A while later they found themselves sat in Sebastian's room, Kurt wandering the edges of the space, reading the title of every single book or film he owned, it would seem, despite the fact that Sebastian had expressly told him not to touch anything. Sebastian sat on the edge of his bed, trying his hardest to pretend he wasn't bothered that Kurt had yet to say a word.
He'd been silent throughout pretty much the whole tour, though Sebastian knew he was in love with the house from the moment he set foot through the front door. His eyes practically sparkled when Sebastian showed him the music room, the high ceilings granting perfect acoustics, a grand piano in one corner, a stack of guitars in another and sheets upon sheets of music that had been composed by Sebastian himself all over the place. Though he didn't point out that part.
Cas even bounded up to say hello, nuzzling Kurt as he knelt down to pet him and even though they'd met before, it was still unusual for the dog to be so friendly towards someone in his own home. He chalked it down to Kurt just naturally smelling of dog, and then chuckled to himself at the thought.
Sebastian had saved his room until last, partly because he was hoping his father would fetch them before he actually had to show him and partly because he wanted to spend the rest of the night with Kurt in there. It was an internal battle with no clear emotion winning.
Kurt finally stopped pacing and span on his heel to face Sebastian. "I must say, I am impressed. I didn't think that someone so crude and obnoxious could have such a well-rounded taste in literature."
"Did it take you this long to come up with that back handed insult? Because if it did, I truly feel sorry for you."
Kurt crinkled his face in response and crossed the room to sit by Sebastian on the edge of the bed, leaving only an arms distance in-between them.
"But thanks, anyway. Reading is kind of a huge passion of mine." Sebastian said, almost shyly.
"No kidding." Kurt replied, drawing his eyes from Sebastian to glance over the piles of books, some on shelves and some on the floor covering any available space. "When you first brought me in here, I thought it was the library."
Sebastian laughed loudly. "No, no that's down the hall." Kurt gaped. "This is my own collection."
"And you've read everything in here?" Kurt asked with wide eyes, trying to mentally calculate the number of books there must be.
"Almost, the ones over there are on my to-read list." He smiled, pointing towards his desk.
Kurt shook his head in disbelief, Sebastian was about to question him when he heard his father calling them from downstairs.
"Dinner is served." He said, bouncing up and gesturing for Kurt to leave the room first. It took the strongest level of will power to resist smacking his ass as he walked by.
They entered the dining room as Amelié and Edward were setting down the various plates of food. Sebastian could tell Kurt felt just a little overwhelmed as he sat down by Sebastian and opposite his parents. The room was large and grand, an homage to a traditional style, but was still light and modern. The table was large, there was enough room for around ten people, and there were plates with various foods everywhere. Amelié really did like to cook.
Kurt straightened all of the cutlery on the table whilst he waited for further instruction. Amelié smiled kindly at Kurt and gestured for him to help himself. Sebastian didn't hesitate and leaned over Kurt to grab a helping of chicken, it looked like.
They ate in silence for a few moments before Edward interrupted; "I've heard so much about you, Kurt. Sebastian talks about you so fondly all the time." He smiled, holding Kurt's eyes.
Kurt blushed hard and so did Sebastian, who attempted to kick his father under the table and only ended up hitting Kurt instead.
Kurt flinched but wouldn't turn to Sebastian, who fumbled a bunch of inaudible words as excuses, and Edward laughed as he watched him dig his way into a deeper hole.
"All good things, don't worry." Edward winked.
"Dad." Sebastian said. "Kurt, I don't, really. I mean, I talk about school, sometimes but- I-"
Edward seemed to take pity on him for a moment and changed the subject. "So Kurt, what are your plans for after graduation?"
Kurt looked down at his plate, pushing his food around. Sebastian realised then that he didn't actually know what Kurt was planning to do in the future and he'd never thought to ask - maybe he was going to fly away to Oz with Berry and Blaine to live happily ever after. Sebastian looked at Kurt, listening intently which only had him blush harder.
"Um, well hopefully I'll be accepted into NYADA in New York to study musical theatre in the fall, um-"
"Kurt that's incredible, wow. Go you!" Edward enthused. Kurt looked up quickly, confused at seeing no sign of insincerity on Mr Smythe's face. "Have you had your audition yet?" Edward continued.
Kurt hesitated. "No, not yet it's at the end of next month."
"Oh, feeling prepared?" Amelié asked.
"Kind of. I'm not sure, I'm practising nearly every day now, it's exhausting."
"You're clearly very dedicated. I'd love to hear you sing sometime. Feel free to come over and use out music room any time you like, I'm sure Sebastian showed you?" She added. Kurt liked her, she felt warm and kind and Kurt thought for a brief moment of his own mother, wondering how she would feel about how Kurt's life was turning out.
