I have been an awful updater this summer. I've been really busy with holidays and work and over the last week I've been really unwell so please forgive me for not updating sooner. Also, my laptop got broken so I'm sharing my mum's laptop with her and my brother which makes finding time difficult.
I do hope you're still reading and enjoying this and please continue to let me know your thoughts on the story via review or PM. I do try my best to reply to my reviews and to those who are visitors, every review is really important to me so thank you.
Also, anyone who is reading my other DuMardle story, I shall be updating that soon.
I apologise now for how short this one is and that it only continues on from the last chapter but I've had writers block so I thought a little bit would be better than nothing at all. The next chapter will be longer and things will develop more. Please review and let me know what you think.
Slowly opening the door as she clung tightly onto the handle, Josie nervously bit into her lip. She hated the sound of him in pain. She hated how distressed he sounded, how much worse it got as she pushed the door open further and stepped into the dark room. Looking across in the general direction of his bed, Josie bit into her lip even harder, the sound of Florian's moans of pain echoing around the room while she stood in complete silence. She hated that the man who she did care about, no matter how she behaved or what he thought, was in pain again.
"Florian," Josie said quietly, approaching the bed in silence before sitting down on the edge and slowly reaching out, her hand stopping before it reached his face. She could see her hand shaking while he continued to toss and turn beside her, distressed moans leaving his mouth. He sounded like he was being tortured, he sounded like he was in more agony than he had suffered from his previous nightmares. Breathing out slowly, the brunette forced herself to brush her fingers across his cheek, feeling the sweat that covered his skin as he continued to toss and turn. She desperately wanted to comfort him, to make all the nightmares disappear. He didn't deserve to be haunted like this. He hadn't deserved any of the things that had happened to him and he also didn't deserve to have fallen in love with a woman who couldn't allow herself to return his affections. "Florian, wake up," Josie called out, her other hand moving to rest against his shoulder, applying pressure to his body to stop him from tossing and turning. She had to calm him down before waking him, it was impossible to wake him up if he was still thrashing about in the bed. "Florian," Josie called out, continuing to brush her fingers against his cheek as she stared down at his face for the first time. "Florian," she almost begged, taking in the complete agony that covered every corner of his young face, her fingers continuing to brush away the mix of tears and sweat. "Florian," she whispered, surprised when his eyes suddenly opened and he began to pant, sitting up as she remained perfectly still beside him, her hands now pushed away from his body as he leant over and desperately tried to control his breathing. "Florian," Josie whispered, her hand moving to rest against his back, the touch shocking him, He hadn't even noticed that there was someone else in the room with him. "You are safe here," Josie insisted, her fingers moving from his back to rest against his shoulder again before she gently pushed him back against the pillows, his eyes focusing on her as she smiled weakly.
"I…." Florian began almost silently, shocked that she was here with him. He was shocked that she was near him, touching him, talking to him. She didn't seem nervous to be around him at the moment, even though she'd spent the rest of the day avoiding him. Standing slowly, Josie looked at him again as she took in the worried look that suddenly appeared on his face. "What..." he attempted again, falling silent when she slowly moved towards the bedroom door and left the room, his eyes shutting in disappointment, Perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps she was still nervous around. He had probably disturbed her and she had come to him to wake him up before disappearing again, leaving him in the silence of his bedroom. He didn't know what he had wanted from having her in the room but he had hoped she would stay, hoped that she would stay with him like she had done before. Breathing out again, Florian slowly opened his eyes to look up at the ceiling. His nightmare still remained in his mind, haunting him even when he was awake. It hadn't been the usual nightmare, the terrifying dream of how his family had died. Instead, it was something new, something that seemed to scare him even more than the idea of his family dying. Hearing the door open again, confusion covered Florian's face as he looked across to see Josie walking into the room again, a tray in her hands.
"I thought you might want something to drink," Josie explained, resting the tray on his bedside table before removing the cup of tea and passing it to him, his hands shaking as he took it from her. She could tell that he was still shaken up from his nightmare, while he sat up and took a sip of the warm liquid.
"Thank you," Florian said quietly, grateful for the comfort of the drink, Josie's head shaking in response, not knowing what to do now. She felt awkward, standing in his room. She didn't know what was best for her to do now. She didn't know whether it was acceptable for her to comfort him, seeing that she now understood his feelings for her, or whether she should leave him to deal with whatever had upset him alone. "Sit," Florian suddenly suggested, interrupting her thoughts as surprise covered her face, his comment forcing her to look at him. "Sit, please," Florian whispered, his hand resting on the space beside him as she continued to watch him. It wasn't proper for her to sit beside a young man who had feelings for her while only dressed in her thin nightgown.
