A/N: And hence came forth chapter ten, bringing with it careers advice, a seriously serious Sirius and an astronomy tower with a GREAT view.
As everyone knows, You-Know-Who is gaining power. A couple of my friends are, when the leave school, going to join him. They told me that everyone who joins him gets LOTS of money, a new toaster and all the chocolate they can eat. I don't know whether to tell the Headmaster or go with them. Free chocolate vs. good. Your input please.
Sincerely,
Half-Blood-Prince---
Dear Half Blood Prince,
ARE YOU FLAMIN MAD!? No matter what this bigheaded ass offers you, you must NEVER join the murdering bastard! If you want to join something join a group to fight him. No offer is worth the lives of your family, friends and everyone around you, because if you join him, you might as well be signing their lives away. DO NOT JOIN THE MURDERING BASTARD!
-Prongs
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I really think there is no other option than to NOT JOIN him. I think either way you're risking your life and the lives of people you care about so you may as well do it without killing tons of innocent people. Also I think it's best not to encourage this guy, you should tell your friends to stay away from him, If he didn't have a hoard of mindless followers he would be practically harmless. Well almost.
-M
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Besides, him and his followers are kind of AGAINST the whole "half-blood" thing so I don't think he'd like having a "half-blood price" in his group. Though I heard a rumor that he's a muggle born too. This guy is seriously screwed up.
-S
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It's all too confusing. Who is more likely to win this war?
-P
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Petey, I hope you're not considering joining. You're a Marauder. How dare you think such terrible thoughts!
- J
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I'm not! Really. I solemnly swear.
-P
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You better, because there will be hell to pay if I discover otherwise.
- S
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Hey! What do you take me for? I'd never do anything like that.
-P
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Hmm, I just hope not, for everyone's sake I stand by what I said before, if you join the Dark Lord, everyone you have ever cared about is at risk.
- J
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Yes, even if you join him you really are still at risk, if not even more so. This "man" has no concept of loyalty, someone so self-important would never be interested in sharing his power with anyone else. I think we've established that under no circumstances is it okay to join him. And Half Blood Prince, I suggest you give your friends the same advice. Apart from it being completely unethical it's not a very good career choice.
-M
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Yeah, you must have had a really crappy guidance counselor.
-S
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Yes, I think Professor Andchest is in desperate need of retirement. He suggested that I become a caretaker. As if. All in favor of a new Careers Counselor say AYE!
- J
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AYE!
- S
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Aye!
- P
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I agree. I mean... er... Aye!
–M
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Good, then it's settled. McGonagall is the new Careers Counselor; She suggested I me as an Auror.
- J
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Well... she suggested me as a professor...
-M
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Good for you Moony, using that brain of yours. As long as you promise to give any future kids of mine perfect marks, you as a professor will be acceptable.
– J
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WHAT! Moony! You'd better not be considering this! A Marauder does not join the enemy! Isn't this what we were just talking about?
-S
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James Junior needs Moony to pass him Sirius, don't be daft.
- J
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I agree with Sirius, if you become a professor, how will we get away with all our pranks?
- P
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Pete, I think by the time Moony is a Professor, we will have graduated.
- J
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Well, most of us anyway.
- S
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Anyway, you're getting off topic. Moony can't become a professor because it is against everything we stand for.
-S
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You're just bitter because McGonagall said you wouldn't have to worry about a career choice because you'd be in prison by then.
-P
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Oi! Quiet you! That's classified information!
-S
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Ouch!
- J
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Don't worry Sirius; I'll break you out with my Auror authority. We'll fight evil together for many years to come.
- J
---
Well aren't you just modern day superheroes. You could wear matching outfits with your underwear on the outside. Maybe you'll save Lily, a dear damsel in distress and be together for the rest of your lives. Oh dear, I hope I haven't given you any ideas.
-M
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Too late. He's already sketching up the costume plans.
- S
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Lily would look fantastic in that dress…
- J
---
Oh dear. What have I done?
-M
Prongs,
You know, you really surprise me. You act all arrogant in classes and on the Quidditch pitch during the day, and then you actually give some very introspective advice (Moony as well). Sadly, I have attempted to do most of the things you have suggested. Yet he continues going out with random bimbos, dumps them one week later, and then comes whining to me about how much he wants a real girl. Despite all of the hints I give him that there is someone real right in front of him, he just doesn't seem to get it. He also doesn't seem to get the fact that he really has no need to copy my Transfiguration essay when he is actually quite gifted in that subject. I have the proof from our last project.
Speaking of my essay...he's currently trying to find last night's to copy right now. On top of that, he smells suspiciously like firewhiskey. Great, now I have to go strangle it from him. I really am in no mood for his puppy eyes.
-The once curious Ravenclaw (who is now very annoyed with a certain hungover Gryffindor and is seriously considering on getting her seat changed just to make him suffer. Lily is encouraging me to do it.)
