I hope you like it, Merry Christmas, I wish you pass this christmas with the people you love, because in my opinion is the meaning of Christmas.!

Finn had not left his room since the kidnap, had only spent a day and for him felt like ten years, he felt weak, small, and he had a broken heart,

every time he closed his eyes, he saw Rachel pleading for her life, suffering, weeping, and there was nothing he could do. he could not sleep without hearing her screams.

he had the same dream he had dreamed the day before they taken to the girl he this time it was no longer an invisible force who dragged Rachel away from him, this time the force had a face, with blue eyes and black hair, with that smile of pure evil.

-please no, ..Finn ...-Rachel yelled

-Rachel .. - he yelled

suddenly Finn awoke , his heart was beating very fast and the cold sweat come out of his body, he had tears dried on his face, he had been crying all night and not even realized.

He kept staring at the ceiling while a tear rolled down his cheek,

-Finn- a voice called from outside his room.

Finn did not move not even bother to turn to see who was calling him.

-Finn, I brought you something to eat your mom told me you have not eaten since yesterday- Kurt said as he put the dish on the table next to the bed of Finn.

Finn continued to stare at the ceiling.

Kurt sat on the bed, he observed the boy at his side, his eyes were red and swollen, disheveled brown hair, and a sad look in his eyes.

Kurt felt very bad, he was not used to seeing Finn in this way.

-Finn, I know how you feel, I do not sleep well, I have nightmares, yesterday I went to the church with Mercedes, was weird, but in a strange way I felt better,you know, like I was doing something to help her, it's weird, but Mercedes also felt good, so I was thinking maybe you'd like to go with us today, everyone in GLEE also come, maybe you feel better.-

-I suck, -Finn said, looking at the ceiling

-what?- Kurt said arching her eyebrow

-I suck, I did nothing and that kills me, you.. you had the courage to defend Mercedes, I was a coward, I should have done something, anything, but I stayed there, sitting., just watching,

-Finn, they had weapons, were many, they would have killed you, nothing that happened was your fault, stop feeling like you're responsible for this, besides, you tried to stop them .

-I know, I know that was not my fault, but I love her so much, God! Why I never told her before? now I have fear that maybe I never be able to tell her, she never know how much I love her, I wanted so much to find her, hold her, kiss her, tell her how much I love her, promise to her that I never let anyone hurt her again, and I never get away from her , why her?, god, she never hurt anyone, I know she doesn't have the best personality, but she doesn't deserved it,and I still have these stupid dreams, I feel like I could do something,I just listen her cries plead for help everytime I close my eyes, I don't know if they are not hurting her or if she is alive, god she must be so scared, -Finn had not realized he was screaming.

-Finn calm down, breathe, I also love Rachel perhaps not in the romantic way that you do, but she is also my family, all in the glee club love her and we all want her back with us, but blame us for what happened is not going to bring her back,-

-I'm sorry Kurt, it's just ...I...don't know what to do, I feel so bad, I'm so scared,-he began to mourn

-I don't know what to say to you, because I feel the same way-

Kurt put his arms around the body of Finn, hugging him until both stopped mourn.

-Are you okay?-Kurt asks, breaking the silence

-I think so. talk to you made me feel a little better, thanks-

-I think you needed to get out what you felt.-

Finn gave him a small smile.

-now you eat, you must keep your strength so you can hug Rachel when you see her- .

Finn just nodded his head,he ate everything that was on the dish, when I finish, Kurt took the dish,

-Kurt wait,-Finn said standing - I can go with you to church-

-course, see you down in twenty minute-

-cool-, "the boy said with a smile

- and Finn,-

-uhhh?-

-take a shower first.-

Finn and Kurt met with the other guys in glee,

-Where is Mr. Schuester? -Kurt asks

-He doesn't answer his phone, -Tina answered

They all looked pale and tired, apparently none of them had slept well.

-we should go, the ceremony is about to begin, -said Mercedes,

all gradually came into the church,

before entering, Finn bowed awkwardly ,

-just go in there, frankenteen, -Santana said as he pushed inside.

