See Chapter One for Notes and Disclaimers
1929 ZULU
National Outlet Mall
While Harriet, Mac and Lucy were busy getting "beautiful" Harm, Bud and the boys strolled through the mall loaded down with bags filled with toys, books, some clothing that Harriet bought, and of course, shoes for Mac. When they reached the pizza stand, AJ insisted his Uncle Harm buy him a slice, Godfather chips, he called it and Harm was glad to oblige.
Once the children were busy with their pizza, with AJ monitoring a lapsed game of "Going on a Picnic," Harm finally had a chance to update his confidant on what had been going on.
He sighed deeply, "That mess from Mexico refuses to die." He wanted, needed to talk to his friend about it, and he knew Bud was too polite to broach the topic.
"I somehow thought that's what had you acting like a bear with a toothache today. I thought at first it would the Colonel but she seems to be doing fine today," Bud sighed. "So what happened? Did you get busted?"
"Not as such. No," replied Harm. "I did have a very...bad meeting with Annie, though, not long after you and I talked about everything." He stared off into space as the memories of that night ate away at his conscience for the umpteenth time.
"I don't think I'm going to like this? I'm not going to like this, am I?" Bud asked getting nervous at where this conversation was headed.
Harm shook his head. "Nope. You won't like it at all. You want the long or the short of it? Not that it matters, it ends bad either way, but I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
"Lay it on me," said Bud. "If I'm in this, I'm going in it all the way."
Harm took a deep breath. "Annie called me at home one afternoon, said she had to see me that night at the bar of the DC Plaza Hotel, and that I was to come alone. I didn't know what she was up to, just that I wanted no part of it, so I told her Mac and I would both be there."
"I suppose that went over like a lead balloon," Bud sighed. "What did she want? No, don't tell me. Tell me you didn't go."
"I wasn't going to," said Harm, fidgeting with his wedding band, "but when I refused she said not coming wasn't an option and neither was bringing Mac with me. I was afraid if I didn't go, she'd find a way to tell Mac about Mexico, you know, so I went."
"Would she actually do that or were you just being paranoid?" Bud asked sipping his drink.
"Oh, trust me," said Harm. "If given the opportunity, she would've told, of that much I'm certain. So... I relented and agreed to meet her that night, alone. I told Mac I had to meet with a former client. I felt about two inches tall, Bud. I hated lying to her, but there was no way I could have told her the truth, not like that anyway."
"Did she buy it?" Bud asked.
"Yeah, she didn't really question it," answered Harm, taking a sip of his soft drink. "She offered to go along since I seemed uptight about it, which of course I had to refuse. I'm glad she didn't press the issue, I'm sure if she had, she would've found a way to break me that night."
Bud sighed. "So what did the witch want? And don't tell me she decided you're too good to pass up and wants to have a secret rendezvous twice a year."
"That's what I was thinking the whole way into DC that night," said Harm, "I was just sure she wanted to coerce me into some sick love triangle or something, but she didn't. Well, she probably did want to do that, but that's not why she wanted to meet with me that night. Nope...that's not why..." His voice trailed off as he lost himself in the memories once again.
Several minutes passed before Bud broke the heavy silence. "Harm, we're not getting any younger here," Bud urged. "Spit it out so we can deal with it before our wives get back. God Harriet will kill me if she ever finds out."
"Yeah, sorry," said Harm. "It's hard to talk about. Anyway, I got to the bar and she was there. She offered to buy me a drink which I initially refused but she insisted, so I gave in figuring the sooner I played her little game, the sooner I could get the hell out of there. We sat down at a corner table, and I basically told her to spill it, whatever 'it' was. And she did." He stopped speaking and began rubbing his hands over his face, a habit Bud knew he only exercised when he was incredibly tense. Harm took another deep breath, and began to speak, finding the words failed him.
"Whatever it is can't be that bad," Bud encouraged. "Go on."
"It is that bad," said Harm. "Annie's pregnant." He slumped against the back of his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He hadn't told anyone until now, and having to say those words made his stomach churn.
"Oh shit!" was the only thing Bud could think of to say for a full minute until he asked. "Is it yours?"
"She claims it is," said Harm. "Says she got pregnant in Mexico and it has to be mine, but I've got a million doubts about the whole thing. I mean, I know I was pretty drunk...all right, I was officially three sheets to the wind, but even at that I could swear I was more careful than that."
"Harm..." Bud sighed. "I don't even know what to say about all this." He shook his head and dropped his pizza on his plate. "Are you going to have a paternity test?"
"Oh, you better believe I am!" exclaimed Harm. "She claims it's mine, claims her husband hasn't touched her in forever, but the wording of one comment she made set even more doubt into this disaster for me. She said she wouldn't have said anything to me about it if she 'didn't believe I was the father'. You and I both know that a sentence like that means there's some doubt involved, and damn it Bud I'm just not going to sit back and accept her word on this!"
"Good for you!" Bud cheered. "So what are you going to do?"
Harm sighed, "I have no idea."
"So I guess that's where Dr. Bud comes in," Bud sighed. "I think you have to tell Mac, now, before it's too late. I know I originally advised against it, but this is a different ballgame now. If you tell then Annie can't hold it over your head, like I know she's doing because that woman is nuts."
Harm replied with a half-hearted chuckle, "Nuts doesn't begin to cover it. I...I keep going over it all in my mind, listing all the reasons for and against telling Mac. I know the longer I keep it from her, the worse it'll be when she finds out, but it's not going to be good no matter when that happens. Annie assures me she won't hold it over my head or manipulate me with it, but she of course is, and it's probably just a matter of time before she drags Mac into it. In fact, there was a close call with that this morning, way too close."
"What happened this morning?" Bud asked, his curiosity and concern peaked.
"Annie called while I was in the shower," said Harm. "Called my cell phone and Mac took the call."
"Ohh," Bud groaned. "Any fireworks? I know it can't be too bad or you wouldn't be here to tell me about it."
"It went about as well as could be expected," replied Harm. "Annie told Mac that she thought she had called my 'private number', which of course set Mac off. When Mac asked her what she wanted, she fed her some line of crap about Josh wanting to talk to me about Naval Aviation for a project he was doing for school. I'm not sure Mac totally bought it, but it was enough to keep the conversation short, thank God."
"Did she call you again?" Bud asked. "Or was that aviation thing really true?"
"No, it was a total ruse," said Harm. "I called her after I got out of the shower, while Mac was getting dressed. She wanted to tell me that she's got an appointment for a sonogram next week and since I agreed to go to those-"
"Whoa!" Bud interjected. "Go back. You agreed to go to her sonograms?"
"I had to," insisted Harm, realizing how unbelievable the whole thing must have sounded to Bud. "She wanted me to agree to all kinds of things - being her Lamaze coach, going with her to all her appointments and stuff, and when I kept refusing, she grabbed her phone and threatened to call Mac right then and there. I was desperate, so we worked out a compromise."
"You wouldn't be desperate if you told the truth," Bud sighed. "You have to tell her, Harm. If it comes from you, like the Meg thing, you two can work it out."
