I slept most of the train ride back home.
The morning was a blurr. I think I went to bed around maybe five o'clock. Then I woke up three hours later for the train ride. Well Lily shook me awake, but still.
For the most part, I slept. Then Chase found me and we were once again engrossed in each other. Our farewell before the holidays.
But that guilty part of me reminded me that I almost kissed Sirius Black.
When that thought came to mind, I promptly stopped the kiss and said I had to use the bathroom. All signs points to: delusion!!! Did i just stop an amazing kiss with an infamously sexy man because I might of kissed another MORE infamously sexy man? Am I not just standing in a bathroom for the remainder of the journey because I don't want to kiss an infamously sexy man because I think about ANOTHER MORE infamously sexy man? How many times am I going to say INFAMOUSLY SEXY MAN???
infamously sexy man...infamously sexy man....infamously sexy man....infamously(Chase)....sexy(Sirius. No Chase)...man(Chase and Sirius).
Yep. Completely insane and delusional. If this doesn't subside soon, my parents are going to send me to St. Mungo's for the holidays.
I took a deep breath and was about to open my stall when someone else entered.
"Unbelieveable," a familiar voice said.
"Yep. You should have seen her. I mean she was hot and all, but wow. That kind of dancing shouldn't be allowed." I knew this voice too. But I can't really remember...and who were they talking about?
"Well she was probably still high. That could be an excuse, but still. It's my brother she cheated on." Were they talking about...
me??? Wait. Oh
"...and you should have seen they way they were looking at each other..."
My
"...so are you going to tell Chase?"
EFFING GOD!!!! Just no way. THERE IS NO WAY!!! HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE????
Rose was talking to Sandra? ROSE IS A COMPLETE LOSER!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!
"I might. But I could get my way with her before I do so." Sandra said. So my roomate ratted me out to Sandra? Sandra Werth? Popular, sluttly, pothead Werth? Wasn't I just sharing a joint wth her like...not even eight hours ago?! That two face, backstabbing bitch!
So, in my fit of rage, I just realized that my roomate, Rose, just told Sandra, Chase's sister, that I hot-sex-like danced with Sirius Black last night. Why would she tell Sandra? Like she even knew me? Or her for that matter? What in the world....
"So what now? What are you going to do?" This was Rose talking. I looked through a little crack in the stall and saw a worshipping expression on her face. Rose is a lot of things, annoying and wierd being the reasons I don't bother with her. But this? This desperation is just...uh awkward. How can one person degrade themselves like that? And my Remy was dancing with her...
Wait a sec. Could Rose be jealous of me because of my friendship with Remus? Is that it? Well, maybe not. But that was all I had to go on.
I leaned a littler closer to the crack and watched the two. You can get a lot of body language. Like I said, Rose was worshipping Sandra. Her eyes were bright and her hands were clenched together. She also kept glancing around her, but all the while she stared adoringly at Sandra. Ick. Like some lesbian lover.
EW!!! GROSS!! Omg! Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought!!! Negative images!
"ugh!" I said aloud and squirmed. Oh shit. Sandra turned sharply. I stepped back and opened up the door. Rose looked shocked, and Sandra...well she was equipped to handle these situations.
"Well, well, well. Looks like the little slut decided to come out after all." Sandra smiled, and placed her hands on her hips.
"Yes, Sandra. You would know all about sluttiness, seeing how your the queen of it. But how exactly am i a slut?" I quirked an eyebrow. If Sandra was offended by my words, she didn't show it.
"Please. The whole of Gryffindor saw you and Sirius last night. It's no wonder you didn't have sex with him. Your gross. So you fuck my brother and then go and do my ex? Wow."
"No, what's amazing is that you actually believe this piece of vermin," I pointed to Rose who flinched. "Nontheless, I haven't had sex with your brother nor Sirius nor anyone else for that matter. So go shove that in your-" Sandra completely cut me off.
"Do you take me as stupid? Hello? Chase told me you and him did it." WHAT????? "And do you know the only reason he went out with you is because of Regulus?"
"I fail to see how Regulus fits into this." I would like to scrape up whatever dignity I had left, but I was burned. So is this what people thought of me? Not just as a pothead drunk, but as a sleep around whore?
