Chapter 8
Confessions

The night landscape was well lit by the thousands of stars that seemed closer than ever. Two she-cats pressed through the undergrowth of the silent night forest; both were young, graceful, with finely shaped heads and stars in their silver furs. Pushing through brackens, they came to a wide valley with a river winding through it.

"This always reminds me of the place where I first met Greystripe... the place where I gave birth to you and Stormfur," the firstcat meowed. They padded to the shore, looking at the water reflecting the glittering stars above. "When I died, I thought that one day, I would be reunited with Greystripe, here in StarClan. But now, as he was taken away from the Clans, I fear I will never see him again."

Her companion, an even younger cat padded forward to join her, looking around to take in the night landscape. Suddenly, something caught her attention – a wall of dark mist in the distance, shrouding the distant hills. She breathed in sharply; she heard about the wall of mist that made up the border of the Place of No Stars, and glanced it several times in the distance while walking in remote corners of the sky – but never saw it here. It seemed that the Dark Forest was expanding, conquering StarClan's hunting grounds.

The other cat glanced up, her eyes also spotting on the dark mist in the distance. "That can't be... we must warn the others right away."

The trying adventures of the recent days took their toll on me, and I spent half of the next day sleeping in the medicine cat's den. "The more you rest, the sooner you'll find your paws," Leafpool advised as she brought me some bitter herbs and a bundle of moss soaked in water. She and Mothwing took good care of me, and I could feel the energy returning to my body with each passing moment. Sandstorm was slowly recovering too; she was already conscious, although she did not have enough strength yet to get up.

Firestar, Squirrelflight and even Goldenflower visited the den several times, checking up on both my and Sandstorm's condition. Squirrelflight dropped in to share tongues with me after she returned from dawn patrol, recounting what did the patrols find. Everything seemed to be in order, with no news about ShadowClan or RiverClan trying to make a move.

At sunhigh, I finally felt enough strength to return to my warrior duties. Leafpool was on the same opinion. "You can go on patrols, or even hunting, but be careful and do not tire yourself for a couple of days," she advised.

I got to my paws and gave a long stretch, then began grooming my unkempt pelt with thorough licks.

"Actually, Brambleclaw, there is a thing you can help me with," Mothwing meowed. "Can you show me around the ThunderClan grounds, so I will know where to gather herbs, and where to hunt? Leafpool would do it, but she has her paws full. As long as I am in ThunderClan, I wish to be able to help out where I can, but I don't know the territory."

"Of course," I replied. "But I don't know much about herbs... I never paid much attention."

"Mothwing will recognize them, just show her around," Leafpool purred, flicking her tail over my ears as me and my sister padded to the entrance and pressed through the curtain of tendrils. The rains had passed; the sun was shining between lazily roaming clouds, bathing the hollow in light and warmth.

Brackenfur and Dustpelt were the first to spot me, and the golden tabby signalled for us to join them by the fresh-kill pile. "Brambleclaw, it is nice to see that you are recovering," he meowed as I sat down next to them and took a magpie from the pile. "I sent out the dawn patrols; do you want to take care of the sunset ones?"

"You can carry on with them for today," I replied. "Thanks a lot for helping me out. I am leaving for a short walk, to show Mothwing where to find some herbs we need."

Brackenfur nodded. Dustpelt opened his mouth as if to make a comment about warriors with divided loyalties revealing our territory to a cat from an enemy Clan, but eventually he just meowed "All right. Take care." There was no trace of hostility or reproach in his tone; still, there had been a lingering tension between us since the day before.

The next moment, Squirrelflight appeared from the direction of the warriors' den and bounded up to us with her bushy tail held straight up. "Great to see that you are finally up! I thought we could go on a hunting patrol... want to come?"

"Actually, Brambleclaw promised to show me around on the territory," Mothwing broke in before I could reply, and I nodded after some hesitation. Even if I longed to go hunting with Squirrelflight, I first wanted to keep my promise to my half-sister. After the hostile welcome, she needed every support a cat could give her.

"Oh... all right," the flame-coloured warrior meowed crossly, her tail drooping, a flash of distrust in her eyes as she glanced at Mothwing. "Suit yourselves, then." She turned around and called out to Whitewing, then pelted away in the direction of the thorn tunnel with her friend.

