Chapter 10: Drowning

The truck pulled up inside the garage as the garage door closed behind them, turning off the engine and sat in silence for a while. Shizuma leaned back onto the seat and exhaled softly, they had come up empty handed as they could not find Miyuki. The only message that Shizuma had received was an hour ago, saying that she was okay and staying some place but would not say where, Miyuki must be more devastated then they thought.

-"Where could she be?"- Nagisa asked wearily, the pair had been out all day searching for her but could not find a single trace of her, -"How could anyone not have seen her?"-

Shizuma placed two fingers on her chin as she thought, -"I'm only guessing but she must have told the desk clerks to say that they never heard of her."-

-"Would she really do that?"-

-"If she really didn't want to be found, yes she would."- Shizuma removed the gloves she had on, -"It's not the first time she's done something like this."-

-"What do you mean?"- Nagisa asked as she began unzipping her jacket.

-"Before Miyuki met Eleanor, she had left Astraea Hill for a while because her father would not let her be."-

-"He pushed her to the edge and I've never seen her so angry…so she left and not even her father could find her."-

-"Did you know where she was?"-

-"Mostly, she would call me just to talk and would tell me where she was at and that she was okay."- Shizuma opened the truck door.

-"Except now she doesn't want to tell me where she is."- An exhale escaped her lips, -"But at least I know she's okay."-

The garage door slowly flipped open, the cold winter air quickly flooding the room and a sports car slowly making its way inside to park. The door reclosed slowly as Yaya came out of the vehicle as did Tsubomi who sat next to her.

-"I'm impressed you didn't get us lost Yaya."-

-"Told you I knew where we were going."- Yaya noticed Shizuma who was still inside the truck, -"Hey did you two leave too?"-

Shizuma nodded, -"We went to look for Miyuki but we couldn't find her."-

Nagisa poked her head going under Shizuma's arms, -"Where did you girls go?"-

-"We…went to have a little chat with Scarlet."-

-"Really?"-

-"Yeah."-

-"Did you yell at her?"-

Yaya shook her head, -"No. We'll tell you inside, come on."-

They entered the house, stepping into a sensation of warmth that enveloped their bodies after being in the cold for a few hours. There was nothing but silence in her home, it was a bit unsettling having a large home like this yet no noise what so ever. They stepped inside the game room to find Shion sitting on one of the couches reading a book and seeing as how she hasn't noticed them yet meant she was really into whatever she was reading.

-"Shion?"- She jumped after hearing her name being called out almost dropping the book she held.

-"Um, yeah."-

-"Where is everyone?"- Shizuma asked

-"Well Eli is upstairs and Chikaru should still be down here and I'm not sure where Momomi is."-

-"Is Eli-chan okay?"-

-"Well Chikaru did get her to eat something so that's something."-

-"Well that's a start."-

-"How has she been taking all this."- Yaya stepped forward.

-"Horrible, it took Chikaru a while to be able to calm her down after you girls left."- Shion softly shook her head, -"God…hearing how devastated she was…"-

-"I have to see how she's doing."- Yaya quickly raced upstairs to check up on her best friend, Nagisa and Tsubomi followed behind her. Shizuma stayed to talk with Shion to tell her everything Yaya had just told her to bring her up to speed about what's going on.

-"Shizuma?"- they turned to see Chikaru standing by the door with a worried expression on her face, Shizuma wasted no time in telling her everything as well and in the end they didn't hate Scarlet despite what she did and even though what she did was wrong, they were willing to give her another shot because overall Scarlet wasn't a bad person, so they still considered her a good friend.

-"I see, so Yaya-chan did that."- Shizuma nodded.

-"By the way Chikaru where is Eli?"-

-"She said she was going upstairs to rest."- No sooner than when she said that did they hear footsteps quickly head towards where they were.

Yaya opened the door, -"Eli is not in her room!"-

-"What?"-

-"She's probably just somewhere in the house, its already late I don't think she's going out right now."- Shion stood up.

They broke up to see where she was to make sure she was okay though it didn't take long for Chikaru to find her and what she saw made her heart sink. Eleanor was sitting on the floor with her back to the couch, one knee bent facing the fireplace but what she held in her hand was what made Chikaru feel that way, a large bottle of whiskey and from the looks of it, it was already half empty.

