A/N: ....I'm somewhat disappointed I got so few reviews for the last chapter. I personally fairly liked the angst, but I guess it wasn't everyone's cup of tea, eh? No matter. These chapters have been coming out like crazy for me. It's not often I get an extended writing spell, so when I do, I take advantage of it. A big, big, big thank you to those of you who did review (e.g. Seelenspiel and vx-Luna-xv)as well as everyone else who has reviewed for past chapters (e.g elebelly, Fairheartstrife, Biskitty, sam, xXxbrokenxXx, macalaniaprincess, Oceanee, Alialka, Kitsune13, Binkledup). I'm rather terrible at getting back to people who review, so I figured I ought to get your recognition out there somehow.
Anyhow, this chapter is a bit dry because there's a lot of explaining going on, especially a more coherent version of what went on at the Pillar among other things. For those of you who were a little put-off by the guilt-ridden Tifa who was kicking herself into the ground last chapter, fear not. This will be her last appearance. Not to say she'll have fully recovered, but her optimistic self will be back--at least on the surface. Her emotional problems are far from over. ;)
I'll stop rambling now. Here's the next chapter. Read, enjoy, and leave a review! Thanks.
IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE
Chapter Nine
Cloud stared at the door for a long time after Tifa left wondering why it bothered him so much that she wouldn't let him protect her. Finally, he turned to Barret. "She's not okay." It wasn't a question.
Barret sighed deeply, for once not looking to get into an argument with the shorter man. "No, she's not."
"Then why'd you let her go out on her own? It's dangerous."
The big man growled. "Don't think I don't know or I don't care. That girl there…she and Marlene are the only family I got left, and we're the only family she's got. So don't you dare for a second question me like that. I only want what's best for her."
"What's best for her sure as hell isn't running out on her own when she's obviously not okay."
"Bullshit. You think you really know her cuz you knew her when you was kids? You don't know her. You don't know that if she don't keep movin', keep workin' she'll literally go crazy. She's seen too much, been through too much to just stop in one place for too long. If I tried to stop her from goin', it'd only make those demons runnin' around in her pretty little head get stronger. Damn it, sometimes I really wish she couldn't fight so well so I'd have some reason to baby her, but the truth is she's saving my ass half the time."
Barret sighed, the lines around his eyes a little more pronounced and his broad shoulders sagged a little lower. "She's the strongest broken woman I've ever met but she's still broken. And if you don't see that and if you don't let her handle things her own way…maybe there's a small chance you'll get through to her, but there's an even bigger one that you'll break her completely. Trust me, I've tried and it nearly killed her. You push her too hard and she'll crumble."
Cloud pondered this for a moment before his mouth spoke without his permission. "I just want her to be safe."
"Don't we all?" Barret smirked, for once agreeing with the ex-SOLDIER on a topic. Then his humor faded to dead seriousness. "The safest thing for her is for you to not pry. We all got secrets and we all got a past, but hers'll kill her if you're not careful."
He was struck silent at Barret's words. For a long time, he stared at the mug of hot tea—though now it was more lukewarm than hot—that Elmyra had poured for him, and it barely registered in his senses when he heard Barret going back upstairs to care for Marlene.
He wondered why he'd reacted so harshly to her wanting to go out. He knew—he knew, after all he'd seen her fight—that she was more than capable of taking care of herself , but something deep in him had flared dangerously and all his years of precious self-control mocked him cheerfully on its way out. Even though she said she'd be back, even though he knew she could and would beat the crap out of anything standing in her way, even though she tried desperately to hide the hurt from showing in her eyes and masked it behind cold determinism…he couldn't help but feel like she was walking out of his life completely.
He wanted control and order over his life and right now, that control was quickly slipping out of his fingers.
Maybe it was the build-up of everything that happened so suddenly.
Last night had been utter hell, he reflected. By the time they'd gotten to the pillar, Wedge was dead, Biggs and Jessie were both severely injured (he tried to forget the fact that they both probably would have survived if they'd only been injured and the pillar hadn't fallen or vice versa but the combination of the two proved fatal).
It'd taken a long time to reach the top, with the occasional airborne robot getting in their way, and by the time they did, even his legs burned from exertion. He would have wondered how Tifa was faring considering how arduous the climb was for even him, but the rattle of gunshots aimed at his head had him ducking into a roll, the pulse of mako-laced adrenaline filling his veins.
His katana blade was out with a flash of light and the sharp blade glinted in the floodlights, several regular Shinra troops easily dispatched before he was challenged by a Turk—judging by the immaculate suit she was wearing—though she proved to be little more than a nuisance. A new recruit, no doubt.
