Physician and Physicist by AndromedaMarine

To: Senior Base Personnel
From: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
Subject: I Really Need to Get into My Office
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 0945 ZULU

Anyone? There are things in my office that I cannot go without! Seriously, doesn't anyone check their email?

To: Teyla (motheroftorren)
From: Ronon (shootfirstasklater)
Subject: Woolsey's Cry for Help
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1159 ZULU

Did you see those emails Woolsey sent out? Something about not getting into his office.

Weird since I saw some guy with bandages on his hands fiddling around the door this morning.

To: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
CC: Reply All
From: Carson (scottishdoc)
Subject: RE: I Really Need to Get into My Office
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1201 ZULU

Did you try contacting Dr. McKay directly? If he isn't available I suggest you try Dr. Zelenka or Dr. Fox.

To: Carson (scottishdoc)
CC: Reply All
From: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
Subject: (no subject)
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1233 ZULU

I tried to raise Dr. McKay on his headset but had no luck. Dr. Zelenka is also not responding and I believe Dr. Fox is on stand down after his incident with the Janus Database. Any other suggestions?

To: Richard Woolsey (basecommander)
From: Radek Zelenka (czechmate)
Subject: RE: Reply All: I Really Need to Get into My Office
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1256 ZULU

Mr. Woolsey,

I will be at your office in ten minutes. I am sorry no one has already agreed to help you.

Dr. Zelenka

To: Dusty (stardust)
From: Chuck (campbellsoup)
Subject: Newsflash
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1346 ZULU

Hey, I heard through the grapevine that Dr. Keller is dating McKay. What did Laura tell you last night?

To: Chuck (campbellsoup)
From: Dusty (stardust)
Subject: RE: Newsflash
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1414 ZULU

Laura told me that her boy-toy gave Jenny three days off – to spend primarily with our favorite grouch. How's that for confirmation?

To: Ronon (shootfirstasklater)
From: Teyla (motheroftorren)
Subject: RE: Woolsey's Cry for Help
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1415 ZULU

Ronon,

You should inform Mr. Woolsey of what you witnessed this morning. I believe he would be most appreciative.

Teyla

To: Dusty (stardust)
From: Chuck (campbellsoup)
Subject: RE: Re: Newsflash
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1522 ZULU

Let's see... I guess that means Amelia won the pool. No – wait, didn't Ronon bet on the same time Amelia did? So then it's split... Damn, and I wanted to get that supply of Dark Chocolate Lindor truffles.

To: Teyla (motheroftorren)
From: Ronon (shootfirstasklater)
Subject: RE: Re: Woolsey's Cry for Help
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1558 ZULU

Why should I help out Woolsey? He still doesn't like me, even though it's been like three years since he took over.

1603 ZULU

PegasusNet IM Service

CB: Radek, what was wrong with Richard's door?

RZ: It sounds stupid, but somebody put Gorilla Glue along the doorframe so it stuck in place. A childish prank, and one for which I would like to know is responsible.

CB: You're right, that does sound stupid... This might be nothing but I overheard Ronon muttering something about Richard not liking him... you don't think...?

RZ: Ronon? Using Gorilla Glue to seal Woolsey's door? Forgive me, but that does not sound at all like Ronon's "shoot first ask later" style.

CB: All right, perhaps someone with a grudge?

RZ: Why are we discussing this? Should this not be a matter between Mr. Woolsey and the security details?

CB: Well, for one, the infirmary is dreadfully slow right now.

RZ: And two?

CB: Two, I would be bothering Jen and Rodney but they're still on their three-day-date.

RZ: I wonder if it will last.

CB: What? The date or the relationship?

RZ: Both. Although I am hoping it will last, since Rodney is much more pleasant after spending time with Dr. Keller. She seems to calm him down. He has not yelled at any lab techs for over three weeks!

CB: What about after the Janus Database went off-line?

RZ: To save Rodney's sanity I berated Avery Fox myself.

CB: So it was Dr. Fox who had those burns...

RZ: Yes. Unfortunate for him, since he will be on graveyard shift for laundry detail for the following fourteen days. I suggested to Mr. Woolsey that his sister be brought to Atlantis to help keep him in line, so to say. Apparently she is the only one who can fully control him.

CB: Dr. Fox has a sister? And if she is the only one who can control him, how on Earth did he get into the Stargate Program?

RZ: Captain Kylie Fox – Air Force, I believe. Their parents own a company that brokers defense contracts with the SGC.

CB: Radek, forgive my asking, but how do you know all this?

RZ: ...I have my sources.

CB: (laughs) All right, all right. You keep your secrets... I'll keep mine.

RZ: It is impossible for you to keep secrets, Carson, since you live with Laura Cadman.

CB: Touché, Radek.

To: Ronon (shootfirstasklater)
From: Teyla (motheroftorren)
Subject: RE: Re: re: Woolsey's Cry for Help
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1613 ZULU

Ronon,

Perhaps if you tell him he will be less inclined to disagree with some of your methods, namely the one pertaining to your email address. It is just a suggestion.

Teyla

To: Laura (bomb-chick)
From: Dusty (stardust)
Subject: Rumors...
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1839 ZULU

You know, if you "confirm" Keller's and McKay's relationship in another week, we won't have to pay out to Ronon and Amelia. If you let me win I'll cut you in for some truffles.

To: Dusty (stardust)
From: Laura (bomb-chick)
Subject: RE: Rumors...
Timestamp: 7 April 2010 1851 ZULU

Dusty, darling, by next week they would have confirmed it themselves. How long do you really expect them to keep their hands off each other, especially since I heard from John just a few minutes ago that he walked in on them sucking each other's faces off at 0940 this morning? He saw them both in McKay's quarters, and she was wearing his Batman PJ pants, plus she had bed head. Trust me, Dusty, they so totally slept together last night. Those are all the details we need for confirmation...and when it's something as juicy as that, I don't expect John to lie.

A/N: Thanks for waiting... This time I blame college for getting in the way. I thought that Radek's penname, czechmate, was pretty clever... (wink). R&R!