Before we left the camp, I stopped by the nursery to see how Blaze was doing. Blazekit, I reminded myself. He was sleeping soundly on the soft nest under the large bramble thicket, together with Sorreltail's kits, pressed against each other. The dappled queen was watching over them, curling her body around the five kits protectively. She raised her head sleepily and waved her tail in greeting.

"He has been sleeping since yesterday, the journey really exhausted him," Mothwing meowed as we continued in the direction of the camp entrance, then slipped through the tunnel and emerged in the newleaf forest. "But he seems to be all right; I checked him several times today."

"How do others treat him?" I asked. I was afraid that most cats would be hostile to a kittypet.

"Every cat loves him," my sister assured me, and I let out a small sigh of relief. "The queens take good care of him, and the warriors admire his bravery. He will have a place in ThunderClan."

We started off towards the WindClan border, and padded at a brisk pace. The newleaf forest was flooded with sunshine, the green lushness almost bright enough to hurt our eyes. I kept showing Mothwing the landmarks of the territory, offering advice about hunting, and telling short stories about what happened at various places.

The medicine cat was more interested in the herbs, though – flowers were in full bloom everywhere, and she stopped frequently to take a look at a plant and explain me what it was and how to use it. "You can never know when it will be useful," she meowed when she saw that I was not paying much attention. "You can be on your own, when your knowledge of herbs could mean the difference between life and death."

On my own. Uneasiness crept along my spine like invisible claws as I remembered what Leafpool told about some quest I was supposed to undertake with a handful of other cats. A quest... like some long and dangerous journey, where every bit of knowledge could mean the difference between life and death?

Pressing ourselves through dense bracken, we emerged in a sunlit glade that I knew well from my hunting patrols. It was covered with sweet-smelling grass and patches of small, bright yellow flowers. "That is... marigold, is it not?" I asked.

"Indeed, it is." The medicine cat was satisfied that I finally managed to recognize something. "The petals and leaves are chewed and applied to wounds to stop infection. It blooms from mid-newleaf to early leaf-fall in sunny places," she explained, and I tried to memorize it. "I wonder if we should gather some for Leafpool; she is running low on it," she mused, halting in her walk.

"Well, she did not tell us to bring her anything," I remarked, stopping next to her. The warm sunshine was melting into my fur, and I arched my back in satisfaction.

"Indeed, but I would like to help her out where I can," Mothwing replied. "Leafpool is one of the few cats in ThunderClan who are friendly to me. The others... well, they are not openly hostile, but I know that I am not welcome here. And I heard what Spiderleg said... it seems that cats will always associate me with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost."

"Some cats are like that, but most are sensible," I reassured my sister, comforting her with gentle licks. "I went through the same; every cat saw Tigerstar in me, but I proved them wrong and found my place in the Clan. They will accept you as well."

"It is not the same. You belong to the Clan, while I am only a refugee." Her whiskers twitched. "I don't know what will I do. I cannot return to RiverClan while most of their warriors want me dead. I guess I will be a rogue again."

"You will have a place here," I encouraged her, continuing to groom her soft, golden pelt. "You are a ThunderClan cat by heritage. Our father was a ThunderClan warrior through and through, even if he spent the last moons of his life in ShadowClan. And... you can always count on me, you know. I will be there for you."

She closed her eyes, pressing her pelt against mine, and I wrapped my body around hers. I was grateful for her presence – after Tawnypelt had left for ShadowClan, there was always a stinging emptiness in my heart, and Mothwing's company filled a part of that void.

"We should go on," I suggested, and we entered the shadowy forest. It took my eyes several moments to get accustomed to the darkness, after the sunlit clearing. The trees got denser; huge grey trunks covered by moss and ivy.

Suddenly, I smelled the scent of prey, and it reminded me how hungry I was. Stepping around a trunk, I spotted a mouse at a distance of several foxlengths, nibbling at an acorn, half-hidden in the undergrowth. Warning my companion with a wave of my tail, I glided around several more tree trunks as silently as I could, putting one paw after another, trying to get enough close to it while keeping outside its range of vision.

Measuring the distance, I crouched and took off in a long leap, landing with one paw on the mouse's back, pinning it down. However, a sharp jolt of pain cut through my body as I hit the ground, my healing wounds protesting against the exertion, and as I stumbled, the creature managed to wriggle itself free and run away. "Mouse dung," I hissed through gritted teeth. Then I saw a flash of golden fur as Mothwing jumped forth to pounce on the mouse, killing it instantly with a swipe of her paw. She looked at me triumphantly.

