Me: Sorry it's taking for me so log to update! " I still live with my mother and she says 2 hours of homework before any computer... aka 30 minutes of computer. then I have to finish all my homework, and I NEVER do my homework! sniffle I'm tryiiiing...

Sasuke: Go cry, emo kid. Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden doesn't own Naruto. I do.

Zabuza: LET THERE BE WAVE ARC!

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(Touka POV)

"So..." Kakashi said slowly. "I suppose this is where we fight?"

Zabuza's eyes squinted-- I think he was smirking. "Let's have your little otaku fight my prodigy, hmm?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I don't think Touka should fight Haku. She's not strong enough. Sasuke, on the other hand..."

I giggled. "Sasuke had the highest scores at the academy." 'Heh. That's right, let Sasuke fight him... I need to be in the same position as Sakura for this to work.'

'Oh great. Another plot?'

'Well I'm not just gonna let Haku and Zabuza die, right? And I wanna sock Gatou at least once. He's a bastard. Hmmph... thinks he can kick Haku's corpse...'

'Hah! And you wonder why your friend the Gaara fangirl hates Deidara.'

'Shut up,' I thought. "Anyway," I drawled, "I could just scream and you'd all drop, so I suggest you all don't piss me off."

"Actually," Zabuza said, "The demon brothers are half a mile away and they'll hear your scream, but won't be hurt by it. If you make us all drop, they'll put earplugs, come and kill Gatou. You'll be killed, and so will your silly little teammates."

"Damn," I cursed under my breath. "Earplugs. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Coz you're stupid," Sasuke muttered back. I turned my head, stuck out my tongue as far as possible, and blew a raspberry at him.

"Immature, too," he said, wiping spit off his face (heh. I win).

"Sasuke!" Kakashi interjected. "Since Touka's being immature and can't do anything useful besides scream, you're fighting Haku."

"How do you know that?" I yelled. But I let Sasuke step forward anyway.

It was important that the most of this fight remained the same, you see.

(Sasuke POV)

I stepped forward, as did the masked boy, Haku.

I glared at him, but he had no visible reaction. We started fighting with basic taijutsu, matched pretty evenly (though he had a slight advantage-- SLIGHT).

"You're slow," I told him. This was a mistake-- he grabbed my hand and started making hand seals with the other.

One-handed hand seals? There's something I should learn... I'll ask Touka later. Since she's such a Haku fangirl, she probably knows how it works. Heh.

(Touka POV)

'I wonder if Haku will teach me how to use one-handed seals if I give him more peaches,' I wonder absent-mindedly, taking a stick of gum out of my kunai holster and starting to chew.

The gum is important. Remember the gum. It will come back later.

(Sasuke POV)

Then, the masky guy attacked me with ice needles, which I dodged only very narrowly.

"You could have mentioned that!" I yelled at Touka, who merely blew a bubblegum bubble and grinned.

"Yes, but where's the fun in that?" she said.

I would have retaliated, but I realized suddenly that I was surrounded by mirrors. Made of ice.

"Oh, s--," I murmured.

"Language!" Touka yelled. She has this thing with swearing. Wuss.

The masky guy raised his hand and hit me with needles, which I quickly threw out.

"Please cease to oppose us," he said. "I don't want to hurt you."

...0.0

(Naruto POV)

Dammit, I was late!

'Sasuke better not die before he decides how he feels about me. That would be taking the easy way out,' I thought, nearing the bridge.

There was Sasuke, trapped in a bunch of mirrors, which all had Haku's picture on them-- wait! That was Haku! Weeeeird.

I threw a bunch of slightly explosive kunai to the floor of the bridge to announce my coming.

...0.0

(Touka POV)

A bunch of annoying, loud explosions (or were they art?) announced the coming of Uzumaki Naruto.

"I'm here!" he announced.

"You know," Zabuza told Kakashi, "Your students are idiots."

Kakashi sighed. "To some degree, yes," he said woefully. "But, they have their good points. Sasuke here was at the top of his class. Touka figured out how to use chakra and imitate Sakura's behavior based off of whatever she saw of her in anime form." (I grinned and waved). "And Naruto... is the village's number one hyperactive unpredictable ninja!"

