Disclaimer: I have no life therefore I own no one else's

RIP: Heath Ledger and New England Patriots' SuperBowl dreams

Today was the day I had been waiting and dreading at the same time. I was finally gonna meet Damien and his family what a wonder joy. Me and Jay were gonna stay there for a day while his house was getting fixed...From what I have heard about Jay and his little adventures I don't even want to know what the hell he did to trash it. I have been training my ass off and Jay and I are currently at war. We're currently in some sort of supermarket because Jason's poor empty little stomach could handle 30 minutes more. Stupid so here I was following him around never mind I see some cookie dough ice cream with my name on it. See Loser!

"Where you going?" Jay said not even looking in my direction. I am so mad lately he thinks he's got me all figured out like he knows everything. I hate 'em.

"Nowhere" I responded innocently walking closer to the pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream that was screaming at me.

He had now turned his full attention to me as I opened the frosty glass door. "Don't you dare touch it!"

"Or What? You're gonna call my mother?" I said spinning my finger over the box.

"Touch it and find out" He said with a blank face. I smiled at me and tried to see if he was joking…still nothing he was just glaring at my finger and back up and me. I stiffed a laugh before ultimately slowly pressing my finger on my yummy treat.

"100 SITUPS NOW!"

"WHAT?!?!" Jay just looked at me expectantly. I was just now how many wrinkles he had on his face. "You can't be serious" I said looking as the shoppers looked at us weirdly and the workers were there just looking on wonder it I would actually do it. "GO DO YOUR FUCKIN JOB!"

"150!"

"WHAT?!?!"

"Don't make me wait"

"I hate you" I said I dropped down and started.

"I love you to sis"

I heard a few laughs which drove me insane. I got up and when to the skater punk wait let me re-phrase that because then I would be giving myself a bad name, the fucking skater wannabe who saw Viva la Bam and thought that was 'SO TOTALLY AWESOME!' Anyways the loser, who looked to be between seventeen and nineteen, was laughing little freaking retard. "You think this is funny?"

"Wow feisty aren't you?"

"Go away" I growled.

"Someone's PMSing"

"No someone's ticked off because someone else I being a mother-fucking jerk"

"What now I can't laugh. I can laugh at anything I want"

I calm down realizing he was right I couldn't control him. He could laugh at whatever he wanted… even if it wasn't funny. "Your right" I sighed "I had no reason come here and get in you face about something that some people though was funny hell I would have laughed at that myself." He looked shocked but quickly replace with the ever so smug face I wished I could just slap off. I shot him a nice smile before walking back to Jay, when back to buying his granola bar once he saw I backed off.

"What the heck was that?"

"What? I can't be a good person once in a blue moon?" He just looked at me and shrugged. I smiled and when back to the cookie aisle that I was so harshly dragged away from. "Here I come my love" I said skipping till reached the heaven. Colorful box lines the shelves waiting to be ripped into. Lucky there prayer where about to become answered. Thanks to Mr. Reso here I have gone sugar free for three days. He would even let me smell Uncle Ric's cherry lollipop Hell im not even allow within five feet of the soda machine. So I mostly spend my free time like any other teen deprived of sugar, laying next to the vending machine begging that some scraps would fall. I know what your thinking im crazy and im addicted to sugar. Well welcome to club current members half of NYC and most LA. Im even banned from Dylan's candy shop in Binghamton, Washington. Yea, Hailey Breanne Kellerman minus sugar is not a pretty sight. I ran down the aisle wondering which box my taste buds would like first when I just said fuck it. I grabbed the gummy worms and the Oreo's along with some pixie sticks and shoved them into my mouth. Pure Bliss.

"What the! Excuse you have to pay for those" Shit I've caught. I grabbed my gummy worms and ran down the aisle. Got to the next with just so happened to be the aisle with all the condoms and stuff in it. Why condoms and candy were even in the same store I will never know but I had got away from the employees for a few seconds and I was planning to make the most of it. I grabbed the pack of small condoms.

"Hey you!" Shit why the fuck are chasing me oh yea I stole candy. Oh well Jay should have never deprive me of sugar and that should never have candy I those super obtainable bins. Their like begging you to take it. I snatched the condoms and ran as fast as I could, seeing someone who could 'save me' for a lack of a better word, I got behind the wannabe that I was arguing with earlier before another store employee grabbed me. I held on for dear life on the wannabe's carts dropping the evidence in there before I was officially dragged away.