"Wow, good catch," I admitted, surprised. "I though RiverClan cats can only catch fish," I teased her.

"Not really," Mothwing replied. "Anyway, my mother taught me hunting, before I and Hawkfrost joined RiverClan. She taught us how to hunt, how to fight. I wanted to become a warrior, but later I ended up as a medicine cat apprentice."

She would have made a great warrior – she was strong, muscular, her movements fast and graceful. "StarClan destined you to be a medicine cat," I remarked. I heard from Hawkfrost how Mudfur had found the moth's wing at the entrance of his den.

"No. There is no such thing as StarClan," she snorted. "It's just a tale for kits."

I looked at her, my jaw dropping in surprise. I knew not all cats believed in StarClan – but a medicine cat? One that was supposed to share tongues with the ancestors, interpreting their messages, asking them for help and advice?

Mothwing looked at me defensively when she saw my stricken expression. "I know what you must think. But I still can be a good medicine cat, can't I? I know all the herbs, and can help my fellow Clanmates. No cat knows I don't believe in them... only Leafpool. And now, you."

Her trust in me warmed my heart, but I still could not pull myself together. "But... what about the prophecies that guided us? The Great Journey? Did the Clans found their new home by coincidence?"

"It might have been exactly that," she meowed. "After all, there are many places fit for the Clans; no matter in which direction we went, we could have found one sooner or later. Maybe even a better one." She was quiet for a few moments, but seeing that I would not agree, she continued. "I thought I believed in them when I was an apprentice – even though they never sent me dreams. I thought the moth's wing was a sign from them. But it turned out that it was Hawkfrost who put it outside Mudfur's den. That knowledge put an end to my belief."

I sighed, a feeling of bitterness invading my soul. Hawkfrost. After all atrocities he had committed against the Clans, he also shattered the faith of my sister in his quest for power.

We shared the fresh-kill, then continued our trip across the dense forest, the faint tension between us gradually dissolving. "We should hunt on the way home," Mothwing suggested. "So that the warriors won't say we idled our time away." I murmured agreement, remembering with a pang of guilt that I did not even ask Firestar if we could leave.

By the time we were on our way back to the camp, laden with fresh-kill, twilight has already begun to deepen the shadows of the forest. As we came upon another small clearing, I stopped in my tracks as memories came rushing back. It was here where I saved Squirrelflight and Ashfur from the jaws of a fox, about one moon ago.

Mothwing looked around, not knowing why did I stop, and I explained. "A fox almost killed Squirrelflight on this clearing. We managed to chase it away, and she recovered quickly, but I had nightmares for a quarter moon."

"You are very close to her, aren't you?" Mothwing observed; it was rather a remark than a question.

"Well... we had our share of disagreements, but we always made up, and we care about each other," I replied. "I could say that she is my best friend in the whole Clan."

"Friend?" Mothwing asked in mock surprise. "Come on, Brambleclaw, any cat can see you are deeply in love with her."

A wave of heat ran through me, realizing that what Mothwing said was true – there was no other she-cat I could imagine spending the rest of my life with. "You are probably right," I admitted as we left the clearing behind and continued padding in the direction of the camp.

The next day I already resumed my deputy duties, leading one of the dawn patrols myself, following the ShadowClan border and renewing the markers along the stream.

After returning and listening to the reports of the senior warriors, I checked if everything was all right in the camp, and if the elders and queens were fed. Blazekit saw me and bounded out of the nursery, tail curled up.

"Hi Brambleclaw," he greeted me, brushing his soft fur against my forelegs. "When can we finally do some training and exploring? Will you be my mentor? I am already bored of staying under this bush."

"He will be my mentor," another voice sounded, Berrykit appearing in the entrance, beaming with pride. "Firestar told yesterday that I would be an apprentice in less than one moon's time."

Mentor. Leafpool's words about the quest echoed again in my mind. Going on a quest... does that mean I have to give up my place in the Clan, and never be a mentor? And resign as a deputy – the position I fought for for so long?

"Blazekit, I know you can take care of yourself," I replied, "but you cannot leave the camp until you are six moons old." The kit pulled a long face. "But it is not that boring here. You will play with the other kits, listen to the tales of queens and elders, and learn a lot about Clan code and history."

Rainwhisker padded up to me, followed by several other cats, and reminded me that we should hold another training session in the mossy hollow for the warriors, as we did two days before. I supervised the training, even though I did not fight; then I led a border parol at sunhigh, checking the ShadowClan border again. Streaks of clouds started to roll in, and shadows danced on the undergrowth as the sun was covered behind white swirls, then revealed again.

