Once again I have no recollection of falling asleep in the little garden. I seriously have to stop this; it could cause serious problems in the arena.

I sit up and glare into the rising sun, trying to get a grip on what happened last night. So I have a new ally. Fabulous. In other news today is launch day, oh how they will be panicking down below when they discover I am missing.

I gather up my unworn sandals and head for the lift, punching in the number 4 a little too aggressively. Inside I am smoldering. So this is it, the day I die. I must admit I expected myself to be more frightened. However, I am no longer myself, so I suppose that should come as no surprise.

When the door opens the corridor is still quiet. I slink back to my room, quiet as death. I check the clock. 3 am? Wow, the sun rises early I the Capitol. I wonder briefly when Dolor will appear to take me away as I lift the bed clothes and crawl underneath. Not long now Kaylar, say your prayers. But I don't, it's no use anyway. There's only one person who can save me now and that's me.

"Kaylar, come on beautiful. Its time."

"Already?" I mumble groggily, glowering at Dolor in the pink glow of the morning light.

"Yes." he chuckles sadly. "I wish it weren't so."

He helps me out of bed and offers a clean pair of burgundy trousers and cream shirt that have been my uniform since my arrival in the Capitol. I change quickly, not even bothering to go into the bathroom. Finally I tie my hair in my ribbon. If I am to die today I will die as me, not as what the Capitol has made me over the last few days.

"Out of all my tributes, you have been my favourite Kaylar." blurts Dolor. "I don't know if it's your age, or that little smile of yours. Anyway just try to come back ok?"

I nod, fighting back tears of gratitude once more. We embrace briefly an even then I think we both know it will be the last time. Then he takes my hand and together we walk to the lift. His smile is sad but genuine. He wishes I didn't have to die but he knows I do, that's one thing we have in common.

The wind is brisk on the roof this morning. I stare across at the little garden where so much changed last night as the hovercraft comes in to land. Dolor and I grasp the ladder that is dropped and are frozen here until the craft has climbed about ten feet, and then we are reeled in. A woman in white stabs me harshly, inserting my tracker and then I am left to my breakfast.

I can't eat a thing, though I know I should. Dolor convinces me to drink large quantities of water as I stare out of the window until it darkens, shutting out the candy shop buildings of the Capitol.

I have no idea how long the journey lasts. Time behaves rather strangely when you are dreading something after all. To me it feels like we are in the hovercraft for 5 seconds. In reality I'll never know, I don't suppose it makes a difference now anyway.

Once we land, Dolor and I are led to the catacombs directly under the arena. I take a quick shower and dolor puts my hair in a high pony, tying a fresh green ribbon around it. He then falls in to his usual trance as he applies my makeup.

I'm surprised when he pulls back after just a few minutes. He holds up a little mirror for me and I recoil slightly, unable to recognize myself. Because that is what he's made me, myself again. A little terrified 12 year old girl.

Then we just sit in silence, Dolor playing with my hair and me just staring at the ground. I think of my father, clocking off at the docks to come home and watch the live feed of the launch. For his sake I hope I don't get caught in the bloodbath today.

"I swear I didn't know Kay." says Dolor, finally breaking the silence. "He didn't tell me. The costume was all my idea, I was trying to play up your rebellious streak, give the Capitol a fright."

I realise with a shock that an amazing grown man like Dolor is seeking confirmation from me. I just nod. I believe him. If dolor had known he would have tried to talk Kesella out of it anyway.

"Kaylar Abyss. Launching in 5 minutes. Kaylar Abyss."

Dolor gives my hand tight squeeze as he leads me to the metal plate by the door. He kisses my forehead gently and smiles sadly at ne.

"I made you yourself again today." he whispers. "I wanted them to accept it just once, what they are doing to such a little girl."

I nod and he holds me close beneath the folds of his beautiful blue cloak until we are separated by a glass tube that begins it's descent around me.

"Goodbye Kaylar. Give them hell in there, for me."

And I know he isn't talking about the tributes.