-"Eli-chan."-

Eleanor turned her head, "Oh heeey Chikaru didn't see you there, come join me." Chikaru felt horrible seeing her in this state, she never would have thought that Eleanor's depression would go so far as to drink alcohol.

-"Eli-chan I thought you didn't drink."-

Eleanor giggled, "Well I don't, but I dunno after all dis, it kinda feels good ya know."

Chikaru sat next on the floor next to Eleanor, -"Eli-chan how much have you drank?"-

Eleanor looked at her the half empty bottle, "Justa little bit but only a little."

Soon everyone walked in the room after seeing them in there and seeing Eleanor in such a broken state made them feel just as Chikaru did. Yaya sat on floor opposite of Chikaru but next to Eleanor and everyone was concerned for her.

-"Eli-chan I think you've had enough."-

Chikaru gently pulled the bottle out of Eleanor's grasp, "Oi gimme dat." She softly fell on Chikaru's lap, laughing as she laid there trying to get the bottle.

Chikaru handed the bottle to Momomi who was right next to her to put it away, just watching this alone was making Momomi feel awful no doubt everyone else felt the same just by looking at their faces.

Chikaru softly stroked Eleanor's check and quickly felt a wet sensation on her face, -"Eli-chan…have you've been crying?"-

"Yeah…I gotta tell ya, it sucks." Though she was feeling intoxicated, Eleanor was still coherent enough to actually listen and respond to them.

-"Eli why didn't you talk to us."- Yaya asked.

"I dunno, I just… I just never thought it would be so hard…" Chikaru could see fresh tears start falling down her face.

"I mean I've tried talkin to her…but she won't even respond to me. What's the point of trying to tell someone the truth and tell them you love them if they won't listen…" she sniffed, "God I dunno how many times I've tried calling her but she won't answer." Chikaru reached for Eleanor's hand and held it, "She hates me…that much I'm sure but I just want the chance to make everything right."

-"No Miyuki doesn't hate you."- Yaya soothingly ran her hand on Eleanor's back.

"Then why? Why doesn't she answer me? If she wants to break up with me then… I just don't know what to do…I've lost everything that ever mattered in my life." Her tears kept flowing.

-"You haven't lost us Eli-chan."- Chikaru griped her hand.

"I've lost Miyuki haven't I…"

-"No she's just angry; I don't think she'll break up with you."- Momomi had to find a way to bring back joy into the girl that had already done so much for her.

"No…I think she will." Her voice had lost all faith in everything, everyone could hear it, "You know the worst part of it is that she doesn't and won't believe me."

Chikaru was still stroking Eleanor's cheek softly, it reminded Eleanor of how her own mother would do that for her.

-"You'll see Eleanor soon Miyuki will come to her senses and realize how much of a misunderstanding this all was."- Everyone was still a bit surprised hearing Momomi utter things like that, it was all so strange to them.

"I wish it were that easy." Eleanor wanted to sit up but found herself comfortable on Chikaru's lap, "Let's face it, I destroyed Miyuki's faith in me. You know what…I'd rather have Miyuki break up with me then be angry at me forever…" That was it, no one expected Eleanor to ever say something like that and it wasn't true, she loves Miyuki more than anything. Eleanor was emotionally destroyed, everyone could see it and Chikaru was almost to the point of tears hearing Eleanor say such things, Yaya herself couldn't believe it either.

-"Eli what are you saying?"- Yaya asked.

"Wouldn't it be better for her…Not to put up with all this because of me?"

-"After everything you went through for you two to be together, The pain Miyuki's father caused you! You're just going to give up!"- Shion was shocked hearing her just give up like that, for as long as she's known Eleanor she never seemed the type to just give up so easily. Eleanor said nothing; it just killed her as the mere thought of not having Miyuki anymore was running through her head.

-"Eli you can't just say that."- Yaya knelt down in front of her, -"You can't just give up like that."-

-"She's right Eli-chan."- Chikaru added, -"You two love each other, that's more than enough to try and talk to her."-

-"Eleanor come on, you're better than that."- Momomi knelt next to Yaya, -"I know how bad this is, but you shouldn't give up. Get up and go get her."-

"There's nothing I'd love more then to talk to her, to make things right…"

-"Then why don't you."-

"I don't think she'd even believe me."