"Let me go!" Next thing I know im sitting in front of the cash registers with my new baby sitter the store manager, Todd. Hehe funny name…Todd…hehe. I could see Jay paying for all his health shit and laying his eyes on me before shaking his head, paying for his 'food' and walking towards me and Todd. Shockingly I was actually happy to see him this Todd guy gave me the creeps he kept on looking at me. Weirdo

"What did you do know?"

"You know her?" Todd asked.

"No you idiot he's just some random guy asking me a question"

"I'm sorry for her rude behavior. What damage did she do now?" He said glaring at me while I smiled innocently.

"This girl" Todd said shooting a look. "damaged almost our entire sugar inventory. She was completely reckless and ran away while my employees and I were trying to detain her."

"Im right here!"

"I know your type and what they do?"

"My type? What the fuck? I'm a new species or something?" He just looked at me while Jay signaled for me to shut the fuck up.

"As I was saying, all in all she stole a total of…"

"Price Check on Small Trojan Condoms!" I heard a female cashier say over the loudspeaker. I looked over at her register to see wannabe Bam Margera arguing with the woman saying he didn't put them there while she told him it was okay that 'small is good if you knew how to used it' The guy went red while the people behind him were laughing their heads off. "MY PENIS IS HUGE!" The whole store was quiet except for my loud deafening laughter.

"What now I can't laugh? I can laugh at whatever I want" I mimicked

"You bitch!" He said walking past me and tripping on my foot.

"Why thank for noticing." I said placing my hand on my chest while Todd glared at me and Jay tried really hard to hide the smile cracking through his face. "What!?!"

"She owes the store seventy five dollars and sixty three cents but seeing that im a huge fan of your, if you sign this my arm everything will be forgotten. Im a huge fan of yours; I go to every show in the Florida area." Todd said handing Jay a pen who gladly signed it as if it was a normal thing. "Thank you so much. Now if you could tell your little friend to not destroy other stores I could let this go" I just glared at him. He was definitely a freak who go to EVERY SHOW! No wonder dude is working a supermarket he's to busy drooling over guys who he can't have and girl who have bigger balls than him.

"Don't worry I got my little friend covered. Finish it"

"What?"

"Oh you thought your short temper was gonna get you out of touching the ice cream? nope come on 75"

"U suck"

"Actually girls do the sucking" He said smirking his way towards the door

"OMG YOU ARE SO GROSS!" I said following him to the car.

"What you saw the girls can't keep their hands off of me" He said knowing that he was picking at the scrape that would scar me for life.

"Don't even go there Jason William Reso!"

"OH I WENT THERE HAILEY BREANNE KELLERMAN!" He screamed laughing.

I stomped off the car. "Drive me home"

"Seeing as you live in California and we're in Florida that's a definite HELL NO! Plus you're gonna meet your big brother today."

"Hold on while I find a container for my excitement" I said borely

"Dame's is more like you so im sure you to will get along just perfectly"

"Yay" I said drawing on the window.

30 Minutes later

Jay and I had finally arrived to Damien's house. "Try to be nice for once"

"I am nice you saw what I did to the punk"

"Yea was that before or after you planted small condoms on him"

"Come on you have to admit that was pretty funny" He was silent. "You can't be mad at me forever."

"It's a goal. One that you're making very easy"

"I needed it. I told you im a sugar-holic. I need it. PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME" I said begging on my knees. Jay just smiled before ringing the door bell

"Get up before they think you nuts."

"Yea we might need to wait for that one" A few more seconds past and no one answered the door. "Oh well their not here lets go" I said pulling Jay's arm.

"Im sorry. JAY!. Oh My God I completely forgot you were coming today" The woman said inviting us in before I could pull Jay towards the car. I took in her appearance she wore a white long sleeve chocker sweater and blue jeans along with very messy auburn hair and tired green eyes.

"It's ok. Actually I wanted you to meet someone. Kore this"

"Hailey! Oh My God I heard so much about you. I have been dying to meet you" She said kindly

"Umm hi" I said extending my hand.

"Don't give me that your part of the family now. Come here" Korie said engulfing me in a hug.

"Sorry she gets a little over excited around new people" Jay said after seeing my terrified look.

"Well can you blame me? Im cooped up in this house all day with a three year old for company. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO LISTEN TO HANNAH MONTANA AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ALL DAMN DAY LONG! DO YOU?!?! NAME ANY SONG I CAN REPEAT IT WORD FOR GOD DAMN WORD! I EVEN HAVE THE CURSED WIG!" Korie said shaking me back and forth with her eyes popping out of her head. Chick definitely missed her medication today and not to mention that I will be staying in this Looney bin for the next 24 hours. Great just great if hanging out with Orton and Cena hasn't made me lose my mind I will definitely lose it here.