-I had never been anywhere like this before-, Finn said as he seeing around him

-I told you it was weird-, Kurt said as he sat

all the boys sat together,

Mercedes approached the center of the church, taking a microphone.

-Hi Church, yesterday my friend and I came here to pray for our friend Rachel Barbra Berry, she was kidnapped, today we come with other friends of ours, to pray for her again and ask you for your prayers, all in the Glee Club are different ,We are of different colors, different sizes and different religions, but if there is anything that unites us is our dreams and our love for each one of us, and our wish that Rachel return safe to home with us, we want her back .we want hear her laugh and her voice again,- a tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke,- we just want to see her again, we want our friend back. -when Mercedes finished speaking everyone in the club GLEE were crying. the church choir began to sing, the voices of all became one, all with the same prayer, that the little girl back to home, was a moment of faith and love, Kurt was right for a magical and bright moment Finn was feeling better, he felt as his love for Rachel can reached her wherever she was.

when the ceremony finished they left the church, all the people inside gave them a smile and words of encouragement,

Finn approached to Puck while the GLEE club were discussing what they would do

-Puck can I talk to you just a moment?-

-What you want, Finn?-

-apologize. I should not have said all those things and attack you I did not know why Rachel did what she did, I guess I was mad at myself for didn't do anything and wanted to blame someone else to feel good about myself-

-it's okay, I understand I am angry with me too,-

Finn sat next to Puck in banking,

-I wanted to ask you something ,how is it that you knew that was a racial hygiene? I mean you never walk into history class, -Finn asked curiously.

-I do not need to enter to history class to know that, when you're Jewish, your parents want make sure that you know everything about your people and what they had to pass for you were here, well at least my mom,-

-oh..., talking about your mom ,why did you told your mom that you had not been able to keep your promise?-

-I don't think it's any of your business-

-I know, but I just wanted to help seemed to me that you looked very distressed by that , and helps talk about it with someone . makes you feel better.-

He rolled his eyes , and then let out a sigh

-when Rachel and I were kids, we went to the synagogue together every day after school, my sister was not born yet, so for me Rachel was like my sister ,-

Finn looked at him very surprised with the raised eyebrow

-were other times, she was not as annoying as now, well she was, but she was smaller and easier to scare

-what? .wait ... but you date her, was not like dating your sister?

-Oh hell no! Gross! as I said those were other times and she had no boobs at that time. .-

-but...-

-Whatever. her father's and my mother always told me I had to take care of her for be smaller, hold her hand to cross the sidewalk, and all those stuff , -

-flashback-

one day I was waiting to her outside the girls bathroom because she had an "emergency".

.-Rachel are you finished?, it's late.- I was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and a blue sweatshirt with blue jeans, was my favorite outfit

-one minute-. a small voice said from the bathroom

-if you don't come out soon, I will come in there and I will get you out of there and I'm not kidding-.

I heard the sound of the toilet, there was silence for a moment.

-Noah ..-

-that?-

-can you please please come?.-

-no way, is the girls' bathroom, and who knows what horrible things are inside,-

-please .I need your help.-

The boy rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom

-that?-

Rachel was wearing a short sleeved shirt and yellow shorts, white socks with yellow tennis. had long wavy hair with a headband with a small star in it

she was looked down and she was bit her lip

-what,- I said desperate

-I don't reach the sink.-

-that's it all , I thought you were hurt or that you fallen into the toilet.-I said laughing

-that would not have been funny, and this is important my daddy said that hygiene is very important and ...-

-yeah, yeah whatever.-

I put my hands on her small hips and gently lift her up.

-you are very heavy.-

Rachel opened the faucet to wash her hands -you are very weak-

-No, I'm very strong, you're fat-

-that's not true, -Rachel said indignantly

my arms began to tremble

-Rachel ,don't you think one day make you higher?,you are very small, you could fit in my pocket-

-you're not high neither- . she said angrily

-I'm taller than you, besides that you take too long and why you had to go to the bathroom,why you can not hold on or peeing in the park, .,-

-First, the hygiene is important, secondly, I can not hold on all the way, third, do it in a public place is disgusting.-

-I do all the time,- I said, was no big deal I still do it.