-"How do you even know that Eleanor."-

"I just do…" Eleanor laid there, her head on Chikaru's lap, sorrow filling her heart further and all she wanted was to reach for that bottle again and drink her problems away which went against everything she had ever said about alcohol and she began to hate herself for it.

"I just…don't want to lose Miyuki." Eleanor gripped Chikaru's hand "but I don't want to lose Scarlet's friendship either… I mean Miyuki is not even here…she probably doesn't even care what's happening to me right now." Her voice had gotten so low.

"She probably thinks I'm with Scarlet or something." Her vision slowly fading, her eyes closing slightly, she knew she was about to lose consciousness and with all that alcohol in her system there was no doubt she was going to feel sick in the morning.

Shizuma couldn't stand seeing her like this anymore; she knew she would cry herself if she stayed there hearing what Eleanor was going through. She walked out of the room while everyone else stayed by Eleanor's side as Nagisa quickly followed her to see why she was leaving and not staying with Eleanor in her time of need.

-"Shizuma where are you going?"- Nagisa switched to a jog to catch up to her, and when she turned around there was nothing but anger in Shizuma's eyes.

-"I'm going to find her."- was she angry? No, she would never hate Miyuki but perhaps she hated what this was doing to Eleanor for what probably was a misunderstanding. Eleanor really thinks that this may have broken their relationship and having had her heart broken before was terrible the first time and now Eleanor was going through it again. Eleanor may have had small arguments with Miyuki before but it was nothing this severe and most of the time they would just quickly apologize to one another because neither of them liked being angry towards one another and were once again very happy after they made up.

-"Shizuma it's getting really late."-

-"I know, I won't be gone long I promise."- placing a gentle hand on the younger girl's cheek.

-"Then I'll come with you."-

-"No, please stay here Nagisa."-

-"But—"- Shizuma cut Nagisa off by locking their lips together.

-"Promise me you'll stay here."- Her soft, majestic voice made Nagisa feel at ease.

-"Okay…but please don't take long, I don't want anything to happen to you."-

-"I promise, watch over Eli while I'm gone okay."- Nagisa nodded and pushed the button for the garage door to open, and then Shizuma took off in the truck. With only finding Miyuki a top priority and she wasn't going to stop till she found her and get to come to her senses or at least find out why she just left Eleanor like that.

The night dragged on as snow continued to fall all over London and the air kept getting colder by the minute. Everyone stayed in their warm homes, enjoyed the simple things but in one apartment a lone girl sat in on her couch in a complete haze. She sat with her back on the backrest and her knees pulled up to her chest and had her arms wrapped around them as her long, soft red hair covered all her back and fell past her shoulders almost like a cape.

What Yaya had told her left her in a state of confusion, now she began to question if she did indeed love Eleanor the way she had thought she did. She fell to her side on the soft cushions of the couch and just wondering why she was feeling the way she did, she felt horrible for what she had done to Eleanor and wanted her forgiveness but she was sure that was not going to happen. What she did scared herself, she was never like that and she never acted on impulse as she did when she kissed Eleanor, did she do that because she regretted not being able to return her feelings?

Did she just want a taste of what she had missed out in her life? Because if that was the case then she succeeded in only adding more pain in her heart.

She had lost Eleanor before when they were younger and ever since then she had regretted it, was she just trying to fix the hole in her heart that had been left open? She knew there were better ways to do it, and what she did was not one of them but she just wanted to show her that she meant a lot to her. Slowly the realization that they could never be was sinking in, they would forever be the best of friends just like they were when they younger.

"How could I have been so selfish…" Scarlet felt that she had ripped Eleanor's relationship with Miyuki to shreds, "I'm so stupid!"

She stood up and walked towards the window, she just had to know even though she already knew the answer. She wanted to ask her if is even possible to form a relationship with Eleanor, she just had to know.

"I wonder how she's doing." Though that question wasn't so hard to figure out, she already had an idea on how Eleanor must be feeling with Miyuki being gone from her and Scarlet being the reason for that.

She lowered her head on the cold glass, "I'm so sorry." She would wait till it was the right time, to find her and let her know just how sorry she was for everything, and she would understand if Eleanor would not want to see her again but just wanted to tell her regardless.

