Yes, I know it's been so long since I've updated this story. I have been having…complications with family life. Well step family. I don't call them my family. Don't ask why coz it's really complicated. Anyways, I must first say that DAXTERANDBOXER(with the new name Phantom of the Masque) YOU ARE GREAT! I am in love with you! You're so awesome to me! I really appreciate it. Keiko21 and Kerstar you guys are great too thank you, and to everyone else not mentioned, thank you for reading my story and thus far enjoying it. Arigato mina! *bows*

Disclaimer: Well naw duh I don't own this! If I did Kenichi Matsuyama the awesome man who played L in the movie would me mine, and married to me! MUWAHAHA! Lol. Jk. No Seriously he would.

The long road ahead…

No one had a peaceful night sleep that night. Near kept waking up every twenty minutes screaming and crying. They expected that much would happen but it still tore their hearts apart to see him in so much pain. L especially.

L PoV

I help him to me tightly. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. It broke my heart to see him in pieces like this. The last time he woke up screaming I held him to me and rocked him. He looked up at me with such pitiful, helpless, broken eyes, I almost cried with him but I had to be strong. For him. He needed me and I would be there.

We were now in the kitchen, a place we now frequented. Mello and Matt were trying to have a casual conversation, but it was more strained than normal for obvious reasons. They were even trying to get Near to talk but he just stared at his cereal, not touching it.

"Near…um…" Mello had tried, but failed.

I picked at my cake, not really saying anything. I was too busy thinking of my love, sitting right next to me unmoving, barely blinking, lifeless beside me.

Yes, I had finally admitted to myself that I loved him. He meant the world to me, and I didn't know how to help him. I kept glancing at him from the corner of my eye, to see him just staring at his bowl of cereal.

"Near…" I started.

Near looked up at me, startled, and my breath caught in my chest. I couldn't do anything but stare at him.

"I-I…um…you should eat." I finished lamely, looking back down to my cake.

Near looked at me with that blank expression before looking back at his cereal, not moving.

I sighed softly in frustration, then turned slightly in my seat to face him. I could feel Watari, Mello, and Matt staring at me but I didn't care. I picked up Near's spoon with some cereal on it and held it up to his mouth. I watched as his eyes widened slightly, surprised at what I was trying to do. He started to turn away from me but I grabbed his face gently with my free hand and kept his face still.

"Eat." I said to him, softly but firmly.

Near pursed his lips as best as he could in my hold and didn't eat like I told him to. I mentally sighed and shoved the spoon in his mouth and made him eat.

He struggled at first, his little hands gripping my wrists trying to pry it off of him, then he relaxed, defeated, and slowly chewed and swallowed the food in his mouth.

I continued to feed him until his breakfast was gone, very pleased that I didn't have to fight with him for the rest of the meal. When breakfast was over with I decided that for a few days we wouldn't be working in the lab, but on another vacation of sorts.

We were all on the beach once again, sitting on white lawn chairs watching the sun set together.

Mello was on Matt's lap and I had Near on mine. It wasn't how I usually sat and was a tad uncomfortable, but my Near was on my lap and I was happy about that.

Watari, as it started getting colder out, brought us some blankets to wrap ourselves up in before he retired for the night.

Mello gave me a look before he and Matt went into the house for the night as well. I don't quite know what he was trying to say. He had a double meaning about his gaze so I only knew the half of it. Now as the sound of the waves hit the shore in a soft gentle rhythm, it was just Near and I.

I felt Near shiver in my arms and I held him tighter to myself.

"Near," I breathed quietly against his neck, "tell me what you're thinking."

Near shivered against me and I felt the heat rising from his body. I knew he was blushing about his body's reaction.

"…I…I don't know what to think…"

"I know what that woman told you, and I can guarantee that it is wrong. Don't listen to what she said to you."

"But…how can I not? I'm a freak, I don't have normal hair color, no one wants me around I'm unwanted. She was right. She still is right. I-"

Before he could finish his sentence I roughly turned him around and slammed my lips to his.

His eyes widened as he stared at me in shock as I kissed him. My eyes never closed as I looked him in the eyes with determination. I slowly pulled away and cradled his face in my hands.

"Never," I started in a hoarse sounding voice full of emotion, "in your life speak about yourself in such a manner. I can't speak for everyone but I can and will speak for myself, consequences be damned. I love you Near, I absolutely adore you. I want you around me, I love being in the same room as you even if its quiet and were working on cases together. I don't care because I'm with you. I love your hair and the color that it is. It suites who you are and I love it. Don't ever say no one wants you because when you think you have no one, Near, I'm here for you and I always will be."

Near stared at me in complete and utter shock. I could see tears well up in his eyes before he jumped up and ran back to the house.

I sat there…completely befuddled, not to mention rejected.

What have I done?…