Two more Turks rushed at him in challenge, one carrying an axe-like weapon and the other a set of semi-automatic handguns. He moved fluidly between their attacks while quickly assessing their strengths. Axe had little finesse but his brute force had even Cloud reeling back on his heels when he blocked a side swipe straight on. Guns was obviously more of a support role, but was smart about when to distract him with a round of bullets to allow his companion an opening.
Suddenly, Tifa's angry voice broke through his concentration. "Damn it Reno, what the hell do you think you're doing? Stop the bomb!"
Cloud found himself wondering briefly—irrelevantly—how she knew the Turk. The very same one who'd been in Aeris' church he noticed.
"Sorry, sweet cheeks, but I'm just following orders."
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her throw herself at Reno, her fists coming in a flurry—almost as if she'd been beserked—and in her fury, she'd only cried out once when Reno's EMR came crashing down on her forearm before she counterattacked and swept the Turk's feet from under him. Barret had also joined the fray apparently, and when he wasn't setting off his gun arm in bouts of raining bullets, he was fiddling with the computer unit sitting in the middle of the platform.
"Damn it! They got some kinda code to lock it. I can't disarm it!"
The whirring beats of a helicopter pulled their attention to the skies and suddenly all four Turks—Reno, the one Cloud had disabled and the two he'd been fighting—retreated and one by one jumped onto the ladder that had been unrolled from the chopper.
Barret cursed and let loose a round of shots at the chopper, but a deep, arrogant voice projected from the chopper's speakers stopped him.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. We wouldn't want to hurt our special guest, now would we?"
The three Avalanche members looked up in surprise to see a tall, well-kept Turk with long slicked back hair standing on the narrow platform outside the helicopter. What really caught their attention, however, was the girl in the soft pink dress—such a stark contrast with all the drab gray and blue and black of her surroundings—and long braided hair currently bowed down over her knees.
"Aeris!"
The flower girl looked up from her curled position and even then—even then!—a small smile graced her lips. "Don't worry, Tifa. She's safe."
Cloud felt a feral growl rumble deep in his chest when the Turk turned and slapped her soundly for speaking.
"What are you going to do with Aeris?"
The Turk smirked. "That is none of your concern, but don't worry. Aeris is the last of the Ancients. We won't harm her. Not that it really matters for you. Try to disarm the explosives if you like, but without the code, you're more likely to blow it up even faster." The chopper began pulling away. "Well then, I suppose we won't be seeing you again."
"God damn little bastards!" exploded Barret.
Cloud went to Tifa's side, the slightest hints of concern flashing within his hard eyes. He wanted to reach for her but his hands stayed stubbornly by his side.
"What do we do? What do we do now, Cloud?"
She stared at him with wild, lost eyes and he felt his stomach clench tightly. He knew that was only one viable option left and that was to find a way to escape themselves. Somehow he couldn't quite bring himself to tell her that truth though.
Thankfully, he was spared having to do so when Barret's bellow came through. "Tifa! Spiky! Over here!"
He was standing by the railing holding onto a thick cable that ran high into the darkness. It was dangerous as hell and if it was attached to the plate above Sector Seven they were dead anyway, but he supposed it was as good a chance as any.
Finding that Tifa was still in a state of shock, he unceremoniously picked her up—he knew there was something really wrong when she didn't protest at all—and ran with her to Barret. Once there, she seemed to comprehend that she needed to hold on for dear life because her grip on the cable was tight, so tight that he could almost see the white knuckles clenching under her leather gloves. He swung himself on the other side of Barret and then they jumped, the explosives going off one by one behind them.
Somehow they'd landed in the playground between Sectors Six and Seven—the same place he'd been with Aeris when he'd seen Tifa carried away in a chocobo carriage—and it was disconcerting to see that nothing but rubble now lay beyond the gate.
Barret had, predictably, exploded, unleashing several rounds of bullets into the broken concrete. Tifa had just been lost. Confused. But also strangely calm. Her panic from before had receded and all that was left was a strange kind of apathy almost as if she was sleep-walking. It made his skin tingle uncomfortably to see her like that.
Cloud hadn't paid much attention to Barret's tirade—he didn't want to feel his sorrow—until Tifa's clear voice suddenly rang out softly. "Marlene…I think Marlene is safe."
Barret whirled around to face her with a speed that belied his physical structure. "What?"
"Aeris…she said 'she's' safe. I think she was talking about Marlene. She must have gotten her out."