"If she hates me…then that's okay, I don't blame her." Why did her heart have to lead her towards more pain, why couldn't she had just let it go when she had broken her heart in the first place. Was it guilt that had plagued her all this time? Scarlet had loved her too but her own family was against it and she couldn't be with her as much as she wanted too, did that guilt drive her to do what she did?

Not even Scarlet knew the answer to her own heart but what she did want was someone to spend time with, to laugh with them, to hold them. She was tired, and it hurt being alone all the time, she just wanted those days to end and look forward to spending her life with someone.

"Damn it…" she sunk to the ground; her head still leaned on the glass. She had to make it right and she intended to make it so no matter what.

Shizuma drove from hotel to hotel, searching for Miyuki and then she came up to the last one and stopped by the side of it as exhaustion was slowly taking hold of her. Before she got out of the truck something quickly caught her eye and when she looked closer she could see the car that Miyuki had been driving parked at the back.

She brought her palm to her face, -"Baka…why didn't you see that before Shizuma?"- She hadn't even paid attention to none of the cars that had been parked but then again she never looked at what cars were parked at the back. She got out of the truck and made her way towards the building, the harsh winds blowing all her luscious silver hair to one side as she walked inside.

She approached the desk clerk, "Excuse me, I'm looking for Miyuki Rokujo." The desk clerk went through his books.

"Sorry but we don't know any—"

"Save it, I know she's here." She leaned on the desk, "Her car is parked out back."

He opened his mouth to speak but Shizuma quickly cut him off, "Look I'm completely exhausted and the last thing you want is to see me mad, now just tell me what room she's in."

He quickly went through his books again, and gave her the room number, "Thank you." She flicked her hair back as she headed to the elevator.

As the elevator ever so slowly made its way up, Shizuma pressed her back against the wall and felt that she could fall asleep at any given moment but kept herself from doing so. The elevator stopped on the fourth floor and she sluggishly made her way out and leaned against the wall for a while to regain herself.

-"Come on Shizuma, this isn't the first time you've stayed up late at night."- She wiped her hand down her face and resumed walking towards the hall.

She brought her hand down firmly on the door as she knocked on it. She waited for a few minutes when she heard a couple of locks being undone and then the knob started turning as the door swung open.

-"Shizuma?"- She looked at Shizuma with her arms crossed as she said.

-"You're a tough girl to reach Miyuki."-

Silence.

-"Aren't you going to invite me in?"-

-"Oh, gomen"- Miyuki stepped aside and opened the door to allow Shizuma to come inside.

They stayed in silence for a while as Shizuma paced a bit before leaning on a table to steady her tired form.

-"Shizuma what—"-

-"You know why I'm here."-

-"Shizuma I—"-

-"Just what the hell was that Miyuki?"- She stood up straight, -"Did you really just walk out on Eli? I mean I get that you were angry but at least let her explain herself to you, maybe it wasn't at all like you thought."-

-"I didn't…"-

-"how long were you planning on staying here."- Her voice getting slightly higher.

-"Just for tonight…I was coming back in the morning."-

-"Miyuki do you have any idea how Eli is doing."- Silence, -"How could you just walk away, after all the arguments you two have had, all the yelling and that could get intense, NOT once have you walked out on her like that."-

-"You don't know what happened."-

-"I do know, Eli told us."- Miyuki turned away, -"She is at home, wondering why her girlfriend won't respond to her calls or even talk to her."-

-"You don't understand Shizuma."-

-"Understand what Miyuki? That you didn't even give Eli a chance to explain what happened!"- Shizuma locked eyes with Miyuki, -"You know Eli would never cheat on you."-

-"You have no idea how much that hurt to see."- Miyuki backed up.

-"I do know Miyuki, you should have heard how she was crying."- Shizuma took a few steps closer to Miyuki, -"It was worse than when your father took you away from her. Were you really that bitter towards her!"- Her tone getting angrier.

-"That's not it Shizuma!"- She shouted back.

-"Then what Miyuki? Because you just left a heart broken girl back at home who thinks that she just lost you and that you don't care."-

-"Eli said that?"- As Shizuma said that, Miyuki had no idea how much her angel had been suffering because of this.

-"Yeah, she thinks that this broke up your relationship, she thinks that you no longer care about her."- Shizuma told her everything Eleanor had said back at home and hearing this from her made Miyuki feel utterly horrible.