"This is nothing like what happened with Meg," Harm sighed. "Even if it was, Mac's not the same woman she was then. This would rip her to pieces, Bud, I can't tell her, as much as I want to sometimes."
Bud thought about that. The Colonel Mackenzie that had once been Major Mackenzie was not as hard as she was when they'd met. Marriage, children, they softened her, and her illness...that made her a lot more vulnerable than she was. Maybe Harm was right; he knew her best after all.
"You're right," Bud capitulated. "So what are you going to do? What was the 'compromise.'?"
"I agreed to go to two sonograms with her," he answered. "I told her she can call my cell phone - not the house phone, ever - if there's a major emergency, and that while I don't plan on being present for the birth, I want that paternity test run as soon as possible afterwards, and I want to see the results for myself, regardless of what they show."
"What if the baby is yours?" Bud asked. "What then?"
Harm picked up his drink, but was too upset to take a swallow. "If it is, then I'll do the right thing."
"Which would be?" Bud pressed.
"Shit," he muttered under his breath, clearly sickened over the whole matter. "I'd be as good a father to him or her as I could be, given the circumstances. I can't even begin to figure out how Mac would accept that baby, you know? Of all the cruel things life has thrown at her, that would be the ultimate blow - me having a baby with another woman while Mac's fighting that stupid disease and wants us to have another baby so badly it's breaking her heart." Saying those words reminded Harm of his recent discussion with Mac. He hadn't filled Bud in on that piece of good news and heaven knew he was entitled. "Did I tell you we decided to try for one more?"
Bud was glad the subject was changing. He was disillusioned with Harm for the indiscretion, but he honestly and rightfully believed that his mentor and friend only wanted to do what was best for his family after making such a terrible mistake.
"No," Bud replied. "Is that safe? I mean considering."
"Her doctor advised her of the risks," said Harm. "But she and I talked a lot about it and all. I'm pretty apprehensive after what happened before, but it means so much to her to at least try and see what might come of it, so against my better judgment, I agreed, with a few stipulations, though."
"Enlighten me," Bud requested, starting to eat his pizza again.
"I told her we have to wait until the doctor gives us the all-clear," said Harm, picking up his pizza, which was now stone cold. "That she needs to talk with him about other ways to deal with the disease, and that if anything even remotely close to what happened that one Friday night happens again, if what we're doing hurts her at all, we're done trying and we look very seriously into doing the hysterectomy."
"So you two haven't...since that night," Bud asked.
"Well..." hesitated Harm, swallowing a bite of pizza. "We weren't supposed to for at least another 4 weeks, but we got carried away on our anniversary. Stupid..."
"She seems okay, though. That's encouraging, right?" Bud asked hopeful.
Harm nodded. "Yeah, I guess. She was in a lot of pain this morning, though, no doubt a direct result of last night. It wasn't as bad as it has been in times past, though, which is good. Still, the fact that she was in any pain makes me feel terrible. We...we knew better than to do what we did, we just got so caught up in the moment. I'm not even sure exactly when things took that turn, I mean we even said after we got home from dinner that we couldn't do what we really wanted to because she wasn't healed enough, and then we did it anyway. I knew better, but..."
"But..." Bud urged. "I had to hear the bad stuff; I get to hear the good stuff too."
Harm smiled a little bit. "Okay...I don't know, I mean I knew better, my brain knew we weren't supposed to do that, but when it came right down to it, I just couldn't say no. She looked gorgeous, just gorgeous, and she actually initiated things and I just...I don't know, I hesitated, though, I did."
"How...I'm sorry I shouldn't be asking this, but knowing how protective, how over protective you can be, I'm wondering..." Bud blushed and studied his crust.
"Go ahead," urged Harm. "Nothing I can say you haven't heard before, Bud."
"How'd she do it?" he asked. "How did she...get you to...uh, crack?" He was redder that the tomato in his salad.
Harm blushed just a touch as he recounted the circumstances of the previous evening. "She'd kill me if she ever found out you knew so we'll say this, Mac knew just the right things to do and say to me last night. That and the look on her face when I told her that I didn't think it would be a good idea, did me in. She was so gentle and sweet and, long story short, one minute I was in the tub enjoying a relaxing massage and the next thing I know we're about to go at it on the bathroom floor."
"About to?" Bud asked.
"Yeah," replied Harm. "I hesitated, I was afraid of hurting her."
"But, I know there's a but," Bud said.
"Mm-hmm," said Harm. "She was sure it'd be okay. She wanted it so badly; I didn't have the heart to tell her no, even though I should have for any number of reasons. So, I...went ahead, and I know she knew I was holding back. I hated that, but..."
"But you did it anyway, and for the most part it worked out. Didn't it?" Bud asked, trying not to put any more guilt on his friend.
When Harm nodded, Bud said, "I'm glad for you, Harm. And I'm here for you through this. You know?"
"I know, Bud" he said. "And it means more to me than you could ever know. This could get rough, but knowing that you're here for me makes it just a little easier."
Meanwhile, Harriet, Mac and Lucy had finished their appointment and were now headed in the direction of the carousel. Lucy loved to ride it so Mac had bought her enough tickets for three rides around and stood with Harriet watching her.
"So," Harriet asked. "How was the anniversary last night?"
"It was...nice," answered Mac, a little smile creeping into her expression. "Nice..."
"I know that look," Harriet beamed. "What did he do? Did he get you stuck in the elevator again?"
"No," Mac chuckled. "Nothing like that. He took me to dinner at Constantine's, and we danced and he had them play special songs for me, it was so romantic."
"What songs? Cliché ones like "Wind Beneath my Wings" or something original?" Harriet pressed. "Come on I need details." She was practically bouncing.
"Calm down, girl," laughed Mac. "No, not "Wind Beneath My Wings," he was far more creative than that. The first one was "Because You Love Me;" you remember the country one that was our wedding song? Then after dinner we danced to "The Woman Behind The Man." I cried, it was so romantic and he was so sweet the entire night."
"That was nice. Did he get you a present too or just the dinner?" she pressed.
"He did get me a present," she added, holding her right hand out towards Harriet. "See?"
"Wow girl! That's gorgeous. That's a mother's ring isn't it?" Harriet asked. "Why are the stones so close together?"
"Mm-hmm, it is," answered Mac. "I've always loved yours and Harm knew that, so he got me one. He had it custom made with the stone spacing a lot smaller than usual because..." She looked up at her friend and smiled, "We're going to try to have one more baby."
Harriet didn't know what to say to that. She knew the extent of Mac's condition from the news she and Harm had shared with Bud and herself. She remembered holding her friend when she confessed that the doctor said more children would be nearly impossible so the news came as a bit of a shock. "But...I thought it would be impossible. Or at least...Harm told Bud..." Harriet stopped. She wasn't sure how to say this to her hopeful friend.
Mac nodded, knowing what Harriet was trying to say. "I know," she said. "I talked with the doctor about it the other day when I went for a consultation about having another laparoscopy, and he said it's a big risk, our chances aren't too good and his medical recommendation is still to have a hysterectomy and be done with the whole mess. However, on a personal level he said he understands why we feel we need to at least try and see if we're able to have another baby, and as long as we both understand all the risks involved, he's willing to support us."
