your sister kept you occupied." Her eyes met his and she waited to see what he would do. He barely reacted. Either Petyr had told her yet another lie, or Jaime was very practiced at telling this one, or he had no idea what she alluding to.
She sighed. "You asked me not to lie to you. If I ask you a question will you do me the courtesy of not lying to me either?" She asked him kindly.
"I will be honest where I can though there are some questions that I won't answer at all."
"Only questions about your sister?"
"Sansa I… why does this matter so much to you? Why do you even care about these rumors?"
"Cersei hates me. She believes I had a hand in killing her son. Apparently you don't share her opinion on that or you wouldn't be helping me...maybe she could convince you to change your mind..."
"Not anymore she can't." Jaime said. "I don't even speak to her now."
"Why?" Sansa asked sadly. If she had any living siblings she couldn't imagine not speaking to them on purpose.
"Because…" Jaime was almost going to lie to her. He knew though that if he wanted Sansa to trust him it would be better to give her the truth, even if that meant she was disgusted with him in the end. Even if she was, she would at least know that he tried to be honest with her. "Because Cersei was the only woman I ever loved and as soon as I was taken prisoner she began taking other men to her bed….I can't forgive that." He said sadly and waited for the disgust to register on her face.
Sansa only seemed surprised. "Oh...so Joffrey was your son?"
Jaime only nodded.
"And Tommen and Myrcella?"
"Yes, they are mine too, but I was never allowed to be their father. I didn't come find you to avenge Joffrey's death if that's what you're worried about. I suspect the Tyrells had more of a role in it than you did and even if you did help kill him...he had your father beheaded and he treated you monstrously...I can't really blame you for that…"
"So you don't want to know if I had a hand in it? He was your son...and the king…" She said with disbelief.
Jaime shrugged. "You forget, I'm not so opposed to killing kings as most people."
Sansa didn't quite believe he meant that. "It's not such an easy thing to kill a person...I know I've only done so once and perhaps it becomes easier for a knight after many battles and many kills...but you have been too kind to me for me to believe that you care nothing for death of your son or of king Aerys...you can't possibly be as heartless as you pretend to be."
"Perhaps not heartless, just reckless." He admitted. "And you're right, it's no easy thing to kill a person, especially not when it is a person that I was sworn to protect…"
"Then why…?" She wanted to ask him why he had killed the mad king.
"Do you know where the wildfire at the battle of Blackwater came from?" Jaime asked her.
Sansa remembered the battle well. It was the night the Hound had come to her room and offered to take her away. "No, I have no idea."
"It was hidden under the city in caches by order of king Aerys many years ago. He had ordered the entire city burned rather than let my father take the city at the end of Robert's Rebellion...Aerys gave the order to burn everyone and the pyromancer tried to leave and carry it out...I killed them both so that the city could not be burned… that's why I killed the mad king…"
"Why did you never tell anyone this?" Sansa asked him. If his story was true then it meant he had saved every in the city by breaking his vows and killing the king. She could think of no better reason to break one's vows.
"It wouldn't have mattered, not to men like your father who cared far more about honor than intentions."
Sansa knew he was right. "I suppose that's true. Even when I was child, if one us children disobeyed him he never cared to hear the reason why. His judgement was always inflexible, we were not permitted to make excuses or offer any explanation. He was a good father but he was not perfect. He probably wouldn't have listened if you had tried to tell him… but I'm listening."
"Then I thank you. No one has cared to listen to me in a long time." Jaime said to her.
