A/n: Okay guys...I'm sorry for this terrible chapter, it's like really bad. Not happy with it at all. But...I don't know, enjoy it anyway.
Blaine wrote for about five minutes, he kept sighing and scribbling things out, writing and then scribbling out again. The only sound in the room was his pen scratching and gliding over the paper and the sound of Kurt gently tapping at his Iphone as he and Mercedes continued to text.
Kurt sighed and Mercy told him that her phone was about too die, he sent one last text moaning at the fact that she always forgot to charge it before throwing his phone up onto his bed and biting his lip as he watched Blaine scribbling.
"Blaine are you...are you crying?" Kurt realized.
Blaine nodded, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve to remove the small glistening crystals that were tumbling down his cheeks, a few splashing onto his notebook below.
Kurt gulped feeling a bit uncomfortable, Blaine had warned him he might cry but what was he meant to do? Comfort him? Just let him write? "Are you okay?"
Blaine paused flipping a little further ahead in his book.
Just let me do this, I'm fine.
Kurt nodded at the message, "Okay," He whispered as Blaine flicked back to where he was, read the last sentence he wrote before he carried on.
Kurt tried not to stare at Blaine too much, his heart was thumping slightly louder then usual in his chest. He could feel each beat work it's way up into his throat creating a lump of nervousness and excitement, he tried to swallow around it and failed, causing him to choke slightly but he bit it back making his eyes water. He didn't want to distract Blaine in anyway while he seemed to absorbed by his writing, and also choking was kind of embarrassing and not exactly attractive-not the kind of thing you want to be doing around someone you really like.
Suddenly Blaine stopped writing and bit his lip staring down at the paper for a moment before he looked up and Kurt, his eyes slightly hesitant. He handed the notebook to Kurt slowly but Kurt put it beside him looking at Blaine intensely, "Look Blaine, are you sure you want me to read this? You can take it back if you want."
Blaine shook his head, wiping the remaining tears off his cheeks.
Kurt nodded starting down at the paper but not really reading it, feeling Blaine's eyes on him made him feel a little nervous, his heart picked up even more speed as he blocked the feeling of being watched and concentrated on the words in front of him.
Okay, so I have no idea how to start this umm...Okay, basically I lived with my Mom and my Dad and my older Brother Cooper, you may know him from the 'FreeCreditRating Today' advert jingle thing?
Kurt's head rose, "Your brother is the Cooper Anderson! Oh my God, he's like famous!"
Blaine's expression darkened and Kurt paused taking in his mood.
"Keep reading?" He asked judging my Blaine's reaction he wasn't such a big fan of his brother.
Blaine nodded again pulling his knees up too his chin and resting his head on them.
Anyway yeah so everything was...well it was great. Normal life and well then I started...liking boys, I was confused at first (obviously you've been through it too.) And after about two months after having these feelings I realized that I was gay. I'd always felt like my parents loved Cooper more, like I was second best. Whatever I did they always picked out my flaws, but anyway yeah so I finally plucked up the courage to tell them about my sexuality and my Dad...well he...kinda hit me.
Kurt's hand flew too his mouth his eyes widening as he continued to read.
He told me I was disgusting, that I had a disease that too stay the hell away from Cooper in case I infected him with it, and...well that hurt. A lot, not just the physical pain but, these people were supposed to love me, and they hated me. I didn't know what to do so I just started to stay out of there way as much as possible, I didn't like going down to eat with them so I stopped eating for a bit but, well I have an appetite like a horse so that didn't last long. And my Dad continued to beat me, saying it was for my own good, that maybe it would turn me into a proper man.
This was in the summer break when I told them, and when I got back to school everyone knew and I just knew that Cooper had told them. They teased me and bullied me, shoving me in lockers, telling me I was trash and throwing me in the waste bins, they said that everyone would be better off if I was dead and it got to the point where I believed them and actually started to think about...ending it. I was so miserable, there wasn't one trace of happiness in my life and I just wanted it all too end.
Kurt's eyes slowly filled with tears until they couldn't take any more and split down over his cheek, he let a stupid whimper of hurt escape his lips and felt Blaine take his hand squeezing It gently and frowning.
"Sorry," Kurt muttered wiping his eyes but the tears were replaced just as quickly.
He went back to reading, desperate for Blaine too have a bit more of a happier ending.
I basically turned into a slave in my own house, my Dad told me that I was no son off his and that would have too earn my keep. My Mom never really said anything too me, she didn't hit me but she just stood there and let it happen, she was way to busy giving Cooper everything that he wanted to pay any real attention to a disgrace like me. So I cleaned the house, cooked, ran errands for my parents and was basically Cooper's personal slave.
I didn't know what too do, Dad told me if I didn't do it then he'd chuck me out. I kept considering it but I had no where too go. No friends, no close family, no money. I knew I would just end up dying painfully on the street from hunger or from the cold. And then one time I was cleaning my Mom's china when I accidentally knocked over a plate and it smashed on the floor, and I knew that was it. My Dad would probably beat me too death. I grabbed some newspaper and did my best to clean it up without anyone noticing, in my hurry I slit my hand open on sharp edge and a thought popped into my head. If my Dad was going to kill me painfully, why not just end it right now with a bit less pain and a drop more dignity?
So I took the china and...and, cut my wrists.
Kurt pushed the book away from him, sobs echoing through his body as he shook his head, "I can't, I can't read it," He said his eyes squeezing closed, "I care about you way too much to think of you like this."
Blaine took Kurt hand again and pulled on it gently, his eyes were pleading, 'Please' he mouthed.