"How does Harm feel about it? He's said to Bud that there's no way he'll get you pregnant again and having another baby isn't as important to him as you are...he's said it countless time," Harriet sighed. "To both of us. Did he change his mind?"
"Not without a ton of begging on my part," answered Mac. "But yes, he did. Well, he did but he put several conditions on it: We have to wait till the doctor says I'm healed enough from the miscarriage, I had to talk with the doctor about what the options were with regards to managing the endometriosis, which I just did, and the one he was most adamant about was if trying again hurts me physically at any point, we stop and look very seriously at the hysterectomy. I decided that all sounded fair, especially knowing how he really feels about it, knowing that he..." her voice trailed off a touch. "He really doesn't want to do it, but he's doing it for me."
"He loves you very much," Harriet smiled. "You are so lucky. Do you think you'll be able to handle...I mean after the last time?"
"Well consider last night…" Mac began, that wicked smile curling onto her lips again.
"What about last night? You didn't…did you?" Harriet asked.
Mac nodded and smiled. "Yeah, it wasn't smart, I mean we both knew better, but it happened anyway."
"And? Are you considering hysterectomy?" Harriet asked. "How are you?"
"I'm okay now," said Mac, waving to Lucy as the child came around on the carousel again. She noticed out of the corner of her eyes, that little girl was leaning her head against the mane of the horse she road on. She made a mental note to ask her about it and continued talking. "I had some nasty cramps this morning, which he knows about, and a little spotting, which he doesn't know about because it wasn't bad enough to tell him, but for now the operation is on the back burner. I know I'll have to have it eventually, but not yet, I'm just...not ready yet."
"I understand," Harriet nodded. "So...before we go over why the doctor wants to even do such a thing, let's talk about the rest of last night. How did you convince Commander straight laced to bend the rules?"
"It was as difficult as you might think," replied Mac. "But you've got to understand that neither one of us planned to let things go that far. When we got home from dinner, even talked about how sad it was that we couldn't, you know, do what we always did on our anniversary. We knew the limitations, but somehow..."
"Somehow?" Harriet pressed.
Mac sighed and continued. "Somehow, one minute I've got him in the bathtub with the special bath gels and different sponges and all, and I'm working on his feet, and the next thing I know he's out of the tub, my hot little nightie is on the other side of the room and we're on the floor about to go for it...just about, anyway."
Harriet's jaw dropped. "I knew those gels would be good for something? What do you mean just about?"
"He...wasn't too sure," said Mac. "I mean, he was sure he wanted to, but at the last second he froze up. I'm laying there after pretty much throwing myself at him, which I'll never understand why I did knowing that we weren't supposed to do that, I'm all set and ready and waiting, and he just stops..."
"Just like that?" Harriet sighed. "God love that man."
"I know." agreed Mac. "I managed to convince him that it'd be okay, that he wouldn't hurt me and he want on ahead with it, but even at that he was holding back. A lot."
"Oh," Harriet sighed. "That's so sweet. But he did uh, finish the job?"
"Ooooooh yeah," laughed Mac, nodding and smiling. "It hurt some, but not enough to ask him to stop, and not enough to ruin the night. We'd never done it on the bathroom floor before, so that made it pretty special even if it was 'forbidden'."
"I'm happy for you," Harriet said hugging her friend. "But if last night was so wonderful, why don't you tell me why your eyes aren't shining? You still in pain?"
"No, the pain's gone, thankfully," answered Mac, looking at Lucy come around again. "It's...there was a phone call this morning that's bugging me."
"Is something wrong?" Harriet asked. "Who was the call from?"
"Annie Pendry," replied Mac. "You remember Annie, don't you?"
"No one can forget Annie Pendry," Harriet sighed. "What did she want? Harm to talk Josh out of Annapolis again?"
"No," said Mac. "She claimed she needed to talk to Harm about speaking with Josh about naval aviation for a school project, but I think she was feeding me a line of crap because why would she need to call Harm's cell phone, which by the way she thought was his 'private number', for something like that? She was surprised when I was the one who answered his phone, and she didn't tell me the real reason she called, I'm sure she didn't."
"So if you don't think she was telling the truth, why do you think she called?" Harriet asked.
"That's what's bothering me," said Mac. "I don't know. I don't know why she'd call him like that, or why she didn't just call the house phone. I asked her that, by the way, why she didn't call the house, and she said Harm had told her not to because I might be resting and it would disturb me. Ridiculous."
"That does sound like Harm," Harriet sighed. "After the first time you got sick he told us not to call on the house phone."
"I asked him if he'd told her that," stated Mac. "He said yes, he'd asked her to call his phone because he didn't want the house phone ringing and disrupting things, but that...that just doesn't make sense either because people call that phone all the time and I can't think of a time it 'disrupted' anything. I just...something is not right about this whole thing and..."
"And?" Harriet prompted. "Tell me what you're thinking. I know that tone. Do you think she wants to make a move on him?"
Mac looked her friend in the eye. "I think she does...or maybe...maybe - I can't believe I'm saying this - maybe...she all ready did."
"Sarah," Harriet used her given name given the seriousness of the topic. "Do you think she...you told me that Annie and Harm talked in Mexico. Do you think she tried to you know, and that's what's bothering him?"
A wave of panic swept across Mac like the exhaust from a Tomcat afterburner. "I...I never connected the two...oh God, Harriet, what if she tried to...no! No, even if she did, no!"
"I'm not saying that he would...but maybe she pressed and he feels bad about it...Forget I said anything," Harriet waved her hand. "I'm being stupid."
"No you're not," said Mac, "in fact you're making a lot of sense, I mean we know she met up with him in Mexico, we know she's been hung up on him since the day they met..." Mac was rambling on and on, her fears taking over her mind and heart.
"Whoa! Slow down," Harriet instructed. "Even if Annie came on to him, he loves you he wouldn't give into her. What can she give him that you can't?"
"Two months ago," said Mac, conviction mounting in her voice. "A lot! Damn it - I'm not saying he'd do it and I'm not even sure she came on to him, but knowing how she is it wouldn't surprise me in the least. Maybe...maybe she tried to reel him in down there and he refused, but she's not giving up? Yeah, maybe..."
"And maybe you and I are both losing it," Harriet sighed. "I mean has Harm done anything that would suggest he's been..." Harriet didn't even know how to word it. "Not that he did something but I think he'd be guilty even if she tried to do something...Am I making sense?"
Mac nodded. "He's been different since he got back; you and I have talked about that before. I asked him about it last night and he said it was because he saw so many families down there with more kids than they could possibly care for, and all these babies that had such a sad life, and of course knowing how much we want another one, he said it was hard for him to not be able to fix that, to make all those wrongs right. I...I believe him, I mean, why would he lie about that, you know?"
"He wouldn't lie about that," Harriet assured her. "But listen, if this Annie thing is really bothering you, there's probably a reason," Harriet sighed. "I just don't know what it could be."
"Me either," said Mac. "But I'll tell you this much, that witch best not call my husband again on his 'private number' for anything, or I just may be forced to drag her ass behind a barn and teach her a lesson or two!"
