A/N: Didn't get as much written as I would have liked. Plans changed and such. Still I'm happy with this chapter. Thanks for all the kind words and reviews!

Chapter 10

Daphne didn't want to be here. She really didn't want to be here. She'd rather have been at Hogwarts when Snape was Headmaster. That may have been a little much. While she wasn't targeted at all, there was a horrible feeling in the air the entire time there. She had been lucky, and she knew it. Her normal response of laying low had worked perfectly.

The doctors' office really wasn't that different from a Healer Office. Though, one might call the doctors a bit more modern. It still filled her with a sense of dread. The first twenty times she went to see a healer she didn't mind it. However, as she didn't get better and as her parents grew more and more frustrated with every answer they got, it stopped being okay.

Her parent would get silent, talk in hushed whispers, and she knew that it was her fault for it. She didn't mean to be the way that she was. She did want to just be normal, feel normal, and ask normal. It never worked though. Every time that it didn't work just meant that her mother or father would look up someone a little more crazy then the last.

The Zulu which doctor had been her least favorite. Being put in a pot of near boiling water hadn't been too bad. Putting the top on it to try and steam all the bad thoughts out of her head.

Then there was the Polish witch who thought that hanging her upside down for a few days would reopen the magic and blood flow to her head.

Daphne had known that these people were quacks. She was also sure her parents knew too but they were desperate and had a lot of money, a very lethal combination. All the legitimate healers just said that she was touched in the head and would either grow out of it or require calming potions. The calming potions had worked for a bit and they still worked a bit but only if she knew it was happening.

Daphne had tried taking them everyday and results weren't great. She couldn't take them everyday without feeling sick and she'd have to take a potion three times a day to make it through the whole day. It was easier to attempt to take it when she felt bad but often it would take too long to calm her down.

"How are you feeling?" Harry aske as they sat in the office waiting for the doctor.

Daphne just shrugged. "No clue. It's better then the last ten times at least. Muggle doctors don't hurt, right?" she asked.

"Not really, needles sting a bit. I don't think you'll need to worry about that," Harry said.

She smiled back at him weakly. She loved that Harry was trying but she needed to make a few things clear to him. "If this doesn't work or leads to nowhere, please tell me you're not going to keep trying to take me places like this," she said.

Harry looked at his girlfriend and thought it over. He nodded. "I'm not going to bring you to places like this if this doesn't work. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to look for new ideas but only legitimate ones," he promised.

Daphne let out an exasperated sigh. "Please. I know you care but I don't want to have to take off to just be told I can't be cured," she sighed.

Harry just looked at her and nodded. "I promise I'm not going to do this every week or drag you anywhere. If this doesn't work, then I'll drop it. Just keep an open mind?" he asked.

"I will, I want to get better," Daphne said.

Harry believed that she wanted to get better. He also believed that she believed she was hopeless and this was pointless. She wasn't really sabotaging herself on purpose, she just needed some hope.

"You don't believe me?" she asked giving him a look.

Harry wasn't sure to say but thankfully for him there was a knock on the door.

"Hello Ms. Greengrass, I'm Dr. Montgomery," he said walking in. He was older than they were by a good twenty years but didn't look it. "How are you doing today?" he asked smiling at them.

"I'm here so…" Daphne shrugged.

"Fair enough," he smiled reading the chart the nurse had provided. Daphne hadn't really been sure how to deal with all the questions and getting her stats checked out by the nurse. She mostly just sat there waited for it to be over.

"So, you're having issues with mood swings?" he asked.

"Yes," Daphne mumbled obviously not happy talking about it.

"How long have they been going on for?" he asked.

"Long as I can remember, honestly," Daphne said.

"And how bad are they? And how often?"

Daphne started to mumble a bit. Harry decided to cut in. "It's on and off. She can go weeks and be fine. Then if it's high stress she can be unable to get out of bed for a week,"

That earned him a bit of a glare from Daphne. She'd have to talk to him about that later. "That's about right. I had trouble in school with it," she blushed.

"Did your parents or anyone from the school ever try any treatments?" he asked.

