Interlude: Choice

"I'll go check on Minako-chan!" Usagi bolted up from her seat. The karaoke song had finished playing with no other songs queued up, leaving the room in an uncomfortable silence.

"Usagi, wait," Rei said, her voice low. The blush had died down, revealing just how pale she was today. She took few deep breaths and stared at the others seriously. "Whatever you're planning, you have to stop now. She has a boyfriend, Usagi. You should know better."

Usagi hung her head and stared at her shoes, like a child caught doing wrong. Ami, Makoto, and Artemis also remained silent. Rei had reminded them of Usagi's early feelings for Mamoru when he was still in a relationship with his childhood friend Hina.

"I'm very sorry, Rei-chan," whispered Usagi with her head still hung low. "I should have known better."

"It's not just Usagi's fault," Makoto said, coming to her friend's defense. "We all planned it. We were just worried about you and Minako-chan."

Beside her, Artemis raised a paw guiltily, "Yeah, me too."

Rei's posture visibly relaxed, but she looked more tired and dejected than relieved. She gave her friends a weak smile, "There's nothing to worry about. I'll be fine."

"But Rei-chan, if you feel that way for Minako-chan…"

"Usagi-chan!" Ami interjected, shaking her head at Usagi. She saw how Rei tensed. Gently, she set her karaoke mic down on the table and turned to Rei with a smile. "Shall we go and get some fresh air, Rei-chan? I saw this little coffee shop across the street."

Rei frowned but quickly understood that Ami wanted to speak to her privately. She nodded, grabbed her jacket and prepared to head out.

Ami lingered until Rei was out of earshot before placing a calming hand on Usagi's shoulder. "Usagi-chan, I don't think you did anything wrong."

"But Rei-chan is right, Minako-chan is already in a relationship," Usagi protested.

Ami shook her head, "We're just trying to get them to realize how they feel. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure Rei-chan and Minako-chan will make the right decisions in the end. I'll talk to Rei-chan, so Usagi-chan and Mako-chan, you should stay here and talk with Minako-chan too."

"That's right, we should apologize to Minako-chan too," Makoto nodded in agreement.

"More than that, I think Minako-chan needs some encouragement, don't you agree?" Ami suggested with a particular sparkle in her eyes, then returned to her normal harmless self before following Rei out of the karaoke parlor.

London nights were chillier compared to Tokyo. Absentmindedly, Ami compared the two city's latitudes and geographical makeup to satisfy her curiosity. If Rei noticed how long she waited for her friend, she didn't mention it.

The two walked quietly across the street to the coffee shop that Ami mentioned. It was cold enough tonight to see faint traces of their breaths.

Rei rubbed her hands together before putting them inside her pockets, smiling wryly, "Ami-chan, how long have you known?"

"I didn't know until just now," Ami replied innocently. Rei glanced at her, utterly unconvinced. Smiling, Ami changed the subject, "Rei-chan, you had Minako-chan's tambourine when we fought against Princess Serenity, didn't you?"

A blush returned to Rei's cheeks. "I didn't think anyone noticed."

"I'm sure no one did," Ami said, a little amused. "I was too worried about Usagi-chan and saving the world. But when Kuroki Mio attacked, I noticed Minako-chan using the same daggers as you did."

"Why, you weren't worried about Usagi and saving the world that time?" Rei quipped.

"A little less," Ami admitted without missing a beat, though she was taken a little off guard by Rei's sharp retort. Looks like Rei-chan is in a pretty bad mood, thought Ami.

Rei hummed and remained silent. They both ordered a cup of tea and picked a secluded table in the corner of the shop.

Ami took a sip of her jasmine tea, not quite satisfied with the quality but swallowed nonetheless. "It's feels really good to be together again. I wish we had more time to just hang out like the old days."

"You were the first one to leave Tokyo for your studies," Rei pointed out.

Ami sighed and realized there was no helping her friend. Rei was determined to be grouchy and difficult for the whole evening, so Ami decided to get to the point.

She put down her cup but kept her hands wrapped around it for warmth. "You're right, Rei-chan. When the war ended, some of us got their happily-ever-after. Those of us who didn't chose to leave things behind and seek new places to heal our wounds. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Ami-chan…" Rei hesitated.

"You don't have to worry, Rei-chan. I'm okay now. So, how long have you known about my feelings for Usagi-chan?"

