Drinks sixth glass of freshly squeezed orange juice YAY totally random introduction, no, NO, BAD disclaimer, go away…oohh a bruise, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…hmm hurts to poke it. Hehehehehe Thankyou many reviewers, thankyou no response for you! Starts to talk like Keira Knightly Oh you bad pirate, I think a spanking is in order… Reads reviews and cackles insanely Hehehehehe I like skipping ropes Jack sneaks up behind her and hits her with a bat

"We are sorry as we are experiencing technical difficulties, it would seem our Authoress has lost her mind. Please do not adjust you computer, normal reading will follow shortly." BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP

Disclaimer – (Walks out in army attire including medals and riding crop) Alright troops. We don't own anything, UNDERSTOOD! (Elves also in army outfits)
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
You will not take any and I mean ANY credit for the making of the film, do I make myself clear!
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
And we did NOT write the book! A great man named Tolkien did, and we give total credit to him and only him (and possibly Peter Jackson for the movie) UNDERSTOOD.
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
We DO own Trinity and Jasmine
YES DRILL SERGENT!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
YES DRILL SERGEANT!
At Ease!

GUESS WHAT!

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?

Real Identity issues

"I'm just naturally crazy and prone to saying crap" She said.

"You never uttered a truer sentence" Elladan muttered.

"Popcorn, popcorn, I want some popcorn" Jasmine sung as she skipped down the hallway. She was hiding from Trinity because she had just stolen and eaten the last of Trinity's Caramel Popcorn and she still wanted more. Thankfully, while Trinity was recovering, Jasmine had nothing better to do than explore the grounds and she got quite good a knowing where most things were. At the moment she was heading towards the kitchens, hoping that Celboril had forgotten this mornings little incident. Upon entering the kitchen she was met with a barrage of wondrous smells. Stews, soups, sauces, meat, bread and sweets were all cooking atop a giant stove.

"Yanamana" Jasmine said in awe as she watched the kitchen staff worked. After a few moments she snapped out of her daze and tapped Celboril on his shoulder. "Jenga Mr Elf"

"Err Hello, why are you in my kitchen?" Celboril asked raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"Weeeellllll, I was wondering if I could teach you something slash make something!" Jasmine said as she bounced up and down excitedly.

"And what may that be?" He asked again regarding her with a soft yet stern glare that only he was capable of.

"POPCORN!" Jasmine cheered excitedly causing Celboril to take a step back.

"Popcorn?" He asked worriedly knowing full well that his kitchen may never be the same if she was allowed access.

"Yeah! It's really yummy" Jasmine said patting his shoulder as she passed by and walked over to the pantry.

"What does it consist of?" he asked following curiously as she reappeared with some dried corn curdles. "Surely not those, they are dry and tasteless. We give them to the animals"

"Have you ever thought of cooking them, smartypants?" Jasmine said as you poured a small amount of oil into a pan and putting atop the roaring stove. "Now, what you do…" Jas looked at Celboril who was still standing in the doorway "…come here! Now, you pour as much of these into the pan, cover with lid and wait" She smiled at the intrigued elf "See easy!"

"Hmm so now what happens?" he asked jumping as loud popping noises erupted from the pot.

"Now, the corny-things are popping open. When the popping is complete, you open the lid and Wa-La" Jasmine said as she lifted the lid of the pot revealing a full pot of fluffy white pieces. "See Yummy" she said popping a piece in her mouth after pouring the popcorn into a nearby bowl. "Needs salt…and butter…no, no…OOOHHHH CARAMEL!"

Celboril looked at the strange substance curiously as Jasmine poured salt and melted butter all over it, mixing as she did so. It does smell good he thought as he took a piece and ate it slowly. He smiled as the creamy yet tangy taste hit his senses.

"Yeah, that's right. It's good shi…stuff. Now I'll show you how to make different kinds" Jasmine said as she started to teach him how to make butterscotch, caramel, chocolate, cheese, salt and vinegar popcorn. Soon the kitchen was brimming with bowls of popcorn and everyone present was enjoying the sweetness of the newly found treat. "You can eat this anytime, just not all the time, sometimes you get sick…sometimes" Jasmine warned as she, and the rest of the kitchen staff, stuffed their mouths full of popcorn.

"Thankyou, Thankyou for teaching me how to make this wonderful sweet" Celboril said, though it was muffled by the popcorn.

"No worries, now just remember, when you pack food for us on our trip, put heaps of packets of these in our packs. Please and thankyou!" Jasmine laughed as they continued their little secret feast.

