You were the one...
Who taught me what I don't need
And I thank you-I thank you for that
You were the one...
That brought me to my senses
And I thank you-
Now just leave me alone
"Thank You"
~Sister Hazel~

"Woah. What?" Jake turned to look at me. "And where'd you get that sweatshirt from?"

I dropped my purse and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I said, you have to go, Jake. And it doesn't matter where I got the sweatshirt."

He stood and slowly walked toward me.

"Why do I have to go? I don't need to be back to Seattle for another day."

He stood watching me, carefully studying my face.

"I can't do this with you anymore, Jake. I can't give and give and not get anything in return. I've never asked you to be monogamous. That's my fault, and I take responsibility for those decisions. But you've never given to me the way I've given to you. I've given you more emotional time than I should have without realizing it. I let you walk all over me and I don't even stop it from happening. So you need to go. I can't see you for a while. I care too much and you care too little."

His entire face contorted.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me, Bella?!" His voice rose and I had to force myself not to turn and run. "You think Hollywood is going to stick around? Seriously Bella. Get a grip and join the fucking real world."

I felt my knees shake slightly before the anger punched me hard in the gut and throbbed in my chest.

"No, Jacob Black. You get a fuckin' grip and get the fuck out of my house. Don't come back. You are no longer welcome here."

He leaned into me, his face inches from my own, causing me to choke on my breath. His voice became quiet and smooth.

"Just because your pictures are floating around the internet hanging out with that piece of shit, doesn't make you special, Swan. Give me a call when you figure your shit out." He blew past me and stopped at the door.

"And tell that bitch of yours, I'm watching and I will pound his pretty little Hollywood face into the fuckin' pavement the next time he gets in my way."

The door slammed and I stood shaking for a minute before running and opening it again, digging the spare key from the flower pot and then locking myself in the house.

I ran to the back door to be sure it was secure and then closed the curtains on all of the windows. I grabbed my phone from my purse and went to my bedroom and laid in my big, empty, messy bed and sobbed until I couldn't get another tear out. I laid there for hours in the dark, curled up in my own personal hell.

How the hell did I get here? Everything was fucking peachy and then, BAM!, it all went to shit. But I had to be honest if I wanted to fix this. I wasn't peachy. Life wasn't peachy. I was lonely and sometimes I was miserable.

I turned on my phone to call Alice. She'd be closed up by now.

I immediately had three messages pop up.

Alice: I Love you.

Dad: Mom's making spaghetti on Friday night. Give her a call to RSVP. Love you.

Dur: I'm glad you made it home safely. Let me know if you come back to PA in the next week or so before we leave. I had good time, Bella. Thank you.

I closed out of my messages and hit speed dial 1, she answered before it could ring once.

"Bella?"

"Yeh. Hey Alice."

"Oh my god! Something's wrong. What's wrong? You've been crying. I can hear it. Give me ten. I'm on my way. Don't even try to stop me."

The call died right then. Leaving me shaking my head and smiling.

I stretched my aching muscles and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I stared at my red rimmed and puffy eyes. My hair was lumpy and falling out of the ponytail holder, and I looked like a little kid drowning in her dad's clothes. I pushed the grey sleeves up over my elbows and splashed cold water on my face; I patted dry, fixed my hair into a messy bun and made my way to the kitchen to make some tea.

I heard the front door open, close and lock.

"Bella?" Her voice was soft and quiet. Quite the opposite of what had happened here earlier in the evening.

"In the kitchen Al."

She peered around the corner and in seconds we were hugging and crying and my face hurt.

"Bella, I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have flipped like that. It wasn't cool, but I love you and I don't want you to hurt." Her voice was rushed and yet oddly soothing at the same time.

"It's okay. Really. I get it. I was being an idiot. I just didn't want to admit that things were that out of control. That I had become someone who just allows a guy to walk all over her."

"Oh Bella. You're just human. You can't help the way you feel. Sometimes our feelings blind us to the reality of certain situations or people."