"Uh yes, he did. Um, thank you." Kurt stammered.
"Sebastian's hoping to head off to the Big Apple too, isn't that right?" Edward said, looking at Sebastian who had remained pretty quiet.
"Uh, yeah. NYU. Or- or Columbia maybe."
"I had no idea. What are you planning to study?"
"Well, I have decided on my major yet, but literature maybe? Or history." He shrugged.
"But you hate history." Kurt objected.
"No, I just hate sitting next to you." He winked. Kurt rolled his eyes, kicking him back under the table.
They stared at each other then, neither wanting to back down because it was a challenge. They both looked toward Edward when he cleared his throat.
"Tell me about yourself Kurt, how's family life?" Edward prodded.
"Um, good. It's great. My Dad and Carol are away in DC this week, he's a congressman so I don't get to see him as much as I used to, but he's happy so I am too. And Finn is always around anyway. My stepbrother, that is."
"Your father, Burt Hummel? I've been following his campaign, fantastic stuff."
Kurt beamed under the praise and Sebastian felt something he couldn't name that he didn't know this, either. He thought he'd been getting to know Kurt since he transferred, but he didn't even know basic facts about his life.
"How long has Finn been your stepbrother?" Sebastian asked.
"Just over a year now, it's a long and embarrassing story."
"Oh, do tell." Amelié smiled over her glass.
Kurt's eyes flicked to Sebastian and he looked down at the table. "I'd really rather not."
"Another time then." Edward smiled. And Sebastian felt something fuzzy at the mention of a next time. One, because it meant his father seemed to like Kurt enough to invite him back but more importantly because the idea of Kurt coming back messed with Sebastian's heart in stupid, lovesick ways. "Sebastian, can you pass me the wine, please?"
"Sure, dad." Sebastian said, still staring at Kurt. Retrieving the wine involved leaning over into Kurt's personal space, and from the smirk on his dad's face, he gathered that that might be the point.
Kurt blushed harder as Sebastian's arm brushed his chest. He pulled back slowly, enjoying the moment. His father accepted the wine with a knowing smirk and Sebastian looked away quickly.
"So Kurt, how did you and Sebastian meet?" Amelié asked.
Kurt and Sebastian shared a sideways glance, Sebastian's expression a little nervous but mainly composed.
"Um, through a mutual friend, actually. At Dalton. We competed in rival show choirs."
"Ah of course. What did you think of the Warblers?"
"I love the Warblers, I was one for a short time actually, when they were at their peak." Kurt joked and Amelié's face lit up with interest.
"You went to Dalton?" She asked, looking from Kurt to Sebastian.
Kurt blushed a little and shrugged one shoulder. "Only for one semester, during my junior year."
"Do you prefer McKinley?" Edward asked.
Kurt considered for a moment before answering. "They both had their perks and their cons. Dalton was challenging but also safe and supportive, but McKinley will always be my home, it's where my family is, and where I'm able to shine the brightest."
"That's very sweet, I hope Sebastian can feel the same way one day." Amelié smiled.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Sure."
"I hope so too." Kurt said, keeping his eyes fixed on his glass but smiling from the corner of his mouth.
The table was silent for a moment before Sebastian uttered a quiet "thanks, Kurt."
"No problem." He smiled back, he looked to Amelié and Edward. "You really do have a beautiful home and wonderful taste, Mrs Smythe, I have to say I'm extremely jealous." He added as he looked around the dining room at the tactically placed furnishings and the colour scheme that complements the house perfectly. Kurt had an eye and a passion for interior design too, having designed his and Finn's basement room and later both his and Finn's separate rooms after they had moved. In fact he pretty much designed the entire house with Carol's input, of course.
"Amelié is fine, but thank you darling." Amelié preened. "It is my job after all."
"Well I can definitely feel you passion and talent, it's very cozy here."
"Oh you're so sweet, I'll have to keep you." She smiled impossibly wider.
"She'll say that to anyone who compliments her décor, Kurt. Don't feel too flattered." Sebastian said.
"Rubbish, Kurt is wonderful, he would be welcome anytime whether he was a fan of my décor or not." Amelié said, sending Sebastian a warning glare. Sebastian pouted and Kurt chuckled. "Oh you are so adorable together." She added, leaning her chin on her hand to stare at the pair.
Sebastian choked on his food and Kurt's eyes practically fell out of his head, and both of them were blushing furiously.
"No- no, we're not-" Sebastian fumbled.
"We're just friends." Kurt insisted at the same time.
Amelié didn't look surprised or embarrassed, she only smiled wider. "You're still adorable together. But you were right, Edward. They do get blushy." She said, turning to her husband.
"Mom." Sebastian said. "I'm so sorry about them, Kurt. We can leave now." He said, moving to stand up.