---
Seriously, if you're going after Sirius (because it is now obvious to everyone, except Sirius, that he's the one you're talking about) there is no point. You could say he has rather non-existent morals and he isn't going to stay true to one girl. Give him a couple of years, or offer him something he can't get from all the other girls. It's up to you to find out what that thing is. Also, I am glad that more people are acknowledging my advice giving skills. Everyone who did gets a cookie. Just look under your pillows and it should appear one day.
- J
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Huh? Did I miss something?
-S
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Oh, we were just talking about— ouch!
- P
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Shut it Pete.
- J
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Alrighty then. Advice. Sirius. Hmm... Advice on dealing with Sirius is throwing him out the Astronomy tower. And it is good Advice indeed.
-M
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Oooooooh no. I'm not falling for that one again Moony, there's no way ANYONE is getting me back up that damned tower.
-S
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Rachel did last night.
- P
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Yeah, half of Sirius' "dates" are in the tower, when they're not in the broom closet.
J
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So? I can tell when someone wants to throw me out the window. It's their eyes that give them away. That evil "What a wonderful view Sirius! Look out the window so I can give you a PUSH!" kind of look. I've seen it enough times to be able to recognize it like that! . . . That wasn't as effective without the finger-snapping
-S
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Hmm, he's right; we'll have to think of more ways to drop Sirius from great heights. Any ideas Moony?
- J
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His broom? We could jinx it? Or vanish it whilst he's flying!
-M
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Oh, good one!
- J
---
Why does everyone delight in bringing me pain? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!
-S
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It's your lack of respect for Lily and all the times you pranked us and made fun of me because of the whole Lily thing. Yes, she is the center of everything.
- J
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I am shocked James! I never did such a thing! Look at me; does this look like the face of a criminal?
-S
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Yes.
-P
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Maybe I should take the balaclava off...
-S
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It's the eyes; a dead give away. And I know you too well. We didn't spend the last six years together pranking and marauding without me learning a thing or two about you and your "quirks."
- J
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It's true; he can read you like a book.
- P
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You know, I really think we should concentrate on the question. Preferably on answering the question. But marveling at the word "curious" will do just fine. It's the first step to actually giving advice.
-M
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Curious. What a curious word...
-P
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Firstly, Sirius, stop teasing the girls by asking them for homework notes. We all know perfectly well how smart you are, despite your attempts to hide it, and this girl has approached me so many times about all this and frankly, I can't stand all the complaining. Just stop it, please.
- J
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Not my fault, I just…
- S
---
What?
- J
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Find it hard to talk to girls.
- S
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Huh?
- P
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You do realise that that has NOTHING to do with cheating in Transfiguration. I hope you're aware of that. Just as I am aware that no one will pay any attention to this. So while no one's listening may I just take a moment to say to the First Years: Cheating in WRONG.
-M
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That's nice Remus... Well, back to me. It's just... well... No girls take ME seriously so how am I supposed to take anyone else seriously?
-S
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Cool your jets Moony, it's all related, much like pureblood families.
- J
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DAMN RIGHT!
- S
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Sirius, I think our reputation as jokers has severely affected our chances of ever being taken seriously.
- J
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But wasn't it all worth it?
- P
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Since I can't get a date with Lily, err, NO. Well, on second thoughts, maybe.
- J
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Everyone takes Moony seriously.
-S
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That's because he's a stick.
-P
---
Hey!
-M
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It's true!
-P
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Yeah, you book worm. You're so pale, you know, I heard that sunlight is actually good for you.
- J
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Can we go back to talking about Sirius being taken seriously? I mean, seriously, let's be serious here for just a second. Sirius seriously deserves to be taken seriously sometimes. Don't you Sirius?
-M
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Huh?
- P
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Talk about overkill.
- J
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Stop joking here Moony! This is seriously sirius business! Gosh, if love my name!
- S
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Among other things.
- P
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The only thing Sirius doesn't like about himself is his family.
- J
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And he wonders why girls don't take him seriously.
- P
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Good one Pete!
- J
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Hey!
- S
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Well then, I think we have established that in order for Sirius not to cheat off your Transfiguration homework you must take him seriously. At least I think that's what we've established. You know what, I don't think we've really established anything other than Sirius' name is subject to some GREAT puns.
-M
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And, we've also established that girls must wait a few years for our friend here to mature a little more, in order to have a serious Sirius relationship. But, at this rate, we all might be old and wrinkly and me and Lils will probably have many grandkids by then. So, it might be best to look elsewhere.
- J
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But if you want a sirius relationship with me NOW, I'll be waiting in the broom closet. Not the Astronomy Tower. Or any high up places with windows and great views.
-S
Dear Remy,
Where were you last night? You know that last night was our anniversary!
Love,
A very upset Cassy
---
What? Remus has a girlfriend? Do tell.
- S
---
REMUS! YOU NEVER SAID YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND!
-Pete
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Whoa, this is so unexpected and yet juicy at the same time.