You may ask me, in the middle of this, what did I specify what a whore is?
Well my friend, I will tell you this: there are two kinds of whores. The first one is a general whore. She makes out in broom closets with random boys, and if you are her boyfriend, you are guaranteed sex. The next is a sleep around whore. You don't need any relationships with this one.
And that is exactly what this is. Because I just realized that Chase and I were never a couple. He never formally asked me, nor I him. We were just make out buddies, his flavor of the month.
Perhaps that, above all other things, should make me not care about this situation. I was stupid not to notice it before. Why should I feel guilty about 'cheating' on a 'hook-up'? Will this world ever make sense?
"Because, Kat, he told almost every guy just how easy you are." Slapped, right in the face.
Two points to the men. Negative five million to Katrina. I drew in a breath to calmly relay my epiphany to Sandra.
"Does it matter, though? Chase and I were never together. We just made out. Friends with benefits." Sandra faltered some, and another realization hit me in the face. "But this isn't about me. This is about you. You're jealous because i danced with your ex-boyfriend whom you still have feelings for." She flinched. JACKPOT!!! "So suck up the pride you still have and move on. It is obvious he has." Sandra was silent, affected by my words. I took this pause to move on to Rose who shook at the mere gesture.
"And Rose," I placed my hand on her shoulder which made her jump. "Rose, I would just like to specify that Remus and I aren't into each other...like that, Okay? Just nod, so I know you are processing all of this and not shitting your pants." She nodded and Sandra scoffed. "That was the good news. The bad news is seeing how you went and told Sandra all about my...escapades, I highly doubt Remus will have any interest in you. If he did, one talk with me will change everything." I pitied her. How hopeless is she? Is she really tearing up about this? Puh-lease.
Get Real.
"Well as if this hasn't been pleasant enough." I nodded at Sandra and Rose, the former glaring at me like there was no tomorrow. I gave her a pained smile. "I'm sure you will hear more about me...very soon." With these last words, I left, en route to the back carriage where I knew a certain boy will b4e. All my anger from the last time engulfed me. I knew Sirius would not be there this time to stop me from making a mistake. I suppressed a shudder, and clenched my shaking hands. This is bound to turn out ugly, very fast.
"Dear, cousin, do tell me, how has your term been?" A proper, firm voice echoed out of the last carriage. I cringed. Although I am a pure-blood, I am what you called a blood traitor. My father never did agree with my Grandpop's lifestyle. So when he went and married my mother, whose last name was a disgrace to the whole wizarding community, he was promptly disinherited from the family, and scorched off the family tree. Luckily, my father was an excellent Healer and was working fulltime almost three years out of Hogwarts.
I never noticed how different we were. After all, I am in Gryffindor where the blood-traitors are all friends. But it is times like these when I realize the choice my father made. And Thank the sweet Merlin he did.
"Just splendid, dear," Oh God gag me. Can you be more stereotypical? At least act like you don't have a billion galleons, and something stuck up your nose. No seriously. When they talk, it sounds like some ointment or something was pushed up there. Maybe their parents did it to them when they were born, so they could talk all proper and shit. I wouldn't doubt it.
I snickered. This was going to be cake. And I do love my cake.
I slid open the compartment door to blank stares and confusion. Their thoughts was so obvious: What was a blood traitor doing in here? Just give me a break. I spotted my fair-haired man quickly and smiled.
"Regulus, my darling," He rose an eyebrow and stood.
"What do you want, blood traitor?" He said loftily, earning a few laughs out of this. Was this the best he could do???
"You didn't call me blood-traitor when we shared a bed." A slight air of confusion entranced him and I moved on. "But surely, you are not telling everyone that, dear? Because it wasn't blood traitor at all. It was more like baby, sweetie, sexy." I winked at him. An epiphany hit him and he scowled. "But oh wait. I'm mistaking you for your brother. Right. Now I remember."
"What do you want, Heartfaw?"
"So now we are on last name terms, Black? I see how it is. Use me for sex and leave me. Sounds about right." He stepped closer to me and I couldn't help but remember what happened the last time we were this close....those memories needed to be burned.
