Chapter 10

Dinner ran perhaps a bit smoother than Thanksgiving. Nobody was on the edge and, albeit brief, even Zelena kept up conversations with both Henry and Tinkerbell, who were sat next to her. Dinner went on for hours as it kept snowing outside. Henry taught carols to Roland and all of them had a laugh when the little one tried to wrap his mind around some of the silliest lyrics. There were some toasts, much banter and the delicious moment when Regina carried the apple pie to the table. The ginger allowed herself to enjoy the atmosphere as if it were a dream.

It was already late and Roland was falling asleep in spite of his desperate attempts to stay awake and keep playing with Henry. The Charmings had the truck, but the Locksleys and Tink had no means of transport, so Regina offered them a ride. Snow told her they would wait for her to come back before going.

Maybe at another time Zelena would have taken it as her cue to go to her bedroom, but she felt comfortable and chose to stay with her nephew and wait for her sister.

All of them were in the living room, where the fire was dying down little by little. The adults sipped their glasses of cider while Henry looked through one of his new comic books. After a few minutes in silence, Emma nudged Henry and broke the quiet.

"You know, kid. This reminds me of that Christmas we were coming back from Hartford and got snowed in at the motel."

"Yeah." Henry's smile was a bit strained, as if he had too many emotions to put them on just a gesture. "Those memories are really nice, even if they're false."

As much as Henry talked about the missing year in New York, he never talked —at least with his aunt— about the fake memories Regina had given him and Emma. Zelena's curiosity was bigger than her good sense and she could not bite her tongue.

"So that never happened, did it?"

She had just wanted to check, but soon it was clear it wasn't the best thing to say. Henry only buried his head in his book, so no one could see the expression on his face. Emma tightened her grip on the glass for a moment and her lips became a thin line, but she said nothing. Snow answered, though.

"They have memories of the same things, so it's like they actually happened."

Her words hit a nerve and all serenity abandoned the redhead.

"It's not," she contradicted strongly. "They could've happened if Emma hadn't given up Henry, but she did. And so, the woman Henry has real memories of Christmas with is Regina."

She did not even realise how angry she was in her sister's behalf, she just believed those words to be an attempt to dismiss what had really happened. Snow kept replying, matching her voice, and neither of them saw the blonde trying to put a hand on her mother's arm to stop her from going on.

"Emma had no other choice. She just wanted to give him his best chance."

Hearing the last sentence, Zelena finally exploded.

"Why are you so sure that abandoning your children to the charity of random strangers equals to their best chance? You're all full of..." The redhead tried to calm herself down, but she could not bite back a last retort filled with venom. "You only want to delude yourselves into believing you did the right thing."

The deadly silence that followed did not last long. Emma got up from the couch very slowly and, although Hook and Charming stepped forward, she did not give them a chance to cut in.

"Is the Wicked Witch trying to give us a moral lesson?"

Her voice was cold and calculated and Zelena hated to admit that her reminder stung much more than it should have. She knew a new attack was expected from her, but she hesitated to deliver it and Henry took his chance to jump on his feet all of a sudden, putting an end to that madness.

"Enough!" he yelled. His voice was full of emotion, but his eyes were as clear as ever. "You're all wrong. I like and treasure those memories even if they aren't real. And she's not the Wicked Witch anymore. You told me people can change and we need to support them, not bring them down. I don't want us to repeat the same mistakes we made with mom." He paused for a second to take a deep breath and kept talking more calmly. "She's going to be home soon, by the way, so we'd better pretend this never happened. She brought us together here and I don't want to ruin that."

After his speech, the boy actually seemed to want nothing more than to storm out —so did Zelena. However, he sat on the couch again and, shortly after, Emma followed him. He put his head on her shoulder and they looked like two knights exhausted after a battle.

They spent the following fifteen minutes in a dense silence, until Regina arrived. If she noticed the tension, she said nothing. They said goodbye as the brunette and Henry walked them to the door. When only the three of them were left in the house, Henry did not follow his mother into the living room, where Zelena had stayed. He said he was tired and, with a smile and an 'I love you,' he kissed his mother goodnight. And Zelena felt the unmistakable weight of guilt.

Regina came into the room, unusually light-hearted. She went to the cabinet and put a cider glass for herself. As she came closer to refill Zelena's glass, the redhead finally managed to react. She put it down and wet her lips.

