Chapter Nine

7:25pm

Danny's cell phone rang.

"Taylor."

"Hey, it's Martin. We need you at work. I'm sorry."

"Okay. I'll be there in twenty minutes. I'm in casual clothes."

"Whatever, man. Just get here."

"I'm on my way."

Danny closed his phone and stood up. Turning off the TV, he walked to the breakfast bar to write a note to Jack. Finishing it, he headed to Jack's bedroom. Quietly, he walked in and set the note on the bedside table. Turning, he went to the guest room, packed up his meager things and left the apartment. In the taxi, on his way to the office, he called Anne.

"You have reached Anne Cassidy. Please leave a message after the beep. I will call you."

"Anne, it's Danny, it's around 7:30 on Wednesday night. I have to head to work. Can you call him? Just to check in…thanks."

He closed his phone and sighed.

9:00pm

Anne had found her set of Jack's house keys and after hearing Danny's voicemail, decided to head to his apartment. She walked into the dark, quiet space. Turning on a light, she took off her coat, hat, scarf and boots before heading to find Jack.

He was dressed in shorts, lying on his stomach on top of the comforter. She sat on the bed next to him and touched his cheek. His skin felt cool to the touch. She watched him in the darkened bedroom, the only light coming from the hallway. His beard was thick, and like his sideburns, speckled with grey and white. Anne ran her hand through his thick hair and he shifted, making a noise she couldn't describe. Slowly, he turned over towards her and opened his eyes. He blinked several times and then sat up, gathering her in his arms.

"I am so glad you're here," he said, his voice shaking with emotion.

Anne couldn't speak, instead, nodding into his neck.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay; getting better. And you?" she asked.

"Tired, some pain, anxious…scared."

"What are you scared of?"

She pulled back to look at his face.

"Of losing you," he said, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm here for the long haul, buster."

He pulled her close, feeling the beat of her heart against his chest. His eyes were closed when he felt her feather-lite kiss on his eyelids. The fatigue was really tugging on his every fiber. Leaning back onto the pillows, he closed his eyes. He felt her spoon against the side of this body, her arm stretched across his belly.

Thursday 7:15 am

"Jack? Jack? Breakfast."

Jack opened his eyes and groaned slightly. He sat up and noticed Danny's note. Reading it quickly, he smiled before slowly getting to his feet and pulling on his bathrobe. He headed for the kitchen and the aroma of fresh coffee and eggs.

"Sit at the table. I'm giving you a little bit of eggs and toast. We'll see how you tolerate it."

"Uhm, okay, thanks."

Sitting at the table, he saw his antibiotics. He shook out a pill and swallowed it dry. Anne brought breakfast and he waited until she sat opposite him.

"Thank you," he said, in a gruff voice.

"Try it first, but you're welcome."

He sipped his coffee and sighed as he started to eat his eggs slowly.

"Damn," he said abruptly, putting down his fork.

"What?"

"I didn't make an appointment with Glenn," he said, standing to get the phone.

He dialed the number from memory.

"Dr. Bradley's office."

"It's Jack Malone. Does he have any time today?"

"Good morning, Agent Malone. He has been expecting your call. You can have the nine o'clock if that works for you."

"That's fine, thanks."

"You're welcome. Bye."

"Bye."

Jack hung up the phone and squinted at the clock on the microwave.

"I have to be at Glenn's office at 9am. I might as well do the whole thing."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to apply for a new gun. Tyler said they were replacing my vest. My watch needs to be cleaned and I have to check my ID."

"Gotcha."

"And I need to see Sam. I remember her in my dreams and …she's never safe."

"Then you need to see her. Maybe, maybe you can take her to lunch?"

"Thank you, honey. That's a good idea."

Jack ate some more of his egg and sipped his coffee. He looked again at the microwave and then stood slowly.

"I need to take a shower."

"Don't shave."

Jack grinned at Anne before leaning over to kiss her. He limped to the bedroom, stripped, and then took a shower as she finished her breakfast and did the dishes. At eight-thirty, Jack walked down the hallway. His mildewed ID card was clipped to his jacket pocket. He wore a Nehru collared shirt and a grey jacket over jeans. His waterlogged watch was in his pocket and his wallet was wet but he hoped salvageable.

"Looking great," she said, kissing him quickly.

"Thanks, so are you. I'm glad you decided to keep some clothes here."

"Are you taking your crutch?"

"Yeah, I suppose I should."

Jack slipped on his wool overcoat and put Tyler's set of keys in the pocket before slowly walking out with Anne. They managed to catch a cab and were at the office in fifteen minutes.

"I may be a few minutes. I'll call you later," Jack said to her before giving her a quick kiss.

"Okay, take it easy today."

He smiled at her and then turned his attention to security.

"Agent Malone, good to see you back."

