Chapter 10
Persistent Silence
Ziva is still fighting silently against Saleem, even through the truth serum. But, when Saleem gets angry and tired of her persistent, things change for Ziva and she doesn't know what's next.
Characters: Ziva and Saleem
Ziva's POV
"She will not talk!" Saleem shouted into the emptiness of the room, having lost his patience after two weeks of using the truth serum. I had had to fight harder and harder as he upped the doses. I had fought against the ropes and bit nearly through my tongue today, but I kept quiet. I didn't give him anything.
Saleem turned and faced me dangerously. He shoved my chair, knocking it over. I grunted in pain as it hit the floor. I heard the crack as it broke and felt it give underneath me.
He kicked the chair and it snapped again, freeing me. I quickly slipped my wrists out of their ropes and tried to scurry away and put some distance between us as I saw an opportunity to fight for my freedom again.
He slammed my back into the wall before I could get all the way to my feet. He pressed his forearm into my throat, cutting off my air supply. I struggled against him with all the strength that I had left. His knee contacted me hard between my legs, causing another painful grunt to leave me. I lurched forward at the contact but his forearm stopped me, causing me to choke a little with pain.
"Things will change," he warned me angrily. "You are disloyal to your country just like your brother was. You were disloyal to him as well!"
With those words, and a quick movement, my hands were tied again, but this time, they were tied to each other now and useless in a fight. He dragged me, by the upper arm, the same arm that had the already injured collar bone. I made my feet stumble to stay underneath me as he pulled me out of this room and into a much smaller room that had nothing but four walls and a dirt floor. He tossed me inside and slammed the door and a lock clicked, leaving me alone.
I was glad for the smaller room for now. It was more closed and seemed safer, although I knew that it could be just as dangerous as an open room, or more dangerous in different ways. And, since I had quite obviously angered Saleem today with my persistent silence, I was more than aware that this smaller room was likely to become my worst enemy. But, I was not going to think about that now since I felt a slight sense of safety for the moment.
Saleem had mentioned my brother and his statements were rather accurate. He had informed me that my brother was disloyal to Israel and that was the truth. Ari had worked for Hamas for sometime while still pretending to follow my father's orders. But, Saleem suggested that I was disloyal to Israel also. I knew, in my father's eyes that was the case. He thought that by following Gibbs' orders while I was a liaison officer, I was disobeying him. That was also somewhat due to the fact that I wanted Rivkin out of my life and out of my apartment.
But, I had also told my father that Israel was no longer my home. That was the truth. Israel was not my home and had not felt like home since I was a small child. Until recently I had no home. When I went to NCIS, however, that changed. America was my home and NCIS was my family. Mossad and Israel were not important to me anymore, and they wouldn't ever be again.
The important people in my life were the same people I knew I could rely on, no matter what. Gibbs was the father that every girl deserved and I had never received. He nurtured everyone on the team, taught us, and kept us safe. McGee was a brother and often reminded me of better days I spent with Ari. I could have a laugh with McGee or pull pranks on McGee and we were always fine at the end of the day. We could fight and be completely fine. I could also be somewhat serious with McGee when it was necessary, although I didn't like being serious with anyone.
Abby was a sister. She was strange but so filled with love and joy. She was a contradiction of terms. A happy goth. An oxymoron (not that that term made any sense). She slept in a coffin and was extremely excitable. It was exciting to be around Abby. Everything about her was entirely positive and I spent many joyous times with her. Ducky was like the grandfather of the team. I had never had a grandfather, so I enjoyed having Ducky in my life. He had many stories to share and almost a story for every situation he found himself in.
Then, there was Tony. Malachi pointed it out, and I had known it already, but had hardly admitted it to myself. But, I was ready now to admit it to myself. I was ready to let it out and tell the world. Except that Saleem couldn't know and I had to bite my tongue. But, I was in love with Tony. It was quite clear to me now. I would go through any amount of pain for that man, to ensure his safety. Even the unthinkable seemed bearable for him, but I had not encountered that yet, so I could not say for sure how bearable that would be.
Tony was my whole world. I had known, the first time I laid eyes on him. I had known that he would change my life somehow and I would never rid my mind of his smile, but I had not suspected how drastic that would be. Somewhere along the way, the thought of losing Tony became unbearable and I started risking myself more to have his back and protect him. He did the same for me. But, at some point, the need to have Tony in my life changed and transformed into a deep love that was quite clear and quite undeniable.
All my father could see of this, however, was that Tony and I were closer than he liked. He saw this sometimes and sent the man on a suicide mission after giving me a choice of having him leave the man alone if I chose a suicide mission. This was the first time I had ever chosen this corse for myself. If I somehow got out of this one, I would not know what to expect next. Would Tony be free, as my father promised? Would my father respect my decisions? Would I finally be free of him?
I was not likely to forget and forgive my father for this mission any time soon. I was not likely to forgive him for all the harm he placed on my life as I grew up and turned into a woman. But, it was definitely time for me to assert my independence, if there was a time to do so. I was going to make my own choices from now on, the way my mother always hoped I would. But, I could only do that if I found a way out of here, that wasn't going to happen today. But, I had hope still.
For now, however, I had a silent promise to hold onto. I had unspoken feelings to hold onto. I had the thought of Tony to hold onto. Tony and my family, who were still safe in Washington, waiting for Tony's gut to speak to him. And it would, eventually. I was trusting his gut now with everything I had,
I crawled toward the wall and sat up, moving my hands to my injured collar bone and feeling the definite break there, wincing as I touched it. I would need to remember to move that arm as little as possible for a while. I could manage that. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, finding comfort in my thoughts and memories of happier moments.