"Umm ok?" then I turned to Jay and grabbed his Ed Hardy shirt pulling down to my size and whisper in his freakishly large ears. "Im scared"

"Your scared now wait until you meet Meadow"

"Meadow? What kind of a name is Meadow?"

"Meadow Soleil Reso. They wanted her to be 'different' and trust me they succeed big time! I tried talking them out of it my brother thinks he can do whatever he wants and with Korie by his side they are the most stubborn couple I have ever met and now I have a hippie child for a niece."

"Hey im still here! And I happened to like the name even though it's hippie-ish it's my family heritage." The red head said waving her arms in the air.

"We know" Jay and I responded smiling.

"Jason is so mean to me. Im freezing are you guys ok?"

"It's only 62 degrees" I said confused.

"Your point being?" Korie said like it was obvious and walking into the living room.

"Kor's never been out of Florida" Jay told me as followed and place our bag by the stairs.

"MOMMY!!!!!! I SEE YOU!" yelled a girl from the top of the stairs.

"Oh no I've been spotted" Korie said running god knows where. The kid who I imagined to be Meadow was the perfect image of her mother with the exception of wavy strawberry hair. It was super freaky it was like seeing a twin but one was born 23 years late. She had brown speckles in her sparkling green eyes which spelled that she was up to something.

"Uncle Jay Jay!" The girl said running down the stairs her daisy filled hair bouncing on her shoulders and a smile a mile wide revealing her missing teeth. Her white boho skirt and yellow peasant shirt were all scrunched up and her flip flops shuffled quickly towards Jay signaling her arrival. Jay picked her up over his head blowing one her stomach, making her giggle.

"Hey munchkin. What's up?" Jay asked the hippie child. Last time I checked it was winter and I was in Florida not Woodstock. WELCOME TO 2008 PEOPLE EMBRACE THE FASHION!

"The sky, the birds, the trees, the -" Typical flower child no wonder Korie's so freakin crazy. SHE'S HIGH!

"The trees are in sky?" Jay asked smiling. I while I just looked on bored and drinking my coke.

"Yea they knew you were coming and flew away!" I spit out my soda and started to laugh. Have to admit that one was pretty good for a hippie 3 year old.

"Uncle JJ who is she?" Meadow said giving me a dirty look. I thought flower kids were supposed to be nice.

"Meadow this is your aunt Hailey."

"Whoa Aunt" I said looking at the kid who was tapping her foot on the floor and looking me up and down taking in my Invader Zim's Gir t-shirt and black sweat pants along with my new blonde hair. Blame Jeff He kept on trying to convince me to dye it so it told him to touch up my blue streak. Stupidly I fall asleep in hands of Jeff Hardy who has several different dyes nearby. I wake up and SURPRISE IMA BLONDE! Well it better than being with Candice and Melina I swear I would have woken up with silicone boobs.

"Well yea your me and Dame's sister making you my demonic Hailey little Meadow's aunt" Jay said poking your nose.

"No she's not! Is she your new girlfriend?" Jay just laughed while I stood there in horror. Meadow tugged Jay down to her size. "I don't like her. I liked Eve better"

"Hey munchkin Hailey isn't my girlfriend"

"THANK GOD because I definitely have better taste"

"Oh you know you would have wanted me"

"Ok this just took a disturbing turn. Listen kid I really am your aunt. Step-aunt… I think?"

"I don't know you?!?"

"Trust me you wish you hadn't" Jay said earning him a strong slap on that big noggin of his.

"Ow what was that for?!"

"Im a nice person!"

"Oh yea real nice slapping me over the head and go tell that to the kid who got his manhood shrunk."

"Or enlarged"

"Uncle Jay Jay im confused"

"Munchkin I know you don' know Hailey but you see Hailey's mom married Grandpa Andy which gives you three new aunties and one new little uncle." Oh crap I forgot about Nick wait just a minute since Nick isn't Jessi's son does that still make him Meadow's uncle? I don't know ow! Great now my brain hurts.

"I don't like them. Uncle Jay Jay make her go away. She scares me!" Jay laughed and shrugged taking the snotty evil hippie child.