"Thanks, Larry. Is my ID good enough?"

The agent took it and looked at very closely before handing it back.

"Yeah, for now. I'll make a note. Maybe in a month we'll need to replace it. Have a good day, Agent Malone."

"Thanks, Larry."

Jack took the elevator up and got off on twelve. He put his coat in his office and then went upstairs to Glenn's office.

"Agent Malone, good to see you. Would you like some coffee?"

"No, thank you."

"Well then, he's waiting for you."

Jack took a breath and entered Glenn's office.

He walked into the elevator and pressed twelve. He had just enough energy to get to his office, he thought. The doors opened and he stepped onto his floor. Taking a breath, he went to his office. Jack took off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair. He closed the blinds and turned off all the lights except the desk light. The fatigue was insurmountable and he lay down on the couch and closed his eyes.

Sam walked by Jack's office and saw the lights go out. She hesitated and then walked in. Her eyes weren't used to the darkness. She smelled him; his soap, his shampoo.

"I'm sorry I haven't called you," his voice rumbled in the office.

"It's all right."

"No, it's not, it's just that I haven't been up to it until today. How are you?"

She pulled a chair to be nearer to him.

"Fine."

"Sam, it's me. How are you?"

"I have dreams about the explosion. I worry about you."

"I worry about you, too. The doctors feel I'll be fine. I get the cast off in four weeks and then I can get back in the field."

"That's great. Oh, you should talk to Danny. I think he has the spare keys to your car."

"Thanks, I will. I just…I just need to sleep right now."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry. I'll let you sleep," she said, standing suddenly.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks, thanks for coming by."

"You're welcome."

She stood by the door, listening to his breathing soften to the point where she couldn't hear it. Letting herself out into the hallway, she resumed her path to get a fresh cup of coffee.

"You've been gone a while," Martin remarked.

"Jack's in his office. I needed to talk to him. He's sleeping, now."

"He has a ton of paperwork to fill out," Martin replied.

"Yes, he does." Viv said, looking towards his office.

12:00pm

Jack woke up suddenly. He looked around and then realized where he was. Standing slowly, he walked to his desk and looked at the mound in the inbox. Sighing, he slipped on his jacket and walked to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

"Jack?"

He looked up to see Danny.

"Here are the keys to your car. It's in your slot."

"Thanks, Danny."

"Sorry I had to leave you last night."

"It's all right; really, your note was enough."

"Okay then, I'll see you later."

Jack went back to his office to start the paperwork process after opening the blinds on all of the windows.

12:30pm

Jack's cell phone rang. With a grunt he reached for the phone.

"Malone."

"Hey, buddy."

"Hey, Tyler."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the office."

"Why?"

"It's a dumb rule but I have to fill out requisitions for my gun, and write up the paperwork for the case that caused me to go on restricted duty before I can go on restricted duty."

"Of course. How are you otherwise?"

"Psych says I'll be fine eventually; physical is tomorrow. I'm tired; I have dreams; I have headaches."

"How's Annie?"

"We're taking it one day at a time, but I gotta tell you, Tyler, she's stronger than I am."

"No, Malone. She just hasn't let you in. Go easy. You've been through an ordeal; she has been through a life-changing ordeal."

"I understand that, Tyler, I just don't know what to do."

"Listen to her. Be patient."

"Wait, this is coming from the bachelor?"

"No, this is coming from Jennifer's brother, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"I'll talk to you later. I'm up to my eyeballs down here."

"All right. Thanks for calling."

"Take care, Malone. Get some sleep."

"Thanks, Tyler. You, too.

Jack hung up the phone and stood slowly to stretch before resuming his position.

1:30pm

A quiet knock on the door broke Jack from the monotony of paperwork. He looked up and smiled.

"You do know that you aren't really authorized to be back at work? I mean not until you see your physician."

"Yeah, honey, I know that. The problem is I need to fill out the paperwork so I can do my job."

"I understand, I really do, but you need to go home. I don't mean to be blunt but you really look awful. I'm worried about you."

"Thank you, sweetheart. You're right, I don't feel well, but I'm just about to leave."

"I'm going to my support group tonight. I'll call you when I'm done."

"Great."

She looked at him, noting the circles, the grey pallour, and the general fatigue, before leaving him in his office. He finished his paperwork, picked up his coat, and then walked to Van Doren's office to drop it off.

"Hi, Jack. I didn't expect to see you until Monday."

"Catch-22. I can't work until I fill out this paperwork."

"Oh, okay. Well, then, I'll see you on Monday."

"Thanks, Paula. See you then."

Jack left her office and took the elevator to the garage. He opened his trunk and took out his suit jacket. He found his house keys in the pocket and a small leather case with photographs of Hanna and Kate. He folded his suit jacket over his arm before walking to the elevator to try to catch a cab.

