Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Yeah, we'd better just get this out of the way. All references to other fandoms are written by us, but said fandoms are not our possessions. We merely hunch our emaciated, balding forms over the Precious…es…

~O~O~O~

Chiron ran down the list, "There's a supply of ambrosia and nectar, a few extra weapons, and some beef jerky. In case anything goes wrong, the boater's manual is under the seat. There are twenty drachmas in a bag by the dining room. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir. I think I got it." Xander answered groggily. The night before had been fitful, to say the least. He'd been tired, but he'd refused to go back to sleep.

"Are you alright?" Chiron asked. Xander could see him peering at the cut on his neck. To avoid the issue, Xander turned and hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder.

"Yessir. I'm doin' fine," Xander replied, trying to sound more awake than he felt. "Thank ya for everythin'. I won't let ya down." He turned and climbed onto the small yacht Chiron had given him: The Defender.

All of Athena's cabin, as well as kids from an assortment of cabins, had come to see them off. Henry was jumping and screaming his goodbyes at the front while the rest waved and cheered them off.

Xander stepped toward the door to the inside of the yacht where Dani and Rose were standing. He attempted to stifle a yawn. "Ya ready?"

Rose nodded. Dani, however, crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. "It's strange," she mused, "that you look even closer to death today. What happened to you?"

Xander rubbed the back of his neck, his hand passing over the cut. "I just...uh...had some trouble sleepin'."

"I'll say." Dani laughed. Xander rubbed his eyes and went to the bridge.

The campers below released the boat's docking ropes. "And…we're off!" He set the ship on a super special 'Follow the River' setting and returned to the two girls.

BOOM! CRASH! SMACK!

"What in Hades is all that?" Dani huffed. Rose had a knife in hand.

The source of the noise was a barrel. A cackling barrel, to be exact. Suddenly, its top popped off and out tumbled…

"Oh, good gods. It would be you, Willard," Dani remarked in blatant disgust.

"What a night! Did you know that pegasi are ticklish? Man, those guys are FUNNY. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with the Party Ponies. Something about Las Vegas. Or maybe it was Barcelona. Who cares? They all have drinking songs.

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. ..
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And René Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

He fell over backwards with a hiccup. "Hey, why is the ground moving? What a hangover…" Willard jerked himself to his feet and stumbled over to the side of the ship, retching. "Anyone have some share-able ambrosia?"

Xander stood before the sight of Willard, unsure what to do. He seemed so... pathetic. He sighed, digging inside his backpack for the container.

"What are you doing?" Dani questioned, slapping Xander's hand away. "Don't you dare give him any of that! Throw him off the boat or something!"

But Xander began to think. "'The last member of the party is more than he claims to be,'" he mumbled to himself. It couldn't mean Willard... could it? A group of four instead of three? Could Willard actually be an asset? It seemed wrong, and yet it also seemed probable. But he wouldn't be able to get an actual confirmation on the meaning of the prophecy. He just had to decide.

Xander gently pushed past Dani and stepped closer to Willard, whose breath smelled strongly of alcohol. "Here," he said, handing over the container.

He licked his lips. "Some people prefer black coffee, but I say this stuff does the trick every time." His hand shook as he lifted a golden square to his mouth and swallowed it whole. "WOO! Better than shots!" He stood and brushed himself off. "Now, would any of you kids kindly tell me why we're on a boat without chaperones? Is this a get-together that may not be totally legal? Or is it New Year's already and I just blacked out through the past eight months?"

Athena's son sighed. "We're on a quest," he began. He swallowed hard, looking into Willard's eyes and praying he was right, "and now, so are you."

Xander's collar was yanked from behind and he quickly found himself mere millimeters away from Dani's face. Her eyes were those of a killer. "All right. I'm okay with your little boy scout act to help out the drunk, but I am definitely not okay with you inviting him along. I'm putting my life on the line for you, and inviting him along is just asking for trouble. Do you really want more trouble, Boy Scout? Because you're already in pretty deep," she hissed at him, her grip on his shirt tight with fury.

Two small hands shoved them apart with surprising force. "Dani, calm down," Rose soothed. "Listen first, act later."

"Hang on, hold it! Who says I want to go on your silly little quest? Who says I want to be a pawn in the gods' petty wars? I'll be going now, if you don't mind, because I value my life more than my pride." Willard ambled toward the side of the ship and started climbing over the side.