"Go upstairs and the third room to your right is the guest room put your stuff in there and meet us down stairs" Jay said before turn around and walking somewhere. When he turned around, Meadow stuck her tongue out at me and gave me the finger. My jaw immediately hit the floor. I took my H.I.M bag and made my way up the stairs and to the room. It was your average gay guest room. Its stupid flower designs and bright sunshine going through the curtains. You see im kinda a nocturnal creature if I was in the dark my whole life I wouldn't mind. A freaky character trait I picked up during the divorce. I put my bag on the floor; there was no point in unpacking when we were leaving to Jay's house in Tampa tomorrow. As I was examining my new environment, I heard my voice coming on of my bag.

I've gotta look you in the eye and tell the world the biggest lie
What choice do i have
When you hurt me so bad
Wrecked everything we had

so

I'm gonna say what I gotta say
I'm gonna do what I gotta do
to unlove you

"Hey Steven" I said picking up the phone

"Hoe-la!"

"Kalen?"

"Yuppers"

"Why do you have Steven's phone?"

"He left it here after I kick him and Max out fight spraying chocolate sauce all over my wall"

"You made them clean it right?"

"Hell yea I even got Anthony to help"

"Nice. Wats up over there?"

"Nothin except extreme boredom! WE MISS YOU!"

"I MISS YOU TOO!"

"So wat's up in whatever state you're in today?"

"Florida and Nothing much visiting the fam"

"Just now? You're coming back in four days and you're meeting him now!"

"I know but I did meet Jay and im meeting Damien and his wack job family."

"Oh so they'll fit right in"

"No they are FUCKIN PSYCHO!"

"Im guessing their psycho?"

"Figure that one out by yourself Einstein?"

"Why yes I did. Im very proud of myself. Actually that's the most think I don in the past two weeks. Im actually sitting here but naked because I can't decide what to wear"

"Kalen that's gross"

"No sweetie that's me but go on"

"Damien's wife Korie is fucking missing a few French fries in her happy meal if you know what im saying. Chick comes up to me and hugs me and then starts yelling about Hannah Montana. And the kid's name is MEADOW! IF that wasn't bad enough she hates me and Jay is just laughing at it. The girl hates me Kale"

"And you find that shocking why?"

"Normally I wouldn't heck half New York and most of California hates my guts but I never did anything to her. Hell I haven't even talked to her!"

"Right" Kalen said sarcastically.

"Im serious!"

"Whatever you say Hails. So how's training?" She said with a slight laugh in her voice. No believed me when I told them I was training. I wouldn't either come on I spend my entire life trash the very 'sport' that has gotten me everything I have and now im here picking up the very thing I hated with my entire being. Im still not a huge fan but I have definitely got closer to the thing.

"Brutal! You know that he made me do sit ups in the middle of a supermarket!" She was silent for little while before bursting in hysterics. "Keep doing your gonna pay deeply" I said menacingly. She immediately shut up.

"How's home looking?"

"Pretty good. I mean the people are really nice but I miss you guys and my bed…mostly my bed."

"Oh yea we miss you too" Kale said jokingly

"I know you are. I can't wait to go home. You know Jessica hasn't called me once"

"Maybe your mother is busy or getting busy either way your not that first thing one her mind."

"First eww mental image and second I don't want to be one her mind when she's doing that. If I was 'busy' doing whatever I would take sometime out of my two free weeks to call her daughter!"

"It's not like you would pick up the phone"

"That doesn't matter she should have called"

"You're impossible"

"No im not and I just might call children services I am sure this classifies as some sort of abuse" Kalen just stayed quiet before giggling.

"Good one Hails. With all the shit you do on a daily basis I can't figure out why your mom has called children services on your ass. If i pull half of your crap I would be on the street corner begging for food or being the prettiest street hooker LA has ever seen."

"You would be the worst hooker ever"

"Oh please hard could it be? You-"

"LALALALA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH" I yelled while she went on and on. "Geesh Kalen YOU REALLY GOTTA LEARN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled closing the phone and walking down stairs

A few hours later

"DADDY'S HOME!" Meadow said running towards her father.

"Thank you God" I heard Korie whisper.

"Hi umm wow this awkward" Damien said rubbing his hair.

"Trust me I have more than my share of awkward moments during this trip. Hey im Hailey YOUR NEW SISTER!"

"Im Damien your new brother!" he said putting Meadow down and spearing me into a hug.

"Are you sure you're related to Jay?"

He laughed. "Yea I asked my father if there was a possibility if I was adopted or switched at birth but the chance of the happening is still highly up likely." He said lifting me off the ground. I like him. He's fun unlike some who yelled at me when I told him and everyday since then. Party Pooper.

"So there still hope?" He laughed and nodded.

"Daddy come play with me!"

"In a second sweetheart. Daddy just got home and is very tired."

"Why does she get to play with him?"

