Chapter Ten: Now There is Five?
YAY! We are officially in the double-digits! We are actually getting somewhere here! Three cheers for me! Hip, hip... (crickets) HIP, HIP... (crickets) oh forget it... anyway... ALRIGHT! This story finally has 20 reviews! Awesome! Keep it up everyone! Let's see if we can get to 30!
Also, I'm not sure how funny this chapter is going to be because of Naraku suddenly being thrown into the mix. I don't know, it might be funny it might not be funny. But one thing I CAN guaranteed, is that once we get OVER this chapter... I have lots of funny ideas for the five of them (six if you count Lucky). Also, this will most likely be a LONG CHAPTER!
MANY HUGS TO THE FOLLOW PEOPLE FOR REVIEWING!
Inu-chan-keh: That you for reviewing... and so fast too! I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you keep following the story along!
Ididntdoit07: don't worry, you ain't a dits. My brother and I just thought your review was so funny that we couldn't RESIST making fun of it! LOL! Don't take it to heart! Cause we didn't mean it to be! Thankies for the review:D
Jesse: Thanks for the review. To answer your question: I don't have a bloody clue where we are going with this... we think as we go! But still funny right? LOL! Kagome, Sango and the rest might come in some other part in the story. But for now it is just going to be Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Miroku, Naraku, Bob and Lucky. OK?
Hearii: IF INUYASHA LANDS UP WITH KAGOME I'M GOING TO SCREAM! Seriously! Any girl who wears a skirt THAT short is A) just looking for trouble and B) doesn't deserve a guy like Inuyasha and his cute little ears! I don't care if it is her school uniform, if it was me I would have told the school that I'm not a tramp so I'm not wearing it! Also, did you DO the equation that I worked out for you? It actually does give a REAL answer, ya know. But thanks for the review anyway.
Disclaimer: (pops up all messy and dirty) sense I cheated death in the last chapter by actually surviving a Wind-Scar... I think I'm just going to say that I don't own it for now... and pass out... right here looks good... (faints)
Sesshomaru growled, "Now... DIE, NARAKU!"
"I like clouds." Naraku suddenly blurted out, causing Sesshomaru to hesitate, "Clouds are fluffy and pretty... like daisies... daisies are pretty... tulips can burn in Hell."
Sesshomaru glared down at the Dark lord... or one of them anyway... the stink of shit was getting to the Lord's keen senses and was making him see at least five different Naraku's lying on the ground.
"...My daisies won't grow... why won't my daisies grow?"
Sesshomaru stayed perfectly still with the blade still raised above his head, blinking at the Lord of the Dark Lands in utter confusement.
"TODAY!" Inuyasha yelled, "What ya waiting waiting? The sun to be at the proper alignment in the sky? The stars? The moon? Does it have to line up with your forehead or something?" He really did want to kill the bastard himself but he figured seeing him get killed would have to do. He muttered to himself, "Stupid coins."
With a sigh, Sesshomaru sheathed Toukijin in defeat, "My pride honors me to take down my enemies at their best... not when they are crying about their daisies."
Inuyasha growled and barged in front of his brother, "Than get out of my way, ya wimp!"
The hanyou drew back Tetsusaiga as far as he could and aimed for the center of the Middle-Naraku's head. However, just as he swung his blade, Lucky came stumbling out from underneath the Dark Lord's clothing, causing Inuyasha to freeze in mid-swing.
Inuyasha watched as the scrawny rat stumbled about, stop and then look up at him. The rat, at that point, tried to stand up on his hind legs only to wobble for a second and fall back onto its side.
"...That's so damn pathetic..." Inuyasha sighed as he sheathed Tetsusaiga, then he whipped his head to the other two, "Shut up!"
"INUYASHA!" Miroku yelled, bottom jaw lying on the ground, "But... how... why... when... who... huh?"
"Naraku is making more sense then you right now, monk, and he is hardly conscious!" Sesshomaru growled.
"I want PINK daisies! No, purple! Hehehehehe!"
"Would you shut up, you stupid idiot!" Inuyasha growled.
"...I'm no idiot..." Miroku muttered sadly.
"Not you, moron! Naraku!"
"OH! OK, then!" Miroku smiled.
Naraku, with his eyes closed, pointed at a random person around him, which turned out to be Sesshomaru, "I love you."
"What is it with this time? First the old lady and now this!" Sesshomaru growled.
"Maybe it's the huge fur... thing." Miroku suggested.