Edward and Amelié both began to laugh. "Nonsense, sit back down. We haven't even gotten to dessert yet."
Sebastian sighed but did as he was asked.
"So, after dessert I was thinking baby photos?" Sebastian's dad smiled.
Sebastian paled but Kurt laughed.
"Actually dad, Kurt has to leave straight after dinner, curfew and all that." Sebastian said through gritted teeth, eyeing Kurt sideways as if pleading with him to go along with it.
"Nonsense."
Kurt looked to Sebastian but he couldn't read from his look what he would say next, it could go either way. Kurt seemed to be undecided himself.
"Actually… he's right. Early start from school in the morning, you know."
"It's barely past eight, at least stay for another hour. We could play charades." Amelié enthused.
"Mom."
"You know what, why not?" Kurt said, smiling wider in response to Amelié's grin.
"Fantastic." Amelié enthused, standing up and gathering several plates to take to the kitchen.
"Sebastian, help your mother, please." Edward asked.
Sebastian looked like he wanted to protest but thought better of it. He stood, walking to his mother's side to take the heaviest dishes and followed her into the kitchen, shooting his father what he hoped he would understand as a threatening glare.
They are barely through the kitchen door before Amelié span on her heel, a huge grin on her face and practically bouncing on her toes. "Kurt is so wonderful, where did you ever find a boy like that?" She asked.
"Mom." Sebastian replied, putting the dishes straight into the sink and running the hot tap. "He told you, we met through a mutual friend."
She gave him a look. "You know that's not what I meant."
"What? Because he's too good for me?" Sebastian said, there was a hint of bitterness but mainly he spoke as if that's how he felt himself.
"Oh honey no, in fact I think he's perfect for you, he's had such a profound influence on you already, your father and I are so thrilled to meet the man behind the new Sebastian."
Sebastian huffed, switching off the now bubbling water and grabbing the first dish to wash. "Whatever. He's barely tolerable."
"Tolerate is not the word I would use around you two."
"Okay enough, maman." He stopped washing the dishes and turned to his mom. "I didn't even want Kurt over for dinner, dad invited him, and second, Kurt has a boyfriend, so let it go." Sebastian said, resuming washing the dishes with more force than probably necessary.
Amelié bit her lip. "You didn't deny that you're interested, though."
Sebastian clenched his jaw, he dried his hands and turned his attention to the desserts set on the island. "I'm not talking about this now, the rest of the dishes can wait. We should rescue Kurt from dad before he scares him away for good."
Dessert is wonderful, and Kurt decides to steer the conversation away from himself and onto the Smythe family, asking all the polite small talk questions that should be expected. It crosses his mind a couple of times how much this feels like a meet-the-parents date, but he shoves that thought aside quickly. He learnt that Sebastian wasn't always such an asshole, in fact he was a model child and total mommy's boy. He learnt that Mr. and Mrs. Smythe have been married for twenty four years this summer, and had met whilst they were studying at Stanford, it was a beautifully romantic tale that had Amelié, Edward and Kurt glassy eyed and Sebastian almost puking in his mouth. He also learnt that Sebastian has an older brother whom he is very close to, but he lives on the other coast so he doesn't see him much. He learnt that Sebastian won every singing competition he entered between the ages of four and eleven until he convinced his parents to stop making him compete in them, but after a few years he missed it so much that he joined show choir.
Kurt really enjoyed hearing about this side of Sebastian, a Sebastian whose parents adored him, who were seriously proud of him and so supportive, a Sebastian who was still sarcastic but with a smile that put you at ease instead of making you feel small because you knew he was joking and wasn't trying to tear you down. Kurt never could have expected that this Sebastian existed, much less that this was the real Sebastian and it was becoming more and more apparent that the asshole Sebastian was just a front to protect himself. It make his stomach feel odd things that again he pushed deep deep down to be analysed well, never.
To Sebastian's dismay, they did actually end up playing a couple of rounds of charades, with Edward and Amelie on one team and Sebastian and Kurt on the other. It was when Kurt was trying to act out a scene from God-knows-what that Sebastian realised how domestic this was; dinner and games night with the family, threats of baby pictures and interrogations of the prospective other half, it made him a little dizzy.
Kurt pleaded at him with his eyes as he stood in the middle of the Smythe living room on one knee waiting for Sebastian's guess. Sebastian stared down with wide eyes, shrugging one shoulder in defeat.
"Oh come on, Sebastian, this is painfully obvious." Kurt whined.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "The Proposal?" He guessed.
"Yes!" Kurt said, jumping up and clapping his hands together. Sebastian's parents clapped along too as Kurt wrote down another tally for their team. He sat down on the couch next to Sebastian as Amelié stood up to take her turn. He was close, so close that Sebastian could feel the heat radiating from his body, could feel every micro movement.