"No, I'm... I'm going upstairs."

"You too?" replied Regina, surprised.

"No. J— Just for a moment. I need something. I'll be right back," she said nervously, already knowing and dreading what she must do.

"Okay. I'll wait for you here. There's something I need to talk to you about."

Zelena nodded absent-mindedly and turned around. She went upstairs slowly, hesitating. Maybe she should not be doing that after all. Not without consulting Regina first, certainly. Not behind Regina's back. She had no right. And yet, she reached the top of the stairs and knocked on Henry's door.

A few seconds passed before she heard his voice.

"Mom?"

"No, it's Zelena," she whispered, not wanting to risk Regina hearing.

There was no immediate response and Zelena leant a little against the door. The thought that he would not allow her entry should have crossed her mind, but it hadn't. Finally, after a couple of tense seconds, he spoke.

"Come in."

She opened the door to find the boy sitting on the bed, with his closed fairy tale book next to him. For a moment, she was about to say she would go if he wanted her to, but she gulped and swallowed any words born out of her insecurity. She had arrived there and would need all her courage to face their next conversation.

She closed the bedroom door after her and stepped forward. She did not dare sit on his bed, though. She chose to slightly perch on the windowsill, letting her gaze wander before starting to speak.

"Are you okay?" It was not what Zelena had planned to start the talk, but those were the first words that slipped out of her tongue.

"Fine," he shrugged, not looking her in the eye.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like this."

She could not control what came out of her mouth, although it did not matter so much —her wish to explain herself was stronger. Henry shrugged off her comment again, but then a thought crossed his mind.

"You haven't told anything to mom, have you?"

"I haven't," assured Zelena, shaking her head for good measure, "but I think she should know."

Henry refused once more and they fell silent. The redhead did not know how to bring up her point.

"I shouldn't have said those things," she admitted at last. That time, it was her who would not meet his eyes.

"It wasn't your place to say those things to Emma. She's also my mom."

"I know," she answered simply.

"Some people do act with good intentions, auntie."

The endearment brought tears to Zelena's eyes. She kept looking down and nodded wordlessly. Henry sighed and he sounded more tired than a child of his age should be.

"It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes."

"No, it's not," the redhead said in a broken voice. Tears kept welling up in her eyes and she could not help it. "My actions aren't mistakes. I'm sorry, Henry."

Her last sentence had been barely a whisper and she started to doubt the boy had heard her at all when he offered no reply. She swallowed and steeled herself to talk again anyway —although she did still not look up.

"I've done horrible things. I'm really wicked, Henry. You shouldn't dismiss it so easily." She finally gathered her courage and gazed up at him, because she did not want to see his reaction, but he had a right to look in her eyes and know she was telling the truth. "I've done horrible things to you and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I..." She was finding it difficult to keep putting so much honesty into words. "I deeply regret having threatened you. And... I also led to Neal's death. You don't deserve so much pain. And it's my fault." The boy remained silent and she could not help adding a last, "I'm sorry."

The silence stretched and Zelena dried with her sleeve the few tears that had escaped. Henry was not looking at her anymore and she thought perhaps it would be better if she left him alone. She had not lied —she did not expect her apology to be accepted.

She got up, biting back a sigh. However, as she passed by him, Henry looked up and caught her sleeve. And then, he slid his hand until his fingers held onto hers. It was a light touch, but it froze the redhead.

"I forgive you." He spoke as she had, hardly over a whisper.

"What?" Zelena was so shocked that almost stepped back and lost her touch with her nephew. At first, she was speechless and then, all her words tumbled out. "Henry, what I did to you... I can never make up for it. You don't have to forgive me. I didn't came here for—"

"I know," he cut her off. "I'm still choosing to forgive my aunt and move on."

Henry sounded like himself once more —confident in his beliefs and actions. Zelena did not know what to reply. Nothing came to her mind and Henry's gaze piercing into hers was not helping.

"Well, uh... Thank you. Get some rest, okay? It's been a long day," she managed to mumble awkwardly. He smiled at her, though, as if she had said the right thing, and that encouraged her to smile back. Tentatively, she squeezed his hand and got out, feeling lighter than she could ever remember.