Naruto bowed.

"Naruto!" I yelled. "I'm stuck guarding the old guy to do your best!"

"Okay-ttebayou!" he yelled back. "But you have to buy me ramen later!"

I smiled softly to myself. 'We'll see..."

'He'll remember. Sooner or later, you'll have to buy him ramen.'

'Or at least, Sasuke will.'

Inner Sakura chuckled. 'Good plan.'

...0.0

(Sasuke POV)

I rolled my eyes at Naruto's loud, annoying, (adorable) behavior. The masky guy (his name keeps escaping me) kind of shook his head, before reoccupying himself with the act of turning my into a human pincushion.

"Oi, Sasuke!" I heard a whisper in my ear. "I snuck in to help you!"

Naruto was sitting right next to me.

"Dobe," I said, "Sneaking is only good if you're sneaking out of a trap. Sneaking into a trap is pointless."

"Oh, give him credit," The masky guy said, "I didn't notice him sneaking in."

Naruto grinned. "Thanks, whoever you are!"

"My name is Haku," the masky guy-- err, Haku-- said tiredly.

"Okay, sure whatever," Naruto said dismissively. "Oi, Sasuke-teme! I've got an idea!"

He grabbed me by the shirt (hehe) and whispered in my ear...

...0.0

(Kakashi POV)

Naruto formed several different shadow clones, them sent them all at Haku's mirrors.

It didn't work. They all poofed away.

THEN, Naruto formed several different shadow clones, them sent them all at Haku's mirrors.

It didn't work. They all poofed away.

THEN, Naruto formed several different shadow clones, them sent them all at Haku's mirrors.

It didn't work. They all poofed away

THEN, Naruto formed several different shadow clones, them sent them all at Haku's mirrors.

It didn't work. They all poofed away.

THEN, Naruto formed several different shadow clones, them sent them all at Haku's mirrors.

It didn't work. They all poofed away.

... Do you get the general idea? As this went on, I considered to telling Zabuza that he'd been right about my students being idiots, but I decided against it for the sake of my pride.

Every time Naruto made another shadow clone, Touka giggled.

"Shouldn't you give him an idea?" I pointed out.

"Don't worry," she said, "Everything will be all right-- I know almost exacatacally what I'm doing."

I rolled my eyes. "That's far from promising," I noted.

...0.0

(Touka POV)

Time (like 3 episodes) passed by. Naruto and Sasuke pulled the same stunt, freaking over and over and over (I quote Naruto Abridged: 'if it doesn't work the first 5 million times, why the hell do you think it's gonna work now?' or something like that). Kakashi and Zabuza started fighting, Zabuza put up some mist so it was harder to see.

I stood there in front of Tazuna, making my little stick of gum as malleable as possible.

Then... Sasuke got hit with an abnormally large number of needles.

...0.0

(Naruto POV)

Haku raised his arm and threw in my direction. Sasuke, being the noble stuck-up bastard he is, decided he thought it would be cool to use himself as a human meatsheild against this attack.

The senbon rained down on the teme form all sides. They hit him in the back, on the sides, on the arms, the legs, and the neck. He gasped and slumped over.

"SASUKE!!" I ran to him. "Dammit, Sasuke! Why in hell did you do that?!"

"Naruto..." Sasuke uttered, his breathing becoming shallow, "I wanted... to protect you."

"Why?" I asked, shaking, tears clouding my vision. "Why would you do something like that?"

Sasuke raised his arm slowly to stroke my cheek. "I... figured it out, dobe," he said slowly, his voice growing fainter. "How I feel about you. Naruto, I... love..."

And Sasuke spoke no more.

"You..." I turned to Haku. "You... killed... him!!"

"I did not wish to," Haku said, "But this is the way of the shinobi. We are merely tools to kill, tools to carry out tasks."

I didn't listen. All I saw was Sasuke, cold on on floor or the unfinished bridge.

"You... bastard," I growled. "I'll KILL YOU!" I began to see red. Energy swirled around me, making red spirals towards the heavens. I charged at one of Haku's mirrors, hitting it with my fist. All of the mirrors shattered, and Haku was sent falling backwards.

