A/N: here it finally is! i hope you dont hate me too much for making you wait... school is not fun and i have a term paper to write. ewwww... :)

just one more thing: i really appreciate any advice you guys have to give me. but i wish that if you didnt like something, you would tell me what it was about it you didnt like so that i could fix it and make it better. of course, this doesnt apply to most of you. i love getting your reviews!

but i will keep writing no matter what, so reviews only saying things along the lines of "it sucked" dont help. i'd much rather have reviews that say "it sucked, but you could do this, this, and this to make it better." not that im encouraging people to write that... haha

Chapter 9

Edward's POV

"Edward Cullen, please report to the nurse's office immediately. Again, Edward Cullen to the nurse's office immediately. Thank you."

The moment I heard Ms. Cope's voice come over the intercom, I knew it couldn't be good. A vampire going to the nurse? Definitely bad news.

I was already in a terrible mood. For the second time in two days, I had confronted Bella, and willed myself to tell her what we really were. For the second time in two days, I had been unsuccessful. Nevertheless, I walked unwillingly down the school hallway to meet my fate. I cautiously opened the door to the nurse's office and peeked in. a grandmotherly woman noticed me and a worrisome look entered her eyes.

"You wanted to see me?" I questioned a little more harshly than necessary.

"Oh, thank goodness you're finally here!" the nurse chirped, bustling around her desk and toward me. "You gave us quite a fright, you know. But never fear, never fear; I have everything we need just in case. That's why I'm here, of course…" She trailed off, rummaging through a drawer.

"Um, excuse me," I started, still at a loss for what she was talking about, "but what's the matter?"

She had reemerged from the drawer, and was coming forward with something concealed in her hands. However, instead of an answer, she laughed. "Dear, it's alright! I've done this before, there's no need to worry. I'm going to do the normal procedure, okay? Just tell me when you're ready." She gave me an encouraging smile.

Still not knowing what she meant, I decided that it was high time to check into her mind. It only took a couple of phrases for me to figure it out; my mood worsened with every word I heard.

…poor diabetes patients, they're so young, and always afraid to admit that they forgot. Well, all I need now is to test his blood sugar…

I didn't need to add the needle she had uncovered from her hands to the equation to know that I was in deep trouble. I jumped backwards to delay the blood sugar test, or at least buy myself some more time.

But I couldn't understand it; there must have been some mistake. I wasn't sure where she had heard that I was a diabetic, but I did know that however or whoever had told her was not a friend of mine. My first thought was Mike Newton. Hw seemed like a shifty character, and I knew he wanted Bella badly. But he couldn't have known what a horrible prank he was playing. Would he sink this low just to get back at me for stealing his thunder? After one more little peek into the nurse's thoughts, I knew I was wrong.

…the poor boy! His sister mentioned something about him becoming a bit temperamental when he has low blood sugar… that must be the problem. Such a sweet girl to care about her brother so much…

I gritted my teeth, even more angry than before. I could now see what great lengths Alice would go to, just to make sure that Bella never found out. My temper flared, and at that moment the only thing I wanted to do was prove her wrong. I wanted to show her that Bella was millions more that Alice gave her credit for.

But a more important problem had to be delt with at present, and that was the all-too-kindly nurse clambering closer to me with a hollow needle, expecting to momentarily fill it with my nonexistent blood.

I scooted to my left, sidestepping her in one graceful movement. I then channeled all my anger and frustration into deceiving the nurse and making a speedy getaway.

"I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake," I told the aged woman, laying the charm on thickly. "My father is the only one who is aloud to treat me, as I am a very rare and special case." She gazed at me, and I could tell that she wasn't completely convinced. I would have to rely on some of my brains as well as my gifts to persuade her that I was free to go. Come on Edward, I told myself. Two medical degrees has to count for something!

The nurse staggered on. "But… your sister said…" the poor woman tried desperately to keep up with the conversation, but I gave her another dazzling smile and turned my charm up another notch.

"Ah, but you see, my sister has an especially serious problem as well," I continued, breathing a heavy sigh. "My father had to go into work early this morning, and was gone before any of us woke up. I couldn't calculate my blood sugar because my brothers, sister, and mother were desperately trying to get Alice to take her pills, but my father is the only one who can do that. Unfortunately, if she doesn't take them, she gets a bit…" I searched for the right word, "excessive." I finished, hoping Alice had seen this little flaw in her brilliant plan to distract me. As a final touch, I said, "If you don't mind, I really should go see Carlisle. He knows how to treat me, and I can pick up some of Alice's pills while I'm there. Maybe he can do something to get Alice to take them." I glanced at my watch, and then gave the stunned nurse a worried look. "I just hope I'm not too late, and she's done something drastic." Like told the school nurse I have diabetes… because she knows that would go over so well. I turned around and started out the door. "Thanks for all your help," I said, and closed the door behind me.