"No, my parents are a bit old fashioned in that regard," Daphne said. Since she had never seen a muggle doctor she thought it best to start fresh. Not like he'd know anything about her other treatments.

Dr. Montgomery didn't look happy about that but politely said nothing about her parents. "Do you have any headaches or dizziness? Slurring of speech?" he asked.

"Not really, why?" Daphne asked.

"I'm just trying to rule out if it's something physical or not. Do you remember or have your parents said if it happened suddenly?"

"No. I'm sorry. I just know that I've just always had times where I get really nervous and anxious. Then I start to worry, and I feel really bad and don't want to do anything," Daphne said chewing on her lower lip.

"I see," he said taking down a few notes. "Have you noticed any kind of personality changes? Making rash decisions? Feeling manic?"

Daphne shrugged. "Not really. I've been this way more of my life. I'll feel fine. Then I start to just kind feel bad about myself," she said looking down. "Like I'm feeling really nervous right now," she blushed.

"I can see that," he said noticing the way her leg bounced. "Don't worry. You're doing great," he assured her smiling.

"Thanks, I'm just not used to talking about it," she said not meeting his eyes.

"The important thing is that you want to get help now. The good news is it doesn't sound like you have anything physically wrong with you. No headaches or dizziness. I don't think we're looking at anything surgical,"

"So, what does that mean?" Daphne asked looking up.

"Well I'm thinking that we'll try something to help stabilize your mood. Do you often get more depressed or would you say more manic?"

Daphne wasn't totally sure and looked over at Harry for some help.

"I wouldn't really say manic is much of a problem. I've mostly seen her depressed and anxious," Harry said. "We've only been dating for a few months," he added in.

"I'd agree. I feel like really great sometimes but it's mostly after I've been laying in bed for a week," Daphne said feeling more secure in her answer.

"So more depressive," he said to himself and thinking about it. "How often do you get anxious?" he asked.

"I guess I feel that all the time. I just worry. I just always think something is going to happen. My last…episode was when we were going to dinner to meet his friends. I got nervous and felt horrible," Daphne said obviously nervous.

"Okay, are you seeing a therapist or counselor?" he asked.

"No. I wasn't sure if it would help and well my boyfriend thought this would be the better place to start," Daphne said.

"Not wrong. It's good to rule out anything physical plus I can prescribe something for the anxiety. I want to start there. See if we try and nip that in the bud. I'm going to prescribe Xanax, have you heard of it?"

Daphne shook her head no.

"It's a common anti-anxiety medication. It's a good place to start,"

"To start?" Daphne asked.

"Yes. For symptoms such as yours it can take a bit of work to get the right dosage. It should help you. You may feel more drowsy or tired," he said.

"Why?" Daphne asked.

"Just some common side effects. You might take it and not have any side effects. They are there though," he said.

"Anything bad?" Daphne asked feeling nervous.

"You may feel tired, more sad, irritable. You may also get more clumsy. I'm going to start you on the smallest does, three times a day. I'd also suggest a therapist. If you can learn some techniques to help you manage your anxiety,"

"The pill just won't fix it?" Daphne asked.

"The pill will help and even with therapy you may still need it. I've just found that some people have had good success with therapy," he said.

Daphne looked glum. She didn't like the idea of this at all. In fact, she felt that everything that had just happened was a waste of her time. This was the best they had to offer? It was just a doctor visit and it didn't provide her any more clarity.

"Yeah, sure," she sighed.

Harry could tell that Daphne wasn't happy. She had been expecting something more out of this. Some sort of magical cure, he chuckled at that thought. Instead, she was told that pills and a therapist would help.

"Here you go, and I'd like you to make an appointment for next month," he said.

"Why?" Daphne asked pouting.

"Just to check on you and make sure that it's working," Dr. Montgomery said.

"Okay, I'll call in when I know my schedule," Daphne said taking the slip of paper and shoving it in her purse.

She and Harry left the office in silence. Harry was too worried to say something, and Daphne was stewing at him. Sooner then he would have liked they were back at Daphne's apartment.