"That a girl!" Harriet encouraged. "That's the Marine we love!"
Mac looked at the carousel again and saw it had stopped. Lucy had one more ride left but instead of waiting she slid off her horse and was fast approaching her mother, her face looking paler than before.
"What is it, Luce?" asked Mac as her daughter approached.
"I want to see Daddy," Lucy told her mother and nestled close. "My head is hurting."
"Okay, sweetie," said Mac, feeling the child's forehead. "You don't feel warm. Does your tummy hurt, too?"
She shook her head. "No, just my head. Right here," the child pointed to the side of her head.
"Do you want to sit on a bench with Mommy while I get Uncle Bud and your Daddy or do you want to go up to the Food Court with us?" Harriet asked dropping so she was eye level with the child.
"I wanna go find Daddy," said Lucy, her voice beginning to waver a little bit.
"Here, take Mommy's hand," said Mac, holding her hand out to the little girl. "We'll go find Daddy."
Lucy shook her head and pulled a bit on Mac's leg looking up at her mother with wide blue eyes. Her eyes were dark underneath and looked almost like they'd been bruised.
"You want me to carry you, Baby?" asked Mac. She knew she shouldn't lift that much weight, but at that point she didn't care.
The little girl nodded again and lifted up her arms. "Mac, are you sure it's a good idea?" Harriet asked. "I could do it if..."
"Here, can you take my purse?" asked Mac, holding the bag out towards Harriet before picking Lucy up. "I think I've got her, I'll be okay, it's not too far."
Harriet was skeptical but she knew the mother's instinct to care for ones own child was too strong to listen to reasonable argument. She took the bag and walked next to Sarah and Lucy. About five minutes after they started walking, Lucy had fallen asleep against Mac's shoulder.
"So…you never did tell me why the doctor suggested hysterectomy?" Harriet reminded her one she noticed Lucy was sleeping.
Mac sighed. "Because the endometriosis has progressed," she said. "And when he was examining me the Monday after the miscarriage and I thought I would die right there on the table because of the pain, he said it would be the best option. Obviously, you can tell that I didn't take too readily to that, considering we're now planning on trying to get pregnant again, but like I told you the doctor still feels it'd be the best thing in the long run."
"Did he let Harm stay with you during the exam? A friend of mine uses Dr. Bradley and she says he can be, well, she says he can be very indelicate. I think she sued him for something," Harriet said.
"He let Harm stay," Mac replied. "And I'm not surprised that someone wanted to sue him, he's a jerk but he's also the best endometriosis specialist in the Metro area. For that, I'll take a jerk. Harm called him to task after the exam was over and I was in so much pain, and he'd tried to say it was because I was 'uncooperative'. He changed his tune pretty quick!"
"I would imagine so...I remember the time in Australia when Commander Brumby...let's say forgot you were married," Harriet laughed. "If only Harm broke Mic's jaw instead of Bud's." She laughed. "Speaking of which, don't they..." She pointed to the rest of their brood. "Belong to us?"
Mac looked towards the area Harriet was pointing, and saw Harm chasing DJ around a table, trying to get his sippy cup from him before he could try to toss it over the side of the railing to the ground below, something the tot had done before. "Yep" she said, "they're mine! Let's go rescue Daddy..."
Lucy stirred in her sleep on Mac's shoulder at the word Daddy. "I want to see Daddy, Mommy," she whimpered. "My head is hurting really bad."
"Bud Roberts!" Harriet called in her "mother's voice" when she saw her husband and Jimmy sneaking up on little AJ poised to tickle the five year old.
"Mommy!" exclaimed little AJ, running towards her. "I missed you!"
"Hey," Harriet hugged her son. "Were you a good boy for Daddy?"
Meanwhile Harm, who had managed to secure DJ's cup and hand noticed his wife trailing behind Harriet, carrying Lucy in her arms.
"Yes, Ma'am," he replied. "But DJ was bad, he didn't listen to Uncle Harm like he was supposed to!"
Harriet laughed and looked over at Harm, who with his flailing son tucked under his arm was rapidly making his way towards his wife and daughter.
"What's wrong?" he asked Mac as soon as he was within earshot. "What happened?"
"She says she has a headache," Mac replied. "She wants you."
Harm sat DJ down on the ground, "Sit right there, please," he asked the toddler as he handed him back his sippy cup. "Here's your juice." Turning his attention to his daughter, "Come here, Button," he said, reaching out to take her from her mother. "What's wrong?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.
Lucy buried her forehead in the side of Harm's neck. "My head is hurting," she told him. "I want you to fix it."
It broke his heart to hear her say that. "Well baby, I can't fix it here, but we can go home and Daddy can get you some medicine and lay down with you and take a nap that should make it all better. Do you want to do that?"
She shook her head no and burrowed tighter.
"Okay," he said, holding her a little tighter. "Tell Daddy what you want. What would make you feel better?"
Lucy didn't answer, she just began to cry.
"Hey, hey, shh..." said Harm, gently rubbing his little girl's back. "We need to get her home," he said, turning towards Mac, who was now keeping DJ corralled as best she could in such a wide open space. "If she's coming down with something, I don't want the other kids to get it."
"I don't know..." Mac sighed. "She was fine when she went on the carousel...DJ come back now," she said switching her tone from soft and concerned to sharp and insistent like only a mother could.
The little boy was a good 20 feet away from the group, looking over his shoulder as he ran, almost taunting them to come and get him. Harm would have gone after him, but he didn't want to put Lucy down, so he had to let Mac take care of the boy herself.
Mac of course was still a match for her two year old son. She ran after him and stood glaring at him, hands on her hips. "David Jonathan you have until three to come here. One..." She began counting.
The boy looked at her, daring her to keep counting. He was, after all, Harm's son and as such he had a way of driving Mac crazy sometimes, though she loved him to bits and pieces.
"Two..." she said after about five seconds had passed.
DJ looked at her, knowing that if she got to "Three", he'd find himself strapped into his stroller faster than he could even think about getting away. Slowly, he began to run back towards his mother.
Mac leaned down and took his hand when he reached her. "Good boy," she praised him. "Let's go see Daddy."
"Daddy!" exclaimed the boy, a perfect flyboy smile on his chubby face.
"That's right," Mac said pointing to where Harm and Harriet were comforting Lucy. DJ's smile faded when he saw that, "Mama, Lulu booboo?"
"Yes, Lucy's got a booboo," answered Mac softly. "But we'll go home and she'll be okay. Can you get into your stroller for Mommy, please?"
"Walk!" DJ insisted. "Lulu stwower," he told Mac.
"Oh sweetie," said Mac. "That's very nice that you want to share with your sister like that, but she's too big for your stroller. Do you want to help Mommy push it to the car? Can you be my big helper?"
DJ nodded and walked with Mac to where his father and sister were sitting. Harm looked distressed and Harriet looked worried. "Let's get our things together and go home," Mac said, reaching out to rub her daughter's hair. "You'll feel better then, okay?"
Lucy leaned into her daddy's chest and began to wail again.
"I know, baby, you don't feel good," he said, rocking her gently as he held her close. "We're going to go home and Daddy will make you feel all better, okay?" He hoped he could make good on that last part.