-"She's done something I'd never thought I would ever see her do…"-

Miyuki looked back at Shizuma as she asked, -"What?"-

-"She nearly drank herself blind."-

Miyuki bolted up from the chair, -"What?!"-

-"Yeah you should have seen her; she's a complete wreck right now."- She explained, -"Everyone should still be there with her and all she's thinking about is if your coming back to her."-

Miyuki placed her hand on her head, in disbelief that Eleanor had started drinking, her heart was more torn then her own.

-"You left her because of something Eleanor would never do to you and I'm not blaming you but you should have at least listened to her."-

-"It's not just because of that!"- Her voice began to crack, -"But it did hurt Shizuma, you have no idea how much it hurt to see her kissing that… that."- she stopped herself briefly, -"It felt like someone reached into my chest and tore my heart out, it hurt me so much Shizuma! But it was half the reason I left."-

-"Then what was the rest Miyuki?"-

-"I…I hit her…"- she admitted, Shizuma quietly gasped. Miyuki had never once hit Eleanor even when their arguments had hit their boiling points. Was this why Miyuki had hid herself, did the guilt drive Miyuki to the edge because never in the time that Eleanor and Miyuki had spent together did she ever hit her and Shizuma knew Miyuki would never hit anyone even though there was that one time Shizuma had pushed her to the edge and received an open palm across her face but even she knew she deserved that one.

-"You what?"- Shizuma knelt down in front of Miyuki.

-"I hit her…I was angry when I saw those two together and I was just going to go outside to gather myself but then Eli grabbed my wrist to tell me something and I don't know what came over me I just…then she's on the floor…"- Miyuki ran her hand down her head as tears fell from her lashes, -"I couldn't stand to look at myself and I didn't want to be near Eli because of what I did to her… I was just so angry and hurt, then I hit her…"- Her fear was clearly expressed; she had done something she would never do to her angel and feared herself because she lost control, "I know Eli would never cheat on me but I wasn't thinking straight."

Now that Shizuma thought about it, Eleanor didn't mention that part at all or maybe it affected Eleanor more then she knew which was why they found her in such a broken down state.

-"I never meant to do that Shizuma…I never meant to hit her."- Shizuma could see how this was taking a toll on Miyuki and understood why she left but she still should have stayed with Eli or at least come back to her quickly.

-"I know."-

-"I was mad..."- She wiped her eyes.

-"I understand Miyuki."-

-"Now she thinks that I'm breaking up with her."- Miyuki lowered her head, -"I've been such an idiot."-

-"No don't say that Miyuki it wasn't anyone's fault."-

-"Scarlet's the reason why this happened!"-

-"I know, Eli had planned to tell you before."-

-"What? You mean this had happened before."-

-"Sort of, not to that extreme but she had tried to seduce her."- Shizuma explained, -"But Eli had turned her down countless times and was going to tell you about it but at the same time she had a hard time doing so."-

-"Why…I'm her girlfriend she can tell me anything."-

-"She didn't want to lose either of you."- She said, -"She didn't want to lose your love and Scarlet's friendship."-

-"Even after what she did us?"-

-"It's not that easy Miyuki, did you forget those two grew up together, they're practically sisters."- Shizuma placed her hands on Miyuki's knees, -"Would you be able to sever our friendship Miyuki if it meant Eli's happiness."-

Miyuki was speechless, -"See…it's not such an easy thing to do…Miyuki you're my best friend, if I had to lose your friendship I don't think I'll be able to live with myself."-

-"Neither could I…we've been through a lot together."- Seeing Shizuma's warm smile comforted her.

-"Arigato, but this is exactly what Eli has been going through."-

Shizuma lowered her gaze, -"Eli doesn't hate you for hitting her…she knows that you didn't mean it."-

-"What if she does?"-

She shook her head, -"She won't…you know Eli better than anyone."-

-"I'm a horrible person for doing that."-

-"No you're not, you didn't mean for it to happen Miyuki…you did slap me after all."- She managed to get a small laugh out of Miyuki, -"I got to admit, I had that one coming."- She smiled at her, -"You can be quite scary when you want to be Miyuki."- They softly laughed together.

-"And you can drive people crazy when you want to."-

-"Only with you."- Miyuki pressed her forehead against Shizuma's, -"It's more fun when it's you Miyuki."- They laughed.

