AN: Thank you to M.D. Hudson, Gotsta Have My Hardy, Carlalalita, , MatthewReilly4Eva, Boolochka06, Lillythemarshmellowqueen, WannaBeBella13, HorsecrazyJr., moonfairie, Isha2008, edwardismyvampiresweetheart, LorilieDorran and Jesusrocks for the reviews, alerts and favorites. Here's where it gets intense!
9. Apprehension:
"Renesmee, sweetheart, where are you?" My mother called to me, urgently, through the dense trees.
I frowned in the direction that her voice had come from. Why wasn't I with her already? And more importantly, why was I out in the middle of the forest? I wandered forward and entered the clearing that was all too familiar. Abruptly, I was on edge. My family stood in a line across the dark and cold clearing as snow began to fall onto the ground. In a blink of my eyes, the ground, which had been devoid of snow was now blanketed in powdery white. I wandered forward, my eyes on my perfectly motionless family.
I stopped beside my mother who didn't even acknowledge my presence. Her eyes narrowed where she stared out into the black night before us. I turned my head toward the line of trees that my entire family was focused on. Something warm and soft brushed against my arm and I looked to the side to see Jacob's massive wolf form standing beside me. His ears were flush against his head, which was bent down in an aggressive way as he stared into the tree line, too. A low growl slipped out of his snarling muzzle, his hackles raised.
The soft murmuring of cloth on ground made me turn back to the trees. They moved in military grace, not unlike the first time that I had seen them. Gray cloaks flowing around their weightless bodies elegantly, menacingly. I choked on my heart beat as I watched the Volturi guard fan out around us. Three black cloaked figures stood in the center of the clearing. Aro stepped up first, drawing back his hood with his odd chalky hands. His milky red eyes crinkled in a smile as he appraised us.
"And so here we are again," he smiled and Jacob growled beside me.
"No," I breathed.
Aro turned his eyes on me, his smile widening exponentially, "Ah, lovely Renesmee, a pleasure, as always."
"What do you want, Aro?" Carlisle called, his voice polite despite the frankness of his words.
"Don't you know?" This was directed at my father.
My dad hissed low and fierce, "You can't have her."
My mother grabbed me and pushed me behind her as she and Jacob growled at the same moment. A small figure ghosted to the front of the group. I didn't need to see the face under that hood, I knew it was Jane. As small hands pushed the hood of her dark gray cloak back, my suspicions were confirmed. Jane offered a sweet, gloating smile to my mother who hissed menacingly again, crouching low before me in a predatory manner.
"There is no need for violence, dear ones," Aro smiled that annoyingly fake smile, "Give the half-breed to us and we shall leave you in peace."
"You can't have her," my father said again.
Jacob started forward then, his huge body effectively hiding me from Aro's sight, and he from mine. I wasn't sure if I preferred this. I stood on my toes, trying to see over Jacob's hill-like back.
"Ah, I see that you still have your guard dog," came Aro's cheerfully snide remark, "But where is the rest of his litter?"
Jacob growled low again and I heard my father issue a soft warning to him. Jacob's ears twitched but he never relaxed his protective stance. Before me, I saw my mother stiffen. My eyes widened as I realized that Jane was trying to attack us again, much as it had happened before. A sickening realization hit me. They knew now. They knew how we survived last time. My father's thoughts turned frantic as I watched the scene through his eyes.
Demetri and Felix had moved up beside Jane as well as Alec. Alec's crippling mist had already begun to saturate the clearing between us. Jane kept smiling her sadistic gloating smile as she waited for her larger fellows to do their job. I watched along with my father as Demetri and Felix split off in opposite directions to circle us. Crap....How were we going to play this? I could see Demetri now as he edged closer to us on my side. Jacob followed his movement too, turning his whole body to keep the vampire in his sight.
My family collapsed the line, moving closer to one another, backs turned toward each other so that they could keep the Volturi from sneaking up on any side. Somehow, I had ended up in the center of the circle, protected by their own bodies. One by one, gray cloaks began to detach from the group to join Demetri and Felix. Without our friends here, we were the weaker side, clearly outnumbered. This was not going to end well.
