10. Wall

Renesmee's POV

As soon as I was out of Nahuel's sight, I was sprinting. There was a weird feeling bubbling inside me, and I just had to try and escape it. Nahuel's kiss lingered on my lips and I had an urge to wipe them with the back of my hand. There was desire in the kiss no doubt about that. Sure kissing felt good, but I wasn't sure it was smart. He seemed to already be pushing it for our second day of 'dating.'

I opened the door quietly to see my dad standing right in the doorway. He had a very displeased look on his face so I assumed he had either been reading my thoughts or Nahuel's.

"I read both of your thoughts. Mostly Nahuel's though."

My heart rate accelerated considerably.

"What was he thinking?" I managed to choke out very slowly.

"A lot about you Renesmee." The muscles in my father's face tightened showing his irritation.

I looked at the ground and started reciting the alphabet in Chinese very, very intently in my head.

"Renesmee! I need to know everything, now." He demanded after the second time through.

I was really good at controlling my thoughts so I focused entirely on what I was about to say, and not what had happened.

"Dad, this isn't fair. Nobody else's parents can just read everybody's minds and get all the answers they want. Why can't you just stay out of it! I know you might not realize it but I'm an adult. I'm plenty old enough to think what I want and make my own decisions. So is Nahuel."

"You know I can't just turn it off. The only person that can block me is your mom, so you'll just have to deal with it. It may not seem fair to you, but I can't do anything about that. So one way or the other, I'm going to find out Nessie. You better just save yourself the trouble and tell me what's going on."

"No." I wanted my thoughts to be private. I shut my eyes and I pulled all my thoughts to the dark corners of my mind. They seemed more distant there and I struggled to put up a wall against my father. If my mom could do it, then surely I inherited something of it. I had to try.

"Renesmee." He whispered in awe.

I threw all my concentration into my wall. It started off small and weak, but the stronger I focused, the stronger it felt. I could feel it shading my thoughts. It was my own personal force field.

I could feel my dad's powers probing the corners of my refuge. I knew I wasn't strong enough to hold it up for long. I turned around and sprinted from the cabin at full speed knowing that if my dad wanted to catch up with me, he could. This pushed me to run faster and it didn't even matter where I was going. I could feel him cracking my wall. He was trying very, very hard to read my thoughts right now.

Suddenly, the pressure stopped completely. It was almost haunting. It was like one second my head was completely at war and then the next, nothing. My whole body started shaking and I sat down on a nearby log. My chest felt so tight that I was panting to get oxygen down to my lungs. I put my face in my hands as I tried to grasp the reality of what I had just done.

I had blocked my thoughts from my father. Everyone had always wished they could stop his intruding gift and I just did. I made my head personal. After the shock started to wear off, I had an almost giddy feeling. I wanted to run farther and farther and never come back. I had an odd urge to embrace freedom. It was like it was sitting right in front of me for the taking, and all I had to do was run. Nobody would ever find me. They couldn't track my mind, and I knew ways to disguise a scent.

I rubbed my temples with my fingers and immediately erased those thoughts from my mind. Just because I finally got my chance to have private thoughts doesn't mean you can run away. It's not like I could leave Jacob either. Er-uh-Nahuel I mean. Yeah, Nahuel, Nahuel, Nahuel…That's not nearly as fun to say as Jacob, Jacob- AH STOP!
My head is a complete mess. It's a good thing nobody can see what's really happening to me. I would hate for someone to have to listen to me die. I stopped using my fingers to massage my temples and instead I put pressure against my forehead. I had to stop thinking negatively, I was going to live out my deal and so was everyone else.

I was going to be strong; I had to be. I ran my fingers through my auburn curls and slowly stood up. I sucked up all my energy to my head to mend my wall. It seemed to be stronger this time, since I had a little bit of an idea what I was doing. Once I felt like it was secure enough to withstand my father's gift, I took off toward the house. I was probably about six miles away when I heard someone running behind me.

They were faster than I was and by the sound of it heavier too. I heard them lunge towards me and I improvised by grabbing a tree branch and swinging myself up. Emmett soared through the air underneath my branch barely missing me.

"Missed." I said tauntingly.

"You're getting better. But I'm still, faster, stronger--"

"I'm smarter!" I blurted out cutting him off.

"Oh please, with a face like this I don't need to be smart."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Come on we have to get you back to the house. Everyone is looking for you."

"Oh." With a force that nearly knocked me off my branch, I felt the searching fingers of mind reading fight against my shield. Yeah, my dad was definitely freaking out. It took nearly all my concentration to keep my wall intact.

"Uh, Nessie? Let's get going before Edward chews my face off."

I hopped down from my branch silently. I wasn't really sure I could speak at the moment. Emmett raced ahead of me in an effort to show off and I followed at my own pace. Eventually, the river and the white house came into view. Everyone was waiting outside in the backyard. Obviously they had all been searching.

Emmett and I joined the group with some awkward stares coming at me. My father caught my eyes and I looked down quickly. My hands balled into fists as I put all my focus into my wall.

"Earth to Nessie!" Alice shouted waving a hand in front of my face.

"What?" I asked a little strained.

She eyed my face suspiciously before she spoke, "Did you hear Carlisle?"

"I'm sorry what?" I asked facing Carlisle. My forehead was wrinkled with concentration as I tried to pay attention.

"Do you need to hunt? You look a little…strained."

"No, no I just need some sleep." I said forcing my lips into a tight smile.

"I'm tired too." Nahuel said with a yawn.

"Maybe you two should go lay down." Esme said sweetly.

I turned to go back toward the cabin with Nahuel behind me when dad grabbed my arm.

"Upstairs." He said.

"What?" I huffed.

"Go upstairs. I need to talk to you now." He wasn't shouting but his voice was icy and chilled me all the way through.

"You can go ahead Nahuel. I'll be there in a minute." I said turning to go inside.

I met eyes with Rosalie and she looked at me compassionately. After we got inside what used to be my dad's old bedroom he shut the door quietly and turned to face me.

He walked forward to me slowly and I automatically stepped one stepped back for every one of his steps. His face burned with irritation as he flashed to my side and grabbed my arm so I couldn't move.

"What?" I asked rudely.

"Why are you doing this Renesmee? You've never acted bitter about my gift before."

"That was before I had a personal life dad. I'm 18. You've got to accept it sometime."

"That's not what I have a problem with. I just want to know what you're trying to hide so badly. You know you can tell me anything." He said his face softening a bit.

"I know daddy." I whispered. I wanted to so bad to let down my wall to let him feel the confusion and pain I felt, but I knew I couldn't. I was the one who caused it all so I had to suck it up and deal with it myself. I felt him push slightly on my wall and I winced as I put it back up to full force.

"Please. Stop. Pushing." I said looking him straight in the eyes.

He looked into my eyes for a long time before letting go of my arm.

"Just know your mother and I will always be here for you. You can tell us anything."

"I know. You'll be the first two people I talk to if I need someone."

He sighed before turning around and walking out the door. Aloneness haunted my body as I watched my last life line being reeled in. I was totally alone on this one.

A/N: I thought the little mind blocking thing was an interesting little twist!

I kinda thought of it last minute to be honest.

Anyways, tell me whatcha think!!!

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