As soon as I was out of the room, I sprinted to my Volvo. No one was in the hallway anymore, so I didn't have to be as careful as I would normally be. Once I was safely in my car with the music playing in the background, I settled down and waited for school to let out so I could finally tell Bella our secret.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

As students began to file out, I attuned my senses. After a couple of seconds, I smelled her getting closer. I hopped out of my car so that I could meet Bella on her way out. Unfortunately, when I finally saw her, the smile faded off my face when I noticed was accompanying her: Alice.

As they walked farther down the sidewalk, Alice looked around warily. The phrase 'Good, Edward's not here' ran through her mind as a satisfied smile played across her lips. That smirk made me even surer that she wasn't going to get off that easily.

So I made up my mind to tell Bella anyway, Alice or no Alice. I mean, if I just blurted it out quickly, she would have no way to stop me and I would be home free. Then Alice would have to let me explain things properly to her.

I walked briskly up behind them. Alice was talking about some extravagant shopping trip she was planning for the both of them this upcoming weekend. I noticed that Bella was a little less than thrilled about this new development, but went along with Alice anyway.

Siding into step with the pair, I leaned forward until my neck was almost touching Bella's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "Hello Bella."

Bella's eyes grew wide, realizing who was talking to her. At the same time, her head spun around with such speed that it may have knocked into mine if I did not possess vampire speed. I then heard a chorus of two very different voices exclaim "Edward!"

On one hand there was Alice, her voice surprised while her eyes shot daggers at me all the while. Annoyance and frustration flared behind her complexion, and she fought to keep a composed face while glaring at me. Even so, all my attention was concentrated on the other person who had called my name: Bella.

Although her voice was flustered, her endless chocolate eyes connected immediately with mine. There was a bond between us as we gazed into each other's eyes that made my stomach turn over. She was so innocent and carefree and compassionate… I wasn't worthy of her affection one bit because of what I was, because of what I could do to her. But denying the feelings I had developed for her was like denying myself blood. Of course, I knew I didn't deserve either of them, and it was all thanks to the monster I was. For an instant I thought that Alice was right; how could such a sweet, guiltless being ever understand a horrible creature like me?

But I had to tell her. I trusted her, more than I could ever even begin to justify. If only because of this, she had a right to know the truth.

"What are you doing here Edward?" Alice seethed, unable to keep the contempt out of her voice. It was obvious that my impeccable timing was something she had not counted on. Tempting as the prospect of mocking Alice was, I had a task to carry out. So I ignored her.

Getting right to the point, I said, "Bella, I finally need to—"

"Edward! Bella is busy at the moment!" Alice was extremely determined not to let my win. However, I matched, if not exceeded her determination to beat her at her own game.

"I am?" Bella asked sounding awfully confused. I smirked at Alice.

"Yes, Edward, as a matter of fact, we are going shopping right now," Alice told me, indicating herself and Bella.

"We are?" Bella's confusion seemed to build with every word Alice said. I didn't need to be able to read her thoughts to figure out that Alice was making this extravagant lie up just so that I couldn't tell her. "I thought we were going shopping this weekend?" Bella said.

"Well it's never too early to start," Alice grumbled, pulling her down the sidewalk and away from me. I followed in hot pursuit.

"Well, I'm not going to stop you," I told Alice when I caught up to them. "I just need to tell Bella something before you go." As I said this to Alice, I turned to face Bella. Her brown, welcoming eyes rested on mine the whole time, willing me to trust her. She had no idea that I did trust her; it was myself that I had to keep in check. Her intoxicating scent wafted over me, knocking the air that I was voluntarily breathing out of my body.

Thankfully, I gained enough control to grab Bella's arm before she was yanked away by Alice. My steady grasp held her firmly as I stared deep into her eyes, and said "Bella, we're v—"

"OH MY GOSH! DID YOU SEE THAT BIRD?" Alice screeched. She held her hands an arm's length apart and continued at that glass-shattering volume. "IT WAS LIKE THIS BIG! I SWEAR!" She gave me a smile fit for an angel and shrugged. "Oh well. I guess you missed it." Bella and I let out enormous sighs (hers considerably softer than mine as not to offend Alice), as I reluctantly let go of her arm.

"Thank you Alice. It's too bad that we missed such a wonderful display of the Animal Kingdom," I said, heavy sarcasm distinctly evident in my voice. I turned back to Bella to try one more time. "But more importantly, Bella… there's no good way to say this, but I need you to know that—"

"WAIT! I THINK I SEE IT! BELLA, LET'S LOOK…NOW!" Alice tugged Bella away form me, and threw a cocky look over her shoulder. Though Bella's expression was exasperated and apologetic, Alice carried on as if I wasn't there. "I can't believe you missed it again! I was so sure it was there." There was that innocent smile again.

Obviously there was no bird, and had never been one. It became evident after many attempts on my part that Alice would stop at nothing to make sure Bella never found out about our family's secret.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The front door slammed shut behind me, hinges squeaking from the force of my anger. I started toward the stairs, climbing them in a huff.

"Hey dude! What took you so long?" Emmett called from the kitchen. I glared at him. "Alice," I muttered darkly as I continued climbing. My foot was on the top step when I heard Alice walk through the door; I could almost see the enormous smile taking up her entire face. I rolled my eyes, frowning with even more gusto as I continued up to my room. Maybe I could just relax for a little while and cool down, possibly think of a new approach to tell Bella. But it seemed that Alice had different plans.