After another half hour the game ended, Kurt and Sebastian won by two points and they did a celebratory dance in the living room much to the amusement of Sebastian's parents. They finally decided that it was okay for Kurt to go, even if they did insist he should just stay the night one too many times. Amelié hugged Kurt tightly and welcomed him back anytime for wine tasting or interior decorating advice, and Edward shook his hand firmly and said he was glad that his son had someone like him at school to be a positive influence. Sebastian shoved Kurt through the door before they could embarrass him any further.
The drive back to Kurt's house was more relaxed than the journey they'd made earlier in the evening, even though they didn't have anyone to make fun of as they passed by since the roads were so quiet.
Kurt's phone buzzed, he ignored it. He didn't even acknowledge it and instead continued to keep telling Sebastian the Glee club shower curtain story. At the next set of lights, his phone buzzed again but he still ignored it and Sebastian still didn't say anything, taking his eyes off the road to watch Kurt as much as safely possible because his face was completely lit up and animated when he was recounting stories. He felt a pang of jealousy that he had missed so much; of Kurt's life or the New Directions drama he didn't know but Sebastian was certain he could make anything sound interesting.
They pulled up soon after, the front porch light of Kurt's house was still on. Both of the seemed reluctant to say goodnight.
"I'm sorry about my parents." Sebastian said, rubbing at the back of his neck almost bashfully. "They can be a little… intense."
Kurt smiled adorably. "Don't worry about it, they are wonderful. I had a wonderful evening."
Sebastian looked up from where he had been staring at the steering wheel. "You did?" He asked, eyes wide.
"I did." Kurt echoed.
Sebastian grinned before he could stop himself. "Awesome. Me too."
"And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about how you watch Clueless on repeat when you're feeling down because you can relate to Cher."
Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "It's also a really great movie and I told you that in confidence."
Kurt just smiled in response, his eyes bright and affectionate. Sebastian wanted to kiss Kurt goodnight, it felt like that is what he should do. But he couldn't and he didn't, so he settled for a lingering pat on the shoulder which Kurt turned into a hug. He was so warm and surprisingly strong and Sebastian wanted to stay there forever.
"You're not so bad after all, Smythe." Kurt teased.
"Touché." Sebastian smirked.
Kurt's hand lingered on the door handle for a moment, as if he wanted to say more but decided against it. He left the car and walked over to the front door, turning back to wave Sebastian off. As he watched Kurt wave from the porch of his house, he found himself actually excited for what tomorrow might bring.
By the next morning, everything had completely fallen apart.
"Hey Kurt." Sebastian smiled widely once he saw Kurt making his way into school.
Kurt nodded towards him but carried on walking.
"Wait, what did I do?" Sebastian trailed after him, feeling completely confused.
They reached Kurt's locker and he pulled it open, shoving several books from it and into his bag. Sebastian searched Kurt's face for an answer but found nothing. Kurt continued to ignore him and buried his face further in his locker.
"Kurt, please. Talk to me." Sebastian placed his hand across Kurt's locker, stopping him from reaching for whatever he needed that day. Kurt sighed heavily.
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong, I'm fine. Leave me alone." Kurt slammed his locker and walked quickly down the hallway, his shoulders slumped. Sebastian struggled to keep up.
"Kurt look, Kurt wait." He called as he weaved through the constantly filling corridors. Kurt started to walk faster. "I know this isn't about me. You know this isn't about me. Something has upset you and you're taking it out on me." He called after him, not caring who might hear.
"Don't be ridiculous." Kurt called over his shoulder, but didn't slow down.
"I'm not. Kurt. Stop. Kurt, please." He grabbed him on the shoulder and pulled him so he turned around. Kurt wouldn't look him in the eye. "Is it Blaine? Did Blaine do something?"
"Leave me alone 'Bastian." And there it was, the proof that it wasn't really Sebastian that Kurt was mad at. Sebastian had cottoned on to the realisation that the closer they'd become the more frequently Kurt had taken to calling him that nickname. And that he only ever said it in an honest, kind and ultimately fond way.
Sebastian took a step back, raising his hands in defeat. "Okay."
Kurt clenched his jaw as if he was about to say something but instead walked quickly past him and down the hallway, his head down and his satchel clutched close by his side.
It was lunchtime before he saw him again. Kurt hadn't shown up to their usual table which Sebastian realised was actually incredibly awkward to sit at when Kurt wasn't there, since he was the only one he ever made an effort to converse with.
He dumped his half eaten lunch and went to search for Kurt, it didn't take him long to find him. He was sat outside in the courtyard, alone with his head buried behind his notebook. It looked like he was trying his hardest to become invisible. It seemed to have the desired effect on most people, but not on Sebastian.