"Will you two get a grip?" Inuyasha asked, then he moved onto the subject at hand, "If we can't kill Naraku right now. What are we going to do with the asshole?" He asked as the rat stumbled by in front of him.
"Beats me." Miroku said as he watched the rat sway around for a second in front of him before he gently used his foot to direct the rat back towards Naraku's passed out form. But it got slightly off-track.
"Well, " Sesshomaru began at the rat groggily walked into his foot, "First thing we have to do is tie him up."
"Who?" Miroku asked, "The rat?"
"No... Naraku." Sesshomaru corrected.
"But we should tie it up too." Inuyasha added, "So it doesn't scamper off... just in case it's a detachment or something."
"Who?" The monk asked, "Naraku?"
"No... the rat."
"Yes, then we need to find something to transport it with." Sesshomaru said as he pushed the rat away with his foot, a concerned look on his usually hard face.
"Who?" Asked Miroku, "Naraku or the rat?"
"Both."
"Then we will take 'em to Bob." Inuyasha told them as he nudged the rat off towards his half-brother.
"Oh, I don't think HE would kill Naraku." Miroku commented.
"Not to kill 'em." Inuyasha explained, "I think I heard somewhere that you need permission to kill someone in this time or you will be punished... horribly."
"Yes..." Sesshomaru replied, pushing the rat back towards the hanyou, "...And I don't want to lose all my hair!"
"Love lots..." Naraku muttered, "...My daisies... daisies, pretty... pretty like Sesshomaru's hair... I want hair like that..."
"You will never learn the secret to my beautiful hair!" The Lord proclaimed.
"...Silly, Sessy..." The Lord rambled, whether he actually heard Sesshomaru or was just talking to himself, I don't know. "...Nothing will... stop me... from having pretty hair... pretty like daisies..."
Sesshomaru sighed, "He's a determined bastard, I'll give him that much."
"Ya know, we also have to find someway to wash this asshole." Inuyasha commented as he nudged the rat off towards the monk, "He stinks so damn bad... I can't bare it."
"Who? The rat?" Miroku asked.
"No... Naraku."
"Oh... I'd rather wash the rat."
Leaving Miroku with the duty of watching Naraku and making sure the rat doesn't wobble away, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru went off in search of supplies. Inuyasha was in charge of finding rope, which he found that rather easily.
It was tied to a branch of a tree on the other side of the park just waiting there for him, holding up a little boy who sat swinging in an old tire.
Inuyasha walked up to the boy, "Get lost, kid." He ordered as he cracked his knuckles.
With one small glance to the oddly-dressed figure, the kid dashed off.
Inuyasha then jumped up on the branch and used his ever-so-sharp claws to slice the rope. Falling out of the tree (he lost his footing) and landing on the ground with a CRASH! Inuyasha grumpily picked himself up off the ground and grabbed both the rope and tire for usage. He then left back in the direction he had come, rubbing his sore back... damn rocks.
Sesshomaru's job was to find the 'transportation' unit, which he did succeed in finding rather quickly. He found it not far from a duck pond. Just rolling by in front of him, being pulled by some little boy... a little, red wagon. He took the wagon away from the kid easily. When the boy began to cry, he told the child to "Grow up, life is tough, get used to it." Before turning around and going back from which he came, pulling the little wagon behind him.
When the two returned to where they had left the other three, they found the monk with his back to Naraku, facing a small 'pen' of sticks which held the groggy rat.
Miroku looked up to them, "'Bout time you guys got back! I think Naraku is going to wake up any moment now!"
The Lord and Prince shifted their stare to the Dark Lord... who had flipped himself over and was now lying face-down on the ground.
After a moment of hearing some gurgled sounds, Inuyasha asked, "Can he breathe?"
"What do I look like?" Miroku asked, "A doctor?"
"A doctor... that's a laugh. You hardly qualify as a monk!" Inuyasha placed his things on the ground, "Sesshomaru, did you get the... the thing we wanted you to get?"
Sesshomaru held up the little wagon, "And I see that you have your rope, thus I can no longer say that you have never accomplished anything... what is that thing tied onto the end?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Inuyasha smirked, then, getting Miroku to hold the Dark Lord sitting upright, he jammed the tire down on Naraku's shoulders, "Extra-strong restraints!"
The hanyou then used the rest of his rope to tie the Lord up snugly before dumping Naraku onto the little, red wagon. Not wanting the rat to run away either, Inuyasha used a small string from the rope to hog-tie the rat.
"I also found a source of water not far from here." Sesshomaru commented as the rat was placed in the wagon beside the Dark Lord.