9:00pm

Although the session had gone well, Anne didn't want to go home and be alone. Instead, she found herself walking up the stairs to Jack's apartment and reaching for her keys. Letting herself in, she shivered as she realized he hadn't turned the radiator on. She took off her coat, hat and boots anyway, before turning on a table light in the living room. Anne went to the radiator and turned it on half-way. Slowly, she walked to Jack's bedroom to check on him.

He was sprawled face down on top of the comforter in his shorts. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she ran her fingers softly through his hair. She leaned over and kissed his cheek and then went back to the kitchen.

Opening the refrigerator, she noticed a bottle of wine. Twisting the cap, she poured herself a glass of Australian Sauvignon Blanc and settled in front of the TV on the sofa.

9:30pm

Jack was on his back, caught in a dream, suddenly waking up. He lay there, feeling his heart race and trying to catch his breath, when he thought he heard something in the living room. Slowly, he sat up and walked to the bureau. He pulled out an old Yankees t-shirt and put it on. Limping out of the room, he continued down the hall. He stood in the doorway, watching the reflection of the TV on her hair.

"Hi."

Anne looked over to him and smiled.

"Hi, did I wake you?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Can I get you something?"

Jack looked at her in the dim room and wrestled several minutes for the right response.

"You, I need you."

Anne stood slowly and walked up to him. He was leaning against the wall to take some of the pressure off of his left leg, but easily gathered her into his arms. He looked into her dark brown eyes and waited for her. She gazed back at his face, taking in the circles under his eyes, the coarseness of his unkempt beard and his goofy smile. Slowly, she moved her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't chaste, but it said all that it needed to.

Standing in the doorway, they kissed and hugged until he broke off.

"I think I have to sit down."

"Let me help you."

She slid her arm around his waist as he limped to the sofa. Jack lowered himself and then carefully put his cast ankle on the telephone books. Making a decision, Anne went to the kitchen and poured him a stiff scotch with a splash of water. She handed it to him over the back of the sofa and then refilled her wine glass. Gently, she sat down next to him. They sat quietly, listening to the Discovery Channel.

"I'm sorry," he said, after several minutes of silence between them.

"Why?"

"I was selfish and didn't ask how your session went tonight."

She held out her hand, palm up. He easily took it in his larger one.

"It was difficult, but in the end I think it's a good thing. I…I didn't want to be alone tonight."

"I'm glad you're here."

He took his hand from hers, and stretched his arm along the back of the sofa. She moved closer to him and he lowered his arm over her shoulders, pulling her to him tightly. Kissing her on the top of the head, he reached his right arm to her hip, feeling her turn her body into his. He sighed audibly.

"Bored?"

"Hardly. How about blissful, Elysian, paradisiacal?"

"The 'hardly' worked for me."

Lying in each other's arms on the sofa, they both fell asleep.

Friday 2:14am

She woke up abruptly as Jack's nightmare became more physical. Anne pulled out of his arms watching him until his pain was too much for her to bear.

"Jack, wake up."

He was still caught.

"Jack, wake up. We need to get some good sleep," she said loudly.

He woke up immediately and put his hands over his face.

"God, I hate this."

Anne stood and offered her hand to him.

"Please, I think if we sleep in the bed together, our dreams will stay away."

Jack looked at her before slowly putting his left foot on the floor. He sat up and finished his drink. Getting to his feet, he took her hand, allowing her to guide him to the bedroom. Jack walked to his side and set the alarm for seven. Anne got undressed and put on one of his t-shirts before joining him in bed. He rolled on his left side and pulled her close to him.

"If I forget in the morning, I love you."

"Believe me; you do not have selective amnesia."

She turned in his arms towards him, kissing him; their tongues touching for a moment. Both of them knew they weren't capable of a physical relationship right now. Instead, he rolled onto his back, and she draped half her body onto him, holding him closely.

7:00am

Vince Gill's voice wafted across the room before Jack had a chance to hit the snooze button. He was on his right side and Anne was spooning him from behind. Her left arm was across his chest, and her hand held onto his pendant. He sighed as he picked up her hand in his and kissed it.

"Mmmm."

"Anne, do you want to be first shower?"

"No."

Inwardly, he groaned. He shifted out of her grasp and headed for the toilet. He tugged at his clothes, turned on the water, stripped off his clothes and got into the shower. Turning around slowly, letting the water cascade down over his shoulders and onto his chest. He heard the shower curtain open as Anne joined him.

"Hi, just be careful. My balance is sketchy with the cast," he warned as the water surged over his head and face.

"Okay, stop hogging the hot water," she said putting her hands on his shoulders to help him shift positions.

He grinned, wiping the water from his eyes and watched her under the shower. He took the soap from L'Occitane that she insisted on buying. It had shea butter in it with a vague smell of lemon. He soaped up, waiting for his turn under the water.