"I'm so…" Harry started.

"No. You had…I know you were trying to help. This is nothing more then a calming potion," she hissed threw her purse onto the couch.

"It might work better," Harry said.

"Oh, how do you know? I've been doing this for years. This is pointless," she said seething.

"I don't know. Maybe it's different from a calming potion. Maybe talking will help. I don't know if it will, but it hasn't been tried yet," Harry said.

"Because you know SO much!" Daphne screamed. "I've been living with this my whole life! It's a part of me," she said. "I don't know why I even agreed," she said.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you," Harry said starting to lose his patience. "I took the day off work. I just thought that it would help. If it's affecting your life I just wanted to see if it would help. You're not even willing to try!" he shouted back.

"Because it's pointless. This is just another name for a calming potion!"

"Well have you talked to anyone about this?!"

"There's no point! Have you ever talked to anyone about your problems," Daphne asked placing her hands on her hips.

"That's not the point,"

"I think it matters,"

"I'm just trying to help my girlfriend. I don't want to see you sad," Harry said trying to stay calm, but his patience was being tested.

"I'm fine. This is me. If you don't like it then I don't know what to tell you," Daphne said feeling the full mental strain of the day.

"I just think…"

"I don't care what you think! You don't know what you're talking about! You've never done this. You said it yourself! I went! I tried! It's not going to help!"

"But you didn't try! You're not going to even try the medicine or try talking to someone. You're just giving up," Harry shot back.

"I'm not giving up! I'm just accepting of things,"

"You shouldn't have to accept it,"

"Life isn't perfect Harry! You of all people should know that. I might just have to live with this! We don't know!" she screamed.

"I'm just trying to help you! Do you want to have mood swing?"

"Did you want to live in that cupboard?" Daphne said snidely. Her eyes went wide as soon as the words left her mouth. It looked like she wanted to say something else. She couldn't find the words. "I'm…"

Harry glared at her and just shook his head. He didn't say anything else and just left. He slammed the door hard leaving a trembling Daphne.

She stood there for a minute before the tears started to come around. Her lower lip trembled, and she curled up into a ball on the couch. She started to sob loudly, and hit her head against the cushions. "How could I be so stupid?" she asked herself. She had just been so angry. Her nerves were frayed. She just wanted him to accept that there was no hope for her. Then they fought, and the words just came out.

"Merlin, You're an idiot Daphne. You're just. How can you be so dumb? He tells you something personal and you throw it in his face," she said to herself.

"He was stressing you out. It shouldn't matter. I just…I like him and I've ruined it. He's going to break-up with me and I deserve it! How stupid can I be?" she asked herself. She didn't say anything else. She just lay there sobbing on and off for about an hour or two. She wasn't really sure but it was starting to get darker.

She kept her lights out to match her mood. She thought about maybe asking her sister for help. She shook her head. Astoria would be comforting but there would be a lot of 'I Told You So' moments from her. She didn't need that right now. She could write Tracey. They had been talking more the last few weeks. Daphne shook her head. She didn't want to open up about everything. Once again, she was alone.

She was starting to shake. That was enough to made her get up to take a calming potion. She doubted it would help. It was worth a try. She took it and lay back done. Her mind was racing. She wanted to talk to Harry to try and smooth this out. She doubted he'd even want to see her. He'd just slam the door on her face and never want to see her again.

Daphne was squirming. She got up and started to pace. She needed to talk to someone. "My co-workers? No, I hate those bitches," she said shaking her head. She couldn't believe she was about to do this. This was stupid. This was so stupid. What if Harry was already there? She couldn't even tell her what she had told him. She didn't know, and Harry would just hate her more if she told.

She was desperate and Harry wasn't an option. It was going to be worth the risk. Tears still rolling down her face she took some floo powder and walked over to the fireplace. "Uhhh Hermione? Are you in?" she asked shaking. Her heart was racing. This was dumb, this was dumb. Being alone was better. She was about to pull her head out of the fireplace when Hermione appeared.