"Great! Let's go!" Inuyasha smirked, "Miroku?"
"Yeah?"
"Bring Naraku and the rat."
"Why do I have to do it?"
Inuyasha gave a side glance to Sesshomaru before the Western Lord stepped forward briskly, a cold look upon his every feature. "Because you're small, you're weak, you're insignificant, and because you are a human who has yet to find a use and must learn to must do just that before I rid the world of your stupidity!"
Miroku picked the handle to the wagon and smiled wearily, "Where to?"
With Inuyasha and Sesshomaru once again leading the way, Miroku pulled the wagon all the way to a duck pond on the exact opposite side of the park. All the way the monk grumbled, "Not far from here... my ass!" Once they arrived, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were the ones who had to throw Naraku in the pond since Miroku was passed out in exhaustion. This task was made quick difficult for the two considering their sensitive noses, Naraku's stench, and their pains of not getting any crap on themselves again. Picking the Lord up by each of his arms, the Prince and Lord then heaved the passed out form into the pond mercilessly, simply allowing him to fall how and where he may. Inuyasha, claws pinching the scruff of Lucky's neck, then sat the rat down on a rock in the pond so that the rodent was in the water without having to worry about drowning.
After a moment of bubbles trailing up the side of Naraku's face as he lay face-down in the pond-water, Miroku was forced by Sesshomaru and Inuyasha to not let their kill drown. So, heaving a heavy sigh, the monk stepped into the knee-high water and wadded across to where Naraku lay. After some difficulty, Miroku got the Dark Lord propped up (using eight sticks to cover every direction which he could lean) in the middle of the pond with the rat on a rock right beside him. Just when the monk was about to get out of the pond, one stick snapped and Naraku plopped back down in the water, forcing Miroku to once again go prop him back up.
Figuring it might take a bit to get the idiot to become less pathetic, each warrior sat on a different bench on each side of the pond, waiting as patient as each of their impatient natures would allow.
Naraku's head swayed from side to side as he started to regain some of his lost consciousness, "I'm going to rule this pathetic world..." He muttered, causing Sesshomaru to unsheathe Toukijin in pure hope that his enemy wasn't pathetic anymore. However, the Dark Lord finished his sentence. "...So I can plant the world full of daisies... yellow... pink... blue... purple... green..."
The Western Lord sighed and sheathed his sword, "How much longer is this going to take?" He crackled his knuckles, "My patience is wearing thin." His eyes narrowed, ((Or thinner than usual.))
Miroku's head popped up from gathering all sorts of different items around him to try and make a House of Garbage. However, just looking at the two pieces he was trying in vain to prop against each other, you could see he was failing at utterly at his little task. "They make green daisies now?"
Inuyasha stopped from flicking pebbles at Naraku. He had already hit the Dark Lord twice on the forehead and once in the eye and, from his point system, that was a sweet 200 points. "I don't think so... they make blue ones?"
"If you three don't shut up about daisies you will all be BURIED under the daisies! And I won't care what colour they are!" Sesshomaru yelled pointing a threatening finger at them, "And that goes for the rat too!"
Miroku looked horrified, "But orange will clash with my purple robes!"
"Roses..." Naraku's head rolled to one side, "...Prickly damn things..."
Sesshomaru re-crossed his arms over his chest with what might have passed as a pout, "That's better."
It took about half an hour, but, finally, Naraku began to regain his true self. The first clue to this happening was the Dark Lord brushing all the many, many sticks away from himself drowsily and began supporting the weight of his own upper body. The second clue was that the Dark Lord began to wink... at Sesshomaru... (this was, unknown to the Western Lord, caused by the tiny pebble stuck in his eye.)
Sesshomaru watched Naraku wink at him for a moment or two, "I don't think this plan of ours to make him less pathetic is working."
"Why do you say that?" Miroku asked.
"He's... winking at me."
Inuyasha smirked as he lined up another pebble, "Do you want the monk and I to leave you two love-birds alone?"
But it was on the third step that Naraku actually began to start making sense.
When he first started to come to, his vision was pretty clouded... to the point where all he could see was the slightly blurry versions of himself, Lucky and the seemingly endless water around them.
When the Lord noticed that both himself and his lucky rat were tied up (him with a strange-smelling, strange-looking, black circle), his first reaction was to turn to Lucky who seemed to had come to his senses several minutes earlier.
"What happened?" The Dark Lord asked quietly and he fidgeted in his restraints, "Where are we?"