A much larger circle of gray cloaks pressed around us. Alec's mist flared up and over my mother's invisible shield, trying to find a weak link in her armor. Jacob snarled in a bestial way as one of the cloaks brushed the edge of his snout. He snapped at the vampire but only caught the hem of the cloak as the vampire danced out of the way. The fabric tore as the vampire moved, revealing a slender woman whom I recognized to be Chelsea, her golden blond hair falling in straight lines past her shoulders. Her ruby eyes glared at Jacob as he spat the torn piece of fabric out of his mouth. His lips drew back over his teeth in a taunting grin.
One moment we were being circled and the next, all hell broke loose. I wasn't sure what had stared it, it all happened so fast, too fast, even for me. The guard were among us, grappling with individual members of my family. Jacob launched himself at Chelsea who collided with him easily. His jaws snapping inches away from her pretty face and she snapped right back, her teeth glittering in the frail moonlight.
I was flung backwards so hard that I collided on the snow covered ground with enough force to make me winded. My father never left my mother's side as she stood perfectly still as she tried to keep her shield strong around all of us. Alec was trying to use his gift still, sending his mist toward my family only. Demetri rushed toward my mother but my father blocked him, turning his attention on the other man in a desperate attempt to destroy him. Demetri was one of the guards that we absolutely had to destroy. With his death, there could be hope for the ones who survived, if any of us did. Felix and Emmett collided with each other with such momentum that when their bodies collided, the earth shook. Felix let off a deep laugh as he and Emmett wrestled, almost as if they were old friends enjoying a friendly round of sparring rather than trying to kill each other.
And then it happened, the one things that ruined any chance we had. As my father grappled with Demetri, one gray cloaked member rushed my mother. I felt myself cry out in abject horror as my mother went sailing to the ground. I was racing toward her before I made an conscious move to get there. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I got there but I knew that it was already too late. The one moment when my mother lost her concentration was all they needed to win. Alec's mist swirled around my family as all of the guards made a hasty retreat. All at once, every member of my family went still and silent, struck dumb and blind where they stood, caught in whatever move they had been making. All, save my mother. She turned horror struck eyes to me and tried to reach me.
I fell to my knees as I watched, helplessly as the three leaders drifted forward silently. Jane cackled happily as she sailed toward my mother, jumping on her back and taking her to the ground, holding her there as other guards joined in. A sound escaped my trembling lips and that brought Aro's attention back to me. He smiled up at me as Caius pulled out his silver lighter that engulfed my family in flames one by one. Aro's smile never faltered as Alec's mist evaporated in the air and the screaming began as my family's senses came back to them. Hot, blinding tears blurred my vision as I watched my family writhe and scream as they burned. My mother reached for me from her pyre, her mouth moving wordlessly.
Something hot and thick made contact with my hand where it lay motionless on the ground beside me. The ragged scream tore itself from my throat as I looked to see Jacob's blood coating my hand and his ruined body beside me. I heard an evil giggle and looked up to see Chelsea, her mouth and chin red with what I knew to be Jacob's blood. Rage filled my body in one hot boiling rush as I shot up to my feet. I glared at Aro past the flames and the thick, sickening perfume that was my family dieing. His smile slipped when my heated eyes met his but he quickly recovered. He extended one withered hand toward me.
"Now will you join with us, dear Renesmee," he called to me across the clearing.
I felt myself smirk as I carried myself toward him. He thought he had won. His smile turned from inviting to gloating as I glided across the clearing toward him. That same cocky, rage filled smile was still on my face as I made and abrupt turn and walked into the still smoldering flames where one of my relatives had burned. I didn't even scream as the flames ate away at me, but instead, I smiled. They would never have me, just like my father had said.
I woke gasping for air and so very hot, like I was on fire.
"Whoa, it's okay, Ness," came Jacob's voice from beside me.
I let out an almost hysterical giggle as I realized that I had fallen asleep at the bonfire. Jacob had me tucked against his body and was peering at me, clearly worried about my response when I had woken. He wasn't the only one who was watching me. I grinned at the pack as I straightened in my seat.