Rachel closed the faucet -You're disgusting.-

-no ,You're disgusting-,I said

-no you are.-

-no you.-

-no you.-

-you,-

-you-

-you..-

-no you ,-she said, sticking her tongue out.

I took her tongue

-Noah!,-

-your dad told you ,do not take out your tongue.-

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and curled her lip

-stop doing that because it's late and we must leave-

-wait-

-that?.-

-my jacket.-

-oh god!-

-you should not say God's name in vain-

-you should hurry,-

she went to the bathroom and came out a few seconds after, putting on her pink jacket,

I helps her to wear the backpack pink ,(some things never change)

-we had to go.-I said

I took her by the hand and both took to the street

we were a little late so I did not realize that a boy named Adamm followed us when we leave the school. we were talking and she was singing to me a song, As we passed through the park

-Noah, why roses are red?-

-I don't know, maybe the elves who paint the flowers, likes red-

-Are the elves paint the flowers?- she asked in surprise with her eyes wide open

-yes. you didn't know, the whole world knows.-

-oh ...- Rachel opened her mouth forming a small o.

-Noah, cat food tastes like mouse?-

-how am I supposed to know that, I have never eaten cat food-

-Oh ..-

-Do you want me to sing you a song?- Rachel asked with a smile on her lips from ear to ear.

-if it will make you stop asking questions, yes. sing me a song.-

she opened her mouth to sing when something caught her attention

-Look, how beautiful flower,you think elves also painted this flower-

-of course, Rachel, can you hurry?, it's late.-

she stopped to pick it up, and the boy came from behind and pushed her. She was angry and she was going to say something when he started to called her names and tell her that she was ugly and stupid,

-Leave her alone, what is your problem?-

he was a little taller than me and stronger.

-you two disgust me.-

-what are you talking about?,-

- we have not done anything to you, -Rachel told him, hiding behind me.

-my mom said that you are bad, and people like you do not deserves to live,-

-Noah, what is he talking about?- Rachel asked me with fear,

at that time I honestly don't know what the hell he was talking about,

-and also tell me that your parents are freaks, just like you, with that big nose of yours,-

-that's not true-, Rachel said she was crying, I felt like everything happened in slow motion.

-they are fags, your parents are fags,-

-don't call them like that , -she yelled,

-you two are bastards, fucking Jews-

-alright that's it,- I was really angry and I jumped over him and I started hitting him in the face then he got up and he started beating me, was the first fight I had

-Noah!, - she started trying to stop the fight but Rachel was very small and was not very strong, so she jumped on him I fell to the ground,

-Get out of my you fool!-

I watched how he throw Rachel .

she hit her forehead with the sidewalk,did you remember that little scar that Rachel has on the head?, well, that was what Adamm let us to remember that day.

-Rachel!,- I saw her face down on the sidewalk and I just got angry - I hate you! stay away from her-, I yell as I pushed him away,

he just ran,

-Rach .. are you okay?- I kneel beside her to try to help her.

-Noah. . it hurts ... .- She turned slowly to me, -Noah what is this red thing?-

she was bleeding from the face, I was really scared, but I did not want to say anything,because even as a child she was a drama queen.

-don't move, wait,- I take her backpack to pull out a handkerchief to clean the blood.

-Noah Does this is that elves use for paint the flowers?

- no, this is blood,-

-blood? .. mmm ... "I'm .. broken?- she asked me, touching her forehead.

no, you're not broken, but stop touching yourself -, I take the handkerchief and I put it on the wound,

-it hurts, I want my daddy, -She sniffles Sadly

-quiet, I will take you to your daddy-

-Noah why he did that?-

- I don't know maybe he was mad-

-thanks for defending me.-the tears were still coming out of her eyes -what he said about ...-

-Rachel forget it, no matter what he said, do not listen to him, ok?- I told Rachel who was kind of hyperventilating

-Rachel Relax, we'll tell our parents they will know what to do,-

I taked the pink backpack of Rachel and I put it on my shoulder

-Rach take your flower, you can give it to your dad when we see him.-I told her before picking her up bridal style and carrying her to take her home

my arms began to tremble again

-you still fat-

-you are weak,-

-no, that's not true-

-yes, yes, it is-

-no-

-yes-...