"Because Auntie Hailey just met Daddy and they need to talk ok"

"No I wanna play with Daddy! I wanna play with daddy!!!"

"Andii go play with mommy ok" Dame said kneeing eye to eye with his young upset daughter who little beady eyes wouldn't snap off the death glare she had on me. Which of course no one noticed.

"Okay Daddy but can you play with my later? Maybe Auntie Hailey can play to"

"Sure now go play with your mother" Andii looked at me before walking to Korie.

I talked with him a while longer before I was force to play with the crazy bunch. That little field or plain or grass what ever her name is tripped me into the fricken garden! I think I have dirt in my hair. We played for a little while longer before I was stuck with the evil kid ALONE! Everyone decided to go see some flippin hockey game today and when to get ready so it was me the kitchen and an evil hippie.

"I don't like you" She said taking the flower out of her hair.

"Look kid what's your problem? I have done nothing to you"

"Your mom made Grammy cry"

"What?"

"Your stupid mom made Grammy cry!" She said stomping to the fridge.

"Your 'Grammy' doesn't know my mom! So get your fact straight 'munchkin'" I said glaring back at her. I was sick of being treated like this when I didn't even do anything. At that moment her age few right out my head.

"No Grammy told me that she and grandpa were happy and then your dumb mom broke it. SHE RUINED EVERYTHING!"

"You're lying. You Grandmother a liar my mother would never do that"

"She made Grammy cry. I don't like when she cries. I HATE YOU! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AWAY! NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!" Meadow said before running to the living room. I was in complete shock. There was no way my mother could be a home-wrecker. Heck that was everything that she was against. As Meadow's words sunk in I remembered when I found out about Chris' inability to keep it in his pants. I wanted to kill him my parents and my grandparents were the only stable relationship in my life. Sure they weren't perfect they were together and that was all that mattered. Mom was absolute devastated I remember hearing her cry and the night when she was packing her thing. Alex, Nani and I stood on the stairs hearing every insult they threw at each other. That had to be one of the worst moments of my life. I didn't see my mom for about month after that. For a month I had to hear Camille go on and on about us being one happy family and how this was all going to go away. For a month I had my father going on as if nothing had happened when I brought it up he would always dust it off or yell at me telling me that it was my fault. When I moved in with my mom she was trash my father and his new slut all the time. She told me that it would always be just us. Stupid I listen and even worst I believed it. Here I was again. I walked to the living room and there was there was Meadow watching Dora the Explorer crying. I could imagine what it was like for her when i found out my Chris and Camille I was 13 and had my sisters but she was only 3 and alone. Even though she was a bitch and I had just meant her, I sympathized for her, she reminded me of me. I was sick to my stomach knowing that my mother was the cause of this. Here was a family falling apart was she was in the Bahamas with her new husband having the time of her life. I can't believe this.

"Meadow"

"GO AWAY"

"Meadow I know what you going through"

"No you don't know one does. Just leave me alone" She said before going up the stair and what I figured to be her room. I sat on the couch and played with my necklace it was a jewel incrusted key. My mom had given it to me after our trip to Vegas and I hadn't taken it off since. I guess she was only preparing me for the big blow. What a bitch.

Two hours later

"Hailey I need to talk to you" Jay said after coming into the living room after he hung up his phone. I had dropped the Meadow thing but had full intentions in talking to Jay and Dame about it. I wasn't gonna leave without knowing what was going on.

" Umm sure" I walked into the dining room and he started to pace up and down. "Jay what up?"

"Guess who I just got off the phone with?"

"I don't know?"

"Guess"

"Mickey Fuckin Mouse I don't know"

"Joanie Laurer that's who"

"Chyna? What the hell does she want?"

"Nothing but gave me a lovely little piece of information"

"What how to use thousands of steroid shots, prescription pills, and boozes along with a hint of illegal drugs and not overdose?"

"Normally I would laugh but guess what?" I shrugged. "You have a match against Jillian in two days"

"WHAT!?!"

"Yeah tomorrow morning you and I are going to work your ass off"

"Why didn't say something!!! I can't do this. Im not ready"

"You will be" He said going back to the living room allowing me to have a mini panic attack!

(A/n: Hey guys im so sorry for leaving you guys so long with out an update but with midterms, regents, parties and life in general this past month has been pretty stressful but im not gonna make excuses I apologize. Thanks to Southern Rock Junkie and2 Die is 2 Livefor their reviews. Read and Keep Reviewing. You guys rock! I might not update til after the Super Bowl so all I got to say it GO GIANTS!!!- Genesis)