"If I knew who it was, that person would be in a momentous amount of pain!" Trinity huffed as she stormed down the hallway away from the bemused hobbits. It had been like this for the last ten minutes, even since Trinity had found an empty popcorn bag on her floor.

"Well it wasn't us" Pippin yelled as Trinity walked away.

"You shouldn't have said that" Frodo sighed as he watched Trinity stop and turn on her heel, heading back to the group.

"How do I know that?" Trinity asked squinting down at the small hobbits. "How do I know you didn't sneak in my room while I was asleep and eat all my popcorn?"

"Popcorn?" Pippin asked with a genuine confused expression.

"Hmm, so you don't know what popcorn is ey? Well, if you don't know what it is, would the rest of middle earth know?" Trinity mumbled as she walked away from the hobbits. "You Hobnobbits are lucky, next time, body pieces will roll!" she yelled as she disappeared around the corner.

"Body pieces?" Frodo asked with a worrying look upon his face as Pippin smiled happily back at him.

"I thought it was meant to be heads…Oh" Pippin's smile faded and he looked worryingly down the hallway. "Maybe we should keep out of her way"

"I think so" Frodo replied as they turned and quietly made their way to their rooms, avoiding the peculiar and frightening human.

Jasmine smiled to her self as she made her way into the courtyard and walked over to the fountain and sat on the edge. She munched happily away on her small bowel of popcorn as she watched the elves go by doing their usual things. She was playing a game where she would make eye contact with someone and then smile at them, if they smiled back she got five points and she got ten if they said "hello" or "good day". So far she was on twenty points. She finished her bowl of popcorn and placed it beside her, looking up in time to see Trinity standing across the courtyard glaring at her. Jasmine stopped moving as she made eye contact with the furious human, the tension in the yard built up so much that no one walked in front of them but stood aside, watching the mental warfare play out in front of them. Five minutes passed and they hadn't moved Jasmine was getting very tense as she knew the reason behind this; Trinity wasn't a very nice person when her things were taken. Sweat started to glisten on her brow as Trinity slowly stepped towards her, never breaking eye contact; she stood slowly and took her own tentative steps towards her best friend. A small group of elves and humans watched the confrontation with interest, not much was known about these two girls and anything to do with them was very interesting in the eyes of the Middle Earthlings. The girls were now within inches of one another, Trinity looked at Jasmine with her head cocked to the left and Jasmine wore a worried dumb grin.

"I come in peace" Jasmine said nervously searching her best friend's eyes for any emotion but Trinity showed none.

"Would you like to go in pieces?" Trinity asked looking into Jasmine's eyes. She was secretly shocked at what she saw; Jasmine had never been good at hiding her emotions so Trinity could always see what she was feeling, but now something was different. Even though Jasmine's body language was obvious, behind her eyes there was a wall that was hiding her emotions, something was very different.

"Err no" Jasmine said as Trinity gaze hardened.

"Did you eat my popcorn?" She asked as Jasmine shifted nervously but still holding eye contact.

"Yes" Jasmine said nervously "But I made more, all kinds and I taught Coodlebreaches how to make it too so now there will be heaps so you don't need to worry about that small amount that you kept hidden in you sock draw in that small hidden compartment" She said quickly with a genuine smile.

"Really?" Trinity said looking at her best friend as her mouth twitched. The elves nearby watched in anticipation. Trinity raised her arm and the elves held their breath, waiting for her to strike but were sadly disappointed when she grabbed her friends shoulder. "OK, as long as theirs more I'll let it slip, just remember, I can kick ya arse and I will if you pull a stunt like that again" she laughed still holding the eye contact. They continued to laugh but soon it dwindled out and they just stood there smiling.

"I'm not breaking" Trinity said with an evil smirk.

"Neither am I" Jasmine said mirroring her smirk. About ten minutes later Jasmine's right eye started to twitch. "Oh no" She said as her face started to screw up causing Trinity to start laughing, and finally Jasmine blinked causing Trinity to scream in joy and jump up and down doing her happy dance. (This consists of three pelvic thrusts and the throwing her hands in the air while twirling around)

"No fair! My face caved in! I want a rematch!" Jasmine yelled as she watched her friend go all crazy.

"Nuh-uh I won, fair and square! Now if you don't mind I must finish my happy dance… coughs Ahem… If there's a jellyfish on your head, stamp your feet, if there's a jellyfish on your head stamp your feet, if there's a jellyfish on your head, and you really want it dead, if there's a jellyfish on your head stamp your feet. Thankyou, thankyou! Ahh I feel better" Trinity laughed as she jumped up on the fountain and twirled around.