End of flashback

-when we got home with my mom she was very frightened, and she called the parents of Rachel, when they arrived we told them what had happened, our parents were so angry that for a moment we think that their heads were going to explode, Rachel asked why Adamm did what he did so they told us that some people did not like Jews or people who were different and was the first time that they told us all about racism and and discrimination,we were kids and we had so much fear ,for us all people were the same,the day after, Rachel was very afraid that when the bell rang to go we left the school the faster we can, she even refuses to wear her collar that her parents had given her, a gold necklace with a Jewish star,so I promised her that I won't let anyone like Adamm hurt her again, so that was the promise that I could not keep. I couldn't defend her.-

-so you promised to protect her, but dude you slushy her every day since the first day of high school.-

-I promised to protect her from people like Adamm I never said anything to protect her from myself, any way doesn't matter anymore, the only promise that I made to Rachel was the only one that can't keep, hell, I feel so bad with myself, as a shit, yesterday my mom take me and my sister to the synagogue to pray for Rachel and her parents were there, I don't even get close to them, I can not see them without feel guilt, hell, I can not even watch myself in the mirror without feeling sick, You know, I keep thinking that I could have done something.-

-yes. I know how you feel, I feel just like you, I would love to do something,-

Puck was looking down - I know it sounds stupid but it is important to me-

-Why you don't tell her parents how you feel? maybe that makes you feel better, you could also talk to your mother. I feel just like you, the word, what if?is in my mind all the time, but I think we must stop blaming ourselves and also I do not think Rachel will forgive us if she doesn't watch us rehearsal for regional, when she come back-.

-do you really think she will come back'-

-I hope so, I want believe it, I need believe it-.

Mr. Schuester was all day on the couch in the living room crying, not even had the strength to go to bed, it had not even changed his clothes, his phone have twenty missed calls, and thousands of messages on the answering machine of his house, he felt miserable, he could not forget the face of his students , the face Kurt when they beat him , the sobs of pain,and especially Rachel's voice asking him for help,

-Mr. Schuester please stop him please don't let him do this to me -

The bell rang suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

he had no desire to talk to anyone, the bell rang again

-Will, it's me Emma, please Will open the door-

-Emma?,- Will had not spoken to or seen her since the" thing" with Shelby Corcoran (who ironically was the mother of Rachel) and April Rhodes

Will opened the door rub his eyes, and trying to wipe the tears.

-Emma what are you doing here?-

-I I found out what happened at school, I sorry did not come before, but I did not know if I should, I'm sorry, how are you?-

Will I look at the woman who had just in front of him and he collapsed on the floor, crying uncontrollably,

-Will, calm down, I'm here,- Emma picked him up carefully and took him inside the apartment

until the teacher was able to control himself.

-How do you know? How did you know what happened? -

-Figgins told me yesterday at school, is also in the news, I can do not believe what happened, I can not believe that they has not closed the school, did you know they want you to come back to teach?-

-I can not go there, Emma, I can not not go back-

-Will I know, if I want I can get your papers from your office for you, and also request an application to temporarily suspend you .-

-Thanks.-

-Do you want to talk?-

-Emma ,god ,I feel awful, I am a horrible teacher, I let this happen, I did nothing, I can not imagine what Rachel is suffering now, her parents, God I let them hurt my children .-

-Will it wasn't your fault, you're a great teacher and a good man, I'll stay here with you,I do not leave you alone-

-thank you, thank you very much, I do not talk, it hurts too much, it hurts to breathe.-

-you do not have to talk if you don't want to,I will be here with you until you fall asleep ...

thank you very much for reading