When Lucky answered, the other three only heard squeaking, while Naraku understood every word, "I don't know... something to do with screaming... yelling... and very hard... things."
"The last thing I remember is coming out of the sue-er, as you call it."
"It's sewer... say it right or don't say it at all. Geeze, how did you ever survive long enough to become an adult? You act like you were born and raised in out in the middle of nowhere with no clue about modern technology or concepts! It's annoying!"
Naraku frowned, "I was."
The rat looked up at him with an unbelieving stare, "What? You were annoying?"
"No, I was raised in the middle of nowhere with none of these odd sights, sounds and smells." He looked a bit worried, "...Where am I?"
"Hiroshima... I think."
Thinking the rat had sneezed, the Lord replied, "Bless you."
Lucky rolled his eyes, "Hiroshima, JAPAN! As in the city?"
"What's a city?"
"Okay, wise-guy, what year do you think this is?"
"I don't know... somewhere in the 1500s? Maybe a little later... Look! A duck! Duck... duck, luck... luck, bad luck... bad luck, trying to get a stranger to kill Kikyou only for him to realize she was protected by a hanyou and thereby nearly getting killed but surviving to then come back to find me and nearly kill me - though he thought he killed me - only for me to get thrown off a cliff into a river which brought me right into the hands of the priestess I wanted to kill and I recall getting horny and marketing my body as a host for demons in similar fashion as a prostitute only to then boil with rage and turn priestess against hanyou and setting off into time the ripples which expand to what is clearly my eternal damnation because the bad guy never seems to win and we always come with some pathetic sob story that makes us look pathetic and SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME!" His eyes turned frantic, "Lucky, something's in here with us! It wants to eat us! Perhaps it's a giant squid-demon or a cat-demon... no, cat-demons don't like water... or, maybe they do? I have never asked a cat-demon if they liked water... I must ask one the next time I see one. I would assume they don't because normal cats don't... well, except Mr. Whiskers... he was my cat before I became all demony and I ate him," Lucky gave him a suspicious look, "But he loved to play in water... do you like to play in water?"
Ignoring all this, the rat picked out the only part of all that which was remotely useful, "The feudal era, huh? Well... if you were seriously born and raised in feudal era... that means your about 500 years into the future... round-about guess, of course, but close enough."
Naraku's eyes doubled, "500 years? How is that possible? It doesn't feel like it has been that long..." His face turned as horrified as Miroku's had been earlier, "I'm OLD!"
"Come on! You're not serious, are you? Time travel is theoretically impossible and, to cross off another theory, NO ONE can LIVE that LONG! Even idiots know that! Lets come about this logically, shall we? OK, how long were you walking around in the sewer?" Lucky asked in a know-it-all kinda way.
"Well... obviously... a very long time."
"You' re hopeless." Lucky sighed.
"You'd be surprised with how many people have told my that."
"I doubt it."
After a moment of nothing being said, Naraku struggled to free his hands that were tied behind his back with his miasma, only to frown, "Something is wrong..." He muttered.
Lucky looked up to the Dark Lord looking ever bit bored, "What now?"
"My miasma... it's not... I can't... there must be something in the air..." He turned his head back to his faithful rat, "So, you really don't know where we are? Or how we got here?"
"Other than somewhere in Japan, no, I don't... but maybe they do." Lucky said as he nodded his head to the figures around them who still sat on the benches.
When Naraku looked and found his vision gave him that distance, he paled to see Inuyasha. When he turned again, he went even paler to see Sesshomaru. However, when he hesitantly turned a third time to see the monk, the Dark Lord's eyebrows rose before he looked to Lucky and shrugged in a not caring motion.
This action Miroku took personally as he jump to his feet, knocking over his House of Garbage that he had finally gotten the first level on, "I'll kill you, Naraku!" He then began to untie his wind-tunnel.
Sesshomaru, who was sitting on the exact opposite side of the monk, frowned, "This perhaps was not the ideal choice of seat."
When Miroku unleashed his wind-tunnel, he found it to be not as powerful as before, but it was... uh... 'sucking', nonetheless. However, Sesshomaru decided he was not ready for a trip into the black abyss of a monk's hand - like, really, where did all the demons GO? - and he stood swiftly before ripping his metal bench out of the concrete ground. In the similar fashion as what a child would toss a small ball, Sesshomaru threw his large weapon towards the monk with no thought put into how the human would deal with it. The bench flew upward, out of reach of the wind-tunnel, before coming down... right on top of the monk.