Jasmine seeing the perfect opportunity lunged and caught Trinity around the feet. The one thing about Jasmine is that she usually doesn't think ahead, and this is a wonderful example, as she too went flying into the fountain. After the initial shock of being thrown into the fountain, Trinity started to dunk Jasmine under the water, this continued until a shadow fell across them.

"What are you doing?" Filda sneered. She was dressed for archery (Blue tunic and quiver) and was surrounded by her ever present posse of elf maidens.

"We are having a bath, Brune Hilda, you should try it some time" Jasmine said flicking water in their direction, unfortunately she jumped nimbly out of the way and glared at a smiling Jasmine who was trying vainly to backstroke across the fountain.

"You look unhappy. I like that." Trinity laughed as Filda huffed.

"I suppose you are recovered then?" Filda asked as Trinity nodded "Good, then we can finally settle this, Tomorrow morning, no excuses"

"Fine, your place or mine?" Trinity laughed as Filda glared at her.

"Hey, do you suppose the wind changed when you were born?" Jasmine asked innocently as Trinity turned to her.

"Why, what ever do you mean?" Trinity said in a fake voice.

"Well, I only ever see that face when there is a screaming red-faced, snotty nosed baby around" Jasmine said also in the forced voice.

"By Gads your right, I knew I'd seen that face before!" Trinity exclaimed slapping the water in teasing way.

"What are you talking about you strange beings?" Filda said irritated by the conversation.

"Nuthin, baby butt, you better just bring it" Trinity said as Filda's expression turned to confusion.

"Bring what?" She asked

"Why IT of course!" Trinity said.

"What is IT?" Filda asked again looking between the two smiling girls.

"My gobbleness, she does not know what IT is!" Trinity said over acting her shocked expression.

"So that means she will not be bringing IT" Jasmine said as she covered her mouth to hide her laughter but also to look shocked.

"Oh No, it's already been brought-en." Filda said turning around and stalking off, proud of her little come back.

"NICE ONE PRICILLA" Trinity and Jasmine hollered after her before collapsing in the fountain. After a small water fight the girls noticed Merry and Sam walking through the courtyard. Jasmine pulled Trinity down so that they could be barely seen.

"What are we doing?" Trinity asked though it sounded more like "Wub arge weep doobing?" due to the water going in her mouth each time she opened it. Jasmine explained quickly causing Trinity to squeal quietly. They prepared themselves as Sam and Merry walked past the fountain. Suddenly, without warning, Jasmine and Trinity erupted from the fountain and grabbed the two screaming hobbits and dragged them into the fountain. The girls fell back laughing so hard they almost chocked on the water, the hobbits on the other hand were sitting with shocked expressions, their usually curly hair, now plastered to their heads which were just above the water.

"Why did you do that?" Sam asked with a hurt/angered/shocked expression etched onto his chubby features.

"Dunno, yous were there and we were here and I dunno, just couldn't control ourselves. Now will you join our underwater army?" Jasmine said leaning towards the two hobbits.

"We are trying to defeat the radioactive sheep" Trinity said looking around as though she was looking out for anyone who would be listening.

"Um…err…we would love too but, you see, we…us…umm" Merry said avoiding looking at Jasmine as Sam finished his sentence.

"Lunch is ready" he said causing the girls heads to snap up.

"Food?" Trinity asked.

"Lunch?" Jasmine asked.

"Yes, we were on our way there when you…err surprised us" Merry said standing up and wading his way over to the side of the fountain.

"Oh, why didn't you say so" Jasmine said standing up and picking Merry up and putting him on the ground.

"We did" Sam said as Trinity picked him up and helped him out of the fountain.

"So you did" Trinity said as they made their way across the courtyard to the palace. "Hey Jasmeena, your shirt has gone see through!"

"So it has, would you look at that" Jasmine said as they entered the large doors only to bump into Celboril.

"DO NOT come in here like that. Stay here I will get you some towels" He said disappearing into a side room and then reappearing with four towels. "Dare I ask?" he said watching as they dried their clothes enough so they could enter.

"Best if you don't" Trinity said as she finished drying. A few seconds later the rest finished drying and they all hurried to their rooms to change.