Cloud's jaw tightened. That's right. Aeris. He'd brought her into this mess; it was only fitting for him to bring her back out of it. Not really knowing what he was doing, his feet took him toward Sector Five, toward Aeris' home. He had to at least tell her mother what happened to her daughter. Vaguely, he heard Tifa's voice call out for him, but suddenly he couldn't move anymore, his legs crumpling beneath him and a piercing headache cut through his head.
…
Blink.
"The blood of the Ancients flow through me."
Blink.
"You're a traitor. You're all traitors."
Blink.
"It is my destiny to rule this planet."
…
When he came to again, his head had been cradled in warmth, and despite the metallic smell of blood and musky sweat, the scent that ensconced him was comforting in its realness. He blinked his eyes open reluctantly to find himself staring back at a pair of worried wine eyes. He wondered how long he stared and there was a distant voice telling him he should look away, but it wasn't long before he felt her shift around him. It was only then that he realized his head was pillowed by Tifa's thighs and her dexterous gloveless hands were gently massaging his temples, the crown of his head, and back to his temples again. He was certain he'd never felt so relaxed before.
When she finally spoke, her voice came out little more than a whisper. "Are you alright?"
He nodded, his eyebrows knitting in a frown as the name tumbled out before he could think about it. "Sephiroth."
He immediately regretted his lack of motor control when he felt her muscles suddenly tighten around him and her hands stopped their ministrations. Her voice came out strangled. "What?"
He shook his head, finally willing himself to separate himself from her calming presence and stand. "I—nothing…Aeris' home isn't far from here."
The other two nodded, not needing him to finish his thought. It was their responsibility to tell her family what had happened to her.
And so they'd headed back to Sector Five, the journey back a quiet and tense one. But, instead of chastising them like they'd expected, Elmyra had been exceptionally kind and understanding. They realized she was where Aeris got all her own warmth and compassion.
To Barret's utter joy and relief, Marlene had also been there. To Tifa's utter guilt and remorse, Aeris had traded in her own freedom for the little girl's safety.
At Elmyra's insistence, they'd stayed the night there. Tifa had locked herself away in Aeris' bedroom, not speaking to anyone after they'd arrived other than to hug Marlene tightly and whisper into her hair that she'd been so scared. Cloud somehow knew that those words had been meant for the little girl's ears only, but she'd forgotten that his enhanced senses could pick up those little whispers. He wisely chose not to comment.
He himself hardly slept that night, thoughts about Ancients and Aeris and Sephiroth running wild in his head. When he asked Elmyra why Shina wanted Aeris so badly, the questions that emerged proved more numerous than the answers that were given.
Apparently, Aeris was not her biological daughter, but a girl she had adopted one day when she came upon her and her dying mother at the train station. A few years passed by peacefully until the Turks—Tseng, the one who had spoken to them from the helicopter—finally came knocking on their door and demanding that Aeris come back with them to the lab. For whatever reason, they'd never simply hauled her away against her will, at least not when she was home, but they were beginning to get desperate. Something about a Promised Land.
Though the mother and daughter both denied and pretended she was not different from any other little girl her age, it was painfully undeniable that Aeris was indeed the last of the Ancients and gifted with the unique powers that came with that heritage. Hence, why she could make flowers grow in the middle of the slums and heal without materia. What was it about Ancients that made them so valuable? That Shinra would stoop to the point of sending the Turks after her?
And then there was the matter of Sephiroth. Just how did he fit in as an Ancient if Aeris was supposed to be the last surviving one?
It didn't make sense, and the more he thought about it, the more he found that there were glaring gaps in his memory. More than he dared think about.
And so when Tifa came down this morning and seemed—for all intents and purposes, at least in his mind—intent on walking straight into danger, everything—all the confusion and tension and frustration—that had been building since last night, and probably before that, simply snapped. Because, for whatever inexplicable reason, he couldn't stand having her leave him again. Not after the last time he'd thought he'd lost her to the keen blade of a madman.
And something deeper still wondered why she'd suddenly become so important to him, why he couldn't bear the thought of failing her. Yes, he'd promised her before when they were younger and he'd also promised Biggs, but he knew this ran deeper—it disturbed him when he realized he couldn't even tell how deep it went.
His eyes hardened. What was he thinking? He didn't need to get involved any more than he already had. He would save Aeris, get her back home and then he was done with Avalanche, done with any childhood friend. He didn't need emotional attachments. They would only be a liability. He was a mercenary, damn it. He'd go where the price was highest.
And if she wanted to play cold and hide her emotions, well then he would show her what true indifference was.
He'd gotten along perfectly fine without her before and he would be fine without her now. Who cared if she was emotionally unstable right now? He didn't.
He also ignored the voice on his shoulder telling him that he was lying.
