Sadly, I still haven't acquired Nightshade :(

Consider this my apology for leaving you all for…you know…a month...yaaah, anywho! Here you are, my darlings!

~Chapter Ten: All I Have Left~

~Mason~

Monroe and I both hadn't moved. Not even an inch. We now both sat on the floor, our backs against the wall and our shoulders nearly touching. Nothing else could be done with the building surrounded. There was no chance of anyone getting outside now.

Neville had been our only hope.

I'd been trying to protect him, trying to sort out the feelings I had for him, trying to work up the courage to tell him, trying so hard to make it up to him for what I'd done, what I'd put him through. And then I'd let him run right into a mob of Guardians defenseless. I sighed, my eyes falling on that goddamned little red light.

What happens now? What happens to me? What happens to my pack?

Oh God, my pack. If we left…What would happen to them? I couldn't leave them. Not here—not anywhere. I'll have to go get them, but to do that I'd have to get out of here. With Neville gone I had no reason to be here; I'm not risking anything by leaving. If anything I'll lure the Guardians away.

My eyes drifted back to the stupid light but my breath hitched and I straightened. It was green. The damned light was fucking green. My voice was quiet, nearly a whisper, but so excited and full of joy. "Monroe…Look."

He did and his eyes widened as he sat up. "The light…"

"It's fucking green," I finished for him with a wild grin.

"It's fucking green," he shot up and yanked down the lever. My stomach dropped suddenly and my head spun as my arms flailed for something—anything—to cling to. It only lasted seconds, but by the end of it I was dizzy and falling over sideways. A firm hand took me by the arm and I looked at the smirking Searcher. "You're lucky. Most first-timers throw up."

"Don't speak so soon," I grumbled as my stomach slowly settled. He settled me against the wall and I closed my eyes to help with the dizziness. "What the hell just happened?"

He smiled down at me, "We moved the Headquarters. Now, come on, we have to get going. He could still be hurt."

"He—Neville. Shit, where is he if we moved? Did we leave him?"

"The safe house moves with Headquarters. He's safely inside," he began unlocking the door and I hurried to help him quickly finding a reason to get over the sudden wave of dizziness. Once the door was unlocked I sprinted outside then froze. There was no snow. It was an open prairie filled with flowers. The sun was high in the sky here, not fading into the sunset. Monroe was ahead of me moving quickly towards a small building on the other side of the prairie. I followed and quickly caught up as he pushed a small circular pendant into a seal and heard the door—covered with a long smear of blood—unlock with a low beep.

"Nev? Nev, can you hear me?" I called through the door. Monroe shouldered it open and we both froze for a moment. The inside was covered will pooling blood and lying in the center of the crimson pool was Nev's small, broken body. I fell to my knees at his side and clutched his hand.

I was shocked at how cold it was. I fought his stiff fingers and curled them around my hand, glancing at his face. His lips were a sickly blue color and if I'd thought him pale before, he was even paler now. He was covered in blood and had claw and fang marks littering his body. But by far the most worrying thing was what I couldn't hear.

A heartbeat.

Monroe's eyes were on his son's open palm. In it lay the same pendant he wore: a circular, silver pendant on a black chain that should've been around his neck. Why would he take it off? He knelt down beside him and began taking Neville's pulse. He pulled away and began doing chest compressions. Without looking at me, he questioned, "Do you know how to perform CPR?"

"Ugh, yah. Yah, I know how to do CPR," I replied in as calm of voice as I could manage. I'd seen a lot of dead bodies in my time, why was his so different?

"Good. Take over for me while I get the first aid kit," he left his side and snatched a small white box. I took over, trying not to go too hard with the chest compressions. I'd never done them on a human—always a Guardian. Monroe came back and began putting pressure on the wounds. "Now a breath," he instructed.

I hesitated for a moment before bending down and plugging his nose as I blew air into his lungs. His lips were cold, but soft and under any other circumstances I would've loved to stay there for hours just with my lips on his.

I pulled away and continued the chest compressions. I noticed then that Monroe was talking into some contraption but frankly didn't care much; my focus was on Neville and Neville only. His words echoed in the back of my mind.

"…in the safe house…probable internal bleeding, severe lacerations to the torso and upper body, possible head trauma…requesting EMT and any other possible medical attention. Get a gurney down here now…"

I watched Neville's limp form hopelessly pleading for him to just breathe again. I bent to his lips again and gave another breath. I noticed this time that his mouth tasted of blood. I pulled away with a hard swallow.