She followed me up the stairs, saying, "Oh, come on Edward, what's your problem? Its not like it was my fault or anything…" she trailed off, as I snapped around to face her, chuckling humorlessly.

"It's not your fault… that's a good one." Turning back to my destination. I heard Alice's footsteps follow me.

"Why are you so intent on telling her anyway, Edward? You didn't do anything wrong… you're not the one who should want to tell her. If anything, I should want to tell her, but I don't. So why do you?" she tried to sound annoyed, but the genuine curiosity wasn't entirely masked in her voice. I huffed for a while, avoiding her question. Because the truth was, I didn't have a real reason myself.

Of course, I had the ideas I told myself, including that she must have figured something out, and she had a right to understand. I knew those were perfectly acceptable reasons, but Alice would see through them in an instant; she would see the one thing I had been continuously trying to deny since the first time I had met Bella.

Not content with my silence, Alice pressed on. "Edward, there has to be some reason. You know you can trust me," she said slyly but truthfully.

"That's exactly it though," I countered, getting exasperated. "I can trust Bella. And I do. A lot." I sighed. By this time we were in my room, and I left Alice to look out one of my windows while I talked. Right after I had finished, I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me and I turned just in time to catch a glimpse of a grin on Alice's face before she covered it with a curious expression. I tried to look into her thoughts, but I again found that they were blocked. Perfect.

"Edward," she said carefully, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I replied, hoping that it would be relatively painless, though I knew it probably wouldn't be.

"Okay." She paused, her face screwed up in concentration. "Do you sometimes find it… hard… to talk to Bella?" she inquired, struggling to find the right words.

I answered immediately. "Of course it is! You keep interrupting me every time I try to say something to her! How do you expect—"

"No, no, that's not what I mean," she intermitted. "I mean, when you talk to her without me there. Is it hard to talk to her? To find the right words to say?"

I thought for a minute. Yes, it was hard to talk to her. I could never seen to put what I was thinking into words well enough for her benefit. But how could I tell Alice that?

She continued talking, thinking I still didn't understand her. "Have you ever found yourself… for example… at a loss for what to say?"

I was flabbergasted. She was exactly right. I was so amazed that I immediately blurted out, "Yes, all the time! Nothing ever seems to come out right when I'm around her. I stumble over my words; I have to think about what I'm saying in case I come out with something stupid by mistake. I don't know what it is; she just has this way about her… it makes me nervous and fascinated at the same time. How… how can that be? It this normal? Am I losing my mind?"

Ranting felt good. I had kept all my worries inside for so long. But now that I had told Alice, I felt a little better. I smiled up at her to let her know the extent of her help, only to see her eyes bugged out of her head, and her tiny mouth hanging wide open, the corners of it twitching upwards.

"Edward!" she squealed, bouncing up and down in place. "Edward, I can't believe it! I can't believe I didn't see this coming! That must have been what it was. I kept wondering why and how I was going to stop you, but now I get it! Oh Edward, you have to, you just have to!"

I stared at her in horror. What was she talking about? "Alice, what's the matter? What did I say?"

"Oh, Edward, can't you see?" She finally settled down, but the big grin remained plastered on her face. "You love her," she stated simply, letting it sink in. my immediate reaction took over quickly.

"No I don't. That's absurd. I cant! I'm… a vampire." I said flatly. "It… it could never work." There was still a hint of sadness in my voice that I couldn't entirely banish as I said the words that had been haunting me. "I mean, what if I do something to her Alice?" I said, getting more and more restless. "What if I lose control? I could never let that happen." I sighed and looked at Alice, ready for her to admit defeat. But a smile still resided on her face.

"You know you wouldn't let that happen," she told me confidently. "And these past few days you've been so happy! Well, except for me butting in and not being able to tell her –my bad, by the way—but when you're with her… Edward, if you could only see yourself. And you think about her constantly, don't even try to deny it." Her smile was as comforting as her words, which I knew she truly meant. I wanted so badly to believe her.

"But now she probably thinks I'm an idiot… a big, blabbering idiot. And I have to wait until tomorrow to tell her…" I frowned. But Alice glanced at the clock in my room and quickly grabbed my arm.

"We still have time! I bet she's still outside reading some classical book…she always is…. If we hurry up, you can still catch her!"

She was excited now, and I felt some of that excitement channel off of her and onto me. I grinned like a moron, and said, "Okay."

Right before I left, Alice stopped me and said, "But you have to promise me one thing. You have to tell her how you feel. Deal?"

She looked at me sternly. "Fine," I finally sighed, opening the door. I could get there faster by foot, so that's what I would do. My positive energy flowed freely, and I was finally ready to confront Bella. I couldn't wait.

the confrontation comes next chapter! ooooooo

thanks for reviewing and adding me to your favs or alerts. it makes my day to see wonderful reviews in the middle of computer's class when i'm supposed to be doing work! )

ps: i have a poll on my profile. check it out, and please vote!

Hakuna Matata, -RW