By the time I returned to the camp, my paws were falling off. I longed to take a good rest on Squirrelflight's side – we did not yet have the chance that day to spend some time with each other – but Leafpool had another thing in mind.

"Sorreltail needs some borage and water mint, but I don't have any remaining, so we need to restock," she meowed as she checked if my wound was healing well. "I cannot leave Sandstorm's side, but Mothwing offered to go and gather some. However, the herbs are found only close to the ShadowClan border, and it would be dangerous for a cat to go alone – Firestar expects more raids from them. Since you are one of the warriors who get along well with her, you should escort her."

"Of course," I meowed. Even though I was tired, I could not ignore her request – indeed, I was one of the few cats Mothwing could trust.

"I'm coming too," Thornclaw called as he bounded up to joined us. "Three cats are better than two." I agreed; he was also one of those few who already made friends with my sister.

As I looked around the stone hollow for the last time before slipping through the thorn tunnel, my sight was caught by the accusing gleam of a pair of green eyes in the dark depth of the warrior's den. I considered returning – Thornclaw was escorting Mothwing anyway – but I remembered the promise I made to my sister. Sighing, I turned around to follow her.

We started out in a quick pace, the golden medicine cat leading the patrol and us two following her from a short distance. Once we arrived, Mothwing started to gather tall stems with small, star-shaped flowers, helped out by Thornclaw. I was standing guard, ears pricked and muscles tensed – but no ShadowClan menace came.

The sun was setting by the time we returned to the camp, Mothwing and Thornclaw pelting off to carry bundles of herbs to the medicine cat's den, while I dropped two starlings I caught on the small fresh-kill pile.

I glanced around and spotted Squirrelflight and Whitewing emerging from the warriors' den and moving towards the camp entrance, obviously to leave on a late hunting patrol. The ginger warrior was looking worried and morose; her nervousness likely caused by her mother's condition. Remembering that I kind of neglected her through the hectic events of the past few days, I walked up to greet them, but she gave me a cold stare. "Will you move out of the way, you big lump," she growled, pushing past me.

I turned to follow her. "Squirrelflight, what is the problem? I thought we could go on a hunting patrol, or..."

"Why don't you go with your precious Mothwing instead, and leave me alone? You care only about her lately," she snapped, darting away and disappearing through the thorn tunnel.

I could not believe my ears. Squirrelflight was jealous of Mothwing! Of course I cared about my sister. She was nearly killed by the RiverClan warriors, distrusted in ThunderClan, her faith in StarClan crushed. I was the only cat she could trust and lean on, and it was me who took responsibility when she was accepted by Firestar in our Clan.

The warriors in the clearing stared at me. "I think you should go after her," Whitewing meowed softly, touching her tail-tip to my shoulder.

The faint scent trail led me to the lake, and finally I spotted the shape of a dark ginger cat sitting on the shore, staring absently at the sky where the swirls of dark grey clouds were painted brilliant golden by the setting sun. I carefully padded forward and sat down, keeping a certain distance from her.

"Squirrelflight..." I began, gently touching my tail-tip to her chin to make her look at me. There was a mixture of sadness and defiance in her eyes. "You cannot blame me for spending some time with Mothwing. She is my sister, she went through a lot, and needs a cat she can trust. That does not mean I don't care about you."

She tore her gaze away and looked again at the sky, claws tearing at the ground. "Brambleclaw, it's not that I have something against her. It's just that... I feel again as if I was losing you."

I groaned inwardly. Why must she-cats be so difficult? I proved enough times how much did I care about her, but Squirrelflight was ready to toss me away each time when she did not get enough attention, or when I did something she didn't approve. We cannot continue like this.

My hackles started rising and I wondered if I should give her a piece of my mind. But I knew nonetheless that I would likely lose her then for good, and I could not risk that. In these times with danger haunting my every pawstep, with the menace of Tigerstar, Blackstar and Blackclaw looming over the Clans, Squirrelflight was the only one whose friendship gave me strength and comfort.

Friend? Any cat can see you are deeply in love with her, Mothwing's words echoed in my mind.

The young warrior's eyes sparkled like green fire as she stared into the setting sun, her fluffed pelt gleaming in blazing orange hues, muscles tense on her lithe shape. She was beautiful.

