AN: Alright people I'm bringing this crazy monkey ride to a close. Let's just see if I have enough psychoticness left in my head to do this.

Sweet Hell chap.10

The Rockbell's and The Elric's decided they were going to pay for Winry and Ed's wedding as a present to the couple. But their one condition was the wedding had to take place in a week. Of course Edward freaked and Winry went hysterical wondering how they were going to pull it off so fast. Sara and Trisha had insisted that there be a Jell-O shot bar at the reception so Envy volunteered to be the Jell-O shot platform. Winry's mom and Trisha Elric had taken her to pick out her dress and they were a little concerned about it. It was a white lacy skin tight little number, strapless that barely past her ass cheeks, Edward on the other hand thought it was HOT!

As the day came closer the friends had been partying with each other. Due to the fact neither Winry nor Ed wanted a bachelor or bachelorette party (too much of a temptation for Ed Winry thought!) But Edward reassured her that she was the only woman for him and soon she would be more of the only woman for him. After she knocked him unconscious for that statement Al and Lyle carried him to the car from their brunch with their parents.

The day arrived and everyone was plastered of course before the wedding except Winry. Trisha had talked Edward into doing Jell-O shots before the wedding it seemed that had become Trisha and Sara's new pastime.

Alina was in charge of the wedding music and boy did she have a surprise for everyone. As Edward stumbled to the altar she slammed the play button on the as the music started Edward began to look around frantically thinking any second Michael Myers was going to attack him because the theme from 'Halloween' was blasting through the speakers. Al snuck up behind him with a plastic knife and began doing jabbing motions at him "Eh, Eh, EH" Edward turned to Alina "Reeeeally" then he turned and punched Al in the face knocking him face first into a bridesmaids chest. As he looked up from her huge bosoms he grinned a toothless grin spiting his front tooth out starting a chain reaction. As the tooth flew through the air it hit Mr. Monrey in the eye and he in turn spun around with his drink spilling it on the front of Hohenheim's pants. Hohenheim jumped up and caught Lyle under the chin sending him backwards falling over the flower display. Knocking the flowers over as they fell at Winry's feet at the end of the isle and she face-palmed.

Edward was so drunk he didn't even remember the ceremony. Then as the reception rolled around no one was even sure he made it through that due to the fact he was face down on the table through the whole party snoring.

Envy was letting the mother in laws get their fill of Jell-O shots off him till Hohenheim and Mr. Rockbell shut it down due to the fact both women were on the dance floor trying their hand at stripping. Trisha kept yelling while swinging her hips "If my baby can do it so can I."

Lyle was in the car jacking off when Roy walked out "WHOA DUDE! AHHHH" he turned and walked away. A few hours later Roy opened the closet door to get someone's jacket and there was Lyle again "FUCK DUDE PUT THAT AWAY BEFORE YOU BLIND YOURSELF" It was a few hours later Roy saw Lyle on the couch and he walked over "What the fuck was all the jacking off for about dude?" Lyle looked up "You know those little blue pills they say if you have an erection for more than four hours to seek medical attention." Roy looked at him confused "Yeah" Lyle looked up "Well I don't have the money for medical attention so I'm making sure I get the most out of my erections." Roy just face-palmed then ran his hand down his face "So how long have you had the erection for?" Lyle smiled this stupid goofy smile "Just an hour." Roy couldn't take it anymore before he wanted to smack the crap out of him so he walked off.

Ling was dancing with Alina and Al was getting jealous as he watched them. He thought putting beads on the floor would make Ling slip and he could swoop in and save Alina before she hit the floor. Not taking into consideration all the fucking drunk people on the floor Al sprang his trap sending white beads from the necklace he lifted off of one of Mrs. McClanahan's senior friends as she napped in the salad dish. He watched as his plan back fired everyone began to slip and fall and Mrs. Authur slipped but didn't fall she rode the little white beads towards him flailing her arms and yelling "OH MY SOMEONE SAVE ME!" Upon seeing Al in front of her thinking he was trying to stop her "My night in shining armor" Al watched as the husky woman roared straight at him and upon landing on him she squashed him into the wall causing him to black out from suffocation.

Mr. Monrey had got his fill of Jell-O shots off a female named Muffy and he began to sashay his way onto the dance floor wiggling his hips to the music. Joining the two mother in laws he began his own little strip tease while bumping and grinding on Trisha and Sara which only pissed of Hohenheim and Mr. Rockbell.

Winry reached over and pulled Edward's head up by the hair "Edward look at your mother." Edward smiled a drunk smile "Look at your mother dear." Then he noticed what they were doing "Is my mother bumping and grinding on Mr. Monrey?" Winry turned to him "Yes" Edward stood up "WAY TO GO MOM!" then he face planted onto the ground.

Later that evening Envy found Mr. Monrey duct taped in the bathroom to the hand dryer by his ass cheeks. He had to call for help to get the poor man off so they didn't rip anything essential off him.

As the night wound down people were passed out everywhere. Thank god the reception was held in Edward's back yard.

As Edward awoke the next morning he grabbed his throbbing head not remembering anything from yesterday morning. He looked over and tapped Winry on the shoulder only when she turned over it was Riza "AHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?"

She smiled a sleepy smile and grinned "Don't you remember lover?" Edward thought for a minute but last night was a blur. She held up her left hand and showed him the ring "We got married last night lover. You told Winry she was a nice piece of ass but you needed a real woman." Edward was freaking out how the fuck could he do that? She leaned towards him "Give us a kiss" she puckered her lips at Edward and he fell out of the bed trying to get away from her. Just then the door flew open and Winry yelled "I GOT YOU, YOU FUCKER THAT WILL TEACH YOU NOT TO GET SMASHED BEYOND FUCKED UP AT MY WEDDING!"

Edward's eyes widened as he looked at Riza "We're not married then?" Riza laughed and took the ring off handing it back to Winry "No lover you married the right one and the only one." Edward fell backwards on the ground and began to breathe easily again as Winry leaned down "Do you love me Edward?" He looked up and her and narrowed his eyes "GO GET THE WHIP CREAM WOMAN MY HORMONES ARE IN CONTROL NOW!" and as she stood up he lifted up and smacked her ass.

AN: I'm sorry people but my crazy ass sense of humor went completely into screwed up. I am glad this turkey ride is over now back to more serious things. This is what happens when you get a week off work. VIVA LA WORK! I can't wait to get back.