The tears are still streaming down my face when I step out onto the stage for my post-Games interview. I sit in the single chair across from Caesar. When he sees my face, a look of sympathy crosses over his, but only for a little while. Then he smiles again and looks out to the crowd. "Hello Annie! How are you doing?" I sigh and think of what to say.
"I am good, thanks for asking. How about you?"
"Oh, Annie, I am wonderful! And might I say, you look fabulous tonight! That dress is amazing! Hopefully you get to keep it when you go home to District Four! Speaking of your home, who is waiting for you back there? Anyone special?"
I think of my family and new tears stream down my face. "Well, I have…" Then I realize my mom died when I was born, and my dad died a couple months before I got reaped. I literally have no one. "I have no one." My voice barely comes out a whisper. Caesar leans forward and put his hand to his ear as if to say, what was that? "I have no one!" He smiles sadly and pats me on the shoulder.
"Well, it's okay. I'm sure you have someone that loves back in your district." I nod, realizing I will be going back to Finnick.
"Why, yes, I do. Caesar, I have Finnick! He is my boyfriend," I am suddenly very excited, a huge smile spreading across my face," and I live with him! I can go back there and stay with him all day long!" I look backstage where Finnick and the President stand. Snow's face is hard, with a look of hatred in his eyes. Finnick's face is filled with happiness. I smile even wider and look back at Caesar excitedly. But his face is grave.
"Annie, you know who Finnick is, right? He is Panem's heart throb, not your boyfriend. We would know if he was. He would have told us by now."
"But Caesar, you don't understand. Finnick is my boyfriend. He told us to keep it secret though…." It makes so much sense now. Finnick complaining about going to the Capitol, him looking terrified when the President coming to stand next to him, him flinching whenever a Capitol citizen comes near him, not being able to tell anyone about our relationship, it is so much clearer. Snow makes him do something that has to do with the Capitol people. I look back at Finnick and the happiness on his face changes to worry. He makes eye-contact with me and shakes his head vigorously. I understand. I smack my hand onto my forehead. "Oh! Sorry Caesar. I must have been day-dreaming. He isn't my boyfriend. He is just my mentor and a close friend."
"Ah, well its okay! We all have day dreams like that don't we?" The crowd shouts reassurances at us. "See? So let's get on with the footage, why don't we?" He motions towards the huge screen at the back of the stadium. It shows the chariot rides, the interviews and then the actual Games. I watch, even though it is hard. Then the part about Raycen comes on.
It replays everything. Him getting killed, the girl taunting me, and my breakdown. I can't take it anymore and push my fists into my ears and run off stage. I dash into a closet and lock myself in there. I curl into fetal position and cover myself with the coats hanging in front of my face. I press my face into the warm and fuzzy surface of a fur coat and sob. It is ruining the coat, but who cares?
No one comes to get me, so I stay in there for what seems like forever. Then the lock clicks and light floods into the small space. A shadow looms over me, and I recognize the silhouette. Finnick. He kneels down beside me and pats me on the back. "Annie?" His voice is filled with sympathy.
"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to spill the beans like that. But everyone thinks I'm crazy, so I can just blame it on that and day-dreaming, right? You won't get hurt or anything?" He shakes his head and I breathe a sigh of relief. "Finn, when are we going back home?" He sighs and begins to get up. He holds his hand out to me and I take it. We walk, more like him leading me, to the garden outside of the stadium. It is huge, with a big pathway going through the middle and a gazebo and pond in the center of everything. No one is here. This is a perfect place for talking.
"Annie, I have to tell you something. I won't be going back to District Four as soon as you go back. I have to stay here and do some things for the President."
"What do you have to do Finn?" He sighs.
"If I tell you, you have to swear to never tell anyone. If you do, I will be killed. Got it?" I nod. "Okay. Well, if a victor is desirable and attractive, after they get out of the arena, Snow makes them do things. He sells their bodies to the highest bidders. We have to obey, or they kill someone we love. That's why you were reaped. Snow called me over the phone and told me I had to do that. I refused. I screamed at him. And he said it was fine. He said 'Go ahead Mr. Odair. Have fun on the beaches.' and I was dumb enough to believe him. I am the reason you had to suffer in the arena and you will never forget any of it. It will make the rest of your life a living hell. Nightmare every night, random flashbacks, flinching every time someone comes near, it never ends. Snow is making me stay here for a month and have two clients every night. I can't go back to District Four. Not right now. I am really sorry Annie. I wish I could, but I can't." Tears are streaming down his face. I bring my hand up to his face, wiping away the tears.
"Finn, it's okay. I understand. Don't blame yourself. It might have happened anyway. You never know. Just make sure when you come back to me, you are the same Finnick I moved in with half a year ago. Got it?" He smiles slightly and nods. "Well then Odair, let's get to the boarding station for that train. I am not going there alone!" I grab his hand and pull him behind me to the train station.
We make it ther just in time. All of my luggage has been brought down from my room and is loaded in there. Finn and I have one final embrace and I have to board the train. I sit near the window closest to him. He waves good bye and I do the same. Silent tears are slowly falling down both of our cheeks. I form a heart with me hands and show it to him. He smiles and does the same thing. The train starts to move. We don't move at all. By the time the train pulls away from the station, my hands are still in the shape of a heart.