"Squirrelflight," I sighed, letting my neck fur lie flat. She turned her head to look in my eyes. "How many times did I prove that you are the only cat close to my heart? I need you. The truth is that I... I love you."

There, I finally told her. Even if we were close to each other since the Great Journey, even if some of the Clan cats had already considered us mates, this was the first time when I actually admitted my true feelings, both to her and to myself.

She stared at me for a time that seemed forever, her eyes growing wet with emotion. My heart was beating in my throat, expecting her to turn and walk away, but instead she moved closer, pressing her flank to mine.

"I love you too, Brambleclaw. With all my heart."

We sat on the shore gazing at the golden and violet hues of the sunset sky, our tails twined together, her head resting on my shoulder. I wished time would stop for us so that I could enjoy that moment for an eternity.

I spent most of the next day with Squirrelflight, going on hunting and border patrols together, and sometimes it was hard for me not to be distracted by her scent and closeness. She also made friends with Mothwing – several other cats did, in fact. Overall, things were getting back to normal in the Clan; what's more, ShadowClan seemingly gave up trying to take our territory. However, we had no idea what was happening in RiverClan.

I had just returned with Squirrelflight from a short but effective hunting trip in the late afternoon, and we headed for the warriors' den for a well-deserved rest before heading out for the sunset patrol, but Stormfur and Firestar called out to us and we bounded up to join them.

"Brambleclaw," Stormfur began, his face grave. "I already discussed this with Firestar, but you should know about it as well. I decided I would head out for RiverClan, to see what are they up to... with the recent events that took place there, I fear the worst."

"But the Gathering is in three days," I argued. "We can see it for ourselves then."

"Many things can happen in three days," Firestar remarked. "It was Sandstorm's idea actually – she thinks that Mistyfoot is in danger." Mistyfoot was one of Sandstorm's closest friends, and she always opposed Blackclaw. "Mothwing is equally worried about Willowpaw. I also wish that Squirrelflight went with Stormfur; she is one of the few cats here who know RiverClan territory well."

Squirrelflight was taken aback at first, but determination replaced nervousness in her eyes almost instantly. "All right."

"I am going too," I broke in heatedly. I could not let her walk into danger without being by her side. "I know the territory too; we explored the lake together."

"Three warriors are too much," Firestar disagreed. "It's about moving fast and remaining unseen. And you still didn't recover completely from all those fights."

"But... I cannot let Squirrelflight go," I blurted out. "What would happen if..."

"Are you suggesting that I cannot take care of myself?" The ginger warrior spun to face me, her face barely a mouselength from mine. "Really, Brambleclaw, I am not a kit, so don't act like..." She stopped, seeing the troubled anxiety in my eyes, her gaze softening, and she took a short step forward and reached her neck to press her cheek to mine. "Nothing bad will happen, I promise."

"All right, so this is sorted out," Firestar meowed. "Take care, and may StarClan protect you."

"We will return before moonhigh," Stormfur assured us as he started padding towards the camp entrance. Squirrelflight followed him, brushing her fur to mine as she pushed next me. I stood for long moments, staring at the thorn tunnel where they vanished.

Later, I went on the sunset patrol with Firestar and Dustpelt, checking the WindClan border. Arriving at the lake, I traced my gaze along the shore, hoping I could see the two questing cats in the distance, but the fading light and gathering mist prevented me from spotting any shape.

Nothing bad will happen. We will return before moonhigh.

Once back in the camp, I visited Leafpool's den – my wound was sore again, and she gave me some poppy seeds and thyme leaves. Retiring in the warriors' den, I lay down on the moss, planning to stay awake until Squirrelflight returned. However, sleep took me in an instant.

My dreams were filled with her. I saw us walking side by side in lush greenleaf landscapes and in shadowy forests... surveying the countryside from a hilltop... entering a dark cave... resting in a Twoleg garden... looking at a white streak cutting across the sky...

A paw prodded my side and the dreams faded away. "Brambleclaw," a she-cat meowed in my ear.

"Squirrelflight..." I murmured, half asleep. I breathed in deeply, but could not sense her scent.

"Brambleclaw, it's me, Brook," the cat meowed urgently, prodding me again. "They did not return."

"Who?" I opened my eyes and blinked sleepily. It was close to dawn, the sky began turning from the deepest black to a dark gray. I heard the steady breathing of the other warriors around me.

"Stormfur and Squirrelflight... they did not return!"