"Switch," he growled.

"Sorry," she giggled, again finding his shoulders to help him move within the bathtub.

He stepped under the heat of the shower spray and groaned as he rinsed himself. He felt Anne's hands on him as well. Jack knew she wasn't physically or mentally ready for sex and thought about his kids to keep him from getting aroused. That and the fact that his ankle really hurt as it swelled within the cast, kept him sane.

"I'm done," he said, carefully getting out of the tub.

"Okay, five minutes," she answered.

"I'm timing you."

He toweled off and limped to his bedroom. He dressed casually again; jeans and t-shirt as he wasn't going to the office. As he was slipping his loafer onto his right foot he saw Anne step out of the shower.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"English muffin and coffee would be great."

"Okay."

He stood and limped to the kitchen, getting things set. Fifteen minutes later, Anne came out of the bedroom in fresh clothes. He handed her a cup of coffee and then went to the toaster to retrieve her muffins. She sat at the breakfast bar and sipped her coffee, watching him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, the heat of the water makes my ankle throb. I'm sure Steven will sort it out for me."

"Okay. I see Dr. Chesny this afternoon. But I'm free tonight and all week-end."

"Great. I just have this appointment with Steven. I'll drop my watch off at that jeweler on 34th and Lex. Hopefully it won't cost me an arm and a leg."

"Call me when you get home."

"I will."

He watched her eat; knowing that Dr. Siegel would want to take his blood. Looking at the microwave, he noted the time. Limping to the desk, he pulled some tens and twenties to pay for the cabs up to the doctor's office.

"I have to go, honey," he said, sticking his keys in one pocket and his watch in the other.

"Okay, I love you."

"I know and I love you too."

He leaned over and kissed her passionately. When he pulled back and looked at her, Anne's eyes were still closed to the passion.

He grinned and limped to the closet to get his top coat. Moments later, he was carefully walking down the stairs, feeling the support from his crutch.

"Mr. Malone, good to see you. Why don't you go back to the lab and have them draw blood. He's about twenty minutes behind."

"Okay," Jack said, limping back to the gal in the micro office assigned to take blood.

Fifteen minutes later, he was back in the waiting room.

"Jack?"

He stood and followed Dr. Siegel to his office. He sat carefully, watching where his cast foot lay.

"If your ankle hurts, put it on the desk, I've no problem with that," he said, sliding a pile of files away.

Jack slowly put his cast ankle on the doctor's desk and waited.

"I've read Dr. Aswan's report. What else has happened?"

"Did you get Glenn's report?"

"Yes, but I know you, Jack. What else is going on?"

Jack shifted to get comfortable in the chair.

"I have nightmares; I have pain in my left knee and hip and of course my ankle. I've been getting headaches."

"What, if any, painkillers are you taking?"

"Aleve; just Aleve."

"Okay, let's get to the room and examine you. They took blood?"

"Yes."

"Did you sleep last night?"

"Five hours or so."

"Okay."

Steven led him to the room.

"Everything off, Jack. Opening to the front. I need to check your stitches."

Jack nodded and began to take off his clothes. Ten minutes later, he was lying on the table with the gown on and there was a knock on the door.

"Yeah, ready to go."

"Great, Jack."

Steven gently prodded and poked, hemmed and hawed, asked Jack to breathe, cough, and move.

"Okay, get dressed and meet me in my office."

Jack nodded and slowly got dressed. He walked to Steven's office and sat slowly in the chair by his desk.

"Your injuries are healing, but you seem to be very tired. I need to look at your blood work to find out about that. In terms of your job, you're on desk duty until your ankle is up to par. Look, I understand your job, I've known you since you started at the Bureau, but you are exhausted. I can't tell if it's mental or physical. I will talk to Glenn and we will recommend a course of action. Until then, please, please, try to take it easy. I'll send the papers to the office approving you to return to work on Monday. I'll call you on Wednesday with your blood results."

"Thanks, Steven."

"You're welcome, Jack."

Jack left the office and walked west to Lexington Avenue, to a jeweler he knew.

"Mr. Malone, long time. What do you have today?"

"My watch got waterlogged. Can you fix it?"

"Wow, no kidding. Uhm, I should be able to. It'll take a while. I'm loaning you this TAG/Hauer in the meantime. I'm sorry; it's not the same as your Patek Philippe. Where did you get it, anyway?"

"My ex-wife gave it to me on our fifth anniversary."

"It's a beauty."

"Thanks, Evan. Call me when I can swap back," Jack said, taking the receipt from him.

"Of course. You take care, too. Bad time to be in a cast."

Jack smiled and walked out of the shop. He crossed to the west side of Lexington and caught a taxi home. Climbing the three flights, Jack was at his limit. He walked in, took off his coat, stretched out on the sofa, and fell asleep.