Her
The next few minutes after his words were like a blur.
It was like she was in a bubble. Everything around her was muffled.
In her haze, she felt a hand tugging at her arm. Looking up, she realized it was Hank, motioning towards his office.
She felt herself nod and set into motion, following after her former sergeant.
He closed the blinds after she shut the door behind herself.
Whether it was to stop the others from watching or just to give her the feeling of security and privacy she knew he knew she didn't have with them open, she didn't know.
She was grateful either way.
Hank looked at her.
She had seen that expression so many times on his face, had lost count how many times it had been directed at her.
The first time she was a teenager. 14 years old, barely anything but skin and bones, trying to get money.
Now here she was. Years later. An adult. And still, it felt like she was in that situation again.
Helpless, not knowing what to do.
She'd go with Jay tonight.
Home.
How did she feel about that?
She didn't know.
"It's really good to see you, Erin," he said.
Something in his voice made her look up.
Maybe the tension. Or the relief.
"Spencer said the next mission would be more complex than the last ones. Her words, not mine.
She gave me a few days off. I have to be back on Monday but I thought it would be-. I don't know. I didn't think it would be this hard."
She bit her lip, digging her teeth so hard into it, she almost drew blood.
"Did you think it would be easy?"
She blinked, shaking her head.
"Easier, maybe, but not easy," Then she added, silently, hoping he wouldn't hear. "Nothing seems to be easy when it comes to him."
If he had heard her, he didn't give any indication.
"I've told you a few times already, but you didn't see him these last few months, Erin. He was a wreck without you. I wasn't always supportive of you two, I know that and I regret it."
Her eyes widened the fraction of an inch. She had been surprised when he'd finally given his okay all those years ago. But him admitting that he regretted not doing it earlier? That was new.
"He made you happy. All those years I've known you, I've never seen you like that. It was the first time you completely trusted someone other than me or Camille."
She sighed a little, sinking a little deeper into the uncomfortable chair in front of the desk.
She knew he was right. She had trusted the team, sure, but that was in a professional manner. They knew some of her history, that she had a difficult childhood and about Bunny.
Jay was the only one who knew all of it though. He had found a way into her heart and she had let him because she wanted him there.
"He messed up, kid, I know that, but you have to at least talk to him. What you've been doing these last few months only hurt both of you."
He leaned forward over the desk, taking her hand in his, squeezing it gently.
She blinked at him, swallowed hard, then nodded.
"I'm going with him tonight. You're right, I do have to talk to him. I just don't know what to say to him after everything I did.
He may have been the one who walked out on me but he was still there you know. More distant, maybe, but he was there.
Me on the other hand," she smiled sadly and shook her head a little. "I left without so much as a call. I wrote him a stupid letter, Hank. A letter. After everything-," she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
There was the familiar burn of tears, but she shook her head and took a deep breath that did nothing to calm her nerves.
"I don't know what'll come out of this talk tonight but can I come over after? Just in case-," she trailed off when he nodded.
"I've told you before: that's your home too. For as long as you want it to be," he squeezed her hand again, before taking a look at his watch.
He stood and she followed suit, leaving the office first. She watched as he leaned against the door frame, watching the others in the bullpen and the motion was so familiar something tugged at her heart painfully.
"I think you've done enough paperwork for the day," she heard him say and six pairs of surprised eyes locked on him, hers included.
He was doing this for her, she knew, but still, her mind was going into overdrive as she gave him a greatful smile.
This talk wasn't going to be easy.
Hey,
and here I am with chapter 10. My, my how time flies by. My summer started this week so I'm going to have more time to write these next 5 and a half weeks. I hope I can give you more to read then.
Hope you like this chapter and don't forget to review.