"Sorry," I replied, "I was having a silly dream."
The pack relaxed and I sighed. The lies really were getting easier with each new one that sprang from my lips. Jacob frowned down at me and I offered him a smile. His frown only deepened.
"I'm gonna take Nessie home, guys," Jacob said to the pack.
I opened my mouth to object but then hastily shut it. Home sounded like a good idea. I needed to see my family, make sure that they were still alive and well. The dream had been all too real, every touch, every sensation, every smell...all too real. As I stood up to follow Jacob to his car down the road, there was a chorus of good byes and I waved to everyone.
Once in the car, the silence was thick and for the first time, uncomfortable. Jacob started the engine without comment and he didn't speak until we were on the highway headed toward my house.
"What happened back there," he asked finally.
"I fell asleep," I shrugged, gazing out my window, trying to look bored...or tired or any other thing that would get me out of this conversation. Guilt hammered at my stomach in a near painful sensation, almost like cramps, though very different.
"I'm aware of that," Jacob replied, "And I know that you know what I meant."
I shrugged again, "Sorry."
"Ness..." He sighed, "Talk to me, baby girl."
"What about," I asked innocently.
"Renesmee," it was a demand this time. He wasn't letting this go. Gr-reat.
"What, Jacob? What?" I asked, nearly crippled with guilt, "I fell asleep, that's it. Why are you so worried?"
"Because you gasped when you woke up," he replied, "And then you laughed like you were happy to see me alive...What gives, kid?"
"Remember when you told me not to worry about stuff?" I asked, trying a last ditch effort to evade the topic and he nodded, "We'll I guess that my subconscious didn't get the memo. I just had an odd dream, that's all. Nothing to worry about, I pro..."
My throat closed up and I couldn't finish my sentence. I had started to say that I promised...but it was a promise that I just couldn't keep. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me and I very pointedly did not look at him. As I looked out my window, I frowned as I saw the side of the road getting closer to me. It took me longer than it should have to realize that Jacob had pulled over. I set my jaw and continued to stare at the now stationary trees.
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, look at me," Jacob demanded and I flinched.
I still didn't look at him, though I admit that I was worried about his reaction to that. He had never, ever called me by my full name. Not even my parents had called me by my full name yet, but then, I'd never given them any reason to. The silence was loud between us.
"Please," he whispered and that one word was my undoing.
With absolutely no warning, I burst into tears. Jacob made a startled sound as I broke down in the passengers seat, crying so hard that my chest hurt and the lump in my throat threatened to choke me. The car rocked and I was in Jacob's arms. He held me as I wailed, for that was exactly what I was doing, sobbing and making helpless noises as quickly as I could draw breath around the jagged clump of grief in my throat. I lifted a shaking hand to his face and played my dreams for him, all of them, unable and unwilling to keep the truth from him any longer. He, of all people, had a right to know what I was going through. Fresh anguish welled up inside me as I lay everything bare for him. I felt like I was going to cry myself to death.
"Oh, jeez, honey," he murmured into my hair, "Baby girl, I -- I'm so -- Jesus..."
I don't know how long I cried, only that finally, thankfully, I stopped. I was curled up in Jacob's lap. Sometime during my fit, we had moved to the backseat, so that he could hold me closer, comfort me more. I rested my head against his chest, his arms wrapped around me in that familiar, lovely way, one hand idly pressed against my cheek as his thumb trailed across my cheek bone.
"Are you feeling better," he asked gently.
"Absolutely not," I said, my voice a bit hoarse from all of the crying.
"Do you want to talk about it," he offered.
"What is there to talk about?" I asked, "I'm a half human, half vampire who is plagued with inexplicable nightmares of death and destruction."
"Are you going to tell your parents?" he asked.
"No," I said firmly, "No. I wasn't even going to show you but...I couldn't do it. It felt horrible to lie to you and besides, I think I owe you that much."
"Thanks," Jacob replied sarcastically.
"You know what I meant," I sighed.
"I know," he said, "I was just teasing you."