His mask fell off, revealing the face of the girl-- I mean, boy-- who I met in the woods the other day.

...0.0

(Touka POV)

May I intercept momentarily to point out that I did not, in any way, interfere with Episode 12 and the pink-yukata'd Hakuness thereof? (though I did get to see him in the smexy pink yukata... / yay)

Okay, just clearing that up. Back to the plot!

...0.0

(Naruto POV)

"You!" I gasped. "It was you all along?"

Haku smiled weakly. "The shinobi art it deception," he reasoned.

I blinked. 'Didn't Touka say something like that the other day when she lied about stealing Kakashi's dessert? ... Ha! Bet she memorized all of Haku's lines or something.' "That's just an excuse for lying!" I yelled.

"I did it to protect my precious person..." Haku said, glancing over at Zabuza quickly. "To defend his dreams."

...0.0

(Touka POV)

'Zabuza you lucky bastard. What do you have that I don't?'

'Well, for one thing, he has a giant--'

'Inner-chan, don't even go there.'

'--Cleaver sword. I swear, that thing's just a cheese knife!'

'... I don't think that's what the problem is, Inner.'

...0.0

(Naruto POV)

"But," Haku continued, "It seems I failed... kill me."

"WHAT?!" I yelled, "Listen, just because you fail one mission doesn't mean you have to DIE!"

Haku lowered his gaze to the ground. "I was born in a village in the snow," he began. "In the Water Country, there are harsh feelings towards those with bloodline limits because of the rebellion during the Great Shinobi War sixteen years ago." (a/n: I made the amount of time it's been since the war up)

"My mother discovered my... inheritance, and she feared for me. She tried to hide it while she could. But, my father... eventually found out. He came home drunk one evening and... killed my mother. He would have killed me, too, but my bloodline..." he shuddered. "Protected me. The entire house was ripped apart by huge spikes of ice that killed my father."

"After that, I couldn't stay in that town for fear of them finding out about me and finishing what my father had started. And, for a few years after that, I was... alone in the streets until Zabuza found me. He taught me everything he knew, and then some. He's my precious person-- the reason I become strong."

Haku's gaze lowered to the ground. "But if I can't protect him from one little gennin, then he's better off without me. I am useless."

"But..." I said, "How does that give me a reason to just kill you like that!!"

Haku smiled sadly. "Sasuke-san... was one of your precious people, wasn't he Naruto-kun? Avenge him."

...0.0

(Touka POV)

I tensed. Here was the point at which I had to act.

...0.0

(Kakashi POV)

Meanwhile, I had Zabuza secured to the ground by my nin-dogs, and chidori was charged. I ran at Zabuza...

...0.0

(Haku POV)

Naruto-kun's fist was about to hit me, ending my shame, when I noticed Zabuza-san's predicament. I grabbed his fist to block it from hitting.

"Sorry Naruto-kun," I said, "But I can't die just yet!"

...0.0

(Kakashi POV)

A few seconds before I hit Zabuza, his little masked minion formed a hand-sign and disappeared.

I knew what he was going to do-- kill himself to save his master, who in fact I would just kill later. But, I was running at full speed and couldn't stop in time to prevent myself from killing him. Oh well...

But, just as I was about to hit whoever I would have ended up hitting, something knocked my lightning-covered fist to the side, so it didn't hit anybody besides themself-- a blur that grabbed Haku as it whizzed past me.

The blur hit its back on the rails, panting considerably and bleeding profusely from the shoulder.

It was Touka. She gently set Haku, who looked more than a little shocked, on the ground, and sank down.

"Gatou doesn't intend to pay either of you," she breathed, "So don't die. That's a helluva waste of ninja, and I don't like it when people die pointlessly."

She turned her head towards Naruto. "And Sasuke-kun isn't dead," Touka added, grinning, "He'll wake up a few minutes or so after Gatou shows up with his cronies to see how Zabuza's done killing Tazuna, which he won't have. And he'll send the cronies after Zabuza..."

