Chapter 10

Stephanie absently toyed with the delicate gold chain around her neck. Luke felt a surge of annoyance as he watched her from across the table. She'd been playing with that damn thing ever since she'd gotten up this morning. She had hardly looked twice at the sparkling jewel currently adorning the finger on her left hand. It was almost as if it had paled into insignificance despite the fact that it was a reminder that they had promised to spend their lives together. Sighing in frustration, Luke pushed aside his plate and cleared his throat to get Stephanie's attention. She'd been off in her own little world for the past ten minutes and had hardly said a word to him all through breakfast.

"Aren't you hungry?" Stephanie asked, smiling distractedly at him.

"I seem to have lost my appetite." Luke replied sighing once more as he sat back in his chair. His big hand raked through his hair. "Fancy telling me what is on your mind." He paused for a second pressing his lips together. "Or should I say who?"

Stephanie frowned slightly as she looked at him over the table. She could hear the pissed off tone in his voice and it immediately put her on the defensive. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing." he sighed.

"Yeah? Well I don't believe you. Something is bugging you."

"Well maybe something is bugging me. Maybe I'd prefer it if the woman I loved was talking to me and spending time with me instead of sitting there obviously thinking about someone else."

Luke sounded like a petulant child. Stephanie shook her head in disbelief. "So I'm worried about my best friend. Sue me."

He bristled with anger as he heard the defiant tone in her voice. His blue eyes glared across at her. "Yeah well there's no need to take it out on me. I'm not the one who disappeared without a word last night."

"I'm sure Paul had a perfectly good reason for leaving the way he did."

Stephanie sniffed as she stood up from the table and lifting the plates, she walked over to the sink. As she turned on the hot water faucet, she wondered if she sounded convincing because the truth was she had no idea why Paul would up and leave like that. It had completely baffled her and God knows she had been racking her brains all morning trying to think of a possible explanation but so far she had come up blank. It just wasn't like him to disappear without even saying goodbye. Maybe he'd gotten a message on his cell phone or something. Maybe something had happened with his family. Maybe even one of his stupid dates had invited him over for a night in the sack or something. Knowing Paul it was probably the latter. After all he definitely wouldn't have left because maybe he actually felt the way she was beginning to feel about him. That would obviously be too much to hope for on her part.

"Personally, I think it was damn selfish of him. The least he could have done was offer us his congratulations first."

Stephanie snorted sarcastically. Like Luke really wanted Paul to congratulate him. It was more like he wanted to rub the engagement in his face. She whirled round and glared at her new fiance. "Well perhaps if you hadn't been so quick to get your digs in on Paul last night, he might have hung around!"

Luke shook his head as he pushed back the chair and stood up. "I don't believe this. Your so called friend does a disappearing act and yet I'm the one getting it in the neck!"

"Well, what do you expect? You were bang out order last night. Some of the things you said to him were horrible."

He lifted his shoulder in a casual shrug. "Why? I didn't say anything that wasn't the truth. The guy is thirty one years old going on sixteen. All he seems to want out of life is meaningless sex and spending the weekend getting drunk with his friends."

Stephanie glared back at him defiantly immediately going on the defensive as she usually did when someone had a pop at someone she cared for. "Well at least he's always there for me which is a damn sight more than I can say for you sometimes."

Luke snorted, throwing his hands in the air. "Oh here we go. Poor Stephanie is feeling neglected. Well get used to it, honey. I'm a doctor and you know fine well the hours I have to work. It's not a 9-5 job in a cushy little health club!"

"Then just maybe I don't want to get used to it." she replied folding her arms across her chest indignantly. "Maybe I want someone who'll put me first once in a while instead of constantly being treated as an after thought."

"Yeah? Well you should have thought of that before accepting my proposal last night!"

Luke's words stunned Stephanie into a contemplative silence. He was right. She should have thought of that. She should have thought of a lot of things before agreeing to marry him but the truth was he hadn't given her time to think about anything at all. He had popped the question right out of the blue and feeling under pressure she had said yes. And if she was honest with herself, part of her had felt obliged to.

Luke walked across to stand in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I love you Stephanie. I want to marry you but I need to know you want the same thing."

Stephanie shifted her gaze to the floor pushing back the lump that had developed in her throat. The truth was that right now, she didn't know what she wanted. She knew she loved Luke but marrying him would mean coming second to his career and was she honestly prepared to settle for that?

"Stephanie, look at me."

She slowly looked up to meet his grey eyes. They were unfathomable to her. She couldn't tell what was going on in his head. She never could.

"I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me if this is what you really want."

Luke was right. The least he deserved was some honesty from her. Stephanie shook her head as she blinked back the confused, hot tears that now burned in her eyes.

"I don't know Luke. I really don't."

He sighed as he slowly stepped away from her. "Then I think you should go and think about what it is you actually want."

As his arm fell to his side, Stephanie felt herself start to panic and she wiped at a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. Her big blue eyes stared back at him. Although she wasn't sure what she wanted, she knew she couldn't face losing Luke. She cared for him far too much. As if he could sense her panic, Luke's expression softened as he reached across to wipe away her tears.

"Just remember I'll be here waiting for you."

He bent down and kissed her forehead softly. Stephanie managed to smile at him through her tears before grabbing her bag and leaving the house. She didn't turn back round to say goodbye. If she did, she just might lose her courage and stay. Instead she closed the door softly behind her and walking determinedly, she made her way home knowing exactly what she needed to do before she could even figure out what it was her heart wanted.