Lucy continued to sniffle in Harm's shirt and clung tighter.
"Come on, Honey," Mac said. "Let's just go to the car. Maybe she'll nap on the way home."
Harm carefully stood up with Lucy. "Sorry we have to cut it short, guys," he said to Bud and Harriet. Then to Mac, "Can you take her for a sec while I put my coat on?"
"No problem," said Harriet. "I just hope she feels better. We have to get going anyway."
Mac reached out and took Lucy from Harm. The child battled a bit at being taken from her father's strong arms but soon settled into her mother's chest, forehead against Mac's neck. "Harm?"
"What?" he asked as he zipped the front of his bomber jacket.
"I think she's getting warm," Mac told him. Lucy's forehead felt warmer than it had before.
Harm reached his hand up to touch Lucy's forehead. "Oh yeah, she's warmer than before. Come on, we've got to get her home."
"Call us later and let us know how she is," Bud said, as he helped AJ with his jacket. "See you Monday."
"Okay, thanks Bud," said Harm, looking at his friend in a way that said he meant that thanks in more ways than one.
"Do you think we should give her the Children's Tylenol now or wait until we get home?" Mac asked.
"Better wait," said Harm. "You know how upset she gets when she gets sick to her stomach; we don't want that in the car."
"Mama, go!" DJ exclaimed, deciding he'd been patient far too long.
"We're going, Honey," Mac replied. To Harm, "Okay, but I don't want to let her temp get too high." She was starting to worry; he could tell by the way she was fidgeting.
"She'll be okay till we get home," he said as he took Lucy back into his arms and draped her jacket over the top of her.
Harm carried Lucy while Mac filled the stroller with their purchases and helped DJ steer it through the corridors. They reached their truck and Mac secured DJ in his seat before securing the packages in the back. Harm stayed with Lucy, adjusting her on his hip to open her door and put her in her booster seat.
"Okay Button, Daddy needs you to sit in your seat."
Lucy clung tighter if that was possible, "No," she whimpered. "I wanna stay with you."
Harm sighed, his heart breaking over Lucy's discomfort. "You know you have to sit in your seat when we ride in the car, Baby. We'll be home really soon and Daddy will carry you into the house and we'll lie down on the couch together, just you and me, and it'll make you feel better, okay?"
Lucy's grip relented a bit. Before she let go she looked at him with glassy blue eyes, "Promise?"
He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, noticing how warm it was. "Promise."
Both Rabb children fell asleep fairly quickly once the car got underway. Harm drove faster than normal, but within a safe speed considering everything he loved was in that car. Mac continued to fidget with her wedding ring turning around every two minutes to check on her little girl.
"She feels horrible, Harm," Mac told him sadly, eyes looking at their daughter.
He nodded. "She'll be okay, Babe. Kids catch things; it's all part of growing up."
"This came on her so fast though. She was fine before I put her on that carousel. And when we left for you she was cool as a cucumber." She turned her mother's ring this time.
"She's had fevers hit her like that before," said Harm. "Remember that one when she was about 3 or so, I swear within 5 minutes she went from fine to firecracker."
"And do you remember what a wreck I was then?" she asked. "If it wasn't for you I'd never have gotten through that."
He reached over, his thumb caressing the back of her left hand as he held it in his right. "You did better than you give yourself credit for. Try not to worry too much, Mac. I know it's hard, I mean I'm worried about her too, but we'll get her home and give her some Tylenol and I'll lay with her on the couch like I promised her, and if she's not better by morning, we'll call the pediatrician."
"What if it's like that time with DJ? He went from fine to the PICU in 10 hours. This is only the third time she's been sick and I hate it, I really hate it," she declared as if he didn't. "How can you be so calm about it?"
"I'm only calm on the outside, sweetie," he said. "Inside, I'm just as concerned as you are, believe me. I just find I deal better with things like this if I keep cool about them, when I can anyway."
"Like this morning," she asked. "It was like..." She stopped and turned to check Lucy again.
"Hmm?" asked Harm. "Like what?"
"Like...like it was part of the drill. Like...ignore me, I'm just getting emotional."
He couldn't ignore her, he knew something was up and he needed to know what. "I don't want to ignore you, Mac," he said. "If something I did didn't seem right to you, please, I want to know about it. Did I seem like I didn't care that you were having pain? Is that it?"
"I know you cared, Honey. But it was like you were flying on the autopilot, no big deal, same old, same old. I'm thinking that this thing is becoming a terrible burden on you. I didn't imagine those knots in your back and shoulders last night."
"No, the knots were there, I can't deny that," he agreed. "But..." He struggled to find the right words. "The situation, yeah maybe it's wearing on me, but that doesn't, by any means whatsoever, mean that you are a burden. Of course, he knew there was so much more weighing on him than just Mac's illness.
"If this gets to be too much for you, I want you to tell me," she said. "I've been really needy and clingy and I'm sorry. You don't ever go out with Bud and AJ as much as you used to."
"That's not your fault though" he said. "Life's just gotten busy, none of us have the time for socializing like we used to. Why should I get to say that this is 'too much' for me when you don't get that luxury? Why should I be able to go out and have fun and escape it when you don't get to do that?"
"Because this is not your problem," she replied. "And it's not always bad, I have a lot of days when I'm fine, but I have been thinking about something...I know now is not the time to discuss it but...I'm thinking about resigning my commission."
"What?" he exclaimed a bit louder than intended. "You're not serious, are you?"
"I am," Mac nodded. "I want to spend more time at home with the kids. We've been lucky with trips and TADs, but...we never know that both of us won't be sent out of town at the same time," she reminded him.
"No, but that's no reason to resign your commission, Mac," he said. "We talked about all this before Lucy was born, and when you transferred to the SecNav's office. We talked about how we'd handle it if we both had to be gone at the same time, and I didn't think any of that had changed."
"I'm not set on it, yet," she told him. "But if I decide to do it, it's not because I have to, it's because I want to."
He sighed. "Okay. We need to talk more about this later, though. Anything this big we need to decide on together, right?"
"Right," she agreed. "I just want to let you know I was thinking about it."
"Nothing wrong with that, babe" he replied as he pulled into the driveway of their home and parked the truck. "You wanna get him, I'll get her?"
"Yeah," Mac sighed. "She's getting pretty heavy for me to carry around."
"You didn't hurt yourself carrying her through the mall, did you?" he asked as he opened the back door to get Lucy.
"It pulled a bit," Mac replied. "My back is still sore, but she's worth it you know?"
"Of course she is," he answered. "But you have to be careful...granted we let that notion fly right out the window last night, but still."
"Last night was worth it too," she replied and removed DJ from his car seat. "Come on Little Sailor," she crooned hoping he'd stay asleep. "We're home."
Lucy stirred when she felt Harm's touch, "Daddy?" She half whimpered, half moaned.
"Ssh, I've got you, Button," he said softly. "We're home. Your head still hurt?"
"Mmhmm," she said. "All of me does."
"Okay," he said, rubbing her back a bit. "Let's go inside and get some medicine, and then you and Daddy will lay down and rest, just like I promised."