"And Haku," Zabuza pointed out.

"Yeah, Haku-kun too," Touka laughed, "But I kinda had the feeling that I was the only one who cared."

Zabuza glared at her. "Haku is like a son to me," he growled.

Touka blinked. "Yes, but in the original you didn't seem to realize this until after he died."

Zabuza shook his head. "Unfortunately, I can believe that."

"Yeah, that's coz..." Touka shrugged. "Nevermind, I have a feeling it would be a pretty bad idea to insult the Demon of the Mist."

Zabuza smirked (or at least his eyes made it look like he was). "If Gatou isn't here in five minutes, I'm not going to believe you."

"That won't be necessary," said a voice from behind me. "As I am already here."

...0.0

(Touka POV)

I whirled around (clutching my wounded shoulder) to see a small man with spiky light brown hair and ugly sunglasses.

"Gatou," I hissed. "Why don't you do us all a favor and crawl back into the whole you came from?"

"You wound me," he said sarcastically. "What did I ever do to you?"

"It's not so much as what you would've done to me..." I said, "...It's your blatant lack of respect for the dead or wounded that disgusts me. Not to mention the fact that you sell drugs. Have you any idea what drugs can do to a person's life? Because of you, a whole lot of people will have to go into rehab, which I've been told isn't fun."

"What kind of friends did you keep back home?" Kakashi wondered.

I shrugged. "My cousin used to smoke."

There was an awkward silence (so a gay baby was born) until one of Gatou's cronies spoke up.

"So," he asked his employer, "Can we kill them now?"

Gatou waved a hand vaguely in our direction. "Yes, by all means. Particularly the orange-haired girl. She pisses me off."

The thugs all charged in our direction, and Haku predictably went right to Zabuza's side, where the two were killing like there was no tomorrow.

"I wanna help!" Naruto said loudly, forming the seal of the ram. "Kagebunshin no jutsu!"

Kakashi nodded, and formed the same seal himself. "Kagebunshin no jutsu: Kakashi style!"

The thugs all stopped in their tracks-- all the ones after them. There were still some after me, though.

Smiling grimly, I spit my gum at them and formed a hand seal carefully (it was hard to move one of my arms thanks to Kakashi-sensei's chodori).

Reaching into the chakra in my wad of gum with my mind, I yelled, "KATSU!"

Need I say the gum exploded? (... I hope Deidara doesn't find out about this. If he knew that I was copying him, he'd probably kill me.)

The explosion hit a couple people, didn't do too much damage, but it scared most of the thugs away.

The rest were chased off by some of Naruto's kagebunshin.

Satisfied with my day's work, I closed my eyes fell asleep, feeling myself slide to the ground once more.

...0.0

(Sasuke POV)

At first, everything was black. Then, I felt something hard under my back-- I was still on the bridge. I opened my eyes and sat up slowly...

I was still stuck full of needles. Slowly, I pulled them out, one by one, while watching some of Naruto's kagebunshin chase some random, large, muscle-bound men around. What the hell happened while I was out?

Eventually, the men all disappeared off onto some ship docked near the bridge, and Zabuza pushed some short guy with Shino-like glasses into the ocean, and Naruto put the shadow clones away. Which I found relieving, since this meant I knew which one was real.

I just stood there until Naruto realized that I was, in fact, standing there.

"S-Sasuke?!" he yelled. "I thought you were dead!"

"So did I," I reasoned.

"But..." Naruto's eyes misted over. "You're... you're not."

"No, Naruto," I said softly, "I'm not."

I walked over to him and gently wrapped my arms around him. "I'm right here."

A tear traveled down Naruto's cheek, and we stayed like that for about five minutes before someone interrupted our moment.

"So!" Kakashi said, the expression of his one visible eye implying a smile, "Who's going to carry Touka-chan back to the house?"

I blinked, and then noticed that Touka was asleep on the ground, with a gigantic wound on her shoulder that was bleeding profusely.

Dang. How could I have missed that?

