Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Zelda.

I feel ashamed at how long it took me to come up with this idea for this prompt.

More disclaimer: Just in case it gets interpreted the wrong way, I feel the need to say that I absolutely don't hold with that nonsense that Zeldas owe Links anything of themselves (especially a kiss or a romantic relationship or whatever other crap people come up with) because ~he's the hero~ and ~he saved her and her kingdom~. It's ridiculous, and since I interpret Links as being genuinely decent human beings who just wanted to help people they cared about instead of as being "nice guys," to me it's out of character.
(...okay so I'm not counting Link from the animated series in this example...)
I just whipped out the trope for Midna to joke around with because Midna, and also it was the most entertaining way I could think of to make things work. (You will notice that a certain somebody who is also a princess and also just had her kingdom saved didn't exactly jump to the front of the kissing-the-hero-responsible line...)

TL;DR read on for smooching

17: Goofy Kiss
(Twilight Princess, end-of-game fic, actually pre-Zelink4lyfe, I mean this is only the third time they have met and the first two times Link was a wolf, they are not even friends yet, but I still count it anyway)

Midna rests her elbow on top of Link's head. She'd drape her arm around his shoulders, as she usually does, but apparently being stuck in an undignified imp form has messed with her perception and sense of height. Apparently, Link is actually really damn tiny.

And Midna doesn't feel like hunching over awkwardly to reach Link's shoulders, not when he's practically perfect armrest height.

To be fair, Princess Zelda's also a bit less impressive in person. But she looks better outside of that tower, in the sunlight, in spite of her windblown hair and with her clothes and face scuffed up from her battle with Link.

Ugh, these stupid light-dwellers have grown on Midna.

"So..." she drawls, smirking at Zelda, "have you rewarded your hero yet?"

Zelda's grown up in royal politics. It's second-nature to pretend not to see Midna's leer (or hear it in her voice) and cover with a smile instead. She glances over her shoulder, across the hills of Hyrule Field, and towards the castle.

"It will be a while yet before things are settled, I'm sure," she says. "But if you have a boon to ask of me, Link, I'll do whatever is in my power to grant it when I am able."

Midna waves her hand and scoffs. "Sure, sure, a royal boon is all very nice and well, but that's not what I'm talking about. Isn't it tradition for you people? A handsome hero saves the kingdom from evil and rescues the princess, and after his victory they share a kiss." She takes her arm off Link's head, then pushes him forward a step with a grin.

"Well, go on. Sorry I couldn't find anyone better-looking for you, Princess. But the handsome part's probably not the most important, right?"

Zelda raises a gloved hand to her mouth and coughs lightly into her fist. "Actually," she says, "he's quite good-looking by human standards."

"Really?" Midna raises her eyebrows and turns a skeptical gaze on Link, eying him from head to toe, but she still doesn't see it. Well, whatever.

"Oi, you," she says to Link. "Haven't you got anything to say about this, hero? Don't you care about upholding tradition? Or are you too shy for a kiss, hm?"

Midna's teasing him, of course. That's what Midna does.

But Link is still really, really thrilled that she's not actually dead. And that Princess Zelda is okay too, and Hyrule and the Twilight are safe now-or getting there-and soon everyone will be returning home to Ordon again. And he's just fought several grueling battles with Ganondorf, as a human and as wolf, and if pressed he couldn't say when the last time was that he holed up in a corner for a quick nap (sometime before traveling to the Twilight Realm? He's, well, he's been busy lately). Link is running on adrenaline and happiness and Great Fairy's Tears.

And he's listened to speech after vague, confusing speech about destiny, and he's wearing the hero's garb of a legend, and all in all, Midna's suggestion to uphold tradition sounds brilliant to him right about now.

So Link lays a hand on Princess Zelda's shoulder, and leans in and a little up, and then he licks the corner of her mouth and up across her cheek.

Princess Zelda gasps in surprise and reaches up to wipe her face on the back of her glove. Then she stops, and chuckles, and smothers the laughter when she sees the self-consciousness start creeping red across his cheeks.

"It's alright," she says. "Your breath smells much better than a wolf's."