"Daphne? Are you alright?" Hermione asked.

"No. I…I did something dumb. You're going to hate me. I know Harry hates me," she sniffled.

Hermione was taken aback by this. She had been friendly to Daphne last week, offering a chance to talk. She hadn't been expecting something like this. "Did you and Harry have a fight?' she asked.

"Maybe," Daphne said feeling sick. This was awful. Hermione was going to yell at her. She should just be alone. "You know what I don't think…"

"Come over," Hermione offered. "I promise that I won't judge. We'll just talk,"

Daphne thought it over. She was chewing on her lower lip and shaking. Being alone seemed nice. Her apartment was dark and cold while Hermione's home had been warm. "I'm coming over," she said pulling her head out of the fireplace and flooing over.

Hermione's concern intensified as she saw Daphne step out. She was curling in on herself, shaking a bit. She looked like a mess.

"Daphne, what happened? Would you like tea?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," she said glumly and sat down. She eyed the fireplace. She might have to make her escape quick. She thought she could apparate out but she wasn't sure of the wards. Running for the door might work too if the yelling started.

"Now what happened?" Hermione asked, putting the kettle on and walking back to the scared blonde.

"I yelled at Harry. I said something bad. He was just trying to help me. I didn't mean to yell. I just, he was making me mad. He needs to understand that it doesn't matter, he can't help me,"

Hermione was confused but was able to decipher enough. She started to gently rub Daphne's back. "Hey, it's okay. Arguments happen. Ron and I used to argue all the time," she said.

"I ruined it though. I said something…I can't tell you what I said but he won't forgive me," Daphne said slumping.

"What exactly happened today? You can tell me. I won't judge," Hermione said.

Daphne looked at her unsure.

"Okay I'll do my best. I won't take sides,"

"Yes, you will! I hate what I said to Harry. I'm sure that he hates me. I hate me," she sobbed.

"Just start at the beginning. What can you tell me?" Hermione asked.

Daphne sniffled a bit and thought it over. "I went to the doctor today and Harry went with me. I'm having…issues. I don't think it matters. I thought the advice was pointless. Harry disagreed and then I said something bad to him. About him being weak,"

Hermione just listened. She didn't like that Harry was hurt but it was obvious that Daphne was regretful over what had happened. "What exactly did you say?" she asked.

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry. It was something Harry told me," Daphne said.

"I know everything…"

"You don't know this. He said so. Just trust me," Daphne plead.

Hermione didn't believe her at all. "If you say so. If that's the case then give him some space,"

"That's it?" Daphne asked not quite believing it would be as simple as that. "I was rude and horrible. I don't know why I said what I said. I just felt mad. He was pushing me. I'm just stressed and today sucked. I was hoping for good news. It's just an endless fight," she sighed rubbing her temples.

The kettle whistled, and Hermione looked at Daphne. "I'm just going to get the tea," she said standing up. "Just hold that thought," she said pouring them each a cup and bringing them over for the two of them.

"Do you need anything to eat?" Hermione asked.

"I'm fine. I just feel sick," Daphne said.

Hermione nodded. "As I was saying. Give Harry a day or two. I've done and said things to him over the years. Ron has too. If you admit that you're wrong he's more likely to forgive you. You were in the wrong, correct?"

Daphne bobbed her head seemingly unsure. "Eighty percent my fault and twenty percent his. He was trying to help. He should have dropped it. I shouldn't have said what I said," she gulped rocking herself back and forth a bit.

Hermione nodded and continued to comfort the girl. She was unsure why Daphne felt the need to reach out like this. Looking at the blonde just made Hermione feel like she needed a hug. If she did something that bad to Harry, she'd be bad later. For now, she was going to comfort her the best that she could.

While Daphne had gone to Hermione, Harry had gone to the Auror Training grounds to work out some offensive spells. Blowing up a few dummies always made him feel better. Normally he did a fair amount of damage to them but tonight hew as blasting them away with Confringo after Confringo.