He might just be gone…

I went a little harder and gritted my teeth. "Come on, Nev, don't die on me yet, you asshole…"

Monroe glanced at me, but said nothing. He simply kept applying pressure to the wounds. I went on seeing no reason to stop, "You brat, wake up already. I did not risk everything just to sit here and watch you die so wake the hell up and just fucking breathe, okay? Dammit, Neville, please breathe…please…"

I moved and gave him another breath. I pulled away and began putting all of my effort into making him breathe again, trying to go hard but not too hard that I crushed his ribs. "You owe me this much," I hissed, "I have done too much for you to ditch me now…Come on!"

Monroe glanced towards the door but quickly looked away back to Neville. He put two fingers back to check for a pulse and I paused to see the result. He straightened, "He's got a pulse," he leaned over trying to feel what—if anything—was leaving his lips, "He's still not breathing. Keep giving him breaths."

I did as I was told and continued to give him breath after breath until his body jerked with the ragged, wet breath that followed. His eyes fluttered open only for a moment before rolling to the back of his head in a wave of pain. "Nev," I said relieved beyond belief, "Oh God, you're alive. You're alive…"

I brushed his matted, bloody hair away from his closing eyes and beamed wildly at the small boy. He may have looked broken, but hearing his heartbeat thudding in his chest gave me the hope that he'd be okay. He was a Searcher; they didn't die easily. And maybe hope was enough right then…

"It's okay, Neville, it's okay," Monroe murmured as the medics and EMT's rushed in, shoving me aside. Fingers encircled around my forearm, ripping my hand from Nev's, and pulled me outside. I turned to face Shay, who was wearing a very grim face.

I stammered, "Nev—is he going to be okay? I should be with him-"

"No, it's better if you stay away until he's stable. Give them a few hours—he may need surgery and he most definitely needs some serious stiches. Calm down, just for a few moments at least," he soothed.

I began pacing as they hurried past with Neville loaded on the gurney. Monroe paused, his eyes searching for me and his hands bloody like my own. He strode over and stood before me taking a deep breath. "I understand that obligations are in order. So, on behalf of my son, thank you for all of your efforts, Mason." He swallowed, "And on behalf of me and every Searcher here, you are more than welcome to stay."

My jaw nearly dropped and I froze, staring at him wide-eyed.

"I understand it is…unexpected and…will seem unnatural. It will for all of us at first, but I'm sure once we all adjust it will become like, like, second nature," he attempted a smile. "And it is perfectly alright with me if you intend to visit Neville in the infirmary. You have my permission." He nodded to Shay and then to me despite his obvious unhappiness about his last words, "I'll see you both soon. My son needs my attention."

I almost didn't speak up, but after pushing down my fear and doubt, I closed my eyes and sighed, "I need to talk to you, Monroe."

He paused, glancing back at me. After a moment he nodded, "Can it wait? My son-"

"It's urgent, but…yah, it can wait," I nodded once.

"Okay. Wait in my office. Shay will take you." Shay nodded once in reply. Monroe gave a grim smile and turned on his heel to follow his son to the infirmary.

"Follow me," Shay started after him. "His office is just down a few halls."

My eyes followed Nev's father as he jogged after the gurney. "He seemed very calm."

"He's been here a long time, Mason. Seen a lot of things no one should."

I shrugged and followed. Sometime I would have to learn my way around here—especially if I was going to be staying here. We moved down a few halls and he showed me to Monroe's office.

"You can wait inside if you want," Shay said. "Just don't touch anything; Monroe is a very secluded man and likes his privacy. Otherwise, please, sit."

"Thanks."

He left soon after that and I waited fifteen minutes before giving in and finding my way to the infirmary. On my way, a Searcher—one I didn't know and had never seen—smiled at me. I was caught off guard but managed a smile back. "Umm…Hi. I think…I think I'm lost."

"It's okay, happened to everyone at one point in time. Where're you heading?" he grinned. He seemed friendly enough and I didn't know how to handle it. Every time I saw a Searcher, my first instinct was to snarl or lunge. And I'm sure there first instinct was similar. No matter how long I'm here, it will never seem normal, I guess.

"I'm trying to find the infirmary?" I rubbed the back of my neck as he chuckled to himself at my lack of direction here.

"Easy. Just go down that hall, take a left, then a right after that and you're there. You can't miss it."

I nodded warily, "So a right and…umm…"

"No problem," he grinned. "I heading down there, too, so I can take you."

"Thanks," I muttered. We began walking and he kept looking back at me, checking to make sure I was there. He suddenly shook his head and laughed catching me off guard. I gave him a muddled look.

He just continued to laugh, "You really are a Guardian, huh? You know, I've never seen one up close unless they were trying to rip my face apart, but you…You just don't know how to act around here, around us, do you?"

I looked away from him. "It's different."

"Must be," he nodded with that smirk still on his face. "Your name is Mason, right?" I nodded. "So you're the alpha of the Nightshade pack, right?"