Sebastian walked over and sat by him, skipping any 'hellos' and going straight to pulling the book from his hands. Kurt followed the path of the book, giving Sebastian a harsh stare.
"Are we going to talk about this?"
"Since when do we talk about anything?" Kurt grunted, folding his arms.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean this." He gestured between them. "It's- it's crazy. It's not us."
"I don't understand."
"Do I have to spell it out?" He continued when Sebastian didn't reply. "You're supposed to be the villain. You're supposed to be the one that makes my life continually miserable and gets some kind of twisted satisfaction from it. But you're not. And you don't. I don't get it."
"Kurt."
Kurt cut him off before he could say more and continued. "I mean you're always there for me and you seem to actually care. You haven't once been manipulative or cold towards me with regards to Blaine. In fact you've probably tried to save us. I just don't understand why you're doing this." Kurt was growing increasingly stressed, he looked as if he might break down in tears at any moment. Sebastian panicked.
"Look Kurt, I'm gonna stop you right there." Sebastian knew there is something more to this, knows that Kurt has forgiven him, he's been the most welcoming of all of the New Directions, even though he has the right to be the most hostile. Kurt can try to push him away all he wants, but Sebastian won't let him. Kurt paled. "Yesterday we were great, perfect even. What changed? Because I know this time I didn't do anything."
"I'm supposed to hate you." Kurt replied, like he desperately wanted to.
"You're not supposed to do anything." Sebastian said, sitting down by Kurt on the bench. "I'm not a villain, people aren't good or bad, this isn't a story. People are complex and messy and flawed but they can also surprise you. They learn and they grow. And I know that you know that. So what's going on?"
Kurt sighed and turned away from Sebastian, picking as a stray piece of stitching on his satchel.
"It doesn't matter."
"Clearly it does." Sebastian said.
"Look. I don't wanna talk about it, and if I did, I wouldn't go to you. Just leave me alone." Kurt spoke bluntly and coldly, looking Sebastian in the eye to feign more conviction.
Sebastian's heart dropped like it had been kicked to the floor. He didn't have a response, Kurt needed time and the only way he would ever open up to Sebastian is if he gave him that. He'd spent a lot of time that morning practicing over and over again what he would say and he had envisioned every possible reaction Kurt would respond with, apart from this. Which is funny, since it was probably the most obvious reaction to begin with.
"You don't mean that?"
"Try me." Kurt said as he gathered his things and began walking again.
Sebastian let him go.
Sebastian spent the rest of the day and most of the night thinking on how to approach Kurt. He wanted to be there for him without prying, and wanted Kurt to trust him. He lost a lot of sleep.
He waited by Kurt's locker the next day just before lunch, knowing that Kurt would drop off his books before heading to the cafeteria. He scanned the crowds of students filling the hallways, biting his lip and hoping Kurt would arrive in a better mood. Glee practice wasn't on the day before so it was difficult to gage what the rest of Kurt's day had gone like and whether it was Blaine's fault as he suspected. In fact, he hadn't seen Blaine at all yesterday.
He spotted Kurt before he spotted him, but knew the moment he did because he rolled his eyes. He didn't turn around or appear angry though, which Sebastian took as a good sign.
"What do you want 'Bastian?" Kurt asked as he opened his locker.
"Can a friend not be concerned about a fellow friend?" Sebastian replied.
"No, not when that friend is you."
Sebastian ignored the dig and continued as planned. "How are you this morning?"
Kurt side-eyed him and shrugged one shoulder.
"Well, that's an improvement I guess." He teased. It got a half chuckle from Kurt and Sebastian added another positive to his list. "Are you ready to talk about it yet?" He asked hesitantly.
Kurt tensed his jaw and immediately went defensive.
"Can I at least talk then?" Sebastian asked, he felt nervous and then felt pathetic for feeling nervous.
Kurt deliberated for a moment. "Well, go on then. You have two minutes."
Sebastian shifted his weight onto both feet. "Okay, okay. So um." He scratched at the back of his neck, Kurt tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips. "Shit I had this all planned out."
"You planned what you were going to say to me?" Kurt gaped.
"Well yeah, I'm not exactly the best with words over here." Sebastian deadpanned like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Kurt shrugged, agreeing with the statement and nodded for Sebastian to continue. Sebastian huffed out a long breath.
"You just lost thirty seconds."
"Shit. Kurt- this is, I don't know. I don't do this." Sebastian said, gesturing between the two of them as if it explained everything.
"Do what? Dare I ask?"
"This. Friendship, emotions, feelings. Being honest and sensitive and all that bullshit."
"Right." Kurt said, because that much was obvious.
"But I want to. When I'm with you. I want you to trust me and to be honest and open with me, I want you to come to me with your problems, even if I am the problem. I-" He stopped. None of this was going the way he wanted and he sounded like a total dork. This was already pushing him way past his limits and he'd barely scratched the surface. "This is really hard for me."