The tea kettle started to whistle and Alice made herself busy pulling mugs and tea bags and pouring water.

We each picked up a mug and made our way back to my room.

We settled into the bed, after changing the sheets and blankets at Alice's instance, which made me giggle. We sipped at our tea and while I stared up at the ceiling, Alice spoke.

"Um, Bella? Who's sweatshirt is that?"

I could hear what she didn't want to say.

"It's not Jake's."

She smiled awkwardly.

"Actually, it's Dur's."

That caught her attention. Her head spun so fast I thought she was going to spew green pea soup at me.

"Come again? You mean, Edward? As in, Cullen?"

I nodded and she squealed.

"Alice. No. Nothing like that. He's totally not my type. But he's nice to be around."

"You saw him today. Did you go to PA? Did you call him?"

Alice ooh'd and ahhhh'd when I told her about my day in PA and hanging out with Edward. And when we got to the part about Jake, I thought she was going to get in her car, track him down and murderize his ass in his sleep.

"No one needs to be cruel like that. He is such a loser."

I looked up at the ceiling again and then asked the question I'd been dying to ask all night.

"So, is it true? Are there pictures of me on the internet?"

"Wellllll, yes. But don't worry, they aren't that bad. And by the way, Isabella Swan, you never told me about the little date you had with Edward a few nights ago at the lookout."

Oh fuck me.

"On the rock?"

She nodded.

"It wasn't a date. I was wallowing in self pity because my best friend was off getting laid and he just showed up. They have pictures of that?" I sighed. "I don't want to see it. Not now anyway. I just want to sleep."

Alice shifted and pulled my blanket over my legs.

"I'm going to sleep in the spare. You want to get out of that sweatshirt before you fall asleep?"

I burrowed further into the covers and closed my eyes.

"Too tired. Leave it. Love you."

My eyelids were glued shut before Alice had even flipped the light off.

"Love you too, Bella."

xOx

I blinked my sleep blearied eyes into focus and stared at the grey light coming through my curtains. I hadn't gotten enough sleep. I could feel it in my body, in my head. I stretched slowly under the covers. I don't think I moved an inch after the lights went out, I was still curled up on my left side in the fetal position. I lay silently in my bed for a few minutes and finally sat up when my bladder would no longer allow me to rest comfortably.

I trudged down the hall, still in yesterday's clothes, rumpled and gross. What do I care, it's not like I'm trying to win a beauty contest. As I made my way to the kitchen I heard voices, hushed tones.

"You didn't say anything to her, did you?" A male voice whispered.

"Of course not." Alice snapped back.

"Say what?" I leaned against the breakfast bar and eyed Jasper and Alice "What didn't you say to me?"

Alice sighed and slapped her hands on her hips.

"He's just worried that I would flip out on you again and say something mean." She turned her hot gaze on Jasper. "And I didn't."

Jasper held up a bright pink box in my direction.

"Donuts?" His smile was wide. "Alice told me you had a long night, figured this might put a smile on your face."

I grinned.

"You win." I leaned over and peered into the box grabbing the chocolate covered doughnut. "You can move in, so long as you bring me donuts every morning."

They both laughed at me as I moaned in pleasure when I took the first bite.

"You ladies are on your own today. I have a few things I need to do. When do you work, Alice?"

"I'm taking Bella's shift and Paul is taking mine, so I will be closing the wine bar tonight."

I dropped the sugary confection onto a plate.

"You're taking my shift again? You don't have to do that, Alice."

"Nope." She popped the 'p'. "I have this under control. You need to relax and take a day off and just veg. Watch some movies or something and don't stress." She smiled.

"Alrighty then." I shrugged and went back to my doughnut while Alice and Jasper kissed goodbye.

I was quietly grateful that I didn't have to do anything today. Or tonight.

xOx

"He said he's going to kick your ass if you get in his way."

"What the bloody hell does that mean?"