…
Tifa didn't know what to think after hearing Barret essentially tell Cloud to leave her alone. She hated the fact that he was treating her like some fragile doll that would shatter at the slightest pressure, even if there was a thread of truth to it. She just—she didn't need to be babied. She didn't want to be babied. But she also knew he was looking out for her. In the years since coming to Midgar, Barret had been an older brother and almost a father to her. And while sometimes she couldn't stand his near smothering protective tendencies, they also made her smile.
It was nice to have someone care more for her than whether or not bed her for the night. Bartending had not been her ideal career choice, but she was good at it and it was easy money, even if she had to endure night after night of lecherous eyes roaming her body. And sometimes, God she just wanted to—actually, she sometimes did—beat the living daylights out of some of the idiots who came to try their hand at getting in her pants.
But now…now with Sector Seven demolished, she realized she'd be willing trade another twenty years of that kind of life if it meant saving so many thousands of lives.
Shaking her head, she tried to shrug off the dark thoughts brewing dangerously in her head. Maybe she should go for another run she thought wryly.
With a deep breath, she pushed through the doors and found a pair of frighteningly sharp blue eyes automatically snap to her. Cloud was still sitting at the breakfast nook, his hands cradling a mug absent-mindedly. His eyes, showing only the slightly hints of surprise, took in her change of attire slowly. Yet, for all the intensity in his gaze, she knew that he wasn't doing it in a disrespectful manner like so many of the men who tried to undress her with their eyes. He was just examining her, making sure she wasn't injured.
And for a reason she hated, she felt almost giddy for his concern.
She fought the urge to squirm under his intense gaze, and in a deliberate act of defiance, she held her head a little higher and dared him to challenge her. But he didn't say anything and though neither did his gaze turn away, she thought he looked contemplative more than anything. She wasn't sure if she'd count that as a victory or a loss.
Refusing to allow him the privilege of asking questions first, she quickly spoke, "You're going after Aeris."
He watched her curiously, carefully, almost as if she would disappear right before his eyes if he looked away for even a second. Then he nodded, slowly. "Yes."
She also nodded in response. She'd figured as much. "I'm going with you."
His eyes immediately hardened and she prepared herself to argue why she should, but then the rigid glint in his eyes dissipated. Perhaps he'd finally realized that he would be insulting her to refuse her this. "We're going up against Shinra. You have to be prepared for the worst."
"I know. I just—I can't say here and do nothing. It'll drive me insane."
He nodded his understanding, but Tifa wondered how much he really understood.
Loud footsteps clamoring down the stairs announced Barret's presence. "I'm goin' too. I got a score to settle with them Shinra bastards. 'Sides," he turned slightly sheepish, an expression Cloud didn't expect to ever see on the ever beligerent, ever outspoken—to put it one way—man, "Marlene is safe because of that girl Aeris. I gotta do my part to bust her out."
Tifa nodded her agreement. "Shinra headquarters won't be hard to find once we're above the plate, but how do we get there? The trains aren't functioning anymore."
"Wall Market. There's a buncha lowlife hangin' around there all the time that might know a thing or two about gettin' up to the plate."
Elmyra joined them in the kitchen, her eyes concerned but unable to hide that inextinguishable spark of hope. Tifa wished she still had that hope herself, but she knew it'd be a long time before she could have that again, if ever. Still, she had no hope, but neither would she despair.
"You are going to find her?" asked the older woman.
Cloud was the one to respond. "Yes. We'll bring her back safely."
Elmyra smiled, the soft crinkle of her eye lending her that kind motherly look. "Thank you."
Tifa wondered why she would thank them when it was their fault Aeris got caught in the first place. When she caught the steady gaze of Aeris' mother looking her way, she struggled to not look away. She felt like Elmyra could see straight through any façade she may put up and it scared her. Indeed, it seemed like Elmyra really could read her thoughts when she went up beside her and gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Tifa bit the inside of her cheeks to keep her eyes from watering. It was something her mother used to do before…Before.
The older woman smiled quietly. "It's not your fault. Shinra has been at our door for so many years; I think Aeris knew she was bound to get caught of these days. I'm sure she was happy that she could save that darling little girl when they finally did catch up with her."
Tifa forced herself to nod, but her guilt was screaming at her. Then why did she feel like she'd just torn a family apart? Was that really not her fault either? Could she ever truly make herself believe it?
So out of sorts was she that she missed the last thing Elmyra said to Cloud before they all finally exited the door.
"That's a good girl you've got there. Take care of her now."
Neither did she hear it when Cloud muttered back a quiet "I will."