- J
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Oh dear... awkward...
-M
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You're going to have to say more than that.
-S
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Don't try and deny it, you'll only embarrass Cassy in front of the whole school!
- J
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He has too many morals to do that.
- P
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I'm not denying anything! I just don't feel like discussing this with you.
-M
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Why not?
- J
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Is she hot?
- S
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Because... well... I thought it'd be obvious. Well, if it wasn't Sirius has just made it so. It's because of THAT.
-M
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Is that a yes? Did you DO anything with her?
-S
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See what I mean!
-M
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Sirius, lay off for a sec, you're scaring him. Remus, you didn't have to hide it from us, I understand.
- J
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I heard she's a redhead.
- P
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IF IT'S LILY YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!!!!!
-J
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Just kidding, she's a brunette, I saw her.
- P
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For crying out loud! James you are such an obsessive over-protective stalker! And Pete, thank you for proving my point even further.
-M
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What? It's not my fault if you meet her out by the lake and in the Room of Requirement where only rats and mice can find you. I have friends in high places.
- P
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Is she pretty, Pete?
- S
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Yes, very.
- P
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Have I dated her?
- S
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Sirius!
-M
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No, I don't think so.
- P
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How dare you date someone before me, Moony! I thought you were my friend?
- S
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Sirius you are so immature.
-M
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Anyway, why'd you stand this poor girl up?
-S
---
It was full moon last night, remember Sirius?
- J
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Oh, so it was. Good times, good times.
-S
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Oh sure, for YOU. Well, Cassy, I was er... busy. That night. I forgot to mention it. Sorry?
-M
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Oho! Moony's in trouble!
-S
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Yeah, he was helping us study, like he does every full moon. It's sort of a Marauders tradition and just for fun, Sirius brings out the firewhiskey.
- J
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I thought we – Ouch! Why do people keep doing that?
- P
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Because you don't know when to keep quiet.
- J
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Well I don't see how you manage to study with a blood alcohol level that's off the chart but I guess that's just one of Sirius and James' many "talents." Anyway, Cassy, I realise I should have told you earlier, I'm sorry; I just didn't want to break such a strong tradition. I'll make it up to you.
-R
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That's right! Bros before-- Ow!
-S
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Don't get into that again Sirius.
-M
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Wait a sec, I know Cassy! We did that Charms project together. She's very nice, and smart. Just your type Moony. You did well, congrats!
- J
---
Are you sure I haven't dated her?
- S
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Yes, she isn't your type at all.
- J
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But Pete said she was hot?
- S
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She is.
- J
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Than that IS my type!
- S
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Just shut up and leave the poor girl and Moony alone. The last thing Moony's fragile love-life need is a drunk, arrogant prick interrupting things.
- J
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Sirius, I'm warning you now so you don't get yourself severely injured later. Stay away from her; don't make me maul you.
-M
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You wouldn't.
- S
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Oh I would.
-M
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Damn you.
- S
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When is your next date with her, Moony?
- J
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That's classified information.
-M
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I just want to know so I can tie up Sirius and make sure he doesn't get in the way. What did you think?
- J
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It's still classified. But you'll know when you find Sirius is gagged and tied up in the closet.
-M
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If it were me and Lily, I would want Sirius tied up, gagged and thrown in the lake to keep him away. I understand your situation.
- J
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Hey, that's a bit harsh!
- S
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For you, it's not enough.
- J
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You're right James. I should try something a little more effective. Sirius! Do you want to come with me to the Astronomy Tower? I hear it's got a GREAT view.
-M
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There's no was I'm falling for that again.
- S
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Oh I'm sure you'll be FALLING pretty soon.
-M
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AHHH, SAVE ME FROM THE WRATH OF MOONY!!
- S
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You evil, evil man.
-P
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This is more entertaining than Sirius going free-range in the kitchens and eating all the pudding.
- J
Hello there! Yay! Chapter 10! DOUBLE DIGITS! Well, thankyou very very much for all your reviews and questions. Please send more :). Oh how I love teasing Sirius evil laugh we'd never let him be thrown out the window though so don't worry. We just like pulling his tail :)
-discombobulated.shoe
Well isn't this turning out to be very successful!! Yay, thanks to everyone who has reviewed. There are too many to mention, but feel free to read all our reviews for yourself if you want to see who has become involved. Yes, Remus finally has a girlfriend. Perhaps this is not the last we will hear of Cassy hint hint. I've noticed that Cassy, in all its varied spelling, has been used several times by different people. Hmm, were to go now. The good news is that I have bullied Shoe into working on the questions quite a lot lately, so you can thank me for the frequent updates. The next one should be up in a few days. Remember to send us your questions and ideas (we're running low at the moment)(also, if you want more of Lily, send us a Lily question, and a Lily chapter will soon follow!) and we'll always welcome a review!
Now for more questions! Yay!
- Tiger-Cub684