She almost went to her bedroom, but Regina's words came to her mind. That time, she did let out a deep, long sigh as she began to go downstairs. She hoped the brunette did not mean to talk about anything too serious, because she was looking forward to getting some rest herself.

In the living room, Regina was watching the television absent-mindedly while she sipped her cider. She gestured for Zelena to take a sit next to her on the couch and the redhead did, albeit confused by Regina's intentions.

"What did you want?" she asked, wanting to get it over with.

Regina gave a last sip and put the glass down, turning to her sister. She looked slightly nervous, or maybe excited.

"Give me your hand."

Even more baffled, Zelena, who had grabbed the cider bottle to pour some for herself, held out her left hand without thinking.

"The other one," insisted Regina.

Now she felt more distrustful, but she put the bottle down and held out her right hand. Regina pulled back her sleeve and it took the former witch a second to understand what was going on.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" She let out a high-pitched scream as she hurried to take back her hand and surround her wrist —and the cuff—with her fingers.

Zelena could have sworn Regina had tried to take it off. She could just not fathom why.

"Calm down and stop yelling," the brunette said through her teeth. Then, she took a deep breath and went on more calmly. "Consider this my Christmas gift to you. I know the cuff isn't healthy, especially for long periods of time."

Zelena did not even stop to think about the absurdity of Regina wanting to take off the cuff as a Christmas present, as if she was not wearing her Christmas presents.

"I'm fine," she said instead, before the mayor could keep talking. The redhead felt on the edge, ready to jump on her feet at any time.

Suddenly, Regina's expression changed drastically. She narrowed her eyes and sat upright.

"What are you up to?" Her voice was not exactly cold, but it had lost her previous warmth.

"What?" was all Zelena was able to incredulously exclaim. She finally jumped on her feet and stepped back instinctively.

"Why wouldn't you want to get rid of it?"

Regina got up as well and took a step forward. Zelena gulped as she noticed the calculated look in her eyes. She then realised how long it had been since the last time Regina had looked at her like that. And she found out she had not missed it at all. She felt as she had lost something and she did not know what.

"I'm fine," she repeated nervously. "Can't we leave things as they are?"

Against her will, she was almost begging. It may be what made Regina relax ever so slightly.

"No until you tell me a reason. And it'd better be a good one," the brunette insisted, though.

Zelena gulped again, trying to swallow the lump in her throat that was stopping her from uttering a single word. She looked around the living room, knowing it was in her best interests to be honest with Regina. She could not find the courage to do so, though.

"I'm not up to anything," she murmured at last. "It's just... Things are easier with it on." The other woman looked at her, not comprehending, and the redhead huffed. "I don't want to turn green again. Or wicked, for that matter."

She rushed her last line and wanted to curse herself for her weakness when she felt tears prickling her eyes. She took a deep breath to calm herself. Although she did not particularly want to know how much she had messed up the day, she risked a blurry glance at her sister. The brunette was looking back at her with understanding in her eyes and something soft —something too similar to pity to Zelena's liking.

"Honestly, that's—" The redhead just shook her head, not wishing to know what Regina's opinion was. The mayor sighed and relented. "Okay, maybe I'm rushing things and it's too soon. I won't take it off. Just... calm down, all right?"

Zelena nodded wordlessly, forcing herself to keep her head up. How she wished she would not have tied her hair up, so she could partially hide her face behind it. The mayor sat again and picked up her glass of cider, but the ginger did not follow her.

If Regina knew what had happened barely an hour ago, she would never have considered taking the cuff off. To be honest, Zelena had never thought the cuff would be removed anyway. And still, her sister had considered it. Only her own fear had stopped it from happening. Zelena would have preferred to tell her about what had happened with the Charmings while she was gone, so she would not have had to be honest about her reasons. However, she had assured Henry she wouldn't and thus, it was out of question.

If she had tried to convince herself at the moment that she deserved what Regina had had at any time of her life, she could not have managed.

She murmured something to excuse herself and ran away to the safety of her room —even though the monster she was running away from was within herself.

A/N: Awww, you need to know those reviews made my day. Thanks to Rose Nguyen, Onceuponlover, Marina Ka-Fai and Mary!

I'm looking forward to knowing what you think about this chapter, so don't hesitate to review!