Hey guys,
I think it's about time that I tell you what has been going on, it was never my intention to abandon this story and it still isn't although I know it must seem that way with the fact that I haven't updated this story in forever. But I think you all deserve to know why this hasn't been updated, maybe I feel a little obligated. I know a lot of you guys will see that this is an Author's note and probably won't even care to read this. I know many of you who read this story really don't care what goes on with me, because only a few of you reached out to me while I was posting even though all the previous authors notes before the story generally have me trying to reach out to my readers.
From what I remember I was seventeen when I started this story and I am now nineteen. When I was seventeen things were difficult but it seemed as though life was going to get better. I am getting ahead of myself. Let's start from the very, very begging. I didn't have an easy childhood, My mother was a drug addict from before I was born I'd say when from the time my older sister was two to the time I was fourteen. I am technically a crack baby. My sister is five years older than me and her bi-polar disorder was triggered from a lot of the messed up things we saw as little kids. I didn't know my biological father and I even had seizures when I was two because my mother's habits. When I was fourteen my sister and I were living with my mother while her dad was working in another state that year. That spring break my mother was arrested for drug possession and she was out of jail within the week. My sister's step dad caught a plane to get us and my mother realized she was losing us. He left with me and my sister and we started out in a new place. Within two months my mother was back with us and she was trying her hardest to become a better mother, I was very proud of her, she really did incredibly well. When I was sixteen my biological father got in contact with me and that was straining my relationships with my mother and step father.
When that summer rolled around…. My mother was diagnosed with cancer and she was stage 3b, and if you don't know what that means, it means that she was very close to being terminally ill, we had very little time to react to the news before she had a major surgery that we knew she could die in. Thankfully she survived, but throughout these few years my sister had begun to have suicide attempts. When my mom was able to come back home we were overjoyed we knew it would still be a rough road ahead but we were confident about it. A few weeks after she got home my only grandparent and my mom's only parent passed away. We were devastated. But as I said when I turned seventeen I thought things were looking up. That entire year we had all been taking care of my mom as a family and we seemed to grow closer because of it. But things happen there had been scared that year too, some drunk man followed me home while my parents were gone and my sister had two suicide attempts. After summer ended my step dad got a job offer in another state and he took it. My mom seemed to be doing much better so it made sense. It was to the point that we were told my mother was in remission and we were all so happy and glad, I remember going out with my mom and sister and celebrating. It seems like just yesterday.
My junior year of school was hell, I was taking care of both my mother and sister, and constantly wondering which one I was going to lose first. I know you are wondering what I mean. But after that happened with remission my mom started acting funny, she started losing a drastic amount of weight and she acted manic and was drinking and obscene amount of alcohol and she was even smoking weed. I didn't understand what was going on. My sister couldn't handle having my mother relapse back into her addictive ways. I mean I would literally pick her up off the floor and have to put her to bed and make sure she didn't herself. My mom was just in a horrible place she was gone to us. She would bring us out into the living room and tell us she was dying and we tried talking to the doctors they all said she was fine that nothing was wrong. One night something my sister said made my mother snap and she went nuts she was very close to hitting us and she was breaking things, my sister and I barricaded ourselves into ours rooms. We knew something was wrong. One night my sister was rushed to the hospital and she had to stay in the pysch ward because of a suicide attempt. My sister left before the summer came and I was left to take care of my mother by myself and pack up the house because my mom said she wanted to be with my dad. I was supposed to come back and live with my sister after the summer ended and finish my senior year with my friends. That didn't end up happening. That summer we moved in with my aunt and my mother didn't last three days before my aunts put her into a rehab center. Things were horrible and I swore my life was just getting worse. Then in august before school started we moved to another state with my step dad. So I started a new school my senior year and my mom was progressively getting worse.
A week after school started and I will admit I was a very bitter person towards my parents, my mother was rushed to the hospital she had over dosed on her sleeping pills. She had been in a lot of pain she was having trouble walking and things were just horrible. A few weeks after that we found out the cancer was back and that she was terminal. My senior year so far has been me taking care of my mother from dawn until dusk and I have no regrets. She passed away four months ago and I am close to graduating. But these past few years have been the hardest for me. I am still trying to deal with her death. It all seemed to happen so quickly.
I know many of you don't care but I thought that you might want to know why this story hasn't been updated. It is not that I haven't felt guilty for those of you that actually really enjoyed this story but I felt that many of you didn't because I really didn't get that many reviews for it and it seemed like very little of your cared. Still I believe you deserve to know what has actually been happening.