Harry did that for about an hour, until he could feel himself getting tired. He did feel a little bit better. He was sweaty, exhausted, and hurt. He debated going out to get a drink. He didn't feel like being around anyone and he had a bottle of firewhiskey at home.

Harry went home and poured himself a large glass and took a sip. He sat down on his couch and started to replay his day in his head. He had honestly wanted to help Daphne.

Daphne. The name brought a stabbing feeling to his heart and stomach. He had just been trying to help her. He only wanted to help her. If she just listened to him, none of this would have happened and they'd be spending a lovely night together.

He hated her. He missed her. He never wanted to see her again. He wanted to see if she was sorry. His head was a jumbled mess.

Daphne had taken something he had told her, something so he could feel closer to her, and just thrown it in his face. Even if she didn't mean to, she had done it. Was it even worth trying to talk to her? She was the one who had insulted him.

There was a little niggling feeling in his head. That little voice in the back of his mind. He looked at the glass and took another sip from it. He was telling Daphne to get all this help. Did he need help too?

His hands started to shake a bit. They hadn't done that for years. It had started for a bit after the war. He had been able to get over it. Did he though? It was easy enough to talk about some old stories. The end of the war and aftermath were too hard to think about. He took a large gulp and poured himself some more.

It was so easy when he wasn't thinking about it. When he was thinking about it, walking up to him, in the forest, knowing that he had to die.

Harry was starting to hyperventilate. He was trying to return his focus to Daphne. It was easy to hate Daphne. It was easy to love Daphne. He drank a bit more. He had been ignoring these thoughts for years, but they were still there.

He tried to push those thoughts from his mind. Daphne should be grateful. He was just trying to help her. He wanted his girlfriend happy. If he didn't give her a push then she wasn't going to try to get better.

Another thought hit him. Maybe he had pushed a bit too hard. After all she had gone and was feeling down there was no simple cure. Would muggle medicine be more effective? He wasn't sure about that. He was also certain that the only people who knew were ones who had tried both. The doctor said it might take time.

He remembered being in that tent when it seemed like the war would never end. When they'd never be able to defeat him. He had wanted to give in then, but he was able to keep going. It was his destiny after all.

Daphne had nothing like that to keep her going. She was just living with it. She doesn't know if it'll ever end for her. Harry remembered feeling like that. The first few months after the war before joining the Auror Academy he had felt like that. He still felt that way every now and then. When he thought about it. When he couldn't block the bad parts of his memories. He had been able to tell her about his relatives the other night because he knew that it was over. He trusted her not to tell.

He gulped down the rest of his drink. The alcohol was hitting him now. He lay down on the couch as the weight of the day hit him. He'd talk with her after work tomorrow. He had to hear what she had to say.

Daphne was laying in her bed trying to read. Talking with Hermione had helped her. It had helped her far more than she had anticipated. Even though she was Harry's friend she was still willing to listen. Daphne still felt anxious but it wasn't the crushing anxiety that she often felt. Talking to Astoria led to this feeling on occasion. It wasn't Astoria's fault it didn't work all the time, she tried. There were just certain things she felt she couldn't talk to Astoria about. Such as, their parents, how she felt about certain people, relationships. Yes, relationships were the worst. Her family made such a bit deal out of them. Even if it was just talking about a boy she liked. It was as if they assumed she'd just date someone and marry them.

Daphne hated when people made a fuss about her. Hermione did but it was in a nice way. "Hopefully Hermione is right and you didn't ruin this," Daphne said to herself. She'd love to talk to Hermione again without being in the middle of a breakdown.

Daphne thought back to the doctors' appointment. It might be worth trying that muggle medicine. It might be stronger. She had the money for it. The side effects bothered her, but it wasn't like she didn't feel a little woozy after a calming potion. She sighed and put her book down. It was still a bit early. She wasn't tired yet, but she just needed to think. If Harry wanted to talk tomorrow she needed to be ready. She started playing scenarios in her head and going over everyone. If she was prepared with what she had to say it would go better, she was awful on the spot. She just hoped that Harry would accept her apology. He had to accept her apology. He had to hear what she had to say.

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