"Oh well boo hoo."
"Ouch. That was unnecessary." Sebastian said, taken aback.
"I just can't listen to this right now. Not from you." Kurt replied, closing his locker door.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sebastian asked, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.
Kurt sighed. "Nothing. Nothing. It's not you-"
"'It's me'." He air quoted. "I get it, Kurt. Whatever." Sebastian took a couple of steps back, ready to walk away.
"Sebastian no, you don't understand." Kurt said, his eyes pained.
"Then make me understand." He pleaded.
"It's complicated."
"I've got all day."
"Aren't you late for class?"
"Stop changing the subject." Sebastian replied, but he was smiling from the corner of his mouth.
Kurt sighed, throwing his head back against the locker behind him. He ran his hands through his hair and chewed on his bottom lip. Sebastian waited, leaning against the lockers as well, but not too close.
"We broke up." Kurt muttered, so quietly that Sebastian wasn't sure if he'd actually said anything or if it was just wishful thinking.
"Excuse me?"
"Blaine and I. We- we broke up." Kurt said, his voice breaking twice as if it was physically painful for him to say the words, maybe it was. Sebastian physically bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from blurting out something really stupid such as finally when Kurt added with a bitter laugh, "well, I broke up with him actually."
"What?" Sebastian couldn't hold back his surprise on that, though it didn't take long for him to conclude that actually that made much more sense. He'd just never imagined Kurt would do it. That Kurt could do it.
Kurt laughed, it was bitter and cold and there was no humour in it.
"Are- are you okay?" Sebastian asked when Kurt still hadn't said anything more. He didn't know what to do, it was obvious that Kurt wasn't okay, he looks almost translucent, he had put concealer over his eyes but Sebastian could still see that they were red and puffy. He thought back to those weeks ago when Kurt had got so defensive when Sebastian had asked and wondered if that was due to Blaine too, and if so, how far back did their problems go, and why didn't Kurt say anything sooner. He felt way out of his depth and his feelings about the situation were everywhere but nowhere appropriate.
He couldn't deny that he hadn't dreamt of this day for months, except that until recently it had been so he could finally get into Blaine's pants without him whining about it not being right or honest or whatever. In reality, he just felt awful because Kurt was in pain, and he hadn't seen Blaine, but he would bet any money that he was the epitome of a frowny face emoji too.
Thankfully, Kurt spared the snarky comment and instead opted for a disbelieving glare.
Sebastian sighed and after a moment's thought he said, "come on, we're getting out of here."
"What? Where are we going?" Kurt asked, totally confused.
"Does it matter? Just trust me, okay?" Sebastian said and grabbed Kurt's hand, pulling him up off the lockers and towards the exit.
Kurt didn't take much convincing after that to get into the car, Sebastian figured that he really didn't want to be in school anyway if skipping school with Sebastian was the preferred option. Once they were both settled, Sebastian quickly pulled out of the parking lot and turned right instead of left, the walls of McKinley High growing smaller in the rear view mirror.
"Where are we going?" Kurt asked after a few minutes of driving in silence.
"Do you trust me?" Sebastian asked instead of answering. He glanced sideways at Kurt, smirking, but his voice betrayed his hesitance.
"Yeah, yeah I trust you." Kurt said after a moment.
Sebastian didn't know he had stopped breathing until he felt the relief run though him. "Then quit asking." He smirked, his confidence back. He pressed the gas pedal and accelerated around the next corner.
Sebastian finally pulled over after a couple of hours of driving in which Kurt repeatedly asked 'are we there yet?' Sebastian would roll his eyes and Kurt would insist he wasn't asking where they were going, just if they were there yet, and that wasn't against the rules. Sebastian replied no and carried on driving.
They filled the silence with small talk and petty insults that weren't even really mean anymore. Kurt felt like he should be on edge or at the very least irritated about being stuck in a car with Sebastian on a day like this, but instead he just felt content, more content than he had all day, and the truth was, he appreciated the distraction. It was so nice to be able to at least somewhat take down the walls he'd built so high after the events of the past couple of days.
He could see Sebastian periodically gaze sideways at Kurt, as if he was worried he would break into a million pieces or disappear or something, Kurt only smiled softly. He was grateful that Sebastian didn't push him to talk about Blaine for the entire journey, he seemed to easily pick up that Kurt needed some space to gather his thoughts, and that if he wanted, he would tell him in his own time.
They argued about which songs were the worst on the radio until Sebastian plugged in his iPod instead, although that only invited further criticism from Kurt, who seemed to hate everything on the principle that Sebastian liked it just to wind him up. Kurt discovered that Sebastian was kind of adorable when he was defending his music.