"I shouldn't," Josie muttered, her voice almost silent while her focus remained on him. She was desperate to stay beside him, to comfort the young musician who had become a close friend to her since his arrival to London. "I…" Josie began before falling silent again, watching as his hands brushed across his face, horror decorating it moments later at the feel of sweat that covered his face. "Wait," Josie ordered, disappearing out of the room again before appearing again with a jug in her hands, confusion appearing on the musicians face as Josie suddenly dampened a nearby towel and approached him. "Trust me?" Josie asked quietly, smiling weakly when Florian nodded and watched her, almost nervously, when she brushed the wet towel against his face.
"Why are you doing this?" Florian suddenly asked, shocking them both with his question. He hadn't planned on asking her that but it had slipped out before he could stop himself from questioning her. Of course he trusted her, he trusted her more than anyone in the world, but he was confused about why the woman who had been avoiding him all day was suddenly trying to care for him. Watching her as she remained completely silent, her focus solely on the task she was doing, Florian felt his frustration growing. She couldn't do this! She couldn't ignore him one day and then be caring towards him the next. "Miss Mardle," he snapped, shocking them both when his hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her movement and causing her to finally look into his eyes. He wouldn't even call her by her first name anymore and she hated the way Miss Mardle now sounded, hated to hear him call her that. "You can't do this."
"Florian," Josie whispered, her eyes glancing at his hold of her wrist before focusing again on him.
"You can't pretend that I do not exist one moment and then do this," he declared, his frustration obvious as the older woman moved away from him slightly, shocked that the musician was yet to let go of her hand. "Why are you doing this?" he asked, his voice full of anger and frustration and the smallest amount of hope. Hope that she had changed her mind, hope that she was no longer going to pretend that he hadn't told her about his feelings, hadn't held her close to his body and touched her lips with his. Even though it was the tiniest amount of hope, he desperately wanted her to be open about what there was between them because there was something. He had felt it in the way her hands had run through his hair and how she had responded to his touch. She hadn't immediately pulled away, she had given in briefly, allowed herself to feel what she must truly want. In that brief moment, she hadn't hidden from him. She had been Josie rather than the Miss Mardle he had dealt with since. "It has been made clear that you do not…" he began.
"Do not what?" Josie immediately responded before standing up, the suddenness of her movement forcing him to let go of her wrist. "You think I do not care about you?" Josie asked, staring at him as she crossed her arms around her chest, watching as he shook his head in exhaustion.
"You have made it very clear to me that you do not," Florian muttered as Josie sighed before slowly moving to sit on the edge of his bed, her hand immediately taking hold of his. She hated that he felt like that towards her, that he believed she did not care. She cared for him more than she should, more than she could allow. She had to stop him from loving her, she was doing this because she did care. She wanted him to be happy, to have the best future after all the pain he had gone through and that future was not with her at his side. It was inappropriate, it was wrong for there to be anything between them but friendship.
"I do care," Josie whispered, suddenly nervous as she brought his hand to her lips and gently kissed his knuckles. "I am doing this because I care about you, however difficult you find that to believe," she insisted, finding the confidence to look him while he continued to stare at her.
"Why? Why are you doing this? Why are you hiding how you really feel?" he asked quietly, his free hand moving to take hold of hers as he sat up properly, creating less space between them as she bit nervously into her lip. "I know that you feel something, I felt it when we…"
"Don't," Josie warned, interrupting him and causing him to fall silent. "Please don't," she begged.
"We kissed Josie, I kissed you and you kissed back. You can't pretend that it didn't happen because it did," he declared, not surprised when she let go of his hands and moved away from the bed, her back facing him as she looked towards the curtain drawn windows. "You've admitted that you care, why can't you just admit that you feel something for me?" he asked, his question making her turn to look at him in shock. "You can't keep hiding from your feelings, from how you feel for me Josie," Florian stated, his body moving out of the bed while Josie moved towards the door, her hand hovering over the handle while Florian remained perfectly still, watching her. Why did she have to hide how she felt? Why couldn't she be open with him? Why couldn't she let them be happy together?
"I care about you and that is why I am doing this, you have to understand that. I am doing this for us, for you," Josie stated before opening the door and leaving his room, shutting it behind her before she breathed out. Covering her hand with her mouth, Josie glanced across the dark hallway before shaking her head and moving towards her room.
She just had to hope that Florian would understand one day and move on.
Thoughts? I know it's short and not brilliant but hopefully you enjoyed it.
If you have anything you want to happen, let me know and I will try and get it into the story.