...0.0

(Touka POV)

When I woke up, I was in the guest room at Gat-- I mean Tazuna's house (why do I keep confusing those two?). Sunlight was floating through the window (implying either dawn or dusk), there was a massive bandage on my shoulder, and I was wearing the same filthy clothes I had been wearing before (which was alright, since I don't want Kakashi-sensei undressing me).

The next thing I notice was a person sitting in a chair, reading a book. This person had pale skin, dark blue hair that hung in there face, and was ignoring me completely-- there was only one person it could be.

"KURO-CHAAAAAAAAAN!" I squealed, death-glomping the person despite the fact that I was considerably wounded.

"Huh?" the voice mumbled, "What?!"

"Kuro-chan!" I laughed, hugging the person tighter, "I missed you so much! How'd you get here? How is everyone back home? Has my sister become emo yet? Does my brother want to kill me because I left? I'm so glad I get to see you again and before you ask I didn't r--"

"Touka?" The person said, "I'm Sasuke."

"...Oops." I froze, then slowly let the avenger out of my grasp. "Sorry?"

"Yeah, okay," he said, waving his hand vaguely.

'He looks really gay-- oh yeah hey that reminds me!'

"So!" I said cheerfully, grinning as annoyingly as I could, "Did you make up with Naruto yet?"

"I... I think so," he said. "He hugged me, that must mean something. Right now, he's in the sitting room with Haku and Zabuza talking about something or other."

I blinked. "Have you even talked to him yet?"

"A little..." he said. "Who's Kuro-chan!"

"One of my very best friends back home!" I said. "I've been friends with her since we were six. She's the one who showed me this series! If it weren't for Kuro-chan I wouldn't have a clue in hell what was going on around here."

"Oh-kaaay..." Sasuke said, "Now why did you think I was her?"

"Because you look like her and because whenever I broke and arm I'd wake up the next morning and Kuro-chan would be there reading a book so she could ask me--" I formed a hand sign and made a floating head of Kuro-chan appear.

It smirked and said, "So, klutz, what happened this time?"

Sasuke's left eyeball started twitching. "She really does look... and sound... like me..."

"I know, right?" I giggled. "She sometimes acts like you too-- Hey klutz get a move on you're dragging the whole class behind. Hurry up stupid I have asthma and I'm ahead of you. Touka you IDIOT don't mix those two chemicals!"

"Did you mix the chemicals?" asked a voice form the doorway.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," I said casually, "And yeah, I did. Sent purple gook flying everywhere-- I could only get it out my hair by cutting it short, hmmm?"

"Ouch," the grey-haired slacker-sensei acknowledged. "Well... Sasuke, I suppose if you want you can go back to Naruto now you can, if Touka's awake."

"Thank you," said Sasuke, "I think I will."

...0.0

(Zabuza POV)

Within a couple of weeks, Tazuna had finished the bridge-- if anyone else tried to attack him, I killed them because I'd been offered room and board. I guess I'm kind of an unofficial bodyguard or something now.

Haku'd been making himself scarce, though, since Touka got her arm healed-- he'd go walking with her in the forest or some other mushy crap like that. He's got it so bad...

When the bridge was finally finished, though, I was able to find him on the edge of the forest, staring mutely after the gennin team as they left for Konoha. His face was pale, except for a stain across his cheeks, and the hand that was covering his mouth.

"What's eating you?" I asked casually.

Haku closed his eyes for a minute, then took a deep breath.

"She kissed me," he said.

I blinked. "... Ah."

"... And I'll probably never see her again," Haku sighed, looking down.

I smirked under my bandages. "Aren't the Chuunin Exams in Konoha this year...?"

...0.0

...0.0

...0.0

Me: yaaaaay! I finished the wave arc!

Kuro-chan: Hey guys! remember me? When Touka comes back, she'll find out I'm in Konoha!

Sasuke: Which reminds me. What were you going to tell me you didn't do?

Kuro-chan: did it start with an 'r'

Sasuke: ... yes?

Touka: lol we're not gonna tell him are we?

Kuro-chan: nope.

Kankurou: hey guys! I'm in the next chapter right?

Touka: yup! next time-- KURO AND GAARA AND CHUUNIN EXAMS (oh my)! Keep reading!