He carried her inside and took her to her room. Mac had put DJ in his bed and returned to check on her daughter. "Here's the Tylenol, Harm. See if she'll take it."
"Thanks," he said, taking the bottle from her and shaking out two chewable tablets. "Lucy Bear, I need you to take this for me, okay?"
"I don't like those," she told him.
This was going to be a battle. "I know you don't, Luce," he said. "But they'll make your head feel better. Will you take them for me, please?"
"I don't need those," she whimpered. "You can fix it."
Ouch. How could he get her to understand that she needed the medicine if she wanted to feel better? Then it dawned on him.
"Do you want some juice instead?" he asked her. When she nodded, he discreetly slipped the tablets he was holding into Mac's hand as she went to get their little girl some juice. They sometimes had to resort to grinding up the Tylenol and hiding it in a couple swallows worth of juice to get her to take it. Sneaky, but effective.
"After you drink your juice," he said to Lucy as she sat in his lap, leaning against his chest. "Daddy will sing your song, would you like that?"
Mac got Lucy her favorite juice and ground up the tablets. She returned to Lucy's room and handed Harm the cup just before he asked her the question. "Do you want Mommy to help you put your PJs on before Daddy sings to you?"
The little girl nodded as she took the juice cup from her daddy.
She finished the juice in a few gulps, then Mac leaned over to pry her off of Harm's chest. "Let's get you changed Sweetie," Mac told her. "You'll be more comfortable. Harm, can you get me the thermometer?"
Harm retrieved the ear scan thermometer from the medicine cabinet and rinsed out Lucy's glass. He went and got the extra blanket from the blanket box along with a pillow and got the couch ready. Once that was done he went back to Lucy's room and knocked on the door.
"You ready to lay down with me, sweetheart?" he asked Lucy.
Mac opened the door to let him in. She'd put on Lucy's Pooh PJs and had given her stuffed bear. "Get her temp first, Harm," Mac told him. Lucy had all ready lifted her arms up to signal Harm to carry her.
"I'll hold her while you get it," offered Harm, reaching down to pick up his daughter.
Mac nodded and placed the wand inside Lucy's ear. She pressed the button and looked at the readout. "101.2," Mac told him. "What about a cold cloth?"
Lucy just blinked her eyes a couple of times, too tired to say anything.
"Sure," said Harm. "I'm gonna take her out there, try and get her settled."
"Okay, you feel better Sweetheart," Mac said and kissed her hot forehead.
Harm carried Lucy out to the couch and sat down. He situated himself on the sofa then pulled her back against his chest, letting her rest her head against him. "I love you, Daddy," she said into the material. "I want to go to sleep but I can't cause it hurts."
"Why don't you close you eyes" he said. "And I'll sing you your song?"
She closed her eyes as Harm stroked her hair and began to sing Sarah Smile very softly. In five minutes, Lucy was asleep.
Mac listened to Harm singing to their daughter, stroking her hair. That was the song he'd sang to her when Lucy was kicking hard at night, it was the one he sang that awful night on the bathroom floor. When he stopped singing she approached the pair and lifting his feet so they could rest in her lap, she said, "Here's the cloth."
He smiled. "Kind of don't need it anymore," he whispered. "But thanks. How are you feeling?"
"I'm tired," she said. "And I'm worried about my baby girl. I think we should call her doctor today, maybe we should...I don't know how to make her better."
Mac was such a concerned mother that was just one of the many things he loved about her. "Why don't we wait and see how she feels when she wakes up?" suggested Harm. "If she's not any better, we'll call."
"Okay, it's Saturday anyway," she sighed and started to rub the bottom of his foot. "Did you call your mother call today?"
"No, I sure didn't," he said. "Was I supposed to?"
"I thought maybe she'd have called with information about Grams," Mac said, and continued to rub his foot. "How's that feel?"
"Mmmm... great," he said. "No, she hasn't called and I didn't think to call her, but I will after the little one here wakes up, or you can call her if you want to."
"Did you check our messages?" Mac asked moving to his other foot.
"Nope," he replied. "Didn't even think about it when we got home."
Mac turned and stretched to see if the machine light was blinking. "The light is flashing," she told him. "Lift up your feet and I'll play it back."
He did as she asked, allowing her to slide off the couch. She went to the answering machine and pressed the playback button.
"You have three messages," the robotic voice said. "First message. Hi, Honey, it's Mom. Call me at Grams when you get this."
"Next message. Commander Rabb, its General Cresswell. I need to see you Monday at 0800. It's urgent."
"Next message. Harm, Sarah, its Mom again. Remember to call us. Bye."
"I wonder what the General wants with me that he'd call at home on a Saturday?" pondered Harm.
"However I guess a more pressing matter would be calling my mom. You want to do that? I don't want to wake her," he said, nodding down at Lucy.
"Sure, Honey," she replied dialing the phone. "Do you want to talk?"
"If she needs to talk to me, I will" he answered. "Otherwise, tell her I'll check with her after awhile."
"Is she any warmer?" she asked nodding to Lucy.
Harm felt the child's face gently as she lay sleeping on his chest. "Doesn't feel like it to me, but even with the Tylenol she's probably not going to cool off much as long as she's laying on top of me. I don't want to put her down, though. I promised her I'd hold her, so I will. She'll be fine."
She answered on the third ring. "Hi, Mom, it's Sarah," Mac greeted. "We just got your messages. How's Grams?" A pause. "Well that's good right?" Another pause. "We're fine. Lucy's coming down with something we think but Harm's cuddling with her so she's doing all right now." Yet another pause, "When's Grams coming home?" A beat. "Well that's good," she replied. When Trish asked to talk to Harm, Mac sighed, "Hold on. Honey, she wants to talk to you."
He shifted Lucy just enough so he could get the phone against his ear. "Okay," he said, reaching out for the handset.
"Hi, Honey," Trish greeted. "I hear you have a sick baby over there."
"Yeah, I do" he said, keeping his voice down. "She's asleep for the time being, though. What's up on your end? How's Grams?"
"She's doing better. They say it was some kind of chemical imbalance. They're keeping her until tomorrow just to be safe," Trish replied. "I'm sorry I scared you last night. I hope I didn't ruin your anniversary."
"No, not at all," he said. "I'm glad you called, I always like to know when anything happens with Grams. Are you and Frank staying in Belleville much longer?"
"Only a few more days," she replied. "There is such a difference between yesterday and today, anyway, you know your grandmother, doesn't want a fuss made over her," Trish replied. "Is Sarah still there?"
"Yeah" he answered. "You want to speak at her again?"
"No, no," Trish said. "I just wanted to know how she's been doing. I ask and she says fine. How is she?" Trish was very concerned about her daughter in law, not only for Sarah's sake, but her son's as well.
Harm glanced around and saw Mac was in the kitchen, relatively out of earshot. "She's doing well" he said, "all things considered, I suppose. The last couple of weeks have been pretty hard on her, but she's better now."
"You don't sound sure of that," Trish replied. "Is the pain getting worse?"
"It's more frequent," he replied. "We're managing."
"Good, I'm glad," Trish replied. "Now what's wrong with my grandbaby? She almost never gets sick."