Xander jogged after Willard, ignoring Dani's glare.

He grabbed Willard's arm. "What are ya gonna to do, swim back to camp? Look, I don't really want this quest either, but we don't have a choice if we want to live. I'm pretty sure my prophecy was talking about you, and, well, that means I need ya to suck it up and help me save...um, everyone."

Willard sighed. "You can't save everyone, kid. Only yourself, if you're lucky." He paused and stared at nothing for a moment. "But you're right! I don't want to go for a swim in this water. It's been a long morning of near-sobriety, and it's about time I cure that." He pulled a metal canteen from his sleeve with a shaking hand and drew a long pull from it. He smacked his lips. "Ah, piss of the gods. Worse going down than coming up, that's the stuff."

Xander's frustration mounted as the boy drank in front of him, as he gave up on trying to save hundreds of lives. "Dani's right," he said angrily. "You really are disgusting." And with an impulsive shove, Willard fell off the side of the boat. Rose gasped. Dani laughed. Willard's head bobbed to the surface and spewed salty water.

"Xander," Rose reprimanded gently, "throwing someone over the side of the boat does not typically sway them to your cause."

Xander sighed. He could blame the quest, Crofter's death, or his life in general for the spontaneous action, but that didn't give him the right to take it out on another demigod- drunk or not. She was right. "Fine," he answered dejectedly, a bit embarrassed. Xander leaned over the side of the boat and extended an arm to Willard to pull him back up.

The sober drunk shook like a wet dog and stood, poised for battle. "Disgusting, am I?" He growled and charged.

Xander kneed him in the stomach, but Willard looked up at him and smiled toothily. "Gotcha," he said, and suddenly Xander was flipping through the air. He almost fell over the edge when a strong hand grabbed his ankle. "Kid, I'm not even mad about the insult. I've heard plenty of those before. What gets me is that you made me spill my last drink!" Willard gripped his shoulder, spun him right-side-up, and used a roundhouse kick to send him across the deck.

The next coherent moment Xander for which was present involved hanging upside-down from the yacht's flagpole with little stars swirling in his vision. Unfortunately, he was still aware of just how much his body ached. His head felt like it had been split in half and he found it painful to breathe. With all of the effort he could muster, Xander found what was keeping him in the air: his ankles were tied into the flag's rope work.

As he tried to lean up to untie them, pain shot through his chest. He quickly stopped trying to move, emitting a grunt of pain in the process. When he bit his lip to keep from crying out, he tasted the metallic tang of blood enter his mouth. Xander moved his hands to his back, expecting to find his backpack and sword, but felt only the flagpole. He was completely and utterly stuck.

He dangled there for a moment before the sounds of the others' voices began to reach him.

"Is he hurt?" Rose asked Willard.

"No worries. Most people can't feel a thing when they're unconscious. Not even black eyes," Willard said flippantly.

"A black eye!"

"It's nothing compared to the pain I'll be feeling if we don't get to shore soon. That son-of-a-god tossed my truest love into Poseidon's hands!"

Dani looked between the two bitterly and groaned. "Gods, chill out! This will be a learning experience for our dear Xander," she said in mock sweetness. "And Willard? I intend to laugh hysterically at your pain," she told him seriously.

"You don't want me on board, anyway. Why not just drop me off?"

Dani opened her mouth as if to berate Willard, but something more important claimed her short attention span. Her mouth closed and she began to shake. Laughter poured out of her as she stared at Xander. It wasn't even a cold, dark laugh. No, she was giggling like it was the most hilarious joke she'd ever heard.

"Come on, now, My Little Pony underwear isn't that funny. Give the kid a break," Willard smirked.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. Can somebody please get me down now?" he yelled.

Dani grinned mischievously as she climbed up the ropes, motioning for the others not to follow. She crouched when she reached Xander, looking at him with a mixture of awe and horror.

"Dang, Willard," she called down, "you really hit him hard." Dani smirked to hide her giggles and continued to stare at Xander, who glared back at her irately. A poke sent him swinging back and forth on the sea breeze.

"Really, Dani? Really?" Xander deadpanned.

Willard hooted, "Looks like this trip might be fun after all!"

~O~O~O~

JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY. *tattoos Willard's face on arm* (Obsessed, much? -Rachel)

~Monica

Gods, I love humiliating Xander. (Sadistic, much? -Monica)

~Rachel