He was decidedly less adorable once he realised what Kurt's game was and then turned the volume up ear splittingly loud until Kurt apologized.
A good while later they stopped at a place somewhere in Ohio that Kurt had never been to before, he had no idea where he was, really. He'd tried to follow the signs but had got lost around twenty minutes in.
"Where are we?" Kurt asked.
"Port Clinton."
"What? That's miles away, Sebastian." Kurt gaped.
He shrugged in response. "Come on, let's go." Sebastian said, unclicking his seatbelt and jumping out of the car.
Kurt sighed, hurrying after Sebastian who was walking away without him. "Go where?" He called, halfway to running to catch up.
"Let's go get something to eat, I know a great place." Was all he said.
He didn't say anything else until they reached a shack like restaurant at the end of the promenade. It's an ice cream shop that is quaint and cute and just on the right side of busy. Sebastian walked straight through the door but Kurt hesitated for a moment.
"You drove us two hours for ice cream?" He called.
He saw Sebastian's shoulders shake with amusement. "It's really good ice cream. Trust me, the only place you wanna be after a break up."
"How would you know?" Kurt quipped back.
"I know you're going through a rough time right now so I'm going to ignore that you just said that, come on." He gestured Kurt to step into the shop.
Inside the place it's cute, classically American, which booths dotted around and a jukebox in the corner. All the staff wore red dresses with white aprons and matching hats. There are tons of flavours of ice cream spread across the large counter and a menu with so much choice that Kurt felt overwhelmed even though he hadn't begun to read it yet.
"Okay so I highly recommend the salted caramel and toffee, it's to die for." Sebastian said as they reach the counter.
"Come on, let's take a walk."
They finished their ice creams and left the shop, walking along the promenade for a while until they found a quiet spot to sit down. They watched the people and the boats go by in silence.
"So." Kurt cleared his throat. "I don't really know where to start. The beginning is probably the best place."
"Oh god, you're not going to tell me the whole lovesick story of how you met and your first kiss are you?" Sebastian teased.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "No." He paused. "So as you already know, there have been problems for a while, I've known about them, Blaine has known about them, in fact, I'm pretty sure everyone knew." He laughed self depreciatingly. "But we were trying to make it work. Our biggest problem has always been communication I guess, it was a problem before we were even together which is why it took is so long. Blaine has been… distant, different, like he's far away. He said it was nothing, that I was the distant one and it was all my fault but-" He stopped to take a deep breath. "I'm not saying I'm entirely blameless, I have been very preoccupied with NYADA applications and practice for Nationals and finals and cheerio's practice but that's nothing new, we've always fought to fit each other in and it felt like he stopped trying to do that. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?
So the other night after you dropped me off, I called him back and we sorta got into an argument. It was probably the biggest fight we've had. And we've had a lot lately, always about the most ridiculous things. He was especially pissed after he found out I'd been to dinner with your parents and that's why I ignored his calls." Kurt laughed bitterly. "Do you know how long it's been since we've had a date?"
Sebastian shook his head.
"It's been three weeks. I've asked him at least a dozen times if he wanted to go to Breadsticks or catch a movie but he just takes a rain check every time. I started to get really paranoid that maybe he was cheating on me after all but-"
"Kurt you know he would never." Sebastian interjected.
"I know, I know. Anyway, the other night we were both over at Rachel's house for a musical marathon – which yes, involved singing along, stop pulling that face – and we er, we have matching phone cases so when it buzzed from the table I picked it up, thinking it was mine whilst Blaine was getting the pizza from downstairs, and er- he had a text from Mike. I think I've mentioned this before to you."
Sebastian nodded.
"I didn't want to pry I really didn't, I trust Blaine, I do but-" Kurt choked out a sob, Sebastian didn't know what to do but settled for reached out to rub Kurt's back in soft circles. "What I left out if that Blaine had asked Mike whether he should break up with me. Because-" He cleared his throat. "Because he doesn't think he's in love with me anymore." Kurt sniffled, like every word was glass in his throat. "I felt so sick I- I couldn't believe, I-"
"Kurt." Sebastian said softly.
"I'm so pathetic, God." Kurt said, wiping at his eyes and his nose and sitting up straight. "What must you think of me?"
"I think you've had your heart broken, and it's okay to not be okay." Sebastian answered, reaching his hand up to wipe away a few fresh tears from Kurt's eyes.
Kurt giggled, then he started to laugh, full on cheek splitting, belly aching laughing, and Sebastian didn't know what to do.
"What?" He asked.
Kurt laughed harder. "I just can't believe my life right now. Do you not realise how senseless this all is? Look at us, Sebastian. Who even are you?"
Sebastian huffed a laugh and shook his head fondly. "That's the last time I try to cheer you up."
"And you were doing so well." Kurt teased.