Rei's eyes grew wide, clearly taken aback by Ami's admission. "I… not really… I mean, the idea might have crossed my mind," she stuttered.

Ami smiled sadly, but there was no spite in her voice when she spoke. "I thought about a lot of things while I studied in America. I always wondered why out of everyone, Kunzite chose me to turn. Was I weaker or more vulnerable? But then again, Kunzite also tried to turn Usagi-chan, but she was able to resist."

"It's not your fault!" Rei interrupted. "We were all there for Usagi, even she said she woke up because she heard us calling out to her. But we weren't there for you in the same way."

"Thank you, Rei-chan, but I know there's more to it. Thinking back, Kunzite had me figured out the first time we met, when he tried to turn Usagi-chan into a youma. You remember what happened right before I became Dark Mercury, Rei-chan. I was jealous of Osaka-san, and then I found out about Usagi-chan and Mamoru-san. I could be jealous of Osaka-san, because she was Usagi-chan's friend. It made sense to be jealous of Usagi-chan's other friends. That was normal. But when I found out about Mamoru-san, I realized I had no right to be jealous. I should be happy for Usagi-chan. I should be like Mako-chan and protect Usagi-chan from getting hurt. But my wish was selfish, and even though I didn't understand what I wanted, a part of me knew that it wasn't right. So, I stayed silent, tried to be nicer to everyone, especially Usagi, and hid my dark feelings from even myself. That's why Kunzite picked me as the next target."

"That's not true!" Rei protested. "Ami-chan, you're a wonderful person. You're not like that at all."

"You were the one who taught me that everyone has a dark side, Rei-chan. I just wish I understood more deeply what you tried to tell me back then. Maybe if I had been more like you, I wouldn't have let Dark energy twist my inappropriate feelings into a cruel hate. Dark Mercury was everything I tried to deny about myself. I guess on some level, hate was easier to deal with than hopelessness. No, rather, I simply wanted Usagi to myself. If I couldn't have her, then I would destroy her so no one else could touch her.

"But when I almost killed Usagi-chan, I regretted it. I care for her more than anything else. I would rather be her miserable Ami-chan than lose her. It's hard to explain, but the moment I decided to always be Ami-chan, her best friend, it was in that moment that Dark Mercury lost its purpose and ceased to exist. I actually felt like crying when we reunited. I'm pretty sure I did after I got home."

Rei sat in her seat, stunned by Ami's revelation. "Ami-chan," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

Ami shook her head, "Don't be. Thank you for listening. It actually feels great to finally tell someone. I always thought that out of everyone, you would understand."

"No, thank you for telling me something so personal. I really don't know what to say."

Ami chose her next words carefully, "Rei-chan, you may think I'm selfish for saying this, but whatever you feel for Minako-chan, don't give up so easily. One unrequited love story is enough for our group. Despite how it turned out for me, or maybe because of how it turned out for me, I really want to believe in love among us."

Rei closed her eyes and sighed, "That's not just for me to decide. Minako, she already…"

"…has a boyfriend, I know," said Ami. "Rei-chan, Usagi-chan and Mako-chan stayed in Tokyo because they got their happy ending. I returned too after I came to terms with my ending. But you and Minako-chan, your endings are still waiting for you. The Rei-chan I know wouldn't let anything stand in the way of what she wants. Can you tell me what else is bothering you?"

"To be honest, I don't know if this is what I want," Rei admitted hesitantly.

Ami studied her friend in silence for a few moments, then gently placed her hand over Rei's. "Rei-chan, can I tell you something? In the beginning, I only waited to receive Usagi-chan's friendship. As Dark Mercury, I only thought about taking Usagi-chan for myself. Neither waiting nor taking made me truly happy…"

Ami didn't finish, but Rei understood what she was trying to tell her. She stared at her friend in awe, the weight and wisdom of Ami's words sinking in. It wasn't that she didn't know what she wanted, but that she was only looking to selfishly protect her own feelings.

"Thank you, Ami-chan. I think I understand now. You really are the strongest of us."

Ami shook her head again, her smile never leaving her face. "I'm just not as lucky."

To be continued…

Director Maihara said in one of the DVD special interviews: "I think Darkury is the dark side of Ami. […] I think her dark feelings come from her feelings for Usagi. Like 'Don't ignore me!' 'Look only at me…!' So that makes me believe that Darkury really is a part of Ami."

I'm dying… How can a yuri fan interpret that quote any other way!