Half an hour later Trinity banged on Jasmine's door "DUDE ARE YOU READY YET?" she hollered as a muffled "Yes hang on" sounded from the other side. Finally after what seemed like forever Jasmine emerged wearing a light blue off the shoulder dress that flared out at the bottom wildly. Trinity was wearing a sleeveless dark green dress that had a high collar (like an Asian top thingy) and two long slits up the sides.

"Ooohhhh Chinese, very nice" Jasmine said as they headed towards the dining room. Upon entering they noted that they were actually the last to arrive, even Aragorn had made an appearance.

"Oh, wow, are we that late that Argonaut has even beaten us here" Jasmine said as Aragorn rolled his eyes at his new nickname.

"We haven't missed the food have we?" Trinity asked looking around worriedly as Elrohir laughed.

"No, we were already here and the food hasn't been served yet. Apparently Celboril has something new to share with us" Elrohir said as the girls sat down, Jasmine next to Legolas and Trelan and Trinity next to Aragorn and Elladan.

"Daniel" Trinity said nodding at Elladan "Argonaut" she said nodding to Aragorn as she sat down.

"Truffle" Aragorn said as Trinity laughed.

"Ahh Touché" Trinity said "I will make you fun yet"

"Oh you think I am not fun" Aragorn said in mock disbelief.

"Oh yes, I feel so sorry for you Newra" Trinity said leaning forward and looking at Arwen who just smiled.

"Don't be, I have come to realise that he is no fun, I have adapted to it" She said with a sly smile as Trinity howled with laughter.

"I'm devastated" Aragorn said clutching his heart in a mock attempt at heartbreak. After a few more taunts and jokes the food was brought out, plates of fruit and bread were served and bowels of popcorn placed in the middle of the table.

"This is a new substance called 'Popcorn', young Miss Jasmine taught me how to make it. It is quite a spectacular taste I assure you, there are four flavours here Caramel, Salt, butterscotch and chocolate but I am well on the way to making more. Please enjoy" Celboril said as he made his way back into the kitchen, no doubt to eat his own batch of popcorn.

"POPCORN!" Trinity squealed as she lunged at the caramel popcorn that had been placed nearby. In a matter of second her plate was covered in all four types of popcorn and she was soon scoffing them down while the others, except for Jasmine who was doing the exact same thing, tasted it slowly before realising that it was indeed wonderful.

"This is wonderful" Arwen exclaimed as she finished some chocolate popcorn. "This is a delicacy in your world?"

"Well you could say that. It's commonly referred to as junk food most of the time though" Jasmine said as she munched on some butterscotch.

"So…when are we moving out troops?" Trinity asked looking around at the occupants who were enthusiastically eating the popcorn.

"We leave in three days" Aragorn said as Trinity made an excited squealing sound.

"Elladan and I will be accompanying you up until the Misty Mountains from there we are to meet up with some rangers" Elrohir said as Elladan nodded in agreement.

"We were to travel with them now, but father wanted us here to attend the council" Elladan said.

"Coolies, more hobgoblins for me" Jasmine blurted causing all to stare at her "What?"

"Hobgoblins?" Trinity asked "Hmm random outbursts, the true sign of a young person losing their mind…neerf…BANANA HAMMOCK!" Now it was Trinity's turn to be giving strange looks.

"What can't a person relieve built up pressure?" Trinity asked innocently.

"As long as it's coming out of your mouth" said Jasmine sending the two girls into a frenzy of laughter.

Dun-e-doo…hey did you know that Dunedoo is an actual place! It's in the NSW Australian outback…I drive through there on the way to my holiday house, I own an opal mine!

"No you don't" Elladan said, sitting on a cushion around the small coffee table where he, Legolas, Elrohir and Jack were playing poker.

"How would you know, if you haven't noticed there's a lot about me that you don't know!"

"She's got ye there" Jack said as he laid down his winning hand.

"You cheated" Legolas said as Jack beamed a sly smile.

"Pirate!" With that Legolas lunges over the table, knocking it over in the process, and tries to strangle Jack.

"HEY, HEY, HEY Stop it!" They don't stop "Right, that's it I was going to give you guys something good to drink but now…well it looks like only Elladan and Elrohir are going to get it" The fighting stops instantly and Legolas and Jack sit there smiling innocently with their arms across each others shoulders.

"Ok, good" Disappears to find wine bottles "I know I'm gonna regret this, but they were more interesting drunk!"

Deposits the wine among them

"Ye don't happen to have a…" Hands him a rum bottle "Aw ye too good for us"

"I know" walks off "this should get interesting"