When the wind died down, Sesshomaru was in the same place only standing, Inuyasha had not moved from his position on his bench (well... he was sitting closer to the edge now), and Naraku was no longer in the middle of the pond but was now near the edge... with a group of ducks and one rat piled up behind him.
Sesshomaru growled as he tried to smooth out his now-poofy hair, "Foolish, human! Watch where you are aiming!"
Miroku made a small, "Uh huh," As he lay underneath the bench. Lucky for him it was on top of him with the seat part down... getting him trapped, unharmed, inside the metal bars of the bench.
"Hey, look!" Naraku smirked, "A monk in a cage!" Lucky squeaked something from behind Naraku, to which the Dark-Lord answered, "Actually, I found the BREEZE rather refreshing myself."
Miroku yelled from underneath the bench, "You do not know the power of the curse you have bestowed on my family!" The monk stopped and thought about it, "Wait... yes, you do... nevermind!"
Leaving the monk where he was for the moment, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru stepped up towards the Dark Lord who was now at the edge of the pond. Said evil demon paled slightly as they neared him, but tried not to let it show.
Nothing was said between the three of them, only the odd grumbling of the monk in the background was heard on top of the slightly dramatic breeze that made all three of the demons' hair blew widely before it died down.
"Naraku," Sesshomaru growled as he cracked his knuckles, "The winds of time have finally proclaimed your end."
"Wait!" Naraku yelled, "If you kill me now, my rat army will find you and avenge my death!"
Three sets of eyes fell onto Lucky, who, stilled tied up, was now floating on the back of a nearby duck.
"Lucky!" Naraku yelled "Get off of that thing! You don't know where its been!"
"Lucky?" Inuyasha questioned with a quirked brow.
Naraku growled, "Yes! His name is Lucky! You have a problem with that, dog-ears?"
"No," The hanyou stated with a hand coming to his temple, "I'm just finding that the more I get to know you, the more I wish I hadn't stole Sesshomaru's fur at the beginning of all this. Some people are just a lot easier to kill the less ya know about 'em."
"I see." Naraku nodded understandingly, "Also, I am interested in how your group came to be. There's Sesshomaru with the two kinds of things that he hates most in the world: half-demons and humans. Then you, Inuyasha, with your brother that you would rather disembowel then send a Birthday Gift. I can see the monk and you together... but the three of you together in a group is simply comical to me"
"That is not true, I have given him a birthday gift!" Inuyasha growled, "It was in a flaming bag, I left it on his doorstep!"
"Yes, hanyou... that was quite thoughtful of you by the way." Sesshomaru growled sarcastically, then he turned to Naraku to answer the Dark Lord's question, "It is purely a group formed by accident." He assured, "Now... prepare to die!"
Inuyasha glared to his brother, "Have you forgotten what I said about getting Bob's permission first? I thought you said didn't want to lose all your hair?"
"That was BEFORE he insulted me."
"What? He didn't insult you!"
"He said we were a group."
"That isn't an insult! You don't even know what a insult is, moon-boy!"
"I do so. It is any point in a conversation where my name and your name comes up in the same sentence."
Naraku shrugged, "Well, if you think killing me is worth losing all of that well managed hair of yours..."
The Lord thought about it for a second, "Where do you think Bob would be?" He asked quickly, playing with a lock of his hair.
Inuyasha shrugged, "I don't know, but we'll find him... then we'll kill Naraku."
"You can't! Fear my rat army! They will nibble on your toes and steal your cheese!"
After letting Miroku out from underneath the bench, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha grumpily picked up the still bound Naraku and dumped him in the little, red wagon. He was a bit less stinky now, but the stench wasn't completely gone. Lucky, picked up off of the duck's back by Miroku, joined the Dark Lord in the tiny wagon a moment later.
The bottom of the wagon buckled and the tiny wheels bent out sideways at the heaviness of the load.
Naraku growled, "I don't weigh that much, dammit!"
Getting Miroku to one again pull the wagon, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru lead the way, followed shortly by the monk, then the small, creaking wagon and its contents.
TA DA! Done! Chapter Ten up and ready! I didn't find it that bad, did you? I was hoping to have a bit more humor, but not all the chapters can be purely comedy... you have to actually get somewhere with the story after all! I thought there were some pretty good parts in here, myself anyway.
So... what does Naraku mean by "There must be something in the air"? Stay tuned to find out! (P.S. - actually... it was come in later... so don't expect to have all questions answered in the next chappie... I'm working on it... don't worry)
Sense I made you laugh, the least you can do is make me feel happy! Don't forget to R&R