CHAPTER 10

Aaron stayed conspicuously absent for a longer time than what I had anticipated. It could have unnerved me but I had my mind stubbornly set on mastering any uncomforting feelings and fear for Nite's sake. I took the liberty of choosing the bed that looked like it would sleep two. I hoped that I had chosen right. Already Nite is sleeping peacefully on the bed Aaron had meant for me to sleep on.

I sit beside Nite's unconscious form. My hand is stroking his thick black curls according to habit. I am humming a quiet lullaby to Nite. He fell to sleep a long time ago but I continued the song, because it calms me down too. I could almost curl up next to my baby brother right now and let my head empty of worries. Let my heavy lids close, and go into a 12 hour coma. Nite looks like the boy he should be when he is asleep. His face is calm and his petit mouth is half open. Sometimes his lips even pull up in the corners. At other times though, he has night terrors. Ignite is a common victim of night terrors. It is easy to tell when he is having one though. He thrashes around and his skin gets covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. I always try to shake him awake, but he seems to not even know i am there. When his eyes finally snap open, his mouth follows suit and he releases terrible screams. Usually I can cover his mouth before our presence becomes known, however there are the times when he doesn't even recognise me and Nite fights back. The memories hurt me on a deep level. Screw sisterhood, I am Nite's mother for all reasons all required purposes. I mentally push the bad thoughts from my head and focus on the present.

At the moment Nite is completely relaxed and I should be too. I sit by Nite's side but also on my gaurd. This shack may be more homey than anything I can remember, however, it is unfamiliar and an enemy could be lurking in undiscovered corners at any time.

When I think of enemies, I think of Aaron. He still thoroughly confuses me. He isn't a friend. I don't know him. I can't trust him. But I can't hate him or run away from him. He could be dangerous for both Ignite and I. Yet he practically casts a spell over me. When I see him my stomach churns and shivers run down my spine and arms. The chance that he is on my side is amazing. I want to continue on my journey with him. I think Nite will like him sooner or later. Probably sooner because the thought of me falling in love with a stranger is almost laughable. Completely impossible. At least that is what I want to believe.

The front door squeaks open. I jump up into a protective pose to shield Nite from possible harm. It's Aaron. He sees my protective stance and his eyes widen in shock.

"I thought we went over this Ceeda? I am not going to kill you--- or your....... little brother....." he says.

"Oh." I say so dimly. "Right. Sorry. It's just very... different.. you know? Knowing someone who you can almost trust?" I let out. Aaron is trying to keep his eyes on me as is expected with manners. But his eyes are also flickering to Nite compulsively. I can't read his expression, the curiousity is like a burn. A kind of hurt that is more intense and attention seeking than most other kinds of pain.

"I promise you that, you and your... ah... brother... can trust me. I'll prove it----- here is one of my best knives." He pulls a silver switchblade from his pocket. His arm extends it to me, and I take it with no hesitation. A knife is a valuable weapon. Especially one made for protection and not the hard-to-use steak knives Nite and I already have. Nite. I noticed it in Aarons voice, a hesitation. Curiosity. What is it about Nite that bothers him?

Oh what-ever! I think. Let's just ask him then. And so I do.

"What is it about Nite that bothers you?" I say quietly. My hand, out of habit again, moves to Nites head, and my finger trace the smooth pale skin at his hairline.

"I had a brother about his age."

Had. I think. He had a brother. He is dead, or lost. As if it is my catch phrase the one syllable word leaks from my mouth with just air to support the sound.

"Oh." Aaron smiles. He recognises the overuse of this word in my vocabulary. I feel so bad for my lack of consideration. "I mean, I'm very sorry." The corners of Aarons lips twitch down again, while he says,

"No, it's okay. He died about a year ago. I'm over it. I just saw your little brother sleeping here and he reminded me of Jason."

Hmmm Jason? For the first time I notice that Aaron isn't a very common name either. Not anymore. Meaningless names used to be a popular fad back in the Kanata days, but now most names mean something. Parents name their children after things that provide symbolism or are important to them. My father and mother were very attached to nature when they were young. Hence the names Ceeda, like seed-ah, and Fern, like the plant. Ignite was named after the happiness of a campfire. Names likes, Jessica, Aaron, and Jason, are about as common as a well fed district 13 citizen. Unless they are names after an ancestor or somewhere in their names is a hidden symbol.

I look at Aaron intently. He is gazing at Nite. A look of love and loss is unhidden on his face. It makes me so sad to see that. Loosing Nite would kill me. Almost on literal terms. If Nite dies I would probably seriously consider killing myself. I keep my eyes locked on Aarons face though. He can be trusted. He is kind and loving.

"So," Aaron says in a likable, chatty voice. "What's your story?" With those words and my easy telling of my life story, Aaron and I aren't just friends, but trusted alliences.

I tell him about my entire life. About my childhood, the rebellion in Thirteen, my family, the day Snow stopped Fern from being shot to death and instead hanging a more threatening cloud of death over her over-worked shoulders. I told him about my journey with Nite to this District. About how I want to go to the capitol because I promised Nite and myself that I would do my very best to save Rute and Fern.

When I get to the part of my plan to get to the capitol, Aaron stops me. He interrupts,

"You can't take a little boy to the Capitol. It's too dangerous."

"What do you propose we do with him then?" Aaron gives his answer like it's obvious.

"We can leave them here. With a family I know. I'm sure they would be happy to take him in."

Maybe Mother was right from the very beginning. I can't take Nite into such a risky situation. He might die. And then I would die. And then Aaron wouldn't have anybody to watch his back and he would die. Leaving Nite is the answer, and the most logical thing to do. Can I give him up though? I'm not sure. It is in his best interests

"Okay. Let's let him sleep now. But tomorrow morning we will give him to that family." I tell Aaron "I think I am going to just sleep with Nite now."

Leaving Nite is going to be terrible. Even the idea makes a painful lump rise in my throat. I curl up behind Nite, with my arms wrapped greedily around him, as if showing anybody watching that he is mine. I try to memorize his scent and his childish features. I run my hand through his hair and relearn the coarse feeling of it. Eventually I fall asleep.