There was a pause, then, before Sebastian asked hesitantly, "why do I get the feeling that that's not everything. What else?"
Kurt sighed, he stayed silent for a few more moments and Sebastian waited. "It's Blaine."
"Yeah I got that."
"No you don't understand. It's you and it's me and it's Blaine. Everything is so fucked up right now."
"Where is this going, Kurt?"
Kurt threw his head back in frustration because he didn't know how to word how he felt. He was obviously struggling with this so Sebastian gave him time. He settled on, "I still love him."
Sebastian clenched his jaw and tried not to get angry. He knew that Kurt loved Blaine, of course he did, he never fell out of love with him. It still hurt to hear. "I know." He said neutrally. "But?" He prompted.
"You." Kurt said clearly but not without difficulty, looking up into Sebastian's eyes.
"Wh- what about me?" Sebastian asked breathlessly, hoping he knew the answer.
"I'm getting to it." Sebastian raised his hands in surrender and Kurt rolled his eyes. He took another deep breath and stared at his shoes. "I just- I don't think I can deal with… you. Right now." Sebastian furrowed his brow, still no clearer on where Kurt was going with this, but not sure he wanted to know. Kurt sighed again as if working out how to voice whatever internal crisis was currently going on in his mind. Sebastian could be patient, for Kurt. "And my feelings for you. For us, for whatever this is. I just can't deal with that right now."
There was a long pause, the air completely still but Sebastian didn't move an inch for fear of breaking Kurt. "Oh." He finally said. He had been so focused on his own developing feelings for Kurt and the idea that Kurt is way way too good for him that he never really stopped to think that Kurt might feel the same way. That Kurt could ever feel that way about Sebastian. He didn't really know what to do with this information.
"Yeah." Kurt replied, his voice was croaky and tight, Sebastian couldn't bring himself to look at him. "Look, Sebastian. I-" Kurt took a deep breath, staring intently at his hands. "I don't know where I am right now. I just left Blaine. It's so fresh. You know." Kurt looked pained at the thought of hurting Sebastian.
"No pressure. I'll wait for you." Sebastian said, and he thought it might be the most sincere and honest he'd ever been.
Kurt stared back, wide eyed. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, speechless.
Sebastian huffed a laugh. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."
Kurt seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
"I'm s-"
"Don't, 'Bastian." Kurt said suddenly, stepped to face Sebastian and raising his hand to hover a brush away from Sebastian's chest. He looked like he wanted to place his hand there, to just collapse forward into Sebastian's arms. But he didn't. "Just not right now, okay." He chanced a glance up and the expression Sebastian was met with prevented Sebastian from doing anything other than nodding. "Thank you." Kurt whispered.
"Let's just go back to the car." Sebastian said, reaching out slowly to put his arm around Kurt to guide him down the sideway and back to the parking lot.
The drive back was quiet, both Kurt and Sebastian too preoccupied with their own thoughts to say much. Sebastian let Kurt plug his phone into the stereo so he didn't have to put up with anymore of Sebastian's 'music' as he air-quoted, and Sebastian suffered through the show tunes and the Beyoncé because he'd been through so much lately he would've have felt guilty saying no. Plus, Kurt music taste wasn't that bad, really.
Kurt ended up falling asleep somewhere between 'La Vie Boheme' and 'For Good' and Sebastian almost had to pull over for a moment to take a picture but thought better of it. He didn't look very comfortable, his head gently knocking against the window every time they hit a pot hole, he should have offered him a pillow or something. He would certainly wake up with a crick in his neck, at least. But Sebastian didn't want to wake him now, this was the most peaceful Sebastian had seen him look in months, no stress or tension on his face. He hoped whatever he was dreaming of was pleasant.
Sebastian was still hesitant to wake Kurt up when they reached his house a few hours later. Kurt had slept the entire way but Sebastian still kept his playlist on. He felt like he was learning something more with each song that played. He had a feeling that most of them had some connection to Blaine, and he turned up his nose at the thought, but then he began to wonder what songs Kurt would add to their playlist, hypothetically, and he smiled.
Reluctantly, he shook Kurt awake, who was actually more adorable sleep ruffled and confused than when he had been lightly snoring against the window. He walked him to the door and after a moment's hesitation pulled him into a tight hug.
"Get a good night's rest, okay." He said as he squeezed Kurt's arm.
Kurt smiled and nodded. "Thank you, for today and everything. For being so kind and so patient. I never knew you had it in you."
"Well what can I say?" Sebastian joked, putting his hands in his pockets.
"G'night Sebastian."
"Goodnight." He echoed and walked back to his car.
After spending most of the day with Kurt in the car, Sebastian missed being able to look over in the passenger seat and find him there. He thought they should go on a proper road trip sometime, maybe.