I grimaced, but nodded as the crushing sense of loss hit me yet again. "Yah, that's me."

"So where's your pack?"

I swallowed, hard. I couldn't answer—not just because I didn't know, but because the words I left them were too hard to bear. The Searcher must've seen something on my face because the smile vanished and he fell quiet.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. When we got to the infirmary he left me outside the glass wall looking in. He went inside where a great majority of them all sat around Nev's fragile, pale body awaiting news from the healers. There were white bandages wrapped entirely around his torso and shoulders, one also trailed along his neck. There was a tube down his throat and nose and his hair was plastered with sweat to his forehead. Monroe sat beside him, clutching his hand in his own and touching the cold skin to his lips. Tears were in his eyes, but they never fell. I leaned against the wall, peering through at the Searchers.

There were so many. All of them there for Neville and Monroe.

I simply watched for over an hour, just standing there. Finally, another man came in and everyone stood up. I tried to read his lips but didn't catch much. But judging from the smiles and hugs, Nev was going to be just fine. Monroe caught my eyes and stopped to smile at me.

He came out then and I awaited him with my hands in my pockets trying not to seem so anxious or curious. Both failed the second I asked, "How is he?"

"He's going to be okay. They'll wake him up as early as tomorrow night." He looked in at Nev, "Thank you, again."

"No problem." My eyes went back to Neville and I couldn't peel them away.

He cast me a sideways glance. "Don't worry, Mason. Neville is strong; he's going to be okay."

"I know, I know," I nodded. I'd seen a lot of injuries in my days, but for some reason seeing Nev like this made my heart sink. It was a feeling I didn't experience much.

Monroe took a deep breath. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yah…Yah…Look, my pack is still back there. I don't know where, but I know I can find them and—and they're all I have left." I hated the way my voice was sounding. So much like begging, pleading, lost, and hopeless. "Please. Let me go back and get them. Please."

He seemed very unhappy about this, but he cleared his throat and looked away from me and at his son that lay in the infirmary. "It has been hard enough with one Guardian here, Mason. Taking in an entire pack would be chaos."

"I'm their alpha; they listen to me. Please, they're just like me. Rejected by the Guardians, out on their own—please! I can find them! I can! You just have to let me try!"

"I don't think it is wise to bring an entire pack here," Monroe repeated.

I began to pace again. "You don't understand…"

"I understand perfectly. I will not endanger the lives of everyone here by bringing in a pack of dangerous Guardians. It is idiotic and foolish. The answer is no and you are lucky I am allowing you to stay within Headquarters!"

My voice was softer now as I slid down against the wall, "Please…Please, they're my friends. I—I can't be alone…" I met his gaze through teary eyes hating every second, "They're all I have left. And I need them just as much as they need me. Please. I'm—I'm begging you…"

He turned to look at Neville again and saw that every pair of eyes in the room were watching us—watching me. I knew why: Guardians didn't cry. None of them have ever seen a Guardian cry before. Monroe sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "You're sure you can find them?"

"Yes."

"And you're sure you can control them?" he urged.

"Yes."

Another sigh as he cast a very annoyed glance down at me, "As soon as Neville is awake and stable, you and I will take a small team to retrieve your pack. If they are not found in a timely manner, they will be left behind. I will not lose any men on this mission, is that clear?"

I nodded and jumped to my feet. "Thank you, thank you so much-"

"Do not thank me yet, Guardian. There are many unpleasant things to come and I imagine you and your pack mates are not going to enjoy them."

"I understand," I replied in a calm voice.

He paused, as if thinking about something very important. But he shook his head and turned away to go back into the room, "Report back here at dawn. I'm sure Neville would like you there when he wakes."

I nodded as he moved towards the doorway. I looked in at Nev once again and sighed as my eyes found the small, silver, circular pendant lying on his chest. I decided there on the floor would be where I spent my night and leaned my head against the wall, defeated.

Monroe paused in the doorway with a deep sigh. "Perhaps you would like to come in?"

I looked at him baffled. He held the door open for me to go through.

I did.

Author's Note: Well I hope you guys liked this chapter (I didn't think it went very well ;/ ). I don't really have much else to say this time, so thanks so much for the reviews and for reading! I love to read them and hear your feedback! :) Also, for those of you who PMed me, YAY! Loved our conversations and hope to speak again ;)

Also, my darlings (I've decided that is what I am going to call you all now, btw), MY GODCHILD IS TO BE BORN ON MONDAY NIGHT/TUESDAY MORNING! :D

Just, you know, if you cared/wanted to know…*awkward laugh* Can you tell I'm excited?!

Thanks so much and I love you all!