Another long moment passed without either of us saying anything. I was utterly content to just listen to his heartbeat under my cheek. That thick, steady beat was one of my favorite sounds in the whole world, next to my mother and father's voices. Jacob was running his hand through my curls, something he used to do when I was smaller to help ease me to sleep. The effect this time was something much different. It awakened something within me. Where his fingers brushed across my scalp, they left fire in their wake; a warm, tingling feeling that made me shudder.
Jacob's hand ceased its messaging path and I could feel him look down at me. I looked up at him and instantly knew that it was a mistake. His face was so very close to mine from this angle, his cupid bow lips so close. Before I realized what I was doing and much too late for me to stop it, I craned my head upward just enough to close the distance between our lips.
My lips brushed his at first, softly, hesitantly and he stiffened under my body but then, slowly, he relaxed against me. He moved closer to me, his lips sealed against mine and I let off a contented sigh as our lips moved together. This was right. This was what we had always been meant to share. My hand cupped his cheek as his knotted in my hair in a firm grip that was only just this side of painful, but somehow, it felt wonderful. And then it came to an abrupt end.
Jacob jerked back from me so quickly that, had it not been for the tiny size of the car, I would have ended up on the floor. He buried his face in his hands and shook his head. I frowned at him from my new position, half slung across the other seat, only my feet remaining in his lap.
"I can't," he said through his hands, "That was wrong of me and I apologize."
"Why are you apologizing," I whispered, trying very hard to conceal the hurt that I felt, "I kissed you."
He looked at me then, his eyes blazing with their own form of agony and I caught my breath. Why did he look like that? He had stopped kissing me, not the other way around.
"I didn't mean to...," he began, "I mean, I did, but...I just...We can't...You're dad is going to skin me alive and have Esme use my hide as a throw rug."
"Don't worry about it," I replied, my voice only minimally glacial, "I'll tell him the truth. It's not like it was your idea."
"Ness, don't be like that," he sighed, "Try to look at it from my perspective for a minute, okay?"
I just glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest, leaning my back against the drivers side back window.
"How old do I look to you?" He asked.
"Twenty," I replied, stating his actual age as I knew it.
"I said how old do I look," he reiterated.
"Twenty-three?" I asked, still missing the point of this stupid game.
"And how old do you look?" He asked.
"Um, I don't know," I shrugged because I actually didn't. I didn't really have many references to human ages, except my parents, whom I knew to be caught in the older stages of teenage years.
"Well, I do," Jacob replied, "You look like you're thirteen, Ness...that's a full nine years younger than me, appearance wise and it's an even worse gap between us when your actual age is concerned."
"So?" I demanded.
"So, I just can't...be with you...like that yet," he replied, "Plus, I promised your mom that I wouldn't, you know, be physical with you until you looked at least sixteen."
"But I love you," I replied lamely, "I know I do. I love you like my mom loves my dad and I want to be with you...Like they are."
"I love you, too," Jacob smiled but it disappeared right away, "But we just can't be together that way. Not yet."
"Well, that's not fair," I sighed, loosing momentum in my anger because I knew that he was right, but still, "Age shouldn't matter."
"But it does," Jacob replied, "And I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. I love you, I really do, but not like your parents love each other, not yet."
I huffed, "Fine. Can we just go home and try to pretend that that never happened?"
"I'll take you home, yes," Jacob nodded, pushing the passengers seat forward so that he could get out.
He held his hand out to me and I stared at it, still a tad resentful. He sighed and pulled his hand back, walking around the front of the car and starting it back up again. I crawled out of the backseat and pushed the front seat back where it was supposed to be, fastening my seat belt. I refused to look at him the rest of the ride home, too embarrassed, angry, hurt and scared to do anything but watch the Washington scenery fly by.
I trudged up the front steps of the big house, my mother's lullaby echoing in the air and opened the door, Jacob following behind me. His thoughts were jumbled as he entered the house, but he was still thinking about what had happened in the car. That was a huge mistake. My father's head whipped up from the piano as he glared at Jacob. I sighed and walked straight for him, touching my hand to his cheek before he could try and kill Jacob. I played my memories of the incident for him and he frowned as he looked up at me, his face softening when I displayed how hurt I was. He took my hand away as a tear fell from my eyes.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said gently, "But Jacob is right about this."