"We're not sure," he said, looking down at Lucy still sleeping soundly. "We were at the mall today and she complained of a headache, and by the time we got home she said all of her hurt, so we gave her some Tylenol and I'm laying here on the couch with her. Probably just a bug, I mean all kids get sick sometimes."
"Yes they do," Trish sighed. "I just don't like to hear one of my babies doesn't feel well. Tell her Grandma and Grandpa love her okay? And kiss DJ and Sarah for us."
"Will do, Mom," he said. "Give Grams and Frank our love, okay?"
"I will. We'll come see you soon, okay?" Trish asked.
"That'd be great," he answered. "Talk to you later, I love you."
"I love you too," Trish replied. "Bye now."
"Bye, mom." He pressed the button on the phone and laid it on the floor beside the couch.
"Feel better now?" Mac asked as she rejoined her husband handing him a glass of Iced tea.
"Yeah" he replied, taking the glass from her. "Grams is doing better, should be going home tomorrow."
"That's good news," she replied. "Do you want to put her in bed? That's not a great position for you."
She thought for a moment. "I promised her I'd lay out here with her, though. If she wakes up in her bed, she'll go bananas."
Mac smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him on the lips, "Have I told you lately what a great Dad you are?"
He smiled in return, masking the twinge of guilt in his heart. "Not unless you count just now."
She ran a gentle hand down his cheek, "I love you."
He took her hand and gently kissed the back. "I love you, too."
Harm pulled into the driveway Monday evening after a particularly tough day at the office. Two senior attorneys were out sick, which meant the docket was ten times as full. The low point of the day, however, came during his meeting with the General regarding the urgent phone message from the weekend. He was being sent away again, this time only to Philadelphia, but still the timing stunk and he didn't want to go.
He opened the door and was met with the smell of roast chicken and garlic mashed potatoes. "Hey, I'm home," he called tiredly.
"We're in here," Mac called from DJ's room.
"Hey, Babe," he greeted. "How was your day?"
"Busy," she answered. She was a legal advisor to the SecNav, which kept her as busy as anything she did at JAG, but the travel schedule was far easier on her. "I think I spent a grand total of 12 minutes at my desk today, the rest of it, take your pick between the SevNav's office, the board room, the library and the bathroom."
"Bathroom?" he queried.
"As in too much coffee," she laughed, knowing he was worried about her. "Way too much coffee!"
"That's not good for you, Marine," he scolded gently. "How's my big man?" he asked reaching out for DJ.
"He's fine," said Mac as she tossed the child's shoes onto the floor beside his bed. "He and Lucy helped me mash the potatoes for dinner, didn't you, big boy?"
"Mash," DJ squealed and smiled.
"How's Lucy?" Harm asked. The little girl had perked up Sunday and had gone to school, but Harm was still concerned as was Mac.
"She seems okay today," answered Mac. "I talked with her teacher and the school nurse to let them know what happened Saturday. They kept her somewhat still at recess and said if she felt sick at all she could go lie down in the nurse's office, but she did great. I hope she's over whatever it was."
"Me too," he sighed. "Listen, I have something to tell you. Can we go in the kitchen?"
"Is everything okay at work?" asked Mac as she opened the oven door to check on the chicken.
"Yeah," he sighed. "Except the General is sending me to the Philadelphia Navy Yard for a few days. I leave tonight."
"Tonight?" exclaimed Mac. "What's the urgency?"
"Sexual harassment complaint by a civilian," he sighed. "She claims a Petty Officer off the USS Meadowbrook made a move on her, tried to proposition her to have sex. Cresswell wants it handled ASAP."
"I see," she said. "How long will you be gone?"
"Couple days," Harm replied. "I hope that I'll get some time to see Grams while I'm there."
"That'd be nice, yeah," said Mac, knowing how much Harm wanted to see his grandmother. "I'll manage here just fine as long as you're back before my next cycle starts."
"Those are pretty unpredictable though," he sighed. "I'll do my best to wrap it up, but you call Harriet and Bud for help if you need to."
"I will" she assured him. "Can you go help the kids wash up for dinner, please? It's just about ready."
"Do you want me to tell Lucy?" he asked. Lucy hated it when he was away.
Mac sighed. "Probably better, it's not like she won't know you're gone."
Harm nodded and went to Lucy's room where she was playing with DJ. "Hi, Button. Let's get washed up okay?"
"Okay, Daddy," said the little girl. "I feel better today. My head and the rest of me, too."
"I'm glad," he smiled and walked behind his children as he ushered them to the bathroom. "Lucy," he said as he lifted her to the sink, "Daddy has to go away for a few days."
"I don't want you to go away," she said as he chin began to quiver.
"I know, and I don't want to go, but sometimes Daddy has to go away," he told her. "Don't cry."
"Are you going very far away this time?" she asked through her sniffles as she looked up at her father.
"No, I'm only going to Pennsylvania, near where Great Grandma lives," Harm replied. "I should be back in less than a week." He put her down and lifted DJ up.
"Daddy bye bye?" he asked and Harm nodded. "I'm going to need both of you to make me promises okay?"
Lucy nodded and continued to cry. For a 5 year old she possessed a remarkable ability to keep her crying in check most of the time, but when it came to her daddy leaving, she fell apart every time.
"Okay," he set DJ down and helped him dry his hand. Then he knelt in front of Lucy and wiped her tears with his thumb, "I'm going to need you to help Mommy and take care of her for me, okay? Can you be Daddy's helpers and do that?"
"Okay," she said, giving her daddy a hug. "I'll help take care of mommy and DJ, too. I'll be good, I promise."
"That's my girl," he smiled. "Ready for some dinner?" he asked keeping his voice upbeat. It broke his heart to see his babies cry and know he caused it, even inadvertently.
"Uh-huh," she said as the three headed towards the dining room. "We're having mashed potatoes, and DJ and I helped mommy make them!"
"I heard," Harm smiled as they reached the table. He lifted DJ and put him in his seat. "I can't wait to try them."
After dinner, the children were sent off to play again while Mac put the dishes in the sink to soak and Harm went to the bedroom to throw a few things together. He had to leave the house in less than an hour.
"I'm going to miss you," said Mac as she laid a shirt into the suitcase.
"I know," he told her. "I'm going to miss you too. But I won't be gone very long."
She nodded. "I suppose one can safely assume no one else could have taken this case?"
"They want someone who's good with the press, just in case," he replied. "That and I chose this case. I had my choice and I chose this one."
"Grams?" asked Mac, figuring that's why he'd want to go to Pennsylvania.
"Partly, also I had absolutely no desire to be on a Jagman investigation in country in Iraq," he replied.
"Oh, God no!" agreed Mac. It was bad enough he had to go to anywhere at all, but she knew this was a lot better than if he'd been sent to Iraq.
"That's why it's Pennsylvania," he replied. "I'm going to have to worry about Cresswell though. I'm not sure he'll be as sympathetic as AJ was when it comes to in country investigations," he replied.