"Again, what do you want?"
"I just wanted to know what was going threw your mind when you told everyone that we slept together?" I smiled.
"Don't act like we didn't." Is he for real?
"And don't act like we did. Because why would I go to you after I had your brother? Didn't this end because you found out about us? So tell me, Black, because I really want to know, why would you spread rumors about us?"
"Katrina I really wouldn't test my patience," He said, sneering. I stepped ever so close to him, and...growled. Yep no kid. He looked shocked.
"This isn't even about you, dumbass. Because I know, almost all to well, about your bet. Don't even deny it," He didn't. "I'm warning you, if you keep saying shit about me, you will wake up in St. Mungo's, not even remembering your own name." Always so calm, he rose and eyebrow. And that's what threw me over the edge.
"Am I supposed to be afraid of a blood traitor?" He quipped. I looked around me, at all those faces. Every single one of them was mocking. So what I did next I would never regret.
I pulled my fist back and it landed right smack dab in Regulus' nose. A mild scream and blood spurted everywhere. His friends were around him in a second. I, on the other hand, upon realizing the intensity of this situation, pulled the door opened and ran out. Some heads popped out in the corridor, wondering what that scream was.
Then I found a safe compartment. Well...from Regulus, not from my heated anger.
"Katrina," A silk like voice came from behind me. I looked around and saw Sirius, which made me jump. He smirked and nodded. "Always a pleasure." I looked around and noticed that none of the Maurauders were in here. So it was just me and Sirius. All alone. And after last nights events, this wasn't a very good idea.
"So I just punched your brother in his face and made it sound like you and I had some affair. But he already knew that." I was all breathless, ragged. Sweat was coming off of my forhead and my hands were calmy. Gross. I robbed them on my jeans and sat the furtherest away from Sirius and the door.
"Nice. I've always wanted to do that. Tell me, was that the scream I heard?" So maybe the scream wasn't so mild, seeing as Sirius had heard it and he was in a different carriage.
"Yes," I said, still breathy. Sirius definitly noticed this, and he daringly stood up and moved next to me.
Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. Some one. Save me!!! He's too close. No no no. Air goes in and carbon dioxide comes out. In and out. In and out. Omg now I have to think about sex? In the presence of a sex god? Why are you being cruel to me God? Why? What did I ever do to you? Breathe. No, don't hold your breath. DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH!!! And do not act like something is wrong. No don't look in him the eye.
Oops. Too late. Eyes are locked. Was he saying something?
"..time this all happened?" He said.
"I'm sorry. What did you just say?" Was I seriously heaving? No seriously? Because it was just way to obvious that I was having a panic attack. BREATHE!!!
"i said, do you remember what I said to you, the last time you almost fought Regulus?" And the answer was: yes. Oh-ho yes. Was there ever a string of words that I would so easily forget? Because his lasting impression on me was that sooner or later I would be his. I would choose the latter because right now, I think my lungs stopped working.
"Umm...maybe a little," I lied. So what? We all lie. Everyone lies. Everyone. Right? RIGHT? OMG am I seriously questioning this now? Of all times?
"I think you do remember. Otherwise, what are you doing here?" What am I doing here?
"Well, I thought this compartment was empty, because Regulus had a lot of friends and all. I ran in here to be safe." Talking just made me worse. Just shut up, right now Katrina Heartfaw or you are not eating your mother's Christmas cake.
And I do love my cake. I smiled. Wait? No. Don't smile. Sirius was looking at me now. Calculating. Why was he always looking at me like that?
"Why do you always look at me like that?" I voiced my thoughts.
"Like what?" He asked, thoroughly confused.
"Like you're always trying to figure something out. And you do it all the time." I said and threw up my hands.
"But don't you rememeber what I said?" He asked, yet again.
"I said yes. Now why do you keep asking?" What was he even referring to? What part of it?
"Because I was wrong. So very wrong." He got up and left the compartment. But about which part was he wrong about?
The part where he thought I'd come to him eventually?
Or the part where he figured me out?
WOW! This story is getting a lot of views and I would like to thank my reviewers, again, because you are oh so awesome!!!!
Lovelovelove,
Megg