-"So come on Miyuki, come back home Eli is miserable without you."-

-"I will I just need to be by myself for tonight, I'm not ready to face her."- Shizuma nodded, -"I promise I'll be back first thing in the morning."-

Shizuma hugged her dearest friend who returned the gesture warmly and with a kind goodbye Shizuma left her apartment. With a smile on her face now that Miyuki was coming home and was feeling better about the whole thing or at least she hoped she was. She drove back home though Shizuma could only wonder how Eleanor has been faring since she left. She wouldn't know till she got there, and it was getting late into the night so she hurried home.

Closing the garage door behind her and slowly making her way inside, Shizuma closed the door behind her and locked it. The house was quiet and judging by how late it was everyone was probably asleep as she yawned herself as she made her way around the house to pour herself a glass of water. Nearing the living room she noticed Chikaru was still there, who turned around after hearing Shizuma get close.

-"Shizuma?"-

-"Chikaru."- Her expression still carried her warm smile as always, -"How's Eli?"-

-"See for yourself."- she gestured as Shizuma moved up closer and saw Eleanor sound asleep on the couch with Yaya who was asleep on a futon on the floor next to her.

-"You actually stayed awake all this time?"-

She nodded, -"Yes, I wanted to make sure Eli would be okay and to make sure you got home okay."- She sounded exactly how a mother would, which only made Shizuma smile back at her.

-"You know something Chikaru,"- she turned her head, responding with a simple 'hmm', -"You would be a wonderful mother."- seeing Chikaru blush like that was rare but she looked flattered.

-"Arigato…you really think so"- Her smile was just enchanting.

-"Of course you would Chikaru, Eli seems to think so."-

-"Nani?"-

-"Back home after the birthday party we threw for her and after you left with Shion."- Chikaru thought back to that day, -"She said you would be an awesome mom."- Such a comment warmed up Chikaru's heart as she looked back at Eleanor.

-"That's so sweet of her."-

-"You two have been really close huh."-

-"Yes ever since we met back at Astraea Hill...Every day we hung out together, it was worthwhile as we all played silly games or just laughed together or dress her up in cute outfits."-

-"What did Shion think about it."- Chikaru brushed Eleanor's hair away from her eye, -"They didn't talk much, But Shion enjoyed her company, us three became such good friends."-

-"That's really nice to hear."-

-"You should get some sleep Shizuma, you look exhausted."- her weary face was enough to tell Chikaru that she needed a well deserved rest and so did she after having been up way past midnight making sure Eleanor would be okay after having drank so much alcohol.

-"Yeah, you should get some rest too I bet Shion is pretty lonely right now."- She teased as she made her way inside the kitchen to retrieve something.

She came back carrying a small bucket and placed it next to Eleanor then leaving a handkerchief on the rim.

-"She's going to need that in morning."- She glanced at Eleanor before softly caressing her cheek and tucked her in and doing the same to Yaya before heading upstairs.

As they walked upstairs Chikaru turned to Shizuma, -"Shizuma did you find Miyuki?'-

-"Yeah I did."-

-"That's a relief."- A small exhale escaped from her lips.

-"She'll be back in the morning."- They turned round the corner and walked down the hall before Chikaru's room came up first, -"I'll tell you all about it in the morning."-

-"Okay."- After a goodnight hug Chikaru closed the door behind her and quickly brushed her teeth and changed into her more comfortable clothing to sleep in and crawled into bed and Shion who was fast asleep turned over and snuggled up against Chikaru as she found herself lost into dreamland along with Shion.

After saying goodnight to Chikaru, Shizuma resumed her walk through the halls and towards her room seeing nothing but a few lights that illuminated the dark halls. She quietly made her way inside her room, seeing the motionless form of her cute girlfriend sound asleep on the bed. She untied the ribbon that held her hair and allowed to flow freely and after brushing her teeth and changing into a fresh set of clothes she slipped under the covers, feeling Nagisa turn around.

-"Glad you're back."-

-"You've been awake all this time?"- She felt her nod her head.

-"It's hard to fall asleep without my Shizuma cuddly bear."- Nagisa cuddled up closely with Shizuma, though she couldn't see it Shizuma was smiling at her cute Nagisa and before she could say anything back, Nagisa could hear Shizuma's slow and steady breathing and after giving her a kiss she joined her in sleep and to get ready for the next day.

End chapter 10