Kurt gulped, he knew Blaine wanted him too read it. He wanted someone too know about him, so he didn't feel alone any more but he honestly didn't know if he could make it through the rest of the heart wrenching story. He picked the notebook with slightly trembling hands and picked up where he left off, doing his best to calm his raged breathing and tears.
I almost died but one of the other staff found me and took me too hospital herself, I stayed there for a week until I was well enough to go home again but I was terrified too. Only a few of the staff members had come to visit me, I hadn't heard anything from my Mom and Dad.
The doctors noticed all the bruises on my body from the beatings my Dad gave me. But I couldn't tell them, it was crazy but I still loved them. They were my parents and I knew they'd get put into prison or something and I did not want to go into care. Lucky I'd learned a thing or too about acting from Cooper and even I was impressed with my performance, I told them that most were from getting bullied at school for my sexuality but the teachers were starting to act on it and a few were from me falling when playing football. Of course I couldn't lie about my wrists, I told them it was just a spur of the moment thing and I knew it was stupid, I promised them I wouldn't even think about doing it again.
They seemed to believe me and let me home, telling me too come in if I ever had similar feelings again and I agreed. The same staff member who found me took me home, she took me straight too my room and I hid there for a few days, she brought me food and water, and told me it was going to be okay.
Finally my Dad came up too see me and I was absolutely terrified to the point where I was actually scared I would wet myself, but he just told me that I wouldn't be able to use electricity and he would put me on rations of what food I could eat until I'd saved enough to by a new plate. I was kind of in shock and thought that maybe things could get a bit better, that me...doing that might have sort of opened his eyes a bit. But I was wrong, he went back to hitting me, probably even more then before.
Then someone from social services came one day, I still think was the staff member who took me too the hospital before, Jackie was her name, I think she called them. They took me away, my Dad didn't put up any resistance, he was too worried that they would take Cooper as well. I didn't even see my Mom, I don't know where she was.
So I was in care, I haven't seen my parents since or had any contact from them. But I like it that way, I just want them too leave me alone.
I got put into a new school but the kids there were exactly like the ones at my old school, and the kids in the care home too. They just wouldn't leave me alone, they said they loved it when I cried, when I yelled out in pain, basically when I reacted to the torment because I deserved it. So I stooped reacting to it the best I could, I didn't talk too anyone, just did my best to remain invisible and praying everyday that they would just leave me alone to be miserable.
My Care worker brought me a notebook after I stopped talking telling me to write down anything I was feeling, after I stopped talking people started treating me like I was some sort of head-case and avoided me as much as possible. And I liked it like that, so I never talked again.
I heard of this place and asked (wrote) if I could transfer here, they were really nice about it actually. They helped me raise the money and now this is my home. I'm apparently still a resident at the home but I haven't been there in years, and that's about it.
Kurt put the book too one side and looked up, he reached forward without even thinking and pulled Blaine into his arms, "I'm sorry Blaine," He whispered tears still tumbling down his cheeks.
Blaine brushed them away with his thumb and smiled with a shrug.
"Thank-you for telling me," Kurt tried for a smile, the corners of his mouth just about making it, "Makes my life look pretty pathetic though."
Blaine frowned reaching over and grabbing his notebook from where Kurt place it aside and steeling himself more comfortable on Kurt's lap.
What do you mean? Your Mom died Kurt (sorry), how is that pathetic?
"I just thought my life was pretty hard that's all," Kurt explained, "But after reading that..." He trailed of and shrugged, "My life is a piece of cake."
You wouldn't be here if your life was 'a piece of cake' would you?
Kurt smiled, "No, but...Yeah okay my life is a small crumb of cake compared too yours."
Why did you have to transfer here anyway? It was like right in the middle of the term.
"Oh wait! I haven't told you have I?" Kurt realized, "I had too leave my old school...this guy threatened to...kill me."
Blaine's eyes widened and his hands clenched into fists as though he was furious.
"Dave Karofsky, he was just another bully in the beginning but then he just seemed to hate me more then everyone else. In the end I had enough and confronted him, we yelled and then...then he forced himself on me, just a kiss but it still shook me hard, then he said he'd kill me if I told anyone so...I came here," Kurt explained gesturing around their dorm, "Sorry I didn't tell you before."
Where is he?
"Now?" Kurt asked, "Still at McKinley I guess, why?"
I'm going to actually kill him!
"Blaine, no way, stay the hell away from him," Kurt warned shaking his head.
No way, I can't believe he'd do something like that too you!
"Blaine promise me, promise me you won't go near him," Kurt begged, "Please? If you get hurt I'll never forgive myself!"
Fine. But only because you asked me too.
Kurt sighed in relief, "Thank-you, that's one less thing too worry about."
What else are you worrying about?
"Well...I'm thinking of moving back to McKinley," Kurt told him slightly hesitantly.
What! NO! Kurt you can't, what about that Dave guy?
Kurt shrugged, "I'll pretty sure he'll stay away from me, all my friends there said they'd make sure he left me alone, I don't want too be a burden too them but I miss them so much and I know they don't mind."
Blaine paused chewing on his bottom lip.
So you're just going too leave me?
"No, no Blaine of course not. We'd still be in touch, meet up," Kurt promised, "Blaine I'm not just going to disappear without a trace. I might not go back anyway, it's just an idea."
Blaine nodded looking up as he continued to sit in Kurt's lap although he did not look at all convinced.
A/n: Thanks for reading :) I had such a great responce with the last chapter! :)
I'm really sorry! But I'm really busy again with school so no time too answer reviews. Just thank you so, so, so, so much to everyone who did review it means pretty much everything too me so...thank-you!