"Of course you'd say that," I murmured.
He smiled again and hugged me, "You did promise me."
"I did," I replied, "But I didn't know that it would be this hard."
"You have to be patient, my darling," he continued, "Don't rush this. Your mother and I would still like more time with you."
"You have time," I replied, but it felt like a lie. Aro's face flashed through my head like a warning.
My father frowned at me and I hastily changed my thoughts, focusing on Jacob, a subject that I knew my father would dislike most at the moment. My evasive strategy worked and he shook his head, but not in an angry way.
"Don't be so hasty trying to grow up," he said again, "You have all eternity for that."
"Where's Mom?" I asked, realizing that she wasn't in the room.
"She ran to the cottage to grab her first addition," he smiled.
And then my mother wandered into the room, her nose deep in Bronte's only novel. Well, at least she hadn't seen what had happened, though I'm sure my father would tell her later.
"Yes, I will," he replied, "Of course I will. There are no secrets between us."
Any response that I would have made died in my throat as both my father and I turned toward my Aunt Alice, who had gasped from the couch. Jasper was holding onto her as everyone gazed at her.
"What is it, Alice?" My mother asked, her book forgotten on the coffee table.
"The Volturi," my father, Alice and I all said together.
In my head, I could see everything that my aunt was seeing, though it confused me just as much as it did her.
"What about them?" Rosalie huffed.
"They're sending out the hunting party," Alice said, her eyes still far away, "They're headed to France, Paris, to be exact and then...nothing."
"What do you mean, nothing?" Jasper asked.
"I can't see," Alice replied, blinking as the vision ended, a hazy blank, "All I see is Demetri, Felix, Alec, Jane and Chelsea going to Paris, but when I try to see what they're hunting for, I get nothing. Paris is a blank."
All eyes in the room turned to me then.
"What?" I asked.
Who are the only people that Alice can't see? My father thought at me.
My eyes widened, Half-breeds and shape shifters.
"Oh no," I breathed, "They're going after the half-breeds."
"We can't know that for sure," Carlisle shook his head.
"Perhaps they might change their mind," Esme suggested, looking at Alice.
Alice was shaking her spiky head, "No, if they weren't sure, the vision would be changing but all I see is a void. I hate to say it, but I think Renesmee might be right."
"Can you see Nahuel?" My father asked and Alice gave him a sour look, "That's not what I meant, Huilen, maybe?"
"Edward," Alice sighed, "Remember when Bella was pregnant with Nessie and I said that I couldn't get a clear view of her future because she was pregnant with Nessie? Well that works the same way with Huilen. She's so close to Nahuel all the time that I can't see her."
My father looked at Alice then and quirked his eyebrow. Alice smacked her head.
"Right! Duh," Alice replied, "Sorry. I'll check."
The room went still again as Alice dazed out. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the image in her head.
"There is a small portion of South America blank from my sight," Alice chirped cheerfully, "Looks like we're in the clear."
"I wonder what is in Paris that is blocking your vision, Alice," Carlisle mused, "If the Volturi were going after the hybrids, I'm sure they would have started with Renesmee and Nahuel first. They know where they are."
"I wish I knew," Alice huffed, "Aro always changes his plans so often that all I see are glimpses. But then, he knows what I can do and I bet that he knows that I'll be watching them...He might be doing it on purpose...."
"I bet he is," I seconded her theory.
I really didn't like how well the Volturi knew my family. And after the fight in the clearing, they knew even more. Apprehension twisted in my stomach in a painfully, icy knot. They knew too much and now they were going after hybrids. They had to be. Alice's visions were never wrong.
"I'll keep a closer eye on them," Alice assured the room, "If they plan anything, I'll know and we can prepare."
My father pulled me down next to him on the piano bench and held me. I leaned my head on his shoulder and tried very hard not to think about what Alice had just said and even harder to block out my nightmares. I didn't want my family to know about them. I had a feeling that I would have a tough choice to make sooner or later. Somehow, I was betting on sooner.
AN: Uh-oh.