I was beyond angry. I was seeing red and could do nothing about it, as I was stuck on location and couldn't find the time to get away.

"Kick my ass if I get in his way!? He's in my damn way. I ought to be the one kicking his ass." My voice rose and carried through the room.

"Apparently he cornered her in her house when she got home and went off. Said some nasty shit. Alice spent the night with her. She looks like hell, man."

"Fuck fuck fuckity." I inhaled deeply, attempting to push my anger down as I paced back and forth in the small hotel room. "Do you know what it's taking to keep me here? Not going out and finding that fucker and pounding my fist into his damn face?"

"Seriously though, Edward, she's gonna be fine. She's tired and worn out emotionally. Alice is going to cover her shift tonight, she's going to lay low. You need to just calm the fuck down; it's not going to do anyone any good if you come out guns'a blazin'."

My fingers gripped the hair on my head tightly. I pulled once and sat back on the bed, resting my elbows on my knees.

"Keep an eye on the house, mate; make certain he doesn't come back. If he does, call me."

"You know I will. By the way, I believe you may be missing a hoodie?"

I could hear the smile that he wore.

"Ah, yes. She took off last night. I'm having a hard time keeping myself together around her. I was certain I would attack her at dinner."

"Take it slow, bro. She's not in the right frame of mind right now to have you humping on her leg like an overgrown dog."

I laughed.

"Right. I'll remember that. If she ever gives me a chance. She swears up and down I'm not her type. I don't blame her though. I can imagine she doesn't want to be around the craziness of my life. Just wish I could change her mind."

I looked up as Peter came into my room and held a finger up.

"One day at a time, Edward. She'll come around. If not, she's a hella cool chick to have as a friend."

Friend. Right.

"Alright, look, I've got to run back to the set. Thank you, Jasper for everything. You're like a brother to me. I owe you."

I heard him laughing as I disconnected the call.

….

I sat alone during a late break, smoking and drinking coffee. I pulled my phone out for what seemed the thousandth time today to check my texts.

Bird: Alice gave me the night off. Bored. What are you doing?

I nearly dropped my coffee on the floor. Jasper had been keeping an eye on her house all day; he said no one came and no one left. She didn't even open the curtains, which was just disgustingly sad to me. Someone who she considered worthy enough to give herself to had just trashed her soul. If I could, I'd turn him inside out and leave him for dead. Wanker.

Right now I am taking a break. Smoking and drinking coffee. Nice of Alice to give you the night off.

I pulled my phone back and took a photo of the paper coffee cup I was drinking from and sent it along with the text. I glanced at the time, almost nine, wrap time was nine thirty and I couldn't wait to get away from the set. It had been a long day, holding my breath and waiting for random texts from Jasper to let me know what was going on.

My phone vibrated in my hand.

Bird: Yeh, it's nice, but I'm going out of my mind with boredom. You inspired me though to start a pot of coffee. Probably not the smartest idea so late.

Attached was a photo of a red coffee maker and a green mug sitting on a counter.

I grinned and wrote back quickly.

It's never not a smart idea to have coffee. I just got called back to set. If you're bored, I'll keep you company in about twenty minutes when we wrap.

I turned my phone on myself, smiled and sent the message.

Standing, I tossed the empty paper cup into the trash and walked back toward Peter. Just as I was about to stuff my phone in my backpack, it vibrated again and I couldn't help the laugh when I saw the photo she had sent. Sweet Bird, smiling with her signature finger salute. I saved it quickly and tossed my phone into the bag.

A/N
Ohhhhhhh... Jassssper and Edwarrrrrd... ;0 )

I am off for a vacation to see my wonderful family for a week. I will attempt to write and post while I am away, but I am making no promises. It is my brother's birthday and I haven't seen him or my sister in years. So sad, I know. ;0 )
I hope this will hold you over until next week if I can't get back.

Much love to my girl, Mustlovertp! I mustloveyou. ;0 )