"They're two very different creatures, aren't they?" asked Mac, tossing a couple pair of socks into the suitcase as Harm pulled uniforms from the closet, one at a time, and laid on the bed the ones he needed to pack. Between two sets of dress blues was what appeared to be an empty hanger. He reached for it to put it back in the closet, and realized it wasn't empty at all. It held a pair of his suntan pants, clean and pressed, but no shirt. He was puzzled for a split second, until he remembered what happened to that shirt. It was the shirt he'd worn that awful night in Mexico, the shirt that had Annie's nasty pink lipstick on the collar, the shirt he'd hidden from Mac the day he came home...and forgotten about until now.
Hastily, he took the partial uniform and went to put it back in the closet, hoping Mac didn't notice.
No such luck. "Honey, what happened to the shirt that goes with those pants?" she asked.
"Huh?" he replied, deciding, for lack of a better instant response, to play dumb.
"The shirt to that set of pants," she pointed at the lonely pants. "Where is it?"
"Oh, that," he said, looking at the pants in his hand. "Good question, must have gotten lost at the cleaners. I'll check with them when I get back home, wouldn't be the first time they messed my uniforms up." He felt like the slimiest worm on the earth as he returned the pants to the closet. If circumstances were different right then, if he had the time, he would've gladly come clean about Annie then and there just to get it over with and get the monkey off his back. He thought back for a second to where that shirt was at, and it didn't take him long to remember. He didn't have time to try and get to it just then, not to mention Mac was right there, but he made a mental note to dig it out as soon as he got back from Pennsylvania.
"Probably," she sighed. "They lost my most comfortable skirt once, never did get it back," she laughed. "Well, no harm. How many pairs of boxers and socks do you think you'll need?"
"A weeks worth," he answered. "Don't plan to be gone that long, but just in case."
"Okay," she replied. "I hope you aren't gone that long, you're birthday is next week and I have a surprise for you."
"Do you now?" he asked, breaking away from the packing to embrace his wife. "Will we be 'allowed' by then to try and out do our anniversary, medically speaking?"
"No," she replied truthfully. "Not until Thanksgiving, but it didn't hurt the last time."
He looked her in the eye. "Mac, you know that's not entirely true. Remember the next morning?"
"I do, but that morning was worth every second of the previous night," she replied leaning up to kiss him.
"Mac…" he began.
"Ssh," she hushed him. "You said it yourself, it was too beautiful. Now finish packing, you know how long it takes you to get out the door for TADs."
"Okay," he said with a little smile and another gentle kiss. "What are the kids doing? They've been a little too quiet for comfort."
"I better go check on them," she sighed. "I'll have them lined up in ten so step on it Sailor."
Mac left Harm to check on their children. She found them in Lucy's room, diligently building themselves a Lego city. More accurately, Lucy was building the city, while DJ was just building.
"It's almost time to say goodbye to Daddy," Mac told them from the doorway. "You're going to be Mommy's little Marines right? That'll make it nice and easy for Daddy to go do his job." She knelt down near her children. She knew Harm's trips ripped them apart.
"Yes, Mommy," answered Lucy sadly. "How many more minutes can I build?"
"About five," she replied. "But how about after Daddy leaves and DJ goes to sleep you and Mommy have some girl time? Would you like that?" Mac asked, brushing back a strand of Lucy's hair.
"Mm-hmm," replied the little girl. "Can we make popcorn?"
"Sure, but I was thinking more along the lines of ice cream sundaes," Mac laughed and tickled Lucy's sides.
"Stop it, Mommy!" squealed the little girl. "That tickles!"
"I know," Mac laughed. "Now, let's get ready to say bye to Daddy. We have to be nice and strong okay?"
"I will," said Lucy, abandoning her Lego city for the time being. "DJ, come on," she said. "We hafta go tell Daddy bye-bye."
DJ took his sister's hand and Mac ushered them out to the living room. Harm had just finished packing and was entering from the master bedroom at the same time. It seemed that the entire family, even Colleen, knew Harm was about to go away. She came inside through her dog door and sat next to Mac's feet.
"Okay, troops," said Harm, kneeling down to his children's eye level. "Who wants the first hug?"
"I think smallest to largest would be best," Mac suggested.
"Sounds good to me," he replied. Looking at his son, "Come here, you little munch monster!" He scooped the toddler up in his arms and swung him around until he laughed. "Will you be daddy's big boy while I'm gone?"
"Daddy no bye bye," DJ said sadly, his little lip quivering. "Daddy home Mommy."
"I'll be back before you even know I'm gone, pal" he said, wrapping the boy in a solid hug. "Can I have kisses?"
DJ leaned and placed a wet open kiss on his Daddy's cheek. "Daddy Mommy, big boy," he told him in his toddler English.
"You are Mommy's big boy," said Harm. "And you're daddy's big boy, too. I love you and I'll be back real soon, okay?"
"Kay," he replied and toddled over to his mother and clung to her legs.
"Got hugs for me, Lucy Bear?" he asked, looking into the eyes of his 5-year-old.
She reached out and hugged her father. "I'm going to miss you," she told him. "But I'll take care of Mommy. Don't worry."
"That's my good girl," he said, hugging her tight. "I love you, Button, and I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."
She clung a bit tighter for a minute than moved away. DJ was crying now, pretty loudly and hiding behind Mac's legs. Lucy reached over and patted his head. "Its okay, DJ. Daddy promised he'll be home soon and he never breaks his promises."
Harm felt like someone had just kicked him in the heart. In his children's eyes, he could do no wrong and his word was as good as gospel. If only his life were actually that perfect. "Looks like it's Mommy's turn" he said, forcing himself out of the sad line of thought that was sucking him in.
"No long faces, Sailor," she scolded. "It's only for a week. You've been gone longer than that," she reminded him. "Make sure you stop by and see Grams."
"Hopefully it's less than a week," he said. "And yes, I'll make sure I see Grams. I'm going to miss you like crazy."
"Me too," she replied. "Hold me a minute?" she asked.
He silently pulled her as close to himself as he could, taking in everything about her. He sighed deeply, "You sure you'll be okay by yourself?"
"I always have been," she replied. "I'm not broken you know?"
"No, you're not, baby," he said. "But I still worry about you when I'm away. I'll call every day though, and you know how to get me if you need to."
"I do, and you better call everyday," she warned. "Or your six will be on the couch when you get home."
"Hey," he laughed. "I've never had to sleep on the couch yet, have I? Don't worry, Marine, I'll follow orders." He summed it up with a killer smile, the kind that still made her weak in the knees and made her insides melt like ice cream on a hot summer day.
"Kiss for your departing Sailor?" he asked.
Mac smiled and leaned up to kiss him passionately. "I love you. You be careful," she told him.
"Always," he replied. When the kiss broke, he noticed Colleen still sitting at Mac's feet. "Hey girl," he said, kneeling down to pat the dog on the head and give her a rub behind the ears. "You keep everyone in line, okay?" The dog looked at him as if to say she understood his words, she was such a sweetheart. "Alright," he said as he stood back up. "I best head out, can't miss my flight."
"Everyone say bye to Daddy," Mac said as she lifted DJ into her arms. The children did